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Some topical satire for you all.

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TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 20:56, archived)

Yup! Every 2 years or so, when drunk and venturing into a supermarket, I'll buy a pack

I like to lick the sugary-goodness off.

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Zumf Ham banjo, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:00, archived)

You're only drunk every two years?

I cannot relate to this at all.

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:02, archived)

The combination of drunk + in supermarket + in biscuit isle + desire for nostalgic sugar-based confection

Happens rarely. I am drunk 0.28% of the time.

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Zumf Ham banjo, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:05, archived)

I don't understand any of that.

I'm drunk.

;)

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:06, archived)

that's disgraceful. i NEVER drink!

totally a lie

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:07, archived)

But are you drunk more than 0.28% of the time?

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:09, archived)

probably

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:10, archived)

But it does seem quite* low (0.28)

really*

I was thinking around 28%

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:13, archived)

not that much, no

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:14, archived)

Okay, 38%

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:15, archived)

i still have a liver, so no

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:17, archived)

Fuckin' lightweight!

;)

I've checked the calendar and may pop over if that's okay :D

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:19, archived)

the more the merrier!

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:20, archived)

Haha

Thank God that didn't happen with Monster Munch.

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monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:00, archived)

I've never had Monster Munch

a boy at school used to eat them and then burp right in your face.

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TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:01, archived)

Guy at work did this today.

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Mu Dinofiddler, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:13, archived)

hope you punched him in the neck.

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TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:14, archived)

He didn't like it

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:51, archived)

Good god I love Monster Munch

anyone recall the e-number-tastic ones?

And the biscuits...

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..wil, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:02, archived)

I had some beef ones the otherday

They were ace.

And still big.

I'm going to get some pickled onion ones tomorrow

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Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:09, archived)

They remove the surface of my tongue!

I snorted the dust for a bet once. Don't.

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..wil, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:17, archived)

a frined on mine snorted formula powdered milk once

he said all he could smell for two days was gone off baby sick.

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Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 22:15, archived)

this is one of the reasons getting older sucks

you can't eat a whole box of jaffa cakes without getting an upset tummy :(

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Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:01, archived)

I used to make porridge using Carnation Cream

then stir half a tub of treacle into it.

I feel sick just thinking about eating that now...

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..wil, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:03, archived)

So how have you been since the artery transplant?

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:05, archived)

Oh no I imagine that was caused by teh fried bread

obligatory on the side of every fried breakfast in the '70s, can't waste that lard!

Thing was it tasted great!

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..wil, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:30, archived)

Moral of the story?

Good is bad.

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:41, archived)

had to be cut into triangles

for piercing your fried eggs

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:44, archived)

ahhh party rings

the slag of the biscuit world

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cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:02, archived)

Would this make pink wafers the drag queens of the biscuit world?

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:04, archived)

of course it would

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:06, archived)

i see them more as the Justin Bieber of biscuitery

and therefore they should be shunned

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cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:12, archived)

It's a good job I'm renowned for eating Bourbon biscuits then, hence the name.

Pink wafers are cunts; if they're in a barrel with other biscuits, they leave pink dust on them. So inconsiderate.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:15, archived)

i'm a simple girl with simple tastes

shortbread biscuits all the way.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:18, archived)

that's biscuit spunk

like i said...slags !

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cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:19, archived)

Eurgh! D: my poor poor Bourbon biscuits!

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:23, archived)

If this applies to McVitie's chocolate digestives too, I am going to be so, SO upset when I'm older.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:03, archived)

you'll have upgraded to choccy hobnobs by then

fear not

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cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:14, archived)

I wonder when this biscuit puberty will happen...

Hopefully not tomorrow, still got some digestives in the cupboard o_o

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:17, archived)

you can buy a hormonal test in Boots

that will help you gauge your future optimal biscuit barrel capacity

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cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:23, archived)

I hope I don't lose my cool, it's always so embarrassing buying things like that.

I remember when I wanted to get a test on why I don't drink beer, only spirits.

The cashier called me a shirt-lifter.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:30, archived)

this may be slightly controversial

but i never really liked party rings

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:05, archived)

That is definitely controversial.

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TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:07, archived)

too hard for me

i didn't like biscuits very much as a child

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:08, archived)

you're not alone there

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Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:52, archived)

Party Rings were always powdery and rubbish.

Biscuit fact.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:13, archived)

YOU ARE WRONG.

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TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:15, archived)

NO, YOU'RE A BISCIDIOT.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:16, archived)

IT'S ALL KICKING OFF!!!!!

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cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:17, archived)

YOUR MOTHER.

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TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:19, archived)

YOUR FACE.

You still in Sheffield? If so, ZOMBIE THING.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:22, archived)

Near Sheffield. I was there today.

What zombie thing is this?

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TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:26, archived)

ZOMBIE THING

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:31, archived)

Hmm... MAYBE.

I don't know if I own any warm clothes that I'd be willing to potentially ruin.

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TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:52, archived)

Wimp.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 22:13, archived)

Needs more homosexual tendencies.

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:17, archived)

Most things do

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..wil, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:33, archived)

i ate a whole pack of them in one sitting a week or so ago

ridiculously sugary, but nostalgic

Dammit - youre making me want to go out and buy some now!

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taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:23, archived)

i want a sherbet fountain

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:28, archived)

Rainbow Kali from a massive glass jar

with a stick of liquorice to dip into it.

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..wil, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:36, archived)

i once bought 300 pixie sticks

and made a sherbet "sand sculpture" with them in a bottle.
then i ate it.
finally got to sleep 29 hours later.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 21:42, archived)

Awe..... I had the same with an old jamaci bar.... but never liked party rings..... after I found out what they were by way of google....

(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 22:07, archived)

Ringing far too many bells there :)

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Pig Bodine., Thu 3 Nov 2011, 22:17, archived)

Sometimes I am overcome by confusion and desperation when I open a packet of party rings

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 22:27, archived)

Party ring woman needs company...

(scruffygit has an enormous clock -, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 23:32, archived)