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# new piccy (via stan shepherd)


he says, "I'm not entirely sure how to go about sending stuff, as I'm quite new to
this computer game, anyway here is a photograph of the Peter guy who appears
on your notice board. I think I've made the most of him."
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 13:45, archived)
# and another (via the same chappy)


he says, "Hello, its me 'Fishinsect' again. I just sent you a photo of Pete
'sexcarrot in a warehouse, with illfitting shoes' a short while ago.
Heres another."
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 14:25, archived)
# Look at those pupils........
im pretty sure i could hazard a guess at what hes been smoking.
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 14:37, archived)
# mackerel
of course.
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 14:38, archived)
# Scary Lemon slices
The scurge of seafood.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 14:57, archived)
# lets
boycott lemons on seafood. im sure they cant ignore such an act. soon our voice shall be heard loud and clear....oh yes. tha riot be tha ryhme of tha unheard........or something
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 15:44, archived)
# Iain of XFM says
"well, it's official.that's the most poular website of the day EVER."

i.e. the most that generated the most email requests for him.

woo.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 13:11, archived)
# That's cos you rock =)
Time will come when XFM will be saying "woo! we got a mention on b3ta.com today!"

First prize.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 14:18, archived)
# ahhh john luke !
All hands abandon ship
(I helped save b3ta! hal9000 sme, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:49, archived)
# Not another transporter accident?
They should know not to beam animals and people at the same time...
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 12:40, archived)
# OMG!!
Uncle Fred????
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 17:44, archived)
# this chap looks a bit strange...
needs to be photoshopped



He has a good bit on his site about making paper aeroplanes though...
(bastardizor, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:17, archived)
# the site being
http://www.geocities.com/peterkunzmann/paperaeroplaneworld.html
(bastardizor, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:17, archived)
# bastard geocities!!!!
(bastardizor, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:22, archived)
# he is
all wrong. What is he looking at? I think we should all draw what we imagine him to be gazing at off camera.
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:25, archived)
# i think he is looking at
this

(bastardizor, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:27, archived)
# it's obviously this
the devil told me so
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:47, archived)
# It's obviously because
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 13:01, archived)
# guess what i was just watchin?
(I helped save b3ta! hal9000 sme, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 13:03, archived)
# if that
dont deserve a blue peter badge nothing does
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 13:24, archived)
# Did you know?
It's National Sausage Week? Here we are having a variety of fun sausage orientated activites.

Apparently "If your feeling peckish and fancy a fat juicy one then pay the restaurant a visit – specialty sausage dishes will be on sale all week (a contribution will go to CF". Have they not heard of Finbarr Saunders?
(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:40, archived)
# now
I had some *lovely* venison sausages from Greenwich the other day.
You don't care. But I did. Yum.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:52, archived)
# that will be venison
from the herd of deer tethered next to the Cutty Sark. Apparently they're let out at low tide to graze on rocks, shopping trolleys and broken glass on the river shore, contributing to their distinctive (but not unpleasant) taste.
(I helped save b3ta! automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:16, archived)
# Very flat
Cthonic didn't you have a mate who looked after a very flat surface? Only the under side of these Lincoln biscuits are very flat and I would like to compare them.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:26, archived)
# in quantum
physics there is the notion of something so flat that it is onlt one sided. The underside is also the top side and it has no edges at all.
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:45, archived)
# that really is
remarkably flat. I feel it may be a somewhat disappointing property in a biscuit though.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:58, archived)
# not if you could make a material out of it
You could then stick to the bottom and have a perfectly flat underside of biscuit. You could also wrap stones in this wonder material for perfect skimming...
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:04, archived)
# Epic
That would be ideal for building sheds on. I helped build a shed yesterday and that would have been really handy.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:07, archived)
# You know, that at once sound familiar
but also has me at a total loss as to who it could be.

Probably someone else was talking about it.
I can run you up a quick virtual surface - those are pretty flat unless you accidently leave 'bump map' turned on.
Then it would look like the _other_ side of a lincoln biscuit.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:11, archived)
# Two possible ways forward
You pretend that you really did have said mate and I will carry on in my deluded little world. Perhaps you know someone with a piece of formica, that's fairly flat. Or we track this bloke down, I'll ask aorund the pub next time I'm there.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 15:11, archived)
# if this is what the kids look like...


I want to join their family
(bastardizor, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:06, archived)
# Wow...What A Weekend....
Ladies and Gents may I introduce you to my new wonderful wife


Her name is Dwayne.
(Man In A Suitcase, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:58, archived)
# hiding
that's very very scary.

I'm hiding under my desk now.
(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:01, archived)
# oooooh
She's very pretty, does she sleep in her cage okay?
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:28, archived)
# *weep*
She used to be mine, but alas I let her slip away from me.

Say hello from me, and give her a banana, she likes bananas.

*sniff*
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 12:47, archived)
# onomatopia - Exits the freeways wisted like knots on the fingers


He`s called Bird ...
(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:55, archived)
# sheesh.
I never realised quite how tough Flash was. Oh well. It was a good way of spending some time. Here is my first ever flash attempt.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:30, archived)
# well done
cool.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:44, archived)
# Yay
hooray for the A-Team. that's lovely andy- i'm very very excited to see you applying your talents to flash too- don't worry, it gets dead easy after a while.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:57, archived)
# woo
I like the stealthy crim look to the polar bear.

[sad carping: I thought polar bears and penguins occupied opposite poles?]
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:07, archived)
# That's just
what polar bears want penguins to think.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:13, archived)
# As I understand it
they commute from Poland, where they spend the evenings sitting atop tall poles.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:23, archived)
# indeed that is correct
I once saw a whole boatload of them stowed away from Poland.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:52, archived)
# woo - xfm website of the day again
Davros & Hawking is
'the eighth wonder of the world'
apparently.

yee ha!
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:16, archived)
# b3ta rocks
I love davros. It should be released in time to be christmas number one.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:23, archived)
# apperently the XFM DJ is an ex-member of EMF
But anyway. Woo.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:30, archived)
# hmm - he's not the one
with the lemons party trick, is he?
He was a fan of Citrus Sheep afterall...
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:36, archived)
# dunno. that was zak... wasn't it?
a friend of mine said the DJ was the keyboard player in EMF. But the names don't seem to match. hmmm...
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:41, archived)
# you should make a
flash video for an emf song and see what happens....
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:43, archived)
# Unbelievable ...
... with a animated remakes of horrid web rumours? like the dead baby? And the tourist man?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:48, archived)
# another one of them used to be in Jesus Jones and Utah Saints, apparently.
.
(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:46, archived)
# bugger. that's right.
Iain Baker was in Jesus Jones - not EMF. Ooops.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:56, archived)
# Funny you should say that. Me & Joel have had an idea for b3ta xmas special
and we need your help.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:32, archived)
# Yippee!
Will it involve mince pies and mulled wine?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:39, archived)
# "We are the Web" to the tune of "We are the World"
over midi... with people from the message board sending in WAV files of their singing... all horridly animated onto crabs heads...

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:43, archived)
# oooh
In the style of that BBC2 Perfect day thing? You could get people to send in their own crabs too.
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:44, archived)
# exactly!
you've got it.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:46, archived)
# cool!
look
here
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:49, archived)
# Smart
b3ta's will be much better. Will you have pics of everyone on the crabs heads? I have some lovely one of nicey...
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:10, archived)
# dunno... open to other song ideas
er
like a bridge over troubled water ?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:23, archived)
# this is pure genius
I am up for involvement. I will definately help in any way possible.
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:52, archived)
# Something by Simply Red?
Yeah, count me in! I want to be a crab.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 12:11, archived)
# "Do they know its christmas time"
Dedicated to the Taliban :-)
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 13:20, archived)
# my...
....goodness! that just sounds. erm. wow.
great idea!
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:48, archived)
# you are famous!
don't forget us when hollywood calls...
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:35, archived)
# what suprised this baby?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:55, archived)
# Superbaby?
Has it just swallowed a dinosaur?
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:11, archived)
# it was
looking for the whiskey and found SuperCroc instead.
(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:11, archived)
# this 2 min PSP picture perhaps?
babysup (23k image)
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:13, archived)
# He's looking in the mirror
Aaaargh, I seem to have turned up in an Aha video! Save me!
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:29, archived)
# "It Ate Dinosaurs"
That frog better watch out for SUPERCROC

(Man In A Suitcase, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 7:18, archived)
# he reminds me of prawnzilla
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 7:52, archived)
# he reminds me of my mum!
sulsmum (20k image)

god! that takes me back
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 7:56, archived)
# Prawnzilla lives
In our drinks cupboard, protecting our whiskey and port. Perhaps thats what they'll do with matey.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:08, archived)
# You keep your Matey®
in your drinks cupboard?
Whoo some cocktails you'd get with that stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:29, archived)
# Ahh Matey
I was always a bit jealous that I was too old for that but I have kids now, and as such have a licence to purchase Matey, must see if you can still get it.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:54, archived)
# You're never too old for a Matey.
And you can still get it, I'm sure.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 16:28, archived)
# doctor please help me stop these headaches


(I helped save b3ta! automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:34, archived)
# pheasants feet
we used to do that to pheasants feet when I was wee laddy - you pull the tendons or ligaments or which ever and their feet open and close.

and yes, they were seperated from the pheasant. and not by me.
(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:44, archived)
# someone stop him
before he eats the baby
(I helped save b3ta! automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:29, archived)
# i think...
...we may be too late. :(
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:55, archived)
# No! Stop now!
I'm very, very scared!
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 6:13, archived)
# Andy,
once again I am awe-struck
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 29 Oct 2001, 6:25, archived)
# That's a lovely cummfy chair
He wants to ge a nice slice of that Genoa fruit cake with the cherrys in it and a nice cup of tea. That would be much better than eating babies.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 7:27, archived)
# yum yum
tasty baby.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 7:29, archived)
# my god


I wish I never searched for "eating babies" on Google
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:30, archived)
# japaense art project
if I remember correctly.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:34, archived)
# really?
tell me more.
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:38, archived)
# Oops. It was a Chinese artists.
The man in the photo is Chinese artist Zhu Yu, who performed a conceptual piece called "Eating People" at a Shanghai arts festival in 2000.

more here.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:52, archived)
# oh
I am such a fool. I am glad the Chinese man did not eat a real baby.
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:57, archived)
# try this google search
here - the stuff it threw up kept me occupied for a while.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:08, archived)
# No no no
Tea and biscuits, is what you want you deluded chinese man. You see I'm going to have a nice Lincoln biscuit and some tea now, doesn't that sound nice?
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 8:59, archived)
# Did you find iced Sport biscuits?
We saw Iced Rings in the supermarket (oh-err) yesterday, and even bought some for tea.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:10, archived)
# Is this Frank Skinner?
Half man half....

(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:25, archived)
# Is he _the_ gay predator?
Sure I saw him being interviewed on NewsRound or Blue Peter when I was a kid.

He lives on an island up in Scotland.
(he sits on a rock high above the savannah, watching the wildebeeste roam.
Then he strikes...)
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:34, archived)
# he is a hermit
apparently he covered himself in tattooed leopard spots and then hid on an island cos everyone stared at him.

Hello?
(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:38, archived)
# It would be good if the bin men
all looked liked him. That would make bin day sort of paranormal.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 7:04, archived)
# he'd be
a camoflaged bin man, creeping sylph-like through the suburban gardens.

(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 7:33, archived)
# I wish I was a film extra
I'm busy watching some muppets in
puffa jackets filming outside my office
and the extras are really milking it. They're all
dressed in '30s suits and hats
and are supposed to be commuters
walking to work, but some are really walking slowly
so that they are in shot more.

We're watching from the curtains - as I type we just got shouted at
and told to stay back from the windows - wondering what
we can stick in the window.

Candidates so far:
1) green plastic M&M dispenser
2) Bayern Munich supporters jacket
3) Comedy halloween mask & axe.

The floor is open
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:35, archived)
# big colour printout
of the b3ta frog
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:37, archived)
# great Idea
with the URL on it somewhere, hows that for advertising.
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:48, archived)
# Christ - Product Placement
They should be paying us.

I'll see what I can do. Currently our window is miles from the camera so it'd be too small to read, but tonight they are filming in our hallway.

Pity they haven't got any wartime posters up - period is a bit early for that
or I could have substituted one of the B3ta land girls.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:52, archived)
# Put it up anyway
What' the difference in a decade or so anyway...
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:05, archived)
# you could hold a big magnet out the window
so the sound messes up.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:53, archived)
# keep blowing on a dog whistle
so that when it gets played at the cinema, dogs savage the audience.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:00, archived)
# drop cheap
casio digital watches and other inexpensive modernity out of the window so that it ruins the 30s feel
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:06, archived)
# find a big
picture of michael winner and stick it up there. He will make sure the shoot goes well and bring fame and fortune to all those involved.
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:55, archived)
# white guys with handles for ears
a large dummy of a cyberman from Dr Who will add to that 30's feel.
(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:01, archived)
# Where is your office
Can we all come and play?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:11, archived)
# Fitzroy Square
(North end of Tottenham Court Road)

Big scary bouncer types keeping people off set though :)
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:28, archived)
# Shame
Too far from here...
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:52, archived)
# you could
lean out of the window with a head made out of a balloon which you blow up to bursting point when the window opens so it looks like your office is a space station, the film is set on mars and 30s hats are NASA future designs. Thus the head blowing up would be very Total Recall.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:14, archived)
# Laminate flooring and decking
Will drag it into the twenty first century. Whip up a quick balcony.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:36, archived)
# You could
just urinate out of the window onto everyone below, thus causing them to stink of piss all day, like most people from 1930 do these days.
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 6:07, archived)
# get
one of those remote controlled helium ballon/airship/ufos, and make it fly into shot then back into the air again, with a banner with the b3ta url trailing after it.
(Zannusi-Beatz, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 6:09, archived)
# I've got one of those somewhere
it was the most fantastic toy. must dig it out again one day.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 29 Oct 2001, 11:02, archived)
# Small Boys
What about leaving a small boy slightly hidden by a curtain...preferably the ghost of one who died whilst the building was being built in an horrific freak accident.
(troutman, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:26, archived)
# whhhyyyyyy
monday whhhyyyyyy
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 3:33, archived)
# i came back to this email off of client
"Basically I am very disappointed by your efforts."

Monday - yeah. If anyone can find pictures of animals wearing make up that would be good.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 3:58, archived)
# hmmm
thats a strange request off a client
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:10, archived)
# i think the site shall get an
ind3x.html
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:14, archived)
# do it!
'cause chaos.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:22, archived)
# nice once
keep this trend people !! i had to remove mine when i realised it showed up on the server logs which i was looking at for some weird 404s
(I helped save b3ta! hal9000 sme, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:22, archived)
# what is
an ind3x.html ? Whyyyyy?
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:58, archived)
# it's about putting weird files on your clients server
with mucked up animal images in them that link to b3ta.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 5:17, archived)
# ahhhh I see.
Maybe I can get one on cw360.com - he he.
(Esteban, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 6:13, archived)
# like this?
http://www.enteract.com/~tert/scat/IND3X.html
(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 7:57, archived)
# what's the full story behind that then?
what had you done with his face?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 9:12, archived)
# i have
absolutely no idea - it turned up in a google for ind3x.html
(james, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 10:19, archived)
# i take it...
... this wouldn't count?
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:41, archived)
# meanwhile at the Max Factor board meeting
...so to cut a long story short we cant test on animals anymore, but not to worry, we have a solution, desperate students.
(Sul, Mon 29 Oct 2001, 4:53, archived)

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