Bucking Bronco
I always mute TV ads. Hate them. So. HB pipes up last night - look a this !

Its a mechanical bull bucking bronco fucking advertising sanitary towels that you wear - AND THE TOWEL IS ON THE MECHANICAL BULL - and apparently it "will be ok in your period" and wont leak, or hurt, or be painful in anyway because you are wearing the things with wings.

I didn't hear the sound but I was appaled at the advert.
I dont have periods any more but I bet some of these on here that do will agree with me.

It was obviously made by a man.

????

ARE THEY HAVING A FUCKING LAUGH ?
( Tiggy the diver, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 21:22, 2 replies)

Beware the Judderman when the moon is fat
Quite posible the bestest advert ever. Scared the becheesus out of me one night after a few too many tokes.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TUOPeNJCK8

worst ever? those cunts who buy any cars
(hobnails on yer nuts, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 21:16, 2 replies)

Might have been posted already...
...but I think this one for Tetley's Bitter is one of the best I've ever seen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVaz3-Vevok

Although I counted a grand total of two showings on telly in the last six years...about the same amount that GoCompare get through in one advert break.
(Dai Napoleon, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 20:45, Reply)

Tall Jan Is Malicious
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdhLmembryA

I always liked this advertisement, but it wasn't until I read this rant that I finally understood why:

"Some spots need to be viewed over and over again to be truly appreciated. Others, like this All Bran Honey commercial, need to be viewed over and over again get past staring at the unbelievably gigantic nipples protruding through the shirt of "Tall Jan" ... to truly appreciate what the hell the ad was trying to sell."
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 20:24, 1 reply)

I remember a great ad for Lee jeans at the cinema
Sharing a doorway in the rain while a Red Indian* does a rain dance to the Smiths How Soon is Now.

She was gorgeous to me and my raging teen hormones.

*I know it's Native American now but this was the '80s.

edit: might have been on TV as well /edit
another edit - It wasn't the '70s.
(karnuvap, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 20:02, 4 replies)

cunt
You buy one, you get one free. I SAID YOU BUY ONE YOU GET ONE FREE.

Fuck. Off.
(kellysprinkles dying for a pee since, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 19:52, 1 reply)

Possibly the Most Metal advert ever.
The Lager of Lamot

www.youtube.com/watch?v=efsXsyXtS78
Obviously it didn't work because the lager is no more. Still cool though.
Adverts I hate:
Old El Paso
Blokes trying to make some nice food for his utter bitch of a wife and she's merrily telling her mate how shit they're going to be. And when he dishes them up, does she thank him? Does she bollocks.

And does anybody remember a car ad from the mid 80s? The one I'm thinking about had a brunette with enormous knockers who sounded like she was half asleep trying to sound excited about Yugos.
Rubbish ad. Rubbish acting. Rubbish production values. Smashing tits. I think Sam Fox was in the later ones.
(Big D, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 19:39, 1 reply)

Car adverts that have nothing to do with the car
Anyone remember this Peugeot 406 ad from the 90s?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LENbh_560s

featuring a sales rep driving along in his car with scenes of men saving peoples lives, stopping tanks, playing football and all that

NSFNFOMP (Not Safe For Non Fans Of M People)
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 19:38, 1 reply)

Best ever advert (seen in a cartoon)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=keI59KRVco8
(Wankle-Rotary-Engine -pronounced 'Throat Wobbler Mangrove', Fri 16 Apr 2010, 19:31, 1 reply)

Can't be bothered to trawl through all this lot to see if this has been posted yet but the scariest ad ever IMO

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPl7KE_CVPc
and
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS2Dq2zHC9w&NR=1
(Plumstix has been spying on you since, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 19:25, Reply)

Irn Bru Adverts...
...total genius.

From: 'Everybody in the world loves Irn Bru... even though I used to be a man'

www.youtube.com/watch?v=haNhogYCEdM

To the updated version of The Snowman:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfiqrkV_ZqI&feature=related


And the HSM piss take: 'It's fizzy, it's ginger, it's PHENOMENAL!'

www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5ocaypgRHM&feature=related


All brilliant
(Twinx, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 19:16, Reply)

ARRRRRRRRRRGH!
Two I really hate are the Glade ad with the Chinese kid having a dump and whinging about the glade thing, moaning, "It's all gone, it's all gone". Little cunt, I want to spang him right off the shitter. but not as much as the little shit who want's to do a poo at my house! FUCK OFF!
I think the Compare the Market ads are very clever, both in the production and product awareness. Damned clever bit of advertising that, but that poo at pauls shit makes me spit bile so I made this.

click for biggerer
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 18:39, 2 replies)

Benson & Hedges 'Iguana' (1979)
The best cinema advert ever. I even sneaked my tape deck on to record the soundtrack.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABL0VLOkdLc
(hal9001, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 18:37, 1 reply)

The McEwan's Lager ad with the guys pushing the big stone balls...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb7y2VKfgHY

The soundtrack will stick in your head for ages. It's "You've Got The Power" by Win.
(gordonjcp, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 18:13, 1 reply)

Smoking was once cool
Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble advertising Winston Cigarettes

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZvHiiWFbBU
(Lord Chode, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 18:10, Reply)

Maltesers, Crucifiction?
Not posted yet?

Why do I feel the need for a public crucifiction of the woman from the Malteser's adverts? I've been wanting to vent my spleen on this for years...if I was her husband, and I was brave enough, I would've had a honor killing by now, why:

- Humilition by beer can shaking
- Burying DVDs/Shirts
- Trying to shag a children's entertainer
- Trying to shag next door 'fit' guy
- General men are morons and good for sweet FA
- etc

WTF!

Post if you can think of innovative ways of murdering via Malteser
(bruceybonus, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 18:06, 5 replies)

Creepy old man
I know he wasn't meant to be creepy but I found him so when I was a young'un. The thought of finding him in the kitchen stealing pop, scared me.

The blokes voice was dubbed over by Elvis Costello's dad.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqBa7eay6Fo
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 18:01, 2 replies)

That advert for that new Peugeot coupe thing.
The one with the seductive-looking woman driving it, then parking up and kissing a bloke.

How is that supposed to make me want to buy the car? It doesn't tell me anything I need to know - how much it is, how fast it goes, how good the fuel economy is. "Oh, buy this car and you'll get to kiss a bloke", it says. Except you won't - you'll break down halfway there because it's French.

Exactly what sort of person is it aimed at? Has anyone bought one after seeing the ad?

What else? The air freshener ads, that's what. "But it's not wasteful! Because it won't go off for another half an hour..." they croon. Personally, I can't say I give a fuck. For that matter, you shouldn't even need an air freshener unless your house smells of dog piss.

One more - those damned celebrity magazine adverts. "What's going on this week in the world of Katie Price? Did Janet Jackson kiss Elisha Cuthbert's arse? Did she? DID SHE?"

I don't care. Nobody I know cares. I have more important things to care about, like real life. You sad bastards.
(Flap Burger hasn't really got a burger made of flaps, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 18:00, Reply)

I remember the days when
all ads shown in cinemas were of this style. McDonalds captured the effect beautifully.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pbl9h4KEIlg&feature=related
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:54, Reply)

If you're from Hull
and listened to local vacuous commercial radio station VIking FM, you'll remember the Karelia Cars ads, featuring the owner 'Big John'. I've not heard the adverts anymore. Does he not bother?

Hello, it's me! Big John from Karelia Cars. We have cars atc.

Different ads had various themes based on what was popular at the time, such as films TV etc.

Batshitmentalist will know who I mean.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:44, 2 replies)

Cinema ad for that lolly
starring Ken Jones from Porridge.

"Uh, frozen on a stick".

Quite possibly my favourite tagline.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:35, Reply)

do-n't. be. bored. just. call. friends...
0 8 9 8 27 27 27... Oh!
I never did make that call :-(
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Any fucking advert ever....
But gawd if you really want specifics...

Any advert that uses its own employees. You just know these desperate wannabies have probably creamed their own panties at the thought of appearing on tv. Hey lose your dignity and your soul in one swift manouver, but you'll have a moment you'll be proud of forever. You pathetic cunts.

Any advert that displays a level of sexism towards men that would not be tolerated if it was against women.
"Oh, I'm a guy so I'm going to accidently burn down the house while trying to clean the oven or iron a shirt cos I'm such a fucking fuckwit."
I am not a fucking cliche and I dont give a rats arse if we all know a guy who cant even make a fucking cup of tea.
I've known women who will suck your cock for a can of tenants, but that doesnt mean all women are whores!*

Uncle bens fucking rice. It tastes like shit and you should be ashamed for eating it. Just how long does it take to cook rice anyway? Why do I need it in a packet that will cook in less time than it will take me to clear a space at my kitchen table?

Any advert that lasts longer than about 15 seconds. Just put yer name up and a picture of what you want to sell. I probably wont buy it anyway.

That fucking cunting one about the air freshener and the women cooing over it cos it looks like a rock.
No it doesnt. It looks like a plastic piece of shit.
And on this one ditto my above comments about sexist shit. Women are not that fucking stupid they are gonna get fucking excited about a fucking air freshner.

Those ones with Dean Gafney. I dont want to see soaps, I dont want to see soap stars in adverts and I espcially dont want to see his ugly gurning face trying to actually fucking act in an advert that is shittier than a fucking goats cunt.

Erm there may be more.... At least I feel a little better for getting that off my chest.


*I will strongly deny I said this in a court of law.
(EvilMeister, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:14, 2 replies)

I fucking hate charity adverts
Aboogaloo lives 50 miles from the closest source of water...

His Dad isnt there anymore, he's off fighting some pointless civil war...
His Mum is too weak from squirting out a bazillion children...
His bothers and sisters are too weak to move...
Aboogoloo has to walk 100 miles a day to fetch water for his family...

...start giving £2.00 a month? How about just a little bit of advice for Aboogaloo and his family:

MOVE CLOSER TO THE FUCKING WELL YOU STUPID CUNTS!
(gingerbollocks 'happy and content' since, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:11, 1 reply)

Viz

Best advert, ever, has to be the Andrex ad that appeared in Viz.

"Andrex. Gets the shit off your arse and your fingers don't go through it.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:04, 3 replies)

Every single advert

for every single perfume.

They all stink.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Fwap fodder
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yliKFTMvw2Y

A compilation, ignore the others, I'm referring to the second advert that starts at 0:35. I've just noticed that the girl on the right holding the punchbag at 0:41 is pretty much, with the exception of the different hair, a dead ringer for the girl I referenced in this QOTW answer some time ago and wearing the same top and shorts too.

www.b3ta.com/questions/pe/post575388
Hence my reaction.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Nadine "Face like a stretched cat arse" Baggett
From the Olay ads. What the hell is a "celebrity beauty editor" anyway?

Is she a celebrity who works at a magazine as a beauty editor? In which case what is she supposed to be famous for?

Or does she edit "celebrity beauty"? Isn't that just someone who does make up? Isn't that like calling a bin man a refuse services technician?

Screw you Olay, and retinol is just vitamin A you cnuts.
(Bo Nidle Coming back in from the cold., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

For people in the Yorkshire Television Region.
Screw the Coca Cola truck. What really made Christmas, had to be the YTVs Christmas Line!!
Got a problem with your plumming over Christmas?, then call YTVs' Christmas Line on Leeds 44 8 1.... and i bet you still remember the rest of the number! The most catchy tune on the planet!

And thanks to youtube:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5FukEiWFeU
(Miggyman, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:54, 1 reply)