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# TJ: i do not believe the phone convesation i've just had.
i've just had to call my personal tutor to explain that i wouldn't be able to make my seminar because my girlfriend has locked me inside my own house.
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:54, archived)
# hahaha
Misery 2: O'Bedlam
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:55, archived)
# Its like rear window in here.
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)
# like this? I like a bit of voyeurism myself...
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:05, archived)
# I know those pants.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:07, archived)
# yes
I borrowed them from Dixy.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:32, archived)
# there is nothing fwappable i can see from my window.
however, in another Hitchcock reference it is a bit like the birds. my mental neighbour throws tons of birdseed on the street everyday so it constantly full of bloody pigeons
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:07, archived)
# Hahaha
I have a seminar today that I don't want to go to, I may try that excuse...
(I helped save b3ta! Fishcat Difficult difficult lemon difficult., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:55, archived)
# haha I locked my gf in once
and forgot my telephone, when I got back from work the poor thing was hungry and raged.
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:55, archived)
# i have only a packet of crisps and 2 bottles of wine
its all about to go very Black Books
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:59, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
The wasps are your friends :DF
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:00, archived)
# This is LONELY SOLDIER
My location......BOOK SHOP
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)
# Pfft!
I havent watched Black Books in too long!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:04, archived)
# Small, medium, Goliath or God.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:05, archived)
# how many chips do you want?
40?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:05, archived)
# This belt is made of real leather.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:06, archived)
# are they leatherbound pounds?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:08, archived)
# Smoking makes you dead.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:09, archived)
# when y're y'know... doing your skinhead threesom thing in the middle of the night, do you get confused between your heads and your arses
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:11, archived)
# Millwall Millwall, you're all really dreadful
and all your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:15, archived)
# this is you. tra-la-la-la tra-la-la-la
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:16, archived)
# :D
I'm sorry you remind me so much of him, if you're at all offended. I'm sure if I ever caught you in a bad mood you'd be Bernard.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:18, archived)
# i've had far worse comparisons.
i invite less of them now that i'm surrounded by a thick cloud of smoke and empty wine bottles all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:21, archived)
# 'i'm surrounded by a thick cloud of smoke'
You caved?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:22, archived)
# oh sorry, now that i'm NOT
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:28, archived)
# So Jim, have I ever told you about the old country?
The songs! Oh Jim, they'd melt your face. "Ohh I live in a shoe on Moore Street, I'm a prostitute from Newry..."
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:19, archived)
# Why......why did you buy a wicker toilet?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:20, archived)
#
Uhh got to blend in with a heavy metal group... who stole some... furniture. Bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:22, archived)
# Sat on myself to some extent...
We've got to stop this, we look like fools.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:22, archived)
# I've been doing this job for tweny minutes- YEARS!
Twenty years. Since I was... fifteen. And uhh you know, it doesn't get any easier. That's why I've made my decision to retire. That's right, Barry, I'm retiring. Nogsy was my last case. I've had a hundred per cent success rate. I'm only getting older and slower. It's time for this old warhorse to be put out to pasture.


(had to check that one -- but only a very wee bit)
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:24, archived)
# Tog o with your wallet?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:10, archived)
#
You hear that? He's up there... mewing in the nerve centre of his evil empire. A ground rent increase here, a tax dodge there? he sticks his leg in the air, laughs his cat laugh... and dives back down to grooming his balls!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:07, archived)
# What'sthetemperature?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:07, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
To 4od I go :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:09, archived)
# Guaranteed the whole 'what happens at half ten' thing happens
when myself or my friends ask the time and it is infact half ten.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:10, archived)
# film it.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)
# Maybe you can meeeooooooww a lot
and get your neighbor to do some food shopping for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:06, archived)
# PARTY!
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:08, archived)
# her surname wouldn't be Fritzel, perchance?
:D
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:55, archived)
#
e
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:57, archived)
# too soon?
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:59, archived)
# not soon enough
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:00, archived)
# oooooh personal tutor

surely the butler has a key
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:55, archived)
# bwahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:56, archived)
# oh hush, its just a university title
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:58, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:59, archived)
# posh git.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:59, archived)
# Hahahaha she's made you her bitch.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:57, archived)
# Literal translation of the word boyfriend, I believe.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)
# No you're looking for
"Psychotic egomaniac's carer."
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)
# 6 of one, half a dozen of the other
as long as my dinner's on the table at half 7 I don't give a shit what he calls me :D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:03, archived)
# nope, in my dictionary that's "friend"
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:04, archived)
# don't people have mutual respect?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:03, archived)
# Sigh, tough crowd.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:04, archived)
# With each comment you show more and more
your naivety when it comes to relationships :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:05, archived)
# ^this
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:06, archived)
# im begining to think i just shouldn't bother.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:06, archived)
# What?
Did you think there was no price to pay for regular action?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:08, archived)
# surely you should at least like each other and get along.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:11, archived)
# Ideally, yeah.
But one or the other always wields the power :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:12, archived)
# hahahahahahhahaha!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:12, archived)
# ^
Warm and wet orifices to be paid for in

-listening to our whining
-fetching us tissue when we cry
-knowing what we want at least 10 minutes before we do
-chocolate cake
-quavers
-congratulating us for completing games on the ps3
-reaching things
-opening things
-squashing things
-mending things
-programming things
-finding things we only just put down a minute ago.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:12, archived)
# agile tounge to be paid for with:
not being a completely childish pain in the arse.

The rest I'm cool with,
-I can listen to whining all day, I have to listen to my own too, you know.
-yep I always have tissues around.
-of course, I can even convince of you what you want.
-can bake it
-yup and semiquavers, and rests and crochets...
-you have a ps3? SCORE!!
-im taller than average
-yep, got an opener on my keyring
-i'm heavy enough, i'll just sit on it
-yeah, had 20 years training
-MATLAB, FORTRAN, BASIC. and a tiny amount of C
-probably can manage that.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:18, archived)
# set fire to the place, let it burn to the ground, die, and then see how sorry that bitch is!!
EDIT: disclaimer: this may be a little extreme and the wording could be considered offensive, but it's all for comedic effect.
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:58, archived)
# that'll show her!
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:59, archived)
# Or just smear shit on the walls and wank furiously all over her clothes
There are few better ways to say "I love you"
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)
# its my house though...
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:02, archived)
# Sit at home and do absolutely nothing
except watch shit TV, play xBox, surf b3ta and watch chocolate.

Guaranteed to piss of any girlfriend in the world....

(Well, mine anyway)
(I helped save b3ta! Ril3y is a brit abroad.. bring on the Stella / Asahi, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:05, archived)
# I LOVE watching chocolate.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:05, archived)
# me too...
note to self, always read post before clicking post...
(I helped save b3ta! Ril3y is a brit abroad.. bring on the Stella / Asahi, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:07, archived)
# thats what i do anyway.....
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:12, archived)
# Climb out a window
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:03, archived)
# Good advice,
provided he doesnt live on the 10th floor of a block of flats :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:11, archived)
# Ive climbed out of loads of windows after getting locked into houses, its easy :D
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:16, archived)