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i'd like you to meet Clambeard.

so much more than just a friend.

(que, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:56, archived)

you everv seen the video

for "kiss me where it smells funny" by the bloodhound gang? it opoens with a muppet-like bearded clam, its fucking cool.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:02, archived)

that's my lover

you're calling muppet-like!

(que, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:19, archived)

tell my wife i love her helmet very much

did anyone hear mark and lard about twenty minutes ago? fucking brilliant edited version of 'space oddity'. funniest thing i have heard in ages.

ps. just been looking back through the weekends archive - "they are happy because they swim in shit" was fantastic, and hedley really seems like a lovely man.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:52, archived)

have you heard....

the albums that they released as The ShireHorses - very funny stuff

(

raw-edge, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:55, archived)

i have the first one

on which the line "he's not in the garden.... or in the bedroom with a hard-on" still always makes me laugh.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:56, archived)

Oh I beg Your pardon, Joes F*cked off

is the next bit of that line i think...i got both them as presents, really funny stuff

(

raw-edge, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:59, archived)

sheer fucking genius

anyone who hears "blitzkrieg bop" and thinks to chnage it to "joe's fucked off" has to be a genius.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:01, archived)

mark and lard...

skinning the competition Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive

:)

(Andyboy_H, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:11, archived)

...

but will of course be better when they get sacked and move to radio 6 where they can play the sort of music they used to.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:13, archived)

theres a radio 6?

and whats with this bbc4 stuff? what about 3?

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:15, archived)

has anyone been listening

to radio 6? anyone got a digital radio or have you been listening to it on internet or digital tv

(

raw-edge, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:16, archived)

a day late...

Well done the london runners (except the twats that did it in fancy dress)

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:45, archived)

lo effin L

tops

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:46, archived)

Thats just

dastardly

(thediscokingpin, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:47, archived)

nice

i can hear his canine sidekick chuckling when i look at this.

(que, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:50, archived)

WOOOOOO!

For my 2000th post!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:45, archived)

GEE-KNEE-US

pure gee-knee-us lump, very well done old chap

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:48, archived)

2000?

that's a lot. what do you do for a living sir?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:56, archived)

between posts on b3ta

I am a software engineer. But i'm between projects atm, so muchos free time.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:57, archived)

for whom do you work, sir?

... and what are your qualifications?

I ask because i want out of my relative ad-development hell and into software-development hell. The moneys better, i hear.

(KingMob, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 15:34, archived)

maybe this is why they can't find him

Someone must have done this already??

(Stu_Woody, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:39, archived)

mr kimble

did do that
www.kimble.org

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:44, archived)

couldn't find the pic

Is there anything he didn't do (apart from diet)?

(Stu_Woody, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:48, archived)

think it must of been

taken off, he was offering millions pund rewards as a publicity stunt for 'the laden'

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:50, archived)

woo

"There are only 10 types of people in the world - Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

(

rosey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:38, archived)

ta ta ta

boom!

(

pep, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:38, archived)

I like that.

I like it a lot.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:42, archived)

me too

fantastic nerd joke.

(

rob, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:43, archived)

I feel all sad and geeky...

That made me laugh

(

Mrfishfinger .com, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:43, archived)

don't feel sad

we are all powerful, and one day the whole world will love and fear us as the true and righteous rulers of just about everything

(

spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:50, archived)

i dont get

it :(

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:46, archived)

Binary

is just using ones and zeros. And I ain't any sort of geek.

(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:51, archived)

i got that bit,

i didnt get the ten types of people , ? unless its like
ten copycats in a boat one jumps out

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:53, archived)

and guess what

10 binary is in decimal...

(oh, and you won't find it at all funny now its been explained...)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:54, archived)

speedy

on that, i feel stupid and ashamed

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:17, archived)

if you made that up,

well done. thats fucking brilliant.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:53, archived)

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:37, archived)

eggs

cell
ent

well it looks like i'm coming up on friday as well!!! yay! i get to meet crab bloke!! =)

(redifusion, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:39, archived)

woo

it looks like there's going to be a fair old gang of us. hoorah!

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:45, archived)

..................

(redifusion, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:50, archived)

this is for those of you who missed this on friday

Now we can b3ta EVERYTHING!

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:36, archived)

it's cool

and I'm putting it in fridays newsletter. BTW: we are now 11,669 subs.. so anything that gets in it is likely to be seen by a fair few people. Woo hoo.

(

rob, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:39, archived)

bonza!

pity you and luce buggered off on friday tho - things got pretty surreal :)

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:40, archived)

I saw the photos ...

... anyway - Lucy was worried about her Mum. She's got a lump in her breast, and having tests & stuff. Not happy.

(

rob, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:43, archived)

shit thats not good.

my mum went thru the same (all good in the end tho)..
Well, give lucy my best, and im sure things will be fine.

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:46, archived)

Mine too,

much better now.

(

PeterSeychelles, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:49, archived)

try putting

b3ta through that thing, its crazy

(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:40, archived)

it is a bit

MadMich has being playing with it.. i'd better tone it down. Sod.

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:41, archived)

ah, toned it down a bit

thats better.

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:45, archived)

aghh

sorry about that giant file i posted earlier. must have forgotten to save it after
resizing. a stupid fuckhead am I? yea verily. apologies

(que, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:33, archived)

Thats ok

You can make up for it by doing a funny hedley pic.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:34, archived)

Me and my bird...

[ Clicky to my B3ta stuff in a new window ]

(

Mrfishfinger .com, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:32, archived)

I do like

breasts.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:33, archived)

Breasts

would have to be quite high in my top ten list of best things ever invented.

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:39, archived)

Yes.

Hooray for breasts.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:43, archived)

i miss having a bird.

playing with my own tits isn't as fun, because i am a boy.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:55, archived)

don't

you're going to make me cry.

/lonelybucket

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:58, archived)

i am very lonely.

this is my 350th message.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:05, archived)

well, you know,

playing with your own breasts is less fun for girls too.

I already have someone to do it for me though.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:04, archived)

If I was a girl

and I had breasts, I wouldn't leave the house :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:06, archived)

if i became a girl right now,and i was hot (which i would be)

i would walk around nude all the time.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:10, archived)

Yep.

And I would invest in lots of big mirrors.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:18, archived)

If I was girl and I had breasts

I'd buy a tight top, a big mirror and one of those mini trampolines..... nice

(

Mrfishfinger .com, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:14, archived)

I'm sure none of you will be offended

if I tell you I'm sitting here giggling at you all a lot.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:17, archived)

thats alright,

i'm wanking.

i need to grow the fuck up.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:19, archived)

Come on

we're blokes. You should understand what sort of effect breasts have on us.

We can't help it, they're lovely! :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:20, archived)

And that's why

god didn't give men breasts - the world would grind to a standstill.

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:22, archived)

You must be

picturing the trampoline scenario.

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:20, archived)

girls play with their breasts all the time

..and each others. and they kiss each other with tongues a lot.

either that or my dreams are full of lies.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:08, archived)

No, it must be true

because my dreams agree :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:09, archived)

so do my sheets

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:12, archived)

I don't

believe you. (The bit about it being less fun if girls do it to themselves)

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:12, archived)

obviously they'd enjoy it more

if it was me doing it to them

but you try telling a girl that....

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:14, archived)

I don't think you're making them feel any better

....

(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:18, archived)

got any pictures of yourself naked?

no?

wanna buy some?

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:21, archived)

EEk!

(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:26, archived)

the old ones are the best.

jokes, not breasts.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:27, archived)

How can breasts possibly

feel any better?

I love the feel of breasts :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:21, archived)

fuck damn fuck

i need a chick.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:24, archived)

Nyaaaah

You just need sex. Women make you take them shopping and do DIY and stuff. I spent the weekend defrosting the fridge, tidying the garden and buying groceries. And no sex because she's on the blob!!!

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:27, archived)

Hey! I got forced to Sainsbury's and shoe shopping

by my b/f, and he voluntarily cleaned the bathroom.

And if that's your take on it why you got a g/f in the first place?

okay, rant over. It was 'on the blob' that pissed my off, its a horrible phrase.
:)

(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:29, archived)

beware crude snooker analogy

if the red's blocking the pink, sink the brown

/crude snooker analogy

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:31, archived)

Sorry,

I guess I knew the reaction it would provoke. She is suffering terribly, the poor thing.
And I have the g/f because although she can be a demanding, selfish, irrational, massive pain in the arse I love her dearly and would be a lot less cheerful without her. Oh and she lets me play with her breasts lots.

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:34, archived)

'kay, I'll let you off.

But just so you know, I am a girl who is not irrational, demanding or selfish (or not much anyway), just so you know we're out there.

My b/f is very proud of me for that :)

(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:43, archived)

Its times like that when

you need to ask to play the cheese lottery

(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:30, archived)

His bird

really does look like that.

V.nice.

(thediscokingpin, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:39, archived)

CRAB BLOKE!

What's the name of the last song in Blode 4?

I.. h-have... urges... I... m-must... d-d-download!

(TuffPirat, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:24, archived)

Bad Company - The Tumpa

It's fantastic innit.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:38, archived)

Bad Company

rocks. I really like the choons in the Blode anims. More d'n'b in cute cartoons!

(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:42, archived)

thnx

really thanx man!

(TuffPirat, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:46, archived)

Oh dear.....

Eric Von Daniken (loony author of "Chariots of the Gods" and someone who believes that we are all descended for ancient austronauts) is opening a theme park. There's a cocktail evening as well to go to.

www.worldmysteries.ch/

Beam me up, Scotty!!

(Muttley, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:24, archived)

My site won an award...

For the easiest navigation.
It takes a while to load.
Sorry but im bored at college
Here

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:23, archived)

pretty

smooth stuff,

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:26, archived)

You what?

All i got was a page of a hundred different horrible little frames either showing a bit of the lycos logo or 404's..

weird

(

Darkedge, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:28, archived)

arggh

crashed my browser!1

aren't they all 404s?

(minoltion, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:27, archived)

Sorry about crashing the browser.

Yes they are all 404's. Was just messing about in Go Live

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:35, archived)

Nice work

Good transitional effects and the use of layers is stunning. DHTML in the hands of a master is a site to behold.

(

fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:30, archived)

fishbear

a t34-85 is here. If i mail you - (after I've got a sarnie) shall I use the addy you signed upto b3ta with?

(

pep, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:38, archived)

yup yup-a-yuppity-yup

Pep - that rocks

(

fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:53, archived)

yay! but this sarnie

is revolting. boo! mail you in a bit.

(

pep, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:56, archived)

im am sooo bored

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:18, archived)

so true

so true

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:19, archived)

shyte

i forgot the woos and yays.. what a twat.

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:20, archived)

b3ta own Hedley

Your Agressive Quad Bike Spacemen are no match for our Badger

(

fishbear, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:15, archived)

pfft...

(

GillianT's_Pet_Trombone, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:07, archived)

thoughts...

why do window cleaners look so rough?, just had this one round called 'Wally' who spells month as 'mouth' :p

..In this packet of 'Popz' popcorn, you're s'posed to get 10 minutes of free calls, but it expired last July (??)

(minoltion, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:14, archived)

your life

is fun of confusion and difficulties...

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:26, archived)

hey anyone,

want to test a site i made
www.deadrel.com

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:12, archived)

That's some

feckin' top navigation you got there sir.

(tomsk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:14, archived)

very good

I like...

(icedragon, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:14, archived)

got to get some

streaming action in there, they start their tour tonight, have fun boyz

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:16, archived)

navigation

is fantastic.

(

pep, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:18, archived)

thought of it

when i bugged that beatle a while back, heres the video
vendetta_w_80.wmv
mcms-delivery.virtuebroadcasting.com/deliverMedia.asp?id=806F7620-7C92-4EA1-A4A6-A9E1382C5B4E

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:20, archived)

ooo

that's ever so good.

Can't stand nasty music myself, but it's a clever site.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:17, archived)

groovy!!

..text seems to far to the right

links don't always work aswell?

bit spark countery at the start ;-)

(minoltion, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:20, archived)

are

you on 800 by 600 resolution , that might be the text,

the links?? let me check, if the bugs aren't moving around it has been displayed in flash 4,

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:22, archived)

its alreet..

youve been showing me this for the last fortnight.

pity the band are such twats tho.

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:22, archived)

hey

started it last sunday buddy so your one week out

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:23, archived)

fair enuf

god the music is shite.. Marz, Hed PE and linkin park have all done it before..

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:26, archived)

thanks for the support

i know i can always count on the postive vibe from you

(doktored, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:30, archived)

up yours

matey.

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:35, archived)

Extreme toast

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:10, archived)

Woo!

Is that a teacosy on his head?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:11, archived)

It's a special protective

toast-racing hat, which provides both impact protection and cosy snugness.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:17, archived)

Ahh

but does it double as a tea cosy?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:20, archived)

It probably could

but you'd have to catch him first- he doesn't like people nicking his hat- he might be unsnug.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:40, archived)

I could lend him

some earsocks. Just while I brew a nice pot of tea...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:41, archived)

He might go for that I suppose

But he's got pretty big ears under that hat. They'd need some pretty serious sockage to retain snugitude.

(

crab_bloke), Mon 15 Apr 2002, 13:46, archived)

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