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just when you thought you'd seen it all...

..monkeys pissing on cars!

(pissycocks GIRAFFETASTIC!, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:16, archived)

it's a bit of

a golden day for the board today - there's been loads of brilliant stuff.
The web shall be saved!

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:18, archived)

i take it you did

mean a golden shower day.
sorry.
Goddamn, I'm obvious.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:22, archived)

Pep. I thought you prefered scat.

There is something about you which is more brown than yellow.

(

rob, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:31, archived)

only with you

sweetheart, you know that. x

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:37, archived)

Have we switched over to

darkside b3ta here?

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:38, archived)

you didn't get upto anything

last night then?
no?

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:42, archived)

who? moi?

I stayed in last night and slept.

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:52, archived)

so you say...

but i know different.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:55, archived)

or so you think

who can you believe though?

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:58, archived)

i saw those polaroids

young man.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 12:00, archived)

and the camera

never lies...

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 12:01, archived)

this one was made my Jesus

it couldn't lie

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 12:05, archived)

Was Jesus there too?

I *was* pissed.

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 12:06, archived)

jesus

is *always* there.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 12:28, archived)

I was just discussing

motorised chess with trained animals on segways for the pieces. James Meers suggested this as a piece:

Anyone want to get a set together? They'd sell well over christmas I reckon.

Here's some instructions for echidna eating

(

crab_bloke), Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:06, archived)

I've just seen Sorgboi's ant

Please make more animals in this style, as that's the best gif I've seen in ages. Make us a web zoo. With working feeding times.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:00, archived)

yeah! A web zoo

would rock!

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:05, archived)

flipflopflyin

has one - but I think this ant has it's own style too which is great.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:09, archived)

I've been thinking

about a shape farm, a bit like this

is it a good idea? think I should do it properly? what shape animals should there be? does anyone want to make shape animals for the shape farm?

(

crab_bloke), Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:44, archived)

it's like b3ta

sesame street.!

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:53, archived)

Was going to add a crab

But didn't really have to.

(Carpworld, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:44, archived)

balls!

bastard angelfire.

(Carpworld, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:46, archived)

oh.

It did work.

(Carpworld, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:47, archived)

it didn't, it's probably in your cache.

(

PeterSeychelles, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:50, archived)

This

Is what I meant.

(Carpworld, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:57, archived)

reminds me of that woman

doing that which someone animated.

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 12:04, archived)

eugh!

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:36, archived)

worlds smallest cat?

or just a big cup - you decide.

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:35, archived)

odd. we just had a fight

about Starbucks and decided it was just too far to go (3 min walk) and the sweetshop was nearer. So no coffee, but more sweets.
I would like that cup to be giant, here, full of coffee, no sugar, and with an enormous straw.
Can you get one for rob too - an Americano with a vanilla shot.

Thanks for that.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:44, archived)

I work next to Pret-a-munger (the fish branch of the popular sandwich chain) they do coffee - I will ask the car if I can borrow his mug.

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:54, archived)

fantastic.

thankyou.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:00, archived)

can I have an all day breakfast sandwich

while you're there?-

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:04, archived)

the ones

they have at Pret-a-munger have kipper, egg and roe. Do you still want one?

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:11, archived)

mmmm!

Like a kedgeree sarnie.
Now there's an idea.
Yes please.

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:17, archived)

oooh, send us round a

nice kipper, love.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:18, archived)

Lost and found

Doesn't really live up to expectations, but if you lose your clothes in Alabama it could be useful.

You never know...

[It also has all sorts of good language options. And a nice story about a dog.]

(

mrbrong, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:11, archived)

and this

see www.b3ta.com/board/1000

(Kieren, Mon 19 Aug 2002, 2:38, archived)

(

Baz Fuck off, Mon 29 Sep 2003, 0:50, archived)

this is a truly

wonderful site
here

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:09, archived)

Hurray for mulligan

Hurray for butterflies
Hurray for words that don't quite rhy-me

(

mrbrong, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:17, archived)

That;s odd

Because I too love flutter byes

(

Ted, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:26, archived)

You can celebrate them with these lovely handcrafted waistcoats

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:39, archived)

Hairy Shoes

My dad just sent me this - it's a contribution to a discussion group in Pakistan on the wisdom or otherwise of nuclear weapons.

"1687 Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported: Allah's
Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: The Last Hour would not come
untill you fight with people whose faces are like hammered shields
and the Last Hour would not come until you would fight against those
wearing the shoes of hair."

So there you go. Avoid run-ins with people with hairy shoes and we'll live for ever. Hoorah!

(

crab_bloke), Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:35, archived)

a G.I.S. for "hairy shoes"

returns this oddity entitled Hairy Crab for 3. Quite.

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:39, archived)

Is that the hairy crab

on the left?

(

PeterSeychelles, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:42, archived)

that's utterly fantasic.

Being a Muslim means that you speak in long sentances i think.
Have you seen the mini you down the board a bit, flying into space in your crab outfit? You look cool. hows yer head by the way?

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:48, archived)

the rocket me

is the best thing I have ever seen. I am lit up like a lantern of purest joy. My head's not too bad, despite Andy K's bad influence last night, but my medicine says it might make me want to kill myself, which I think is a bit disturbing.

(

crab_bloke), Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:21, archived)

My bad influence?

pah. I was sober as anything. I was led astray. I blame pep.
It's better than your medicine trying to kill you though.

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:27, archived)

me! I did nothing. Merely suggested

a leg/elastic situation. I didn't intent Crab bloke to try and kill himself with the cunning device.
We should go out again - I will try and be on better form, and naturally, drink you all under the table, where no doubt you will find lost things, like odd socks and 2p pieces.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:33, archived)

yes!

let's do it again, but bigger and better, and I could have my elasticated-leg-full-body-crab-suit and everything would be just wonderful and there would probably be butterflies too like in mulligan wouldn't that be luvly *gasp*

(

crab_bloke), Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:39, archived)

I think the one thing I can't

think about right now is alcohol. That's just going to make me whine and cry like a baby.
We need an army of finger crabs to accompany the whole-body elasticated one.
BTW, did someone mention get stuffed earlier? Do they have a polar bear in there?

(

AndyK, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:42, archived)

blimey

I did leave in the nick of time. I have no hangover and my eyes are shining like things of radiant beauty.
So brightly i used the glint in them like a lazer to cure somones cataracts accross the street.
hoorah.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:48, archived)

satans own slippers!

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:55, archived)

go on...

someone make them dance - they're practically doing it already.
I would but I'm damn lazy and about to get my head kicked in for being on here for too long.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:59, archived)

im glad

someone elses' dad sends weird stuff. Mine once sent a postcard from holiday telling me about how rubbish the local radio DJ was.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:03, archived)

and mine emails me from holiday

on his damn laptop. Which he should really leave at home. Fool fool man.

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:10, archived)

If B3TA were LEGO

http://www.geocities.com/legobothq/ugly.htm

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:21, archived)

oooh, the joy

of geocities... the links busted...

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:37, archived)

Hmm strange

I just checked again and like you say, it doesnt work, then checked my cache and it was fine there so guess they must have literally just taken it down. Ah well, what would Rick Parfitt say in a situation like this I wonder.

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:41, archived)

they automatically take stuff down

if it goes over it's bandwidth limit. it'll be back.

(

rob, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:49, archived)

it works

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:41, archived)

NO! Bad Aborigini

Aboriginal recipe:

Cover dead echidna in mud then bake in hot coals. Discard the shell of mud, simultaneously removing the quills. Enjoy chicken-like flesh.

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:16, archived)

.....

maybe this is a little too lame.. haha :D

(alky, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:07, archived)

I like it

a lo'

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:13, archived)

yea

me too.. he might need a bigger rod tho (no pun intended)

(sorgboi, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:33, archived)

or perhaps

bass in the plaice, london

(cue tumbleweed)

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 11:17, archived)

Is that an echidna foetus

she's feeding that otter?

(Carpworld, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:04, archived)

probably

evil looking bitch, looks like she sellotapes her lips back

(

wangolini, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:10, archived)

she has a hint...

of tony blair in drag about her, not something i ever wished to see really.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:12, archived)

SIMPLE EQUATION

Echidna = Food

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:16, archived)

Fire?

Any one know anything about a fire in South London, lots of smoke apparently.

(

PeterSeychelles, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:56, archived)

Brixton

rasta-fest 2001?

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:59, archived)

they have come

the tripods are here

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:01, archived)

whoops

just smacked my face into a window having a look...

anyway cant see anything

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:01, archived)

that cos of the smoke?

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:09, archived)

its like this out there i tell ya

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:17, archived)

you in brixton

then?

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:16, archived)

no just a very tall building...

on the northbank, i figured if something apocalyptic had taken place, i might have a good chance of seeing it from up here.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:29, archived)

I just checked

out the window here and there is a big fire with news helicopters and stuff over by what looks like wapping.

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:34, archived)

It's

a builders yard near wapping tube

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:39, archived)

Does this help?

http://www.skynews.co.uk/skynews/article/0,,30000-1037515,00.html

(

mrbrong, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:40, archived)

Some sort of gas cannister explosion

type thing, yes in Wapping.

(

PeterSeychelles, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:40, archived)

WEBCAM

go here and check the tower bridge one, its getting mighty dark out there http://www.sky.com/skynews/webcams

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:55, archived)

Builders yard

with asphalt and propane cylinders in it apparently.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_467081.html

(

chthonic, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:46, archived)

Ohhh Milky milky

What does a carton of milk smell like after you've left it under your sofa for three months?????

LOVELY....

(

Ted, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:45, archived)

to this date

Milk Explosion is still the best name. It is more than a name, it is an incredible thought. I would love to see a milk explosion.

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:25, archived)

almost there...

http://newton.dep.anl.gov/askasci/chem99/chem99282.htm

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:26, archived)

yes but

no pics

www.logan.k12.nj.us/HomePages/Price/funscience.htm

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:27, archived)

I think I have

stumbled into something great:

communities.msn.co.uk/OtterButterersOfTheWorldUnite/utterlybutterlyparty.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=34

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:28, archived)

it's sites like that

that prompted the inventon of the word "YAY!"

YAY!

The message board is brilliant by the way.

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:41, archived)

reminds me of the one thing..

..that keeps me laughing every 30 seconds like a fucking idiot.

"I can't believe it's not Yatta!"

(sorgboi, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:47, archived)

ooooh!

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:28, archived)

ooohhh

YES!

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:29, archived)

More Cress

Whilst searching for more cress for Joel's head, I came across Ricky Cress who is wanted for 1st Degree murder in Colorado....I'm sure he's hiding under my desk and I'm getting slightly scared.

(

Ted, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:10, archived)

i wonder

what he killed

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:11, archived)

I think it was this

which i found when looking for cress...

(bastardizor, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:13, archived)

Whoever

drew that monsta must have been eating my special cress.

(

Ted, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:24, archived)

Are you sure it wasnt this -

remember these?!

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:26, archived)

Tripods

the best ever TV show to follow Dr Who.

(Esteban, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:30, archived)

they would capture you

and put girly hair clips in your hair and make you wander around while they fired their green laser beams. wankers.

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:38, archived)

How could we forget?

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:46, archived)

Or these cress

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:53, archived)

thats

the still and explanation from the sequence out of pink floyds movie the wall - hahaha

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:02, archived)

Quick get a metal frisbee thing.

(anat0010, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:09, archived)

I heard that

they only made 3 triffids and all the rest were cardboard cutouts.

(

PeterSeychelles, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:11, archived)

yeah

well you heard wrong bozo cos the tripods are real y'hear me theyre fucking real alright?

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:15, archived)

There's one

rattling behind me right now.

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:20, archived)

you

are screwed mate. your days are numbered. tripods and triffids combined are a deadly combination

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:23, archived)

I'll be safe

my disk firing gun will save me.

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:30, archived)

Im sorry Peter

I just get tetchy when surrounded by triffids and tripods. Theyre no picnic.

(Man In A Suitcase, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:37, archived)

I understand perfectly

I've got Cybermen on my patch at the minute. It can get a bit stressful if you forget your magnet.

(

PeterSeychelles, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:50, archived)

well thank goodness for that

They were difficult buggers if they escaped from their farms. Keep their numbers down, thats what I say.

(anat0010, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:20, archived)

I've got one of these.

It takes out a triffid at 60 paces.

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:24, archived)

I found

this cress. I want to take part in some social simulation.

(james, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:21, archived)

Joel vs Cress

Joel vs Cress, commentated by Rev. Joel Cress. The crowd go wild as Joel jumps in front...

(sorgboi, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:45, archived)

mini flying Joel rocks!

I put him on the front page. Hoorah!

(

pep, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 9:44, archived)

it's beautiful

i am practically in tears with the joy of it

(

crab_bloke), Thu 6 Dec 2001, 10:19, archived)

absolute bastrds...

www.surfsafe2001.com

god i feel so sorry for kids these days, my god, some poor kid out there is going to have to explain to their parents some pretty sharky things.

eurgh!

(Zannusi-Beatz, Thu 6 Dec 2001, 8:03, archived)

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