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#
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:16, archived)
# How did you get that corduroy effect?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:17, archived)
# MOFAHA TELL ME
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:22, archived)
# TONIGHT IS CORDUROY NIGHT YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:22, archived)
# really?
but i'm wearing sequins!
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:24, archived)
# FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, HE SENT HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON
ALL DRESSED UP IN A LEMON CORDUROY CATSUIT
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:27, archived)
# It's not lemon, it's urban camouflage
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:27, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:54, archived)
# Being an invisible murderer in ikea might be the only possible way to enjoy a visit.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:59, archived)
# I love the Ikea in Adelaide.
Cheaper than the Homebush one, food is better and the play area for the kids doesn't have 50 minutes queues.
Not having relatives out here means the only time we get to ourselves before their bedtime is when they're playing in the ball pool there. We can go eat cake without having to share it.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:02, archived)
# Sometimes I think about being a dad
then I hear comments like this.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:03, archived)
# play dates!
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:05, archived)
# It's definitely worth it, but it is very highly dependent on whether you want to do it.
I'm not one of those who reckons life is empty without kids, but I certainly enjoy having these two around. It's the little odd things like finding your youngest, who we'd never heard sing before, turns out to be nearly pitch perfect.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:06, archived)
# Yeah I only really think about it because I'm one of the last few in my circle of friends to not have one
I don't want to have to share my booze with some infant
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:09, archived)
# Fair enough.
Although they probably get drunk on very little if you did have to share.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:14, archived)
# Theres no such thing as nearly perfect pitch.
You either have it or you don't.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 12:34, archived)
# By the way... if he is a good singer...
There are good ways and bad ways to foster that talent.

Good way: sign him up to a youth choir with plenty of chicks in. That ruled.

Bad way: sign him up to a Cathedral Choir boarding school. That sucked.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 12:37, archived)
# anna's ginger thins are the other reason to go to ikea
that and reindeer meat, which we don't seem to get over here
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:04, archived)
# Yeah I forgot about the ginger thins.
The reindeer meat is seasonal. They usually have it just after Christmas.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:06, archived)
# After the reindeer have finished deliverng the Christmas stock...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:07, archived)
# i don't think we get it here in oz.
i'll have to ask the missus when she next goes there
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:08, archived)
# Not seen it in Homebush or Adelaide.
Sucks.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:09, archived)
# I never realised my opinions on ikea were so controversial.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:07, archived)
# I actually like it there.
I like watching people trying out the furniture, and I like the product names.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:04, archived)
# I like to have a direct route to wherever I want to be in a shop and I get stir crazy when I have to push past pregnant ladies and 6 year olds just to buy the desk I found in the first room.
I refuse to navigate their maze just for the chance of giving them my money.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:07, archived)
# n00b. There's the secret doors for those who know.
I've done a smash-and-grab in under eight minutes before.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:09, archived)
# Not in the one I last visited but that was Sunnybank in Qld.
I even asked the guy in the cafeteria if there was a quick way out and he said no.

Fucking fire hazard if you ask me.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:11, archived)
# True.
The one we usually go to has shortcuts signposted, you can cut through in about 10 minutes, assuming you're prepared to push people out of the way.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:14, archived)
# you forgot to mention that what you want is never in stock either
and the delivery drivers are half witted wank socks
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:10, archived)
# And if a city gets a second store built, they divert all the stock there.
I could have set fire to the Homebush store for selling out of packing boxes just as we were moving. All the new stock went to Tempe and there was a four week delay on new boxes.
/rage blog
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:13, archived)
# One time I got to the warehouse and I only wanted one thing which was then out of stock.
I took the one on display that had already been built, gave them my money and walked out glaring at them. To their credit they were all quite understanding.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:13, archived)
# I GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT I REALLY DON'T LIKE IKEA YOU GUYS
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:15, archived)
# Nearly 50% of the current population of Europe was concieved in an Ikea bed.
Almost 40% of them managed to do it in the showroom.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:17, archived)
# I'M AFRAID I CAN'T ACCEPT THAT GRONKPAN
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:21, archived)
# YOU DO KNOW ABOUT THE SHORTCUTS, RIGHT?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:23, archived)
# SRSLY?
It's a texture applied to the mask of an adjustment layer, with the blend mode of the layer set to Luminosity.
The texture's from the Texture filter in photoshop, it's a layer of vertical grain overlayed with a layer of normal grain.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:24, archived)
# FOR ALL YOUR CORDUROY NEEDS
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:25, archived)
# everything will be corduroy tonight
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:26, archived)
#
www.youtube.com/watch?v=okuLMgvZM7w
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:11, archived)
# IT LOOKS LIKE MY CARPET
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:25, archived)
# so, what you're saying is
u filtad!


oh hai wb
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:26, archived)
# THIS IS THE CHRISTMAS I END EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU CUNTS WITHOUT MERCY OR EXCEPTION
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:27, archived)
# FUCKING TRY IT YOU VEGETARIAN
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:29, archived)
# FUCK
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:30, archived)
# SRSLY GRONKPAN IF IT WASN'T CORDUROY NIGHT I'D BE PRETTY FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT NOW
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:32, archived)
# AND IF HUMANS COULD DIGEST CELLULOSE I'D BE HIGH FIVING YOU BUDDY
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:37, archived)
# I'm sorry, that was uncalled for.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:41, archived)
# MAN I'M SO FULL OF FIBER I JUST DON'T CARE
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:03, archived)
# EAT A PEAR
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:04, archived)
# !!!
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:10, archived)
# *I like this*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:55, archived)
# it doesn't work with photos mofaha you may have just ruined corduroy night
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:54, archived)
# IT LOOKS LIKE FUCKING CURTAIN NIGHT ALL OVER AGAIN
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:54, archived)
# Yay for fabric effects.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 Dec 2011, 8:03, archived)
# That's one for my xmas stalking*.
*sic & AAU
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:20, archived)
# Absolutely Lovely!
(A_Charmed_1 is searching for the One Ring . . ., Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:42, archived)
# niiiiiiiiiiiice!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 7:50, archived)
# why so sad woman with your boobs on show?
(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 9:10, archived)
# You know at first they can be all serious.
Sometimes it takes them a while to smile.
(Smoked Oysters Yes, magick helmet! And I will give you a sample!, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 9:39, archived)
# has she been ironing her tits?
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Sat 24 Dec 2011, 10:00, archived)