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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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Need a prank that I can do to an EG civic
My housemate put a naked photo of me on the internet recently and I need to get revenge. He's bringing his pride ang joy, a 1992? EG civic up from home next week so obviously its my target.

Ideas I've already had include borrowing an impact wrench and leaving it on blocks, flour in the fans, removing a bunch of parts and leaving them in his bed a la the horses head in godfather 1, telling the police he's dealing drugs near a school out of it and so on.

I have a friend who can hotwire older hondas so i dont especially need keys but ut would help - do't want to have to pop the door to get in etc...

Has anyone any ideas? I dont have a great deal to spend either but i want it to actually cause him hassle without costing money to rectify

/edit: an anoying noise? hide a cheap phone behind a door card/ part of the dash with a weird ringtone and continually ring it! Any ideas for a tone and where to put it?

also the car is going on donedeal,craigslist,adverts etc...
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 16:47, 47 replies)
Hahahaha let's see this picture then.

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 16:48, closed)
eh no

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 16:51, closed)
Haha small penis.

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:45, closed)
This post is about a Honda CIVIC
not an accord
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 18:01, closed)
OR, he could man the fuck up and stop being a massive oversensitive prick about a mild internet prank. It's not like anyone who matters will have seen his cock

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:42, closed)
Show us your cock then?
Might be funny.
Some people value privacy and don't want naked pictures of themselves on the internet for future employers, and so on, to find.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 18:07, closed)
He's got a really little one, I'm guessing.

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 19:13, closed)
I suppose that not wanting your cock shown on the net automatically means it's tiny.
Assuming you don't splash yourself over the net (and my apologies if you do), does that automatically mean you have horrible saggy tits, a cellulite ridden arse, stretch marked hips and a nasty droopy lipped unkempt fanny?

No, it doesn't.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 6:27, closed)
The level of butthurt he's displaying over this suggest he might.

(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:57, closed)
I'd go loopy.
I'd not play a prank, but I'd have serious words with someone who did.

And by the way, my cock isn't that tiny!
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:45, closed)
would you be sanguine if it was your cock on display?
online, without permission?
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 6:27, closed)
There's loads of daft pictures of me out there.
If they're really horrid, I ask the poster to take them down.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:56, closed)
That is a good response - both adult and sensible.
I have the same response but the idea of unauthorised nakedness fills me with anger. It's not right to display pictures of people, naked, without permission.

I would, however, be more concerned as to why a friend of mine had a photo of my cock.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:41, closed)
Take out all of the wheel studs.
It'll be fine until he drives it away and all the wheels fall off.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 16:51, closed)
but im sure i'd be responsible for replacing any damaged wheelhubs/brakes/suspension bits which doesnt exactly go well with the the fact that i'm a student running on fumes financially (end of year and all that)
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 16:54, closed)
Put a condom over the end of the exhaust...
... with a hole in the end. It will inflate and stay inflated as he drives off.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 16:52, closed)

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 16:55, closed)
Wouldn't it just melt?

Can you wire the windscreen wipers up to the indicators, or something, so they come on every time he turns a corner? Then smear them with vaseline? I reckon that'd be rather irritating...

Or replace his airbag with a comedy boxing glove on a spring, so that if he ever crashes, he gets additionally punched in the face.

Freeze a turd and grate it into the heater vents?

You have options...
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:01, closed)
This doesn't actually happen.
It inflates all too rapidly, then bursts and sounds a lot like a wet fart.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:03, closed)
smoked kipper
or any fish really....the smellier the better.....if you open the glove box behind it you will find the filteration system for the heaters....take the cover off........insert a piece of fish (or other smelly object) between the layers of filters and replace...it'll take him forever to find it by which time he'll hate the car because of its smell!!
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 16:56, closed)
Bannana in the exhaust.
And then give him the eddie murphy laugh "heh, heh, heh ,heh"
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:10, closed)
Wrap the fucker in cling film, paying extra attention to the doors. Get a friend to pass it over and under a few times. Cheap. Non-damaging. Photolicious. Or failing that, superglue in the locks....
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:04, closed)
would spray paint permeate cling film?
or could i wrap panels and then spray them pink with rattle cans?

he'd have to wait ages for it to dry... and it'd be hilarious for the 10 seconds where he'd ink i sprayed his car pink
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:18, closed)
I wouldn't let a spray can anywhere near a car, lest some paint catches the air and falls on a non-clingfilmed area. Plus, while it is drying there may well be some sort of solvent effect to worry about.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:23, closed)
piss on the seats

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:07, closed)
Would unscrewing a spark plug slightly cause it to misfire but remain undetected?
I'm guessing that it'd drive like shite with no power, yes?

Its cheap too because even if it meant he had to replace 4 sparkplugs at a fiver each its only €20...
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:11, closed)
I know that
If the vehicle had no spark plugs it would simply keep trying to turnover, so maybe with 3 out of 4, it turns over and occasionaly starts.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:20, closed)
Firing on 3 may be funny.
It would certainly loose power and if the engine management doesn't complain then it could be a bugger to find.
If you do something like loosen a spark plug lead at both ends then it could be put down to vibrations and the garage would likely charge him for lots of things even if they did find it straight away.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:34, closed)
Very simple
And marginally car-related. Put ads everywhere you can think of along the lines of "Ferrari for sale, mint condition, need a quick sale as leaving the country, no reasonable offer refused. I work nights, so call (his mobile number) between 3am and 6am".
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:13, closed)
also the car is going on donedeal,craigslist,adverts etc...
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:19, closed)
You could tape a bit of metal on the inside of his hubcap to throw his wheel balance out and make it handle funny.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:14, closed)
One I do sometimes
You know those little bits of paper you get in a holepunch after you've been using it for a while? Put a few hundred on the top of his sun visor so they go everywhere as soon as he pulls it down. You can even claim he did it to himself.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:16, closed)
This is good!
Or you could use confetti or rice or toy/jelly bugs.

Or how about some toy mice and rats dotted around? He could be finding them for months. Girlfriends'd scream their heads off.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:27, closed)
Piss in his screenwash
Or if you're not feeling that nasty, just fill it with food colouring.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:17, closed)

i reckon a hand full of popcorn kernels up the exhaust should do the trick. wont even know til he drives off and it warms up and starts popping
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:21, closed)
Turn the screen wash bonnet dealies 90 degrees to the left.
Hope he next uses them while passing a bus queue.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:29, closed)

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:30, closed)
Find a way to power it permanently though...
If you can install one of these and power it using the car's own electrics then you're onto a winner.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 18:03, closed)
Shouldn't fuck with a man's HONDA ACCORD

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:45, closed)
He should totally smash his face in as he overdoses on drugs.

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:46, closed)

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 17:49, closed)
Die in a fire

(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 18:12, closed)
put a handful of marbles in the petrol tank

No long term damage, but utterly annoying
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 18:39, closed)
Shoot him
Then shoot yourself.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 18:48, closed)
If you fuck with a man's car
you're an utter bellend. End of.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 18:52, closed)
I saw Pulp Fiction as well
though I don't personally live be the tenets of the characters.
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 21:36, closed)
Cut his break pipe
so he crashes into a wall and dies.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:40, closed)
Steal the car..
...ring him and tell him where it is. When he arrives to recover it, run him over.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 15:31, closed)

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