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# Scaryduck is off being a media luvvie
so we have to do a quick old skool QOTW vote:

F) DIY Technohacks - the return. This time it's personal fucking dangerous! (dchurch)

W) The B3TA cookery book - We're bored of beans on toast. Pretend you're on Pinterest and share your cooking tips and recipes. (Scaryduck)

A) Behind the Scenes - Secret places you know how to get into / what's really going on back there.

P) Shit Stories (part 3) - It's 4 years since Shit Stories (Number Two) and 8 since the original Shit Stories. It's a fair bet some of you have done a poo since.

Vote now, vote often with your chosen letter. I'll tally them up in an hour or so when I've finished trawling through last week's QOTW for the funnies.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:57, archived)
# I'd talk about the secret places but well
my phoneline clicks a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:58, archived)
# here you go cthonic
QOTW VOTE FOR CTHONIC



(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:31, archived)
# Cheers
(for a minute I thought perhaps you'd just put up a still image of a vote)
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:52, archived)
# ringofrye on page three was quite funny
and also quite sad, his job doesn't define who he is
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:59, archived)
# \talk -->
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:01, archived)
# God, people posting things like this never gets tired!
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:01, archived)
# lol where's the picture lol
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:04, archived)
# LOL it's 401 pixels!
Just think of the grandsons!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:04, archived)
# too brown
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:07, archived)
# racist!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:07, archived)
# And the "font"
oh

my

god!

*waves hands in gay astonishment*
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:10, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:17, archived)
# AND HOW!

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:19, archived)
#

With thanks/apologies to Herman:D for original cat gif.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:29, archived)
# ^ This
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:38, archived)
# ^ What she said
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:39, archived)
# You want /talk to choose the QOTW?
Are you mad? ;)
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:02, archived)
# fuck yeah
it'll be awesome, man.

edit Sorry to TJ, but I'm thinking about having oxtail soup. I know none of you care, but I'm going to share anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:04, archived)
# Best of all the soups.
And gratz on the FP.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:11, archived)
# lol wut? FP?
edit: finally, after fucking 15 million years! I now have 2 FP's! I'm in the double FP club!

I shall celebrate, with soup.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:11, archived)
# Haha, congrats!

Well deserved, I think
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:18, archived)
# *gree* !
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:20, archived)
# you're all cunts :'(
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:15, archived)
# Don't sweat it, guy.
You're OK in my book.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:23, archived)
# well snugglewuggles to you too!
the rest of you, all fucking mean bullies :(
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:24, archived)
# Where's my fucking picture you cunt?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:07, archived)
# Also DIY technohacks
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:08, archived)
# Z) Discomeats bird stories
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:08, archived)
# There was this bird in a nightclub
and this dude she clearly had no interest in standing behind her making the most of the "lack of space" and trying to rub himself against her

she said to me "do you want to swap places?" and I said "I don't fancy him either" then laughed.

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:11, archived)
# Roffle.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:15, archived)
# also, I have a O_O WHAT THE SHITTING FUCK BE WRONG WID YOU WOMAN bird story that I already posted on here.. some time ago
I can't remember it as well as I remembered it then but it was amusing.

use keywords "talking to boyfriend" "mobile" "herself into a frenzy" might find it with that.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:18, archived)
# to be honest, qotw has run it's course
it just seems so desperate and needy. best just not bother.
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:10, archived)
# Talk's gone shit(ter) and /board's not what it used to be. Maybe it's time b3ta called it a day.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:11, archived)
# talk is a useful way of siphoning off the bitterest board members
/board is doing ok. it's as slow as it was when i joined
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:13, archived)
# infact, this whole internet lark, it'll never catch on.
screw the whole thing
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:13, archived)
# don't go too far
i might have to talk to my wife
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:14, archived)
# crikey, I know man
find a really big unreadable book.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:15, archived)
# That's what they've done to the French Internet.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:19, archived)
# C'est un bon bon de pomp tu bang bang avez vous un pompt tu pompt?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:21, archived)
# I did a bit of selective ignore buttoning
and am enjoying the board a lot more
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:23, archived)
# W
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:12, archived)
# A
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:13, archived)
# N
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:13, archived)
# K
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:15, archived)
# S
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:16, archived)
# T
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:16, archived)
# A
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:16, archived)
# I
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:16, archived)
# N
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:16, archived)
# S
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:17, archived)
# H
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:19, archived)
# N
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:18, archived)
# G
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:19, archived)
# O
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:25, archived)
# X
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:29, archived)
# Mornington Crescent
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:30, archived)
# I
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:19, archived)
# A
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:19, archived)
# R
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:19, archived)
# D
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:20, archived)
# K
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:20, archived)
# O
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:23, archived)
# I
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:33, archived)
# P
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:37, archived)
# W
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:04, archived)
# N
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:20, archived)
# A
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:20, archived)
# D
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:21, archived)
# \o/
A+ for effort.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:31, archived)
# It was probably the most pointless thing I've done in months
with the possible exception of trying to explain something to my boss using logic and rationality.
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:39, archived)
# Is Moggy your boss?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:04, archived)
# sounds familar :D
(I helped save b3ta! maggenspies mayhaps, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:06, archived)
# why?
(I helped save b3ta! Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:33, archived)
# P
I had an idea for a website called Turd Diaries. upload pictures of every one of your shits. Take a nostaligic look back over the logs you've crimped over the past year. Share your best richards with friends. vote for Deuce of the Day. the platform will be open ended so third party providers can develop apps. It'll be massive. I just need to raise the venture capital
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:34, archived)
#
www.ratemypoo.com
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:37, archived)
# do you think zuckerburg stopped just because someone else already had the same idea?
no. he went to work for them and stole it. This is web 2.0, a true social faeces network, a completely different offering. And this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for investors to get in at the ground floor
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:51, archived)