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# LETS PLAY A GAME
Who has the best job here.
(I'm nosey)
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:47, archived)
# My job
is a rep for student groups for the charity Barnardo's... basically a big chunk of it is to go around student unions getting drunk with Rags. now that's quite good.
(Seaneeboy, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:48, archived)
# Not bad
Excellent for pulling as well, students love it.
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:49, archived)
# I'm a
'software engineer' apparently, but for the last 3 weeks I've been an amateur potatoshopper
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:50, archived)
# me
.
(skagg, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:49, archived)
# What
do you do???
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:50, archived)
# im an evil cunt
that when not dicking about in the office which is populated by almost all the people he ever went to college with gets to call you up and say "excuse me sir, can i ask you some quetions while your food goes cold?"

my most memorable questions have been "are you afraid of flying? shortly after sept 11th aswell as "do you think you will get anthrax?" around the same time and more recently "what do you think englands chances are in the world cup?" (often greeted with a "HAH!")

but i only have to do that last bit when the system decides to a) work and b) connect me to someone who actually answers the phone

its great
(skagg, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:54, archived)
# ooh
lemme add to that that most of the boss type people are drunk half the time
(skagg, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:55, archived)
# Oh my god
You're an autodialler, you poor poor bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:56, archived)
# or to give their official name
"market research phone monkey"
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:58, archived)
# we prefer
market research cock-jockey
(skagg, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:59, archived)
# poor bastard?
i dont think youve ever done this job have you? listen closely while i regail you with tales of not having to speak to anybody on the phone whilst being paid to do so but instead having the distinct advantage of being avle to do anything but work in that time
(skagg, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:59, archived)
# im
glad i got on bt's big list of "dont phone these people"
(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:01, archived)
# which list is that
one applies to us and one doesnt

EDIT: although when doing the european comission studies we get sent our way none of the lists apply to us
(skagg, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:02, archived)
# The TPS list
applies to you guys when calling residential numbers. Not sure what the story is with businesses...
(I helped save b3ta! bob dinosaur, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:04, archived)
# i cant remember
what it was now, it was ages ago when we kept getting weird phone calls (seemed like someone had dialed and just left the phone - i could hear normal household goings on)

bt's first thing to do was to get on the list. eventually the calls stopped... odd it was
(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:05, archived)
# .
For everyone else, if you put register your phone number here it's illegal for market-resarch cock jockeys to call you! Ain't that grand?
(I helped save b3ta! bob dinosaur, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:03, archived)
# yeah
thats the one that applies to all except for special circumstances such as when we are working on behalf of the european comission

i just realised that makes me a government mule of-a market research cock jockey phone monkey
(skagg, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:06, archived)
# Woo and Yay!
I had heard of that but thought it was an urban myth. No more interrupted dinners for me!!
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:21, archived)
# I'm on that list
and about a month ago I got a call from CR Smith double glazing. I politely informed the caller that I had got double glazing and that I was on the exclusion list. To which he replied "well, fuck off then".
I found it quite intimidating actually.
(I helped save b3ta! cobby, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:32, archived)
# regail?
hmmm...I think your use of medieval english has just cost you the best job award
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:03, archived)
# ah
nutsacks
(skagg, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:05, archived)
# regale
is the 21st century spelling, n'est pas?
(I helped save b3ta! bob dinosaur, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:05, archived)
# again;
nutsacks!
(skagg, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:08, archived)
# best
in what respect?
best as in the most fullfilling?
best as in the best paid?
best as in I can read b3ta all day?
(I helped save b3ta! beardman, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:50, archived)
# JUST
put down your reasons and let us all decide
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:50, archived)
# see
munkt0n's answer above. and blend with fluff's below...

anyway. what do you do?
(I helped save b3ta! beardman, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:00, archived)
# I'm
a sales rep for Thames water, same as you only I cold call and visit solicitors to sell them maps of sewers and stuff.
Highly interesting I think you'll agree...
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:05, archived)
# i'm a temp
currently working for a government agency responsible for making sure all around us is nice and green and fresh and unpolluted.
i was brought in to do "about 2 months worth of work" - mostly filing and other admin crap. i finished it in about a week. i have now been here six months. my average day consists of b3ta, coffee, b3ta, chocolate snack, b3ta, lunch, b3ta, home. for this they pay me 6 of her majesty's finest every hour.
i like my job :)
(fluff, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:51, archived)
# Not bad at all
still not making me jealous though.
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:53, archived)
# so what do you do?
I'm an official sainsbury's.
(crazymum, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:02, archived)
# See above
...
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:09, archived)
# I am a marmot spooner
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:52, archived)
# my dream job!
...you bastard
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:54, archived)
# aha
so YOU wrote that letter to vulga then.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:55, archived)
# My job is best
cuz i don't hafta have one and don't ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Occasional Lurker, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:55, archived)
# Im a Programmer, Software Engineer... delete as applicable
In my last job i was a 'consultant developer' which was nice but didnt mean anything. I do lots of java programming, SQL, XML that kind of thing. Loads of J2EE also which interests me but no one else I expect.
(longboy_mcgoo, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:56, archived)
# HEY!!
That's my job!! Are you me? Bah! Why were you late this morning? ;)
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:58, archived)
# Me
Too... A trio of Engineer types. J2EE is my bag as well. I'd better stop before the details lower the tone.
(I helped save b3ta! pagram, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:39, archived)
# i'm a mastic asphalt spreader
.
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 14:58, archived)
# NO ONE IS WINNING
with the possible exception of the asphalter
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:01, archived)
# thank you
did noone else have neville sponge at school?
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:06, archived)
# I 'work'
At Netto. I stack shelves, sweap the floors, read customers shopping lists (most cant read) and generally get annoyed. And all for minimum wage! woo flop
(µ, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:00, archived)
# Defect to Aldi.
I hear they pay ridiculously high wages.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:02, archived)
# I'm afraid you heard wrong
I'm getting underpaid.
Death to Netto


(µ, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:06, archived)
# Øøøøøhhhhhh....
Du' jo fra Danmark? :Oo
(I helped save b3ta! Kaiser, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:17, archived)
# "Come to Netto
and watch some dogs shagging" ?
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:17, archived)
# they do
but its because they don't have barcode scanners and you have to memorise all the prices, or so i'm told
(I helped save b3ta! the triple legendary unicorn, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:06, archived)
# i went to an aldi recently
and was shocked to see they have succumb to the way of the bar code. so i guess its down to minimum pay now.
(crazymum, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:11, archived)
# My job is to
sit about the house all day doing "chrispodle" and "acid ate my baby" photoshops and generally cursing not having and money to buy Milla Jovovich's (the sexy bird from the resident evil film) cd.
(Dr_Never_Trust_A_Helper_Monkey, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:11, archived)
# i do stuff i enjoy
and get paid for it
(not enough though)

(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:02, archived)
# What stuff
you may win yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:14, archived)
# my jobs great
I'm currently avoiding doing the neccessary Credit Checking for a well known telecoms company - good for digging up dirt on all your neighbours. also good for lurking on b3ta boards all day
(dickyb, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:05, archived)
# ok
i AM envious of that! Can you look up some dirt for me? ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Occasional Lurker, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:12, archived)
# Clerical Officer for the NHS.
Actually, that's talking it down a bit (not my actual job title), but it is a shit job and us employees are not made to feel valued.
Grumblegrumble...
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:05, archived)
# No grumbling allowed
you were supposed to tell me wonderous tales of interesting jobs in nirvana like surroundings, but everyone is just depressed.
(I helped save b3ta! Banana, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:07, archived)
# I'm not
depressed, far from it, I've done bugger all work for the last 3 weeks, and nobody has noticed.

thanks to b3ta for keeping me occupied
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:09, archived)
# what do you expect
in a world of wage slaves?
(I helped save b3ta! beardman, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:14, archived)
# You expected us to all have wonderful jobs?
Crazy person! I wouldn't be skiving off so much if I had a decent job...
Sorry for depressing you... :)
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:23, archived)
# I'm a
games developer for a company in Oxford (see meh profile if you want to be even more nosey).
(bart, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:09, archived)
# copy
writer
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:26, archived)
# I was a hitman for the Finnish mafia
but they asked me to kill women and children so I quit. I'm in hiding now and I'm not allowed to tell any-
DOH!
(I helped save b3ta! zog why change it now?, Mon 24 Jun 2002, 15:24, archived)