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# Noon, peeps. What should I draw the'day?

(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:46, archived)
# Mutilated lips
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ษส‡ฦ๐’ สžษ”nโ„ฒ uooW, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:47, archived)
# The Blarney Stone!
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:49, archived)
# I lick my brain in silence :)
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ษส‡ฦ๐’ สžษ”nโ„ฒ uooW, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:51, archived)
# with tits
and the spittle of a million people
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:51, archived)
# Pineapple with tits.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:48, archived)
# 2 minutes late today
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ษส‡ฦ๐’ สžษ”nโ„ฒ uooW, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:48, archived)
# A green one?
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:55, archived)
# Yeah :D
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:02, archived)
# ^ this
Each 'scale' on the pineapple is a tit. It would look quite nightmarish
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:58, archived)
#
nightmarish opposite of nightmarish.
(I helped save b3ta! dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:01, archived)
# Imagine knitting a bra for that
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:06, archived)
# B3ta user pineapple will be pleased
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:06, archived)
# a potato of doom
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:48, archived)
# A man walks across a dark, rainy car-park to his small family hatchback and settles into the nondescript interior with a sigh.
It has been a long day. A woman went insane in the dairy aisle and the smell of fermented dairy produce has somehow followed him to the car. He leans forward to start the engine and with a grimace realises his shoes are still coated in stinking, fruit yoghurt. He opens the window a little and then puts the blowers on to try and keep condensation off the windscreen. As the car pulls away into the rain, he thinks he sees a Japanese schoolgirl standing beside the hedgerow, but as the car headlights round on the space it turns out to be nothing more than a collection of plastic bags, dumped beside an already full recycling bin.

The deputy manager is late to collect his wife from the gymnasium where she works on the other side of the out of town retail park. He drives diagonally across the empty car park spaces, taking a short cut the wrong way across a roundabout to reach the gym quicker. Approaching the imposing grey composite and neon frontage, he is shocked to see his wife, sharing a cigarette with one of the other gym instructors. Pascal, the Frenchman, he sees with a mixture of anger and despair. They lean in toward each other and the deputy manager grips the steering wheel tightly, anticipating intimacy which doesn't come. He pulls the car round in a tight arc in front of the gym and brakes hard, surprising them. The deputy manager's wife slides into the passenger seat and wrinkles her nose at the smell. The deputy manager stares into the rear-view mirror in trembling fury as Pascal gets into the back. The smell of yoghurt mixes with the smell of high tar unfiltered French tobacco.

"We're giving Pascal a lift home.โ€ says his wife, latching her seatbelt.

The deputy manager says nothing, but lets his gaze linger over her toned thighs as he thumps the car clumsily into first gear and pulls away, the rhythm of the windscreen wipers slowly dulling his anger, pulling him back into a coma-like driving trance where he can ignore his wife flirting and the sleazy replies of the Frenchman still looming in the rear view mirror.

As they roll onto the bypass, he notices distantly the Frenchman's hand, rubbing his wife's buttock, massaging slowly, murmuring strongly accented words amid the wanton laughter of his wife. The deputy manager is suddenly overwhelmed by the smell of rotting dairy produce and French tobacco. He slews the car onto the hard shoulder and stumbles out of the car into blasting spray and honking horns. He staggers to the hard shoulder and across the barrier, vomiting hard, hot sick fountaining into the unkempt grass. The effort makes him sink to his knees, where he vomits again, the puke pouring out across his knees. He no longer cares. He has lost his wife to the Frenchman. He begins to sob.

A hand is laid on his shoulder. Through the rain and hot tears he sees it is the Frenchman, his face a knot of genuine concern. Beyond him, he can see his wife, still in the car, texting. The deputy manager stares at this tableau as an articulated lorry carrying stainless steel pilings meant for a new out of town development jack-knifes in the rain. The truck envelopes the small family hatchback containing his wife like a wave taking a sandcastle, shearing the top of the car away before it is lost in screaming, sparking metal and a spray of oily rain. The screeching of brakes and sound of more collisions reaches the deputy manager as he slowly curls up in the grass. Guiltily, he notes with satisfaction that the Frenchman has a high pitched, almost female scream.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:48, archived)
# *applauds*
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:51, archived)
# these are getting better and better
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:53, archived)
# Adding a paragraph a day?
:D
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:53, archived)
# BTW
www.b3ta.com/board/10705543#post10705734
What's do you mean?
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:56, archived)
# The Pig/Tuna hybrid?
It is the future.
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:02, archived)
# I made it??
?_?
(I helped save b3ta! Death is the Eternal I have not my ally, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:06, archived)
# you did?
XD Thanks XD
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:07, archived)
# What?
No you didn't.
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:08, archived)
# he didn't?
XD Thanks XD
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:10, archived)
# "made me do it"
He's joking that you forced him to do it
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:23, archived)
# Bravo, mon frere.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:54, archived)
# Click click click clickitiy click click click...... click.
click.
(I helped save b3ta! dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:57, archived)
# With tits.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:57, archived)
# Also, these are is getting more graphic by the day :D
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:58, archived)
# Hmmmm

I think these are quite wonderful
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:37, archived)
# Well done sir!
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:55, archived)
# treemendus stuff
(I helped save b3ta! charlie brown doesn't have a dog but still enjoys shitbagging, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 14:00, archived)
# Bravo!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 14:03, archived)
# A tour de force
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 14:09, archived)
# The Pear of Anguish
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:49, archived)
# Plums of Rage!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:50, archived)
# I had those this morning.
Sat down too fast on an exercise bike.
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:54, archived)
# I get them when I forget the khazi lid's down
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:57, archived)
# A loaf hassled by two blocks and two caterers
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:50, archived)
# A carpet fitter fighting Windy Miller.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:53, archived)
# Gary Glitter, Carpet Fitter.
Or 'Windy' Miller finally asking the pharmacist to recommend something...
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:06, archived)
# GOT IT!
Windy Miller, on the toilet, biting a towel and screaming as he unleashes pure fucking hell, after being constipated for most of his life.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:10, archived)
# A well-known movie/TV show/album cover with a Hairy White-Mouse in charge.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:56, archived)
# The Norse God of lightning relaxing in just his thunderpants.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:58, archived)
# Sylvester Stallone as Judge Dredd being whipped by a room full of hunchbacks and deaf-mutes using coathangers.
Or a pelican being surprise-sexed by a bear.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:58, archived)
# Frank Sinatra: Alien Hunter
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:59, archived)
# A bunny girl in a magicians hat
with tits
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:59, archived)
# A samurai chicken
fighting against a hoard of evil Swedish chefs.
(I helped save b3ta! dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:00, archived)
# Jesus Christ dying on the cross for our sins
with a massive boner
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:00, archived)
# There was no crucifiction.
He was found hanging from his belt, attached to the hanger rail in a wardrobe.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:04, archived)
# Devine stranglewank
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:32, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 14:04, archived)
# Raging for our sins
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 14:18, archived)
# "Little Jesus" has risen!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 14:24, archived)
# Old Gnus Telling Jokes.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:01, archived)
# The Lusty Argonian Maid
(David Carradine, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:03, archived)
# *googles "Argonian"*
What the f**k is that thing? A frog man?
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:05, archived)
# It's kind of a running gag from The Elder Scrolls
you have a chance to stumble upon a book of that title in most games of the series
Argonians are the series' saurian race

Edit: pfft, there's even a short transcript
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:11, archived)
# I tried to play Oblivion.
I thought it sucked.
Kinda like wandering around the English countryside, just less dangerous.
I'm more of a Fallout guy.
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:15, archived)
# I also like Fallout better
but with all the bugs Bethesda manages to drown all their games in, I kinda felt home in Oblivion too :)

Edit: DO ANOTHER "HOW TO PLAY" PLEASE
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:17, archived)
# ^This. Shame about New Vegas feeling more like an expansion pack to FO3, than a fully-fledged game.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:19, archived)
# Agreed
although I like the whole 'guns' thing more than the 'swords and sorcery' thing anyway.
FO3 is one of my all-time favourite games but as ^he said there are SO MANY BUGS! How do these things ever get past quality control?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:31, archived)
# Promiscuous squirrels
with sti's
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:04, archived)
# Bastard stoats begat their cunting weasels
Promiscuous squirrels with their bagders
Ingrate voles condemned for all eternity
Before you see the mice, you must die.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 14:12, archived)
# a cockroach
with a cock and a roach

and tits
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder โ‚ wโ‚’โ‚™โ‚–y, wโ‚แตฅy wโ‚’โ‚™dโ‚‘แตฃ, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:06, archived)
# Tits with tits
(I helped save b3ta! Willmot laid a scotch egg, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:07, archived)
# Spiderman with cock hands.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:11, archived)
# SPIDERCOCK SHOOTS HIS STICKY WEB
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:15, archived)
# Yeah, then NYPD arrives on the scene
to find Spiderman has tied up the Green Goblin with hand-spaff. It's not a pretty sight.

"Hey Jenkins! Your wife knows all about this, am I right?" one cop says to the other, then they all laugh, then the credits roll.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:18, archived)
#
while making this noise
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:35, archived)
# :-D
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:16, archived)
# A Japanese cowboy
with tits
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ษส‡ฦ๐’ สžษ”nโ„ฒ uooW, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:19, archived)
# Porno lady viking
On a street corner. Handing out free CD samples of rockabilly music while wearing a mankini.

Rockerbilly semi nude viking babe basically.


Or just draw Chloe and some woman squeezing a beachball between their chesticals in a department store.
(cenaris Is dividing 3 by waffle, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:22, archived)
# hitler
shitting a pineapple

davy jones is wearing fishes as gloves and slapping a russian shot putter's surgically enhanced breasts with them.

in the background Michael Palin is attempting to the world record of putting marshmallows up a zebra's arse.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 13:48, archived)