Dan dan dan's post below reminds me
I was in a short movie with Spider from off of Coronation Street and he crashed a fag off me during a break in filming. To my nan, that's literally the ne plus ultra of stardom.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 7:56, 1 reply)

I was a Milkybar kid.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 7:49, 7 replies)

I purposely didn't wash my hands after going for a wee knowing full well Tony Blair was coming with a media crew for shakey hands opportunies. That was in 2001 and probably directly led to his downfall.
(badgermonkey007, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 7:18, Reply)

My best man's uncle
got up on stage at a Sham 69 gig and punched Jummy Pursey in the face.
(rogerzilla, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 6:38, Reply)

Walking past a dental surgery
I heard a very familiar voice, I turned around, it was the now late Lynne Perrie ( Ivy Tilsley from 'Constipation' Street) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynne_Perrie who was just coming out from there. It was soon after she had been given the "Services no longer required" treatment from ITV. The infamous face lift had failed completely by then and sadly her face looked like a relief map of the moon.
(Mackeson_drinker, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 6:25, 1 reply)

I was on the local TV news once - RTQ7 Rockhampton back in the 80s
Rushed home to see myself and missed most of it.

I knew a girl who met the Dalai Lama.

I graduated from the Queensland Institute of Technology in the same year as creationist whacko Ken Ham. I didn't know him then, at least I don't think so.

I sat beside the local parliamentarian's daughter at school. Very nice, too, she was. Her Dad later became Queensland police minister until forced to resign becuae he insisted on disciplining police who were caught on TV batoning a female demostrator on the head, by premier Joh Bjelke-Petersen. His replacement appointed a police commissioner who was tainted by suspectd corruption. The scandal broke in the late 80s with Bjelke-Petersen tried for taking bribes and narrowly avoiding jail time.

I bought a raffle ticket from the federal Minister for the Army, Bob Katter Senior at a Rugby League game in far-flung Cloncurry. Didn't win.

I collided with a different federal cabinet minister at Expo 88 in Brisbane as I walked around a corner.

A colleage and very good friend has worked as a research assistant for John Shine - he of the Shine-Dalgarno bacterial DNA sequence. Her sister was Deputy Usher of the Black Rod in the Australian Senate for a while.

Another colleague knew someone killed in the terrorist attacks on the hotel in Mumbai.

My mother knew William Lilley, suspected of the double rape and triple murder at Gatton at the end of the 19th century.

A long-time acquaintance has been Comptroller of the Royal Australian Mint.

I'm pretty certain I knew one of the sources for "The Hand That Signed the Paper" by Helen Darville, who posed as "Helen Demidenko" of Ukrainan roots, about Ukranian exterminatiion camp guards under the Nazi regime.
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 5:22, 2 replies)

I have a few clashes with the celebs
Back in 2008 I was flying from New York to LAX with United Airline and had the pleasure of sitting next to Mel B from the Spice Girls with her lanky bald-headed husband of the time and their two kids. She was wheeled onto the plane in a wheel chair and then jumped up and found her seats.

It was on a bowing 747 so we had the four seats that faced the middle partition right at the front of the plane, She said "Y'right?" I said "Yes" and that was it. He kids screamed for about 8 hours and then she got wheeled off again with a blanket over her head to protect her from the masses of paparazzi (none) that were waiting for her when we landed.

More recently I was doing yoga in my local gym here in New Zealand when Orlando Bloom taking a break from filming The Hobbit decided to join the class, He took a mat and me being the only other guy in the room he sided up to me said hello and i spent the rest of the class trying not to look him in the eye when doing my "downward dog" - Nice chap that Orlando.

Others from the past while i think about it; Will Young asked me if i fancied going for a drink with him in the bar of the hotel i was working in, I politely declined. On that same tour that little stuttering prick Gareth Gates spat on my reception desk because I wouldnt unlock the mini bar in his room -he was under-age at the time.

Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew), Jake the Snake Roberts, Bobby Charlton, and Busted all graced my reception desk while working on a reception desk at a hotel in Birmingham.

Jaqueline Gold MD of Ann Summers played with my bow tie once (I was a waiter at one of their "conferences"

That's all I can think of!
(Devonda, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 4:54, Reply)

Something something ALIVE? I'm drawing a blank
I had a brief but enjoyable affair with one of Brian Blessed's birdmen from the popular documentary Flash Gordon about ten years ago,
(roszser, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 4:34, Reply)

I was on the Nine O'Clock News
...in between a police officer and a student, with a hand on each of their chests, holding them apart. This was at a protest at Nottingham Trent Uni, protesting on the day that Kenneth Clarke was being given an honorary doctorate behind closed doors.

As I recall, the announcer mentioned that there were no arrests and no unpleasantness at the demo, and it's all down to me. My Dad was not amused, but I was delighted.
(wertperch is losing his hair, marbles and patience., Fri 21 Sep 2012, 2:49, Reply)

I went out with Chris Miller, backing vocals and guitarist with Amebix (look them up) when I was at school, for about a week.
(Freakmandu, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 2:28, Reply)

A minor list
I've got a few shit claims to fame.

1 - Kim Wildes father Marti Wilde called me a little shit when I accidentally knocked his pint over in the backstage area of Skegness Butlins when my stepfather was playing in his backing band one summer season in 1992.

2 - I used to work in H&M in Nottingham and once served the guy who played Eric Pollard in Emmerdale. He bought womens underwear, he had no women with him so make of that what you will.

3 - I once spent half an hour talking to Steve Matlock the original bassist of the sex pistols and had no idea who he was.

4 - Once accidentally offended Gerry Anderson. He was at a book signing at the Forbidden Planet in London about 2005/2006 and I honestly thought he'd been dead for a while and said to my mate "bugger me, I thought Anderson was dead!" to which he said quite forcefully while glaring at me "I'll have you know that I am QUITE ALIVE thank you very much young man"

5 - Similar to the above incident but the celeb earned my total respect for their response and took it in much better humour. I once saw Simon Callow on the Jubilee Line and I was with the same friend and as before I uttered the words "Christ I thought Callow had died", he looked over smiled and said "Perish the thought dear boy, only in that four weddings film" at this point he becomes rather somber and looks off into the distance finishing the sentence with ".....and once or twice on stage.....fucking Shakespeare!".

6 - Not me but my mother actually went out with Steve Curry(Currie?) of T-Rex before he was in T-Rex.

7 - Once got served by Carla Lane of Bread fame in a charity shop. I thought it was a bit weird until I realised that she was actually the owner and all funds raised went to an animal shelter that she was the patron of.
(Official Sarc, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 1:11, 4 replies)

I had a bit of a chat with Ralph McTell once, at a festival...
Though, to be honest, I didn't know who he was until after he'd gone.
And, I met Willy Russell at a beer festival (I knew who he was).

For what it's worth, they both seemed like perfectly ordinary and pleasant blokes - the king of guys you'd have a pint with. Which I did.

Oh, oh... I once bumped into John Parrott in my local chippie (I'm guessing this would be in the mid 80's, when he'd just started to break (ho ho) into the big time). I'm pretty sure he's the only guy I've ever seen in a Liverpool chippie wearing a bow-tie.

Damn! Just thought of another one:
I'm on the inside cover of the 2001 Stackridge album "Pick of the Crop" (I only found out about this a couple of weeks ago).

Fuck me - I'm virtually a superstar!
(minimalist ..., Fri 21 Sep 2012, 0:24, Reply)

Where's Sea Tramp?
He got put on ignore by Stuart Maconie

100% TRUEFAX
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 0:22, 5 replies)

Chris Ramsey
I went to college with up and coming comidian Chris Ramsey. The girls called him "Creepy Chris". Seemed nice enough to me but I don't remember him ever being funny.
(Mong goose, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 0:21, Reply)

When I was a kid in the late 80s
I used to play golf at the same club as Lee Westwood. I beat him a couple of times. His dad was also a maths teacher at our school.
(Andino, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 0:08, Reply)

My dad was in the same year as Prince Charles at gordonstoun
though everyone ruthlessly ignored him apparently because they didn't want to accused of sucking up to him or something. My dad actually said he felt sorry for the guy. I think my mum muttered his brother was in the same year as Tony Blair or something.

I was sent to a comprehensive, like most normal people
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 23:45, Reply)

In the 70's
I appeared in a TV commercial with Jimmy Saville (pre OBE)

The commercial was filmed at my high school in the London Borough of Brent and was meant to encourage kids to use their local sports and leisure facilities. Due to the fact that it was to only be shown in Northern Ireland, They didn't want any black kids in it (apparently a very small black population in NI at the time)

My school population was 60% Black.

Went down well as you can imagine.
(MadBouncyDog Barking at the moon since, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 23:44, Reply)

Starbuck side boob...
I got some side boob from Katie Sackhoff. It was all completely innocent of course (She turned to the side for a picture when we were hugging.) I, of course stayed in place and her boob got in the way of my hand.
She was waaay nicer that I thought she would be, and really tiny! :-)
( JamHamster My eyes, my beautiful eyes!, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 23:36, 3 replies)

Mostly shit, but proud of one
My Mum's friend's house in Stoke was used for some of the exterior shots in a short-lived sitcom starring Sir John Mills.

Once saw Bill Oddie getting out of a taxi on Tottenham Court Road

Took a photo of 'comedian' Lennie Bennett when he opened a furniture store in our town. See also Noel Edmonds and the local British Leyland garage.

And at primary school, the year 1 teacher (hello Mrs Glogowski) introduced us to a Canadian friend who was staying with her family while in the UK. I even got an autograph (long since lost) from the bearded gentleman. His name was James Doohan.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 23:06, 1 reply)

I got to see the Krankies
in panto.
Went backstage to meet them and it took me half hour to realise the tiny lady talking to me was actually Wee Jimmy.
I was most upset at how I had been deceived.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 23:05, 2 replies)

My great uncle
Remarried Barack Obama's mum.
(Le Misanthrope last procrastinated on, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 23:00, Reply)

i was in a pub in london last week
The pub quiz started up. The quiz master was none other than spider from coronation street froma few years back.... How the mighty fall...
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 22:44, Reply)

Got invited to dinner at Gary Wilmot's house
The erstwhile eighties variety mainstay was married to the cousin or aunt (or something like that) of my then girlfriend. Went to the Punch and Judy in Covent Garden and got shit-faced instead. This might have got me in a bit of trouble subsequently but I still think I made the right decision.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 22:39, Reply)

I've touched Grandma of Shoes.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 22:38, 1 reply)

Stewart Lee sent me a death threat in the post

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 22:36, 2 replies)

Avoidance is a useful tactic
I'm always surprised more people in the local community theater don't become famous. All that talent, wasted on half-empty halls.

One local girl, Greta Gerwig, has made it famous, but when I knew her she was 15 and tried to avoid my company. Probably for the best!
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 22:35, Reply)

i was in the film 'Green Street' with Elijah Wood
well sort of.
you can see my hand.
for at least 3 frames.
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 22:34, Reply)

Apparently I was a session Musician on a UB 40 Album...
A mate of mine worked at CTS studio Wembley and as the management were getting snotty about people (mates etc) dropping in, he booked me in as a session musician.

Apparently I walked past some of the band in the corridor!
( Vambo, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 22:28, Reply)

Judith Chalmers
Once called me a cunt .
I had nearly run her over after she'd stepped out in front of me in Soho square.
( bane, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 22:24, 2 replies)

I was at college and shared a flat with the now Lord Adebowale
At the time he was just "Vic", had a strong Wakefield accent, and was an all round decent bloke.

www.parliament.uk/biographies/lords/victor-adebowale/26848
( Varmint, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 22:22, Reply)