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# Good Evening, Mr. Hat...

As you can see, I have completely eradicated all but one pure specimen of each
leading brand flavour of Kia-Ora. There are just these four pure specimens left,
being dangled at height over my shark infested pool, and just out of sight are
targeting lasers made from conflict diamonds. All of this in my secret volcanic
Kia-Ora-substitue erupting lair guarded by my many henchmen dressed in mock - Kia-ora
orange overalls.

Unless my demands are met, the last four pure Kia-Ora specimens will be vapourised - Forever!

/Demands to follow...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:18, archived)
# Noooooo, you bastard!
Save us, Dave The Facts!
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:19, archived)
# not real
no helecopter, no bridge
aicmfp
(I helped save b3ta! sudo is bored, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:21, archived)
# hehehe
if you have any demands going spare, i'd like one of those little octopuss things that you could throw at patio doors and they used to sort of walk down them
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:21, archived)
# *writes down on list for addition to demands*
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:22, archived)
# Can I have a replacement rear bumper for my car please

I spakkerly backed into a lamp-post
(I helped save b3ta! Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:24, archived)
# *adds to list*


/a little disappointed at the response so far, has been a little strange, was kind of expecting world domination at the very least...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:26, archived)
# no patio windows will be safe with me gadding about with my slimey
little octopuss friend
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:27, archived)
# oo i'll have some domination
from Angelina Jollie preferably
(I helped save b3ta! I could eat the scabs off a dead dog That was a brand new hat, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:29, archived)
# fraid she's taken...
she's my evil top henchwoman who attends to my every need

/except when the missus is at home
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:30, archived)
# damnit
Jessica Alba?
(I helped save b3ta! I could eat the scabs off a dead dog That was a brand new hat, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:37, archived)
# ok, you're on...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:41, archived)
# Hoorah a spanking
and then the oral sex

/python
(I helped save b3ta! I could eat the scabs off a dead dog That was a brand new hat, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:44, archived)
# If we're making a list...
I'd like the invention of teleportation

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:26, archived)
# a set of steak knives in a presentation box.

those little black rubber things, the ones that go 'neek, neek, neek', a big box of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 14:02, archived)
# *added to list*
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 14:06, archived)
# Nice lair!
Did you choose the furnishings yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! Doc G and Sid the Monkey may contain traces of spatula, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:22, archived)
# I AM a Great Architect aren't I, only the best for me...
Even the water is imported in, passed by the venezualan yaks of southern brazil (its a long story)
but trust me, its expensive
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:23, archived)
# The pair of 8ft gilded gnomes in the gents are a bit of an odd choice...
...but they might grow on me.
(I helped save b3ta! Doc G and Sid the Monkey may contain traces of spatula, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:26, archived)
# well, you know what they say...
Theres no place like gnome
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:27, archived)
# Hahahahaaaaaaaaa!
you're really trying . . .

*whips hip-flask from under hat*

*swigs*

*replaces*


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:22, archived)
# Go with it, ffs...
throw me a frickin' bone here
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:24, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
You did not account for the Kia-Orabots though did you!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:27, archived)
# *dispatches war rocket ajax*
/attacks and destroys kia-ora bots



/its a mini adventure this, Daniel Craig eat your heart out
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:28, archived)
# Ha!
Inconceivable!

These KiaOraBots are invincible!

(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:30, archived)
# ok, *dispatches warrior octupi*
who, with their keen brains and tentacles, undoes each cap off the tbottles and pours the insdies down the drain.

hahahahahahaha, nice try, but foiled!

/puts the powerpuff girls on standby just in case though...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:31, archived)
# Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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Bugger!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:37, archived)
# Whaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa
/evil laughs all around
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:42, archived)
# *winks*

OH NOES! I've run out of delicious Kia Ora!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:46, archived)
# this has gone further than i'd imagined...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:47, archived)
# Yeah . . . I'm laughing like a loon
at SSS's attempts to save the Kia Ora . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 14:00, archived)
# this may run and run all week,
like a 1930's serial
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 14:06, archived)
# so close
(captain barnacle, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:31, archived)
# Nice try mr. Chode
as you can see, my great-architectyness-intelligence has designed for every possibility
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:33, archived)
# you fiend
shakes fist angrily
(I helped save b3ta! Bobby Bob Bob also available on http://jbobw.deviantart.com/, Tue 18 Oct 2005, 13:43, archived)