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# Do you ever wank?
If so, exactly.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:49, archived)
# Yes. but not into a torch.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:50, archived)
# Well see that's just you being vanilla.
You never know, it might be awesome.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:50, archived)
# I suppose.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:52, archived)
# Exactly.
Never say never. Especially to a policeman's torch.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:53, archived)
# but but but
what about a japs-eye/end spring connection?!?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:56, archived)
# That's the risk you take.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:57, archived)
# O_o



GAD-ZUKES!
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:59, archived)
# YARGH
made me cross my legs, and hence squish things...

Mind ouches and real ouches!
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:03, archived)
# it is awesome
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:55, archived)
# AWESOME! FOR SERIOUS?! TOTALLY!
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:57, archived)
# gag me with a spoon!
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:01, archived)
# *inserts cutlery*
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:45, archived)
# but really
if you need to elevate the menage รก un to the point where you want to imagine someone else is there
just get someone else involved
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:55, archived)
# If I wanted to imagine someone else was there
I'd probably go and get them too.

Do no men think about what it would be like to fuck a lady torch then?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:56, archived)
# no
ersatz vaginas will never be as good as a real one
because all it will do is counterpoint the fact that you do not have access to a real one at that juncture
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:58, archived)
# Maybe you do.
But maybe it's still preferable to use the fleshlight.

Like a fluffy sheep vagina. And I have no idea why that came to mind first.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:00, archived)
# cripes, that's a bit forward!
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:50, archived)
# Oh come ON, we're all humans.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:50, archived)
# heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
kidding dude :D
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:51, archived)
# I beg to differ.
*differs*
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:52, archived)
# *points* furry.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:53, archived)
# *ahem*
*closes curtains*
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:54, archived)
# Not as forward as a girl i didn't know walking up to me and talking in detail
about sex, masturbation and lesbian porn.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:53, archived)
# do you have her phone number?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:55, archived)
# I only saw her once.
And decided i didn't like her for reasons unrelated to that.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:56, archived)
# YOU mentioned sex first.
And I hadn't planned lesbian porn for ages yet. We've got artificial insemination, cock rings and spanish fly to cover first.

Turn to page 97- Daniel read the first paragraph please.

QUIET AT THE BACK. Is that gum?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:55, archived)
# Skip to spanish fly, I want to reference "Brass Monkey"
for Caewan
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:56, archived)
# When I want a help teaching I will get a supply teacher
for you all to torment for a day.

UNTIL such time you will turn to page 97. And I want nobody's voice in the room except Daniel's. The first three I hear get detention.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:59, archived)
# When Caewan was staying at my house
he kept saying I fancy Killerkitti, so I told him he must fancy Smash Monkey.
I kept singing "SMASH MONKEY! THAT FUNKY MONKEY!" to him.
Then when he left, he was still signed in on IE, so I put a large image in his profile declaring his love for her.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:01, archived)
# Oh yeah, i remember that.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:03, archived)
# but smash monkey is above the age of consent
so it's not grooming
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:03, archived)
# I'm not grooming Kk, though. :]
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:05, archived)
# keep telling yourself that
and it might hold up under polygraph
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:38, archived)
# Hahahahahah!!
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:49, archived)
# That's detention.
Ah-ah-ah, no arguing, I did warn you. Any more and you'll go to the Headmaster's office.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:03, archived)
# Get the cane.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:06, archived)
# I would be arrested.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:07, archived)
# Oooh handcuffs
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:08, archived)
# not if he asks for it
he's over 16 right?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:08, archived)
# Soon, soon...
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:09, archived)
# I think it's different if it's a pupil
loco parentis and all that.

Oh yeah, and also no he's not.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:09, archived)
# oh yeh
that old chestnut.

although in the absence of any teaching qualifications you may get off
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:11, archived)
# I partly understand this.
Partly not
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:01, archived)
# SMASH MONKEY
THAT FUNKY MONKEY
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:02, archived)
# You fancy KK.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:03, archived)
# Quiet, you'll give the game away.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:06, archived)
# I'm not really sure I want to ask, but...
"Spanish fly"?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:59, archived)
# el fligo, signor
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:59, archived)
# You'd make a good teacher.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:00, archived)
# I don't have nearly enough patience.
Which is a shame, I'd find it rewarding.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:01, archived)
# meh
girl i was chatting to on fri was telling me she loves giving fellatio, hates receiving cunnilingus and prefers being fingered.

her mates wouldn't fuck off and give me a clear shot though
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:57, archived)
# She hates receiving blow jobs?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:01, archived)
#
Hrmf.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:02, archived)
# Heh! Triplepiss!
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:03, archived)
# Around 15 years ago...
My little brother was at a party, saw some bird he fancies and told his mate "I'd love to suck her cock". I'm his best man next year, and I'll need to somehow work it into my speech without being quite as graphic as he was.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:04, archived)
# a lad at my school
once said something similar. dunno if he's still alive to be fair
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:06, archived)
# Oh god.
I'm not letting anyone be my best man if i get married.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:08, archived)
# that's a very expensive operation
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:09, archived)
# YOU BASTARD
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:11, archived)
# badum-ching
you young uns correcting my improper slang
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:04, archived)
# I read a lot.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:06, archived)
# i tried
to inflate my lady friend by blowing into her mimsy to give a woman a blowjob....


...she didnt like it

/ninja's
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:04, archived)
# You just put her lips together and blow?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:05, archived)
# could've at least spelt mimsy right :D
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:05, archived)
#
;-)
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:10, archived)
# Video jug told me about 90 women a year die from this.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:06, archived)
# *pop*






???
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:09, archived)
# Yes.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:11, archived)
#
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:15, archived)
# Very dangerous, is forcing air into a mimsy.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:15, archived)
# because queef follows shortly afterwards?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:18, archived)
# Or death.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:20, archived)
# i see
i shall take my chances, just won't use compressed air
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:22, archived)
# how and why?!
sheerly it just come rushing out as a high pitched "fweeep"
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:23, archived)
#
She hates getting her cock sucked?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:02, archived)
# She was a girl?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 22:02, archived)
# Hmm.
But what's up with the whole fleshlight thing?
You have free hands.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2008, 21:50, archived)