b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 1337672 (Thread)

# we just got this in the news here.
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.

Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
(yepp, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:32, archived)
# *bangs head on laptop repeatedly*
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow... etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:33, archived)
# *ahem*
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:33, archived)
# Smiley
Where was it that you could make your own smiley?
(scoobycat is eating elephants, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:34, archived)
# *sighs*
www.makeyourownsmiley.com
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:35, archived)
# if only
it was real.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# Does
sighs matter to you?
(I helped save b3ta! Gazelle_Hunter, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# Thanks
But the link won't work.

*starts to cry*
(scoobycat is eating elephants, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book.
What a goof. What's with you man? Come on.


/Helmet
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:39, archived)
# i tried the same trick
but you were a little bit quicker and much more tactful
(icedragon, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:40, archived)
# I'm allowed
I'm still at work and half asleep

*sulks*

Been a rubbish crappy day!!
(scoobycat is eating elephants, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:40, archived)
# This is the link you'er looking for.
Link
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:46, archived)
#
www.yeahlikeimgoingtofallforthatagain.com ;)
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:39, archived)
# *snigger*
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:41, archived)
# Here you go..
www.smiliegenerator.com/smiliegenerator_eng.html
(chriswakey, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:42, archived)
# test
(which i dont think will work)
(icedragon, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:50, archived)
# Anyone got any
NEW jokes?
(I helped save b3ta! pxyzyzygy, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:34, archived)
# What's black and white and red and screams because it can't turn round in alleyways?
.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:35, archived)
# Baby with a spear through its head?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# Close.
A nun with a javelin through her wimple.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# Mother, but I dont want to visit Grandma.

Shut up and keep digging.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:39, archived)
# What's the difference between a truckload of ball-bearings
And a truckload of dead babies?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:40, archived)
# You can't unload the
ball bearings with a pitch fork?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:40, archived)
# You went to the
same school of truckers that I did, evidently
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:42, archived)
# how many babies can you fit in a car?
depends if you've removed the limbs yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:43, archived)
# Seems so,
Do you remember Big Al Johnson?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:44, archived)
# you can't fuck
ball bearings?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:41, archived)
# erm...
if you want more like that...
www.dead-baby-jokes.com
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:44, archived)
# my grandad used to live in holland.
he wore inflatable shoes.

Last week he popped his clogs.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:40, archived)
# hahahaha
well, new to me
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:47, archived)
# what do you get if you put a leper in a jaccusi?
Porridge.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:39, archived)
# jamaica
(shiftClick shifts it., Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# I was resisting this.........but
Rectum
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:37, archived)
# alaska
ahem*
(icedragon, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:37, archived)
# a really fat penguin thats been shot?
(I helped save b3ta! ChaosTime The Fucking Moon Lord, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# penguins don't scream
they whistle or hum
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:39, archived)
# I thought
they made a kind of a whirring sound.
Shows how wrong one person can be.
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:41, archived)
# Me with an erection
and my new Agnes B teeshirt?
(I helped save b3ta! pxyzyzygy, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:42, archived)
# That's no lady
that's my wife...

Oh
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# can i carry your bag sir?


no, its alright, she'll walk.....
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:40, archived)
# if i was you, i'd leave.
now.
whilst you still can.
before the natives catch you and torture you and make you into stew.
(I helped save b3ta! evil pixie, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:34, archived)
# I like stew
I cook a mean stew.

He always tells me to "die you shit !"
(I helped save b3ta! koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:37, archived)
# Irish stew
in the name of the law!
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:38, archived)
# I think that's the best way to tell a joke!
Tell jokes about cooking meat to a VEGAN!!!! Well done Koit! Well done:)

Although that was actualy quite funny!
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:42, archived)
# But I'm at work
not paying attention so forgive my stupidity in that last comment as I never really read what she put to start with
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:44, archived)
# ahahahahaaaaa
BUT did I mention meat ?

See ?
wooo
(I helped save b3ta! koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:45, archived)
# Meat free stew, I hope.
With Quorn.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:37, archived)
# Hahahahahahahahaha!
Ahem.


Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:39, archived)
# Evil Pixie is so cute when she's scape-goating!
:D
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:41, archived)
# cannot say the word quorn
without saying it in a high pitched voice and thinking of ryan giggs.


odd.
(shiftClick shifts it., Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:40, archived)
# I have the same problem with the word
"sperm". Anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:42, archived)
# i still don't understand what your obsession with quorn is
or why you haven't realised yet that i don't eat it
(I helped save b3ta! evil pixie, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:43, archived)
# I can smell it on your foul vegetarian breath!
8¬*
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:55, archived)
# oi you
play nice
(Marvellous (mb) Mark, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 17:06, archived)
# ...and what about that Titanic eh?
terrible wasnt it.
(shiftClick shifts it., Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:34, archived)
# ooh careful
we're only a short step away from shouting "CORN!" at newcomers there.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:35, archived)
# hmmmmm.
corn.
(shiftClick shifts it., Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:37, archived)
# Bluuurgh!
Wheat is much better.
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:38, archived)
# what?
it sank?
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:37, archived)
# wasted shop potential there
(I helped save b3ta! Mond, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:34, archived)
# my dad says that all that time
about the high street.
(shiftClick shifts it., Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:35, archived)
# And Bovine
questioned why I don't like b3ta on Friday afternoons...
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:34, archived)
# PASANGER!
Bovine under grip of white devil, speak arseltongue.
PASANGER!PASANGER!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:37, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:35, archived)
# god that's old
.
(I helped save b3ta! benjymous help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:35, archived)
# *cough*
(I helped save b3ta! Bitchy Teresa is bitchy, duh., Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# *slams penis in door*
BANG BANG BANG
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:36, archived)
# Christ
I winced just reading that and I don't even have a penis.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:38, archived)
# *wince*
Damn you, I'd managed to convince myself it said pens, but you had to spoil it all.

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:39, archived)
# stops the pain of that joke
though
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:44, archived)
# You've been told about
doing that in public before.
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:38, archived)
# that's abit
harsh
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Fri 6 Jun 2003, 16:40, archived)