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# If Islam is correct I'm going to hell
so why not this then..

this was a two minute quickie:

'Beef Burka'

(Skcone, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 0:56, archived)
# Easy on the relish for me, please.
Woo
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 0:57, archived)
# Hold the pickles for me . . .
otherwise . . . pretty heavy !
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 0:59, archived)
# get me a sasquatch burger and i'll put a word in for you
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:00, archived)
# mmmmm thasss a fucking big burger!
www.bigfootlodgememphis.com/1186477.html
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:04, archived)
# 11 minutes?
Jesus! In a former life he must have been a domestic landfill!
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:13, archived)
# I rekon I could do it in 10
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:14, archived)
# o_O
you're a monster
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:16, archived)
# We did armabreaddon
1 Loaf - 1 hour - is it possible - yes it is

and I managed a whole pack of party rings in sub 5 mins
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:17, archived)
# 1 loaf 1 hour?
I can demolish a whole fresh and still warm loaf from the bakers in under ten minutes!
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:28, archived)
# easy money
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:29, archived)
# It always goes much faster when it's still warm and the butter melts into it...
*mops mouth*
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:30, archived)
# Its harder then you think
but we went to the pub afterwards
more yeast wasnt advised
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:31, archived)
# hahahaha,,,
Tell me about it. I still do it far too much. A few pints, a couple of biftas, a loaf of bread at 3am straight from the oven. It takes minutes to eat and what felt like three quarters of an hour to give birth to a baby elephant.

In hindsight, maybe it should not have been whole grain.......
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:36, archived)
# haha
baby elephant!

I prefer reverse parking a brown volvo
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:37, archived)
# hahahahaha!
Cook a meat loaf in the porcelain saucepan
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:41, archived)
# hahaha
giving birth to dead baby otters is all ive got left

Depends how it rates on this tho:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_Stool_Scale
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:46, archived)
# hahaha!
I could eat it in the 60 minutes without a shadow of a doubt. As long as I could swap the tomatoes for something else. Double meat, maybe?
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:18, archived)
# fancy a trip to memphis?
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:21, archived)
# hell yeah
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:21, archived)
# eating that has got to go on my list
of things to do before I die
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:23, archived)
# oh yes.
Just for god sake, no tomato. Give me extra pickles if you must, but eating tomato is like biting into a boil.
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:27, archived)
# ok give me time to earn enough money then we're bashing it to memphis
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:30, archived)
# it's a deal!
then afterwards can we go out for a decent steak?
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:33, archived)
# I can imagine the interview with the bank manager to get the loan
"So why do you need this money?"

"To go to america to eat a burger"

"Ok, here you go"
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:34, archived)
# hahaha
that will take off a couple of ounces of the 7 and a half pound monster.
and if 1100 people have already failed - cant be THAT hard
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:30, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:15, archived)
# I prefer quarter pounders.
OJ: A lady opens her fridge one day and finds Jonathan Ross sitting on the middle shelf, reading a book.

"uh... what're you doing in there?" she asks.

"This is a Westinghouse isn't it?", Johnathan enquired.

"Yes..." the lady replied.

"Well I'm westing!" he said.
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:00, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:02, archived)
# pfffffffft!
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:03, archived)
# burger burger burka burger gerber burka
(maninthespoon, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:01, archived)
# all the juices and bits please
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:03, archived)
# hahaha
"if you enjoyed our "Beef Burka" you may also enjoy our famous "Iraq o' ribs", our "Coq au Van(quish the infidel)" or our Islam(b Tikka Bhuna)"
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:03, archived)
# Ok, I think you've had enough.
Take those puns outside, you're embarrassing us.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:05, archived)
# Syria-sly?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:05, archived)
# There's just no (muslim)it to your puns.
Should I allah you to keep posting such rubbish?
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:05, archived)
# hahaha
as the song by the Beautiful South goes, I shall

"Qur’an regardless" :)
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:09, archived)
# Martyr suggest you stop?
I think I'd prophe(r)t if you did.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:13, archived)
# your popularity has just bombed in Mecca
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:17, archived)
# To be fair,
they were praying on me from the start. I think it's their Shi'a weather. It's never Sunni.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:20, archived)
# hahaha
you're "adab" hand at this! To be fair, maybe we should "Bid'a" time and stop "munkar"ying around!
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:26, archived)
# Jihad to go there didn't you?
I mosque admit, I don't know anymore Islamis words and using wikipedia is against the punner's code (which I just made up) so I'm going to bow out.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:30, archived)
# tehehehe. this makes me hungry.
god i'm tragic, watching drop the dead donkey clips on youtube

youtube.com/watch?v=sLZ1LT0kd-4
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:05, archived)
# I miss that programme infintely.
And I've got testicles! Imagine that!
Edit: I feel like a spanner. I was thinking of Smack the Pony. Anyway, I stand by it.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:07, archived)
# it was gooodness
youtube.com/watch?v=gbXYnisZP9c&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:08, archived)
# *points and laughs at the geek*
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:07, archived)
# *rapes*
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:09, archived)
# Oh yeah, that's the good stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:10, archived)
# Hahahah!
I loved Drop The Dead Donkey!

I was studying journalism at the time, so it was practically research! I managed to download a load of episodes a while back - much slightly untopical satirical fun was had by all :)
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:08, archived)
# i'm assuming it's all on dvd now, so when i get some pennies i might have to treat myself
youtube.com/watch?v=770jzS3L2Eo
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:09, archived)
# There's a box set of the first n series.
Where n = a number. Possibly 4, I forget.
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:17, archived)
# oh yes
thats brill i need to get it on dvd or on my comp
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:16, archived)
# *buns embassy*
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:07, archived)
# damn,
Now I am hungry
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:19, archived)
# i'd jihad it
*burns embassy*
(I helped save b3ta! Foxglove -- it all ends in tears anyway..., Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:43, archived)