"Pull your finger out."
I can't help it. This phrase sounds so vulgar that when someone utters it all I can think of is mental pictures of people running around, hunched over, with their fingers up their bums. What are the implying?!

I looked it up once and there was an explanation of it being to do with cannons and then a million other entries stating this was untrue and just trying to make it seem less vulgar. It didn't work!

I now hate that woman who plays Mrs Weasley because of those smoke alarm adverts she did. If they hadn't have stopped I would have started a fire and burned to death with no smoke alarm just to spite her.

Agh!
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 20:19, 2 replies)

My dad
glows bright purple whenever someone uses the word "guys" when referring to a group which contains at least one woman.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 20:14, 2 replies)

COOL BEANS
Seriously?
Anyone saying that in my vicinity is likely to receive a punch in the throat
( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 19:47, 7 replies)

Server
People who think switches/routers/any other networking hardware is a server irritate me.

One time when I was still in school, I went into the computer room to check something on the internet and sat in front of a computer only for a 1st year (with the obligatory bag bigger than he was) to inform me that I shouldn't use that particular computer. I asked why and he responded with, "It doesn't have a server in it." When I asked him to clarify, he opened up safari (my school had decided to purchase 30 iMacs to teach us computer skills that would be applicable in the real world of work *facepalm* ) and showed me the error page which came up "Cannot find server" (or somesuch). Spying a network cable lying on the desk I plugged it in (all the other computers were using airport [apples clever proprietary-sounding name for WiFi which they use to try and trick people into buying *all* their hardware from them]). Upon seeing this the first year called across the room to one of his buddies, "Hey that computer does work, he just had to jiggle the server" ...
(tubeman trousers, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 19:34, 5 replies)

There's somethink about Mary
Ugh

Oh, and add to that the letter "Haitch"
(TheCrownPrinceOfZanzibar, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 19:22, 1 reply)

Any conversation that starts..
"What it is; riiiiight.....". Chavs.
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 18:55, 3 replies)

Give it up for....
How does this relate to giving someone a round of applause? Usually undeserved.
(jvz, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 18:05, Reply)

Legend
this one has pissed me off for a long time. A bloke who can get a round in is not a legend, someone who can drive real fast is not a legend, someone who can talk about football in a crazy way is NOT A FUCKING LEGEND.

The dictionary reference for legend actually contradicts this usage!!

a nonhistorical or unverifiable story handed down by tradition from earlier times and popularly accepted as historical.

Cunts, the lot of em
(ReichSteadyCrew Anyone For Spocking?, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 17:53, 3 replies)

my nan...
whilst being awesome, has the habit of calling any condiment at the table "jizzum". the day of being able to shout "IT MEANS SPERM!!" has passed, this has been going on for years. what's worse is that my parents just think this is another of her odd words, and also don't realise IT MEANS SPERM.
(professoryaffle, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 17:44, 7 replies)

"Reach out"
When said in a business context fills me with a very troubling amount of rage- specifically, "I just wanted to reach out to you..." "I think you should reach out to Karen in marketing..." "They said you wanted to reach out to me..."

It's always said with a sticky false-sweetness, esp. by females and/or arsey managers attempting to sound considerate/approachable, without actually having to *be* considerate/approachable. I even caught myself using it last week; I died a little inside.
(aliveinabox, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 17:44, 4 replies)

"Like"
People starting sentences with "and I was like ", together with that most annoying of suffix "innit".

/goesawaytoknawonownfingersforawhile
(JohntheDane, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 17:19, 3 replies)

Probably been done but....
Americans who say "I could care less" arrrgggghhhh the phrase is "I couldn't care less"!!!!!!!

and skelenton instead of skeleton.
(superfly78, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 17:15, 6 replies)

"anythink"...
instead of "anything"... Gah!!
(scratchy, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Twitter Victims
I don't really find this term annoying as much as how wrong the term actually is. In light of the recent labour mp who basically put his foot in his mouth on a larger scale than being overheard joking with his mates, I heard him being referred to as the latest 'Twitter Victim' on the campaign trail.

There is no such thing as a 'twitter victim'. Only retards who don't understand how the internet works.
(Scrumpy does not negotiate with terrorists,, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 16:39, 3 replies)

I don't understand
how sour has suddenly come to mean bitter. There are even sweets called sours. They taste bitter.
(horizons, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I hate when people here use English words in their sentences
It makes them sound like connards
(VieuxConAigri is French, throw rocks at him, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 15:27, 2 replies)

Maybe it's a local accent/dialect thing
but condensing "look at that" into "k'vat" annoys me and yet pleaes me at the same time.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 15:07, 2 replies)

Using pronouns for nouns
My mom would yell at me telling me to get that "thing" and such. Then I'm there just here thinking, "What the hell does she want me to do?" and then she gets mad at me for asking what does she mean.
(Segovia, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 14:44, 4 replies)

Saying "what" instead of "that",
or worse, writing it. I've even seen it on official notices in Tube stations.

One that baffles me more than annoys me, writing "then" instead of "than". Common and excusable enough when English isn't the person's first language, but I don't know how anyone else can get these two words confused.

Now some people have a bee in their bonnet about whether you should say "different to" or "different from", but the one that really gets my goat is the (especially American) habit of saying "different than".
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 14:00, 2 replies)

two words
'innit doh'
(pastcaring trembling in a corner....., Sat 10 Apr 2010, 13:57, 1 reply)

I like annoying those people
who have small willies.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 13:52, 2 replies)

^This
Annoys me.
(Is this it like eggs but better, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 13:44, 3 replies)

But what does this bring to the party?
Used to have a supervisor who would say that to literally every suggestion. Was all I could do not to respond with "Pizza and beer", or when exceptionally pissed off "hookers".
(Spud Diechmann joined in!, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 13:24, 3 replies)

Not just annoying, it hurts my fucking eyes to see it
<body bgcolor = "black" text = "white">
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 13:16, 4 replies)

Win-Win

But what if you're wrong-wrong and it goes bad-bad?

You cunt-cunt.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 11:46, 5 replies)

'Ice. From the Sea of Tranquility.
That's on the moon.'

There are no seas on the moon. Are you trying to sell us something on the basis that you're THAT gullible?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 11:46, 2 replies)

(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 11:39, 5 replies)

Going forward...
I play management speak cricket during our biannual Executive Briefings. "going forward" scores 1 run , "bottom line" 2 runs, "up skilling" 4 runs, and any new meaningless annoying phrase 6 runs. My score at the end of the meeting is usually 90% "going forward" though.
Any more suggestions that I can add to my scorecard are most welcome!
(biscuitsocks random gene expression, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 11:14, 3 replies)

Too many have been covered by others in far more depth, BUT
Adverts that use ridiculous imagery to serve a purpose.
My pet hate at the moment is the Cow and Gate (may not be Cow and Gate) baby milk formula.

"Your baby would have to drink this much cows milk in order to get the iron they need." Then a ten gallon drum of milk shown with the small disclaimer underneath; "Cows milk is not a good source of iron"

You may as well have a hod carrier lumping a full load on the table.
"Your baby would have to eat this many house bricks in order to survive." "Oh, bricks are not a good source of sustanance."

Don't even get me started on Injury Lawyers for You. I'd call them up to tell them their advertising totally discourages me from ever using their service. (The edited polite version shown here.)

Rant over. For now at least.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 10:45, 3 replies)