okay, so this actually is spoooooky!!
looking at the profile of someone who replied to my previous (and first ever) posting...noticed one of those "what kind of animal are you...?" things and decided to have a go, for a laugh like, seeing as i'm not at work today...and guess what kind of animal am i? a badger! check it out...http://www.myspace.com/blaireau69 cool indeed, but get this bit...my sister has called me badgerboy for the past howevermany years, blaireau is french for badger and i have only one tatoo. you guessed it, a groovy lookin' badger on my left upper-arm.

going for a lie-down in a darkened room...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 13 Feb 2007, 14:37, Reply)

Japanese exchange student
When I was about 16 or 17 this wonderful, beautiful Japanese exchange student came to study at my school. Gorgeous, but very shy, I made eyes at her for a year to no avail before she went off back to Japan. In that time we never uttered more than two words to each other. Fast forward six years, 1 arts degree and a ticket to central Honshu on an government English teaching program later, and who should I meet?

The very same beautiful Japanese girl! Turns out she lives a 40 minute train ride away from me. And she's dating my mate. Since I'm virtually married, I'm not bothered about this, but it is interesting to hear all about my high school dream girl's sexy little secrets down the pub. Apparently also, she says she would have gone out with anybody when we were in school - anybody surely includes me! Ah missed opportunities. Selah.
(weirzbowski, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 14:34, Reply)

Couple o' wankers
Driving through Germany with my dad. Hadn’t seen him for ages.

Wanted to prove to him I had grown up a bit and wasn’t the smutty little sod he told me I was on our last meeting. (Involved a girlfriend and some angel delight - long story but lets just say my dad's living room carpet was never quite the same again).

So, here's me being all mature and wanting to build a meaningful adult relationship with Senior, and...

I drive round a bend and we enter a town named Wank.

Fill in the gaps... I couldn’t resist.

Sorry, dad. Next time let’s meet up in Hackney.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 13:57, Reply)

History Repeats Itself...
...and I didn't see it coming.

The back story is already written - to cut a long story short I was a loser
in Love. The long version is here: www.b3ta.com/questions/firstlove/post41805/ - you'll understand why
I'm not repeating it here (rather lengthy). I've never seen her since, but since then another lovely girl has made me almost able to forget her.

Still with me?

Last year I took part in a romance-related "stunt" on BBC national radio but didn't make it to the end. When I got home I realised that somebody closer to home was holding a very special place in my heart. We went out and I had a good time for the first time in years, and I've been seeing her every now and then. It took nearly a year to pluck up the courage to say something (that's pretty quick for me, I can tell you).

Now yesterday TWO DAYS before Valentines day, there I am, in a well known supermarket chain looking at the cards, finally picking one "for someone special" and having spent all day working out what to put inside when the phone goes (text message) saying yes to my invite out at the weekend but stating that it's definitely just as friends. Well there goes another one.

At the exact moment I put the card in the damn basket. I mean, I ask you, what is going on there?

Any suggestions welcome, apart from: turn Gay or become a Monk.

This was closely followed by a trip to the pub for a stiff drink, not a good idea but it was away from the sharp knives and a hangover at least gave me a good excuse for feeling like s**t at work in the morning.

EDIT: The good news is that she's still speaking to me, and we're going out, as friends, on Sunday. I think I've caught this one early enough to cope with it rather than "going off the handle for several years" like the last one. Phew!
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 13:37, Reply)

Wikipedia.......
Was just on Wikipedia and clicked random article wondering what delights it would find for me. The first random article it brings up is the tiny insignificant village that neighbours my equally tiny insignificant village.
(NotSaying lurking is fun, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 13:27, Reply)

Shared birthday
My wife and I share the same birthday (although born one year apart)both our first names start with D, both our fathers were in the RAF, we both met our best friends on the same day in different places and it turns out they were married to each other, on the same date as we got married.
(Alf N. Safety - refusing you planning permission on, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 13:18, Reply)

Coincidence
It was my 1st b3ta birthday 16 days ago....


*Woooo!*
(Jugular, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 13:07, Reply)

"Strange" goings on...
in the late eighties i studied in nottingham for a couple of years, before dropping out in spectacular style...
returned home (200+ miles away) to re-group, as it were, and spent the next 14 years working in the licenced trade before jacking that off to work for myself renovating property.
one day my mobile rings and a voice (kind of familiar but cannae place it) asks if i'm blaireau69 the builder guy? and briefly describes a wee bit of work needing doing, am i interested?
aye, nae bother, give me some details and i'll pop round for a look before i commit...
the guy on the other end expresses some considerable relief, cos he's sick of leaving messages with mrs builder or on builders answerphones and not hearing back from them. he'd phoned me cos i was the only building repair/maintenance firm in the area that listed a mobile number in the yellow pages.
anyway, i say give me your name, address and phone number and i'll pop round.

he "okay, don't laugh, my name's 'strange'..."
me "laughs! seriously?"
he "yes. i told you not to laugh"
me "sorry, it's just i was at college with a guy called "s***** v***** strange" in nottingham in the late 80's"
he "fuck me, blaireau69 mc***?"

we never really knew each other that well at college, and he certainly didn't know where i came from. he'd moved to my home town about 2 months before for work. these days we are great pals, he was witness at my wedding just over a year ago and we've been on motorbiking holidays together.

and his surname actually is "strange"!

the world is this () big. aye?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 13 Feb 2007, 12:42, Reply)

wotchoo doin` ere?
My first job post degree was in BBC world service, mad but fun. trouble was it was job for life, any movement was dead mens shoes. Muggins joined a little firm making test rigs as hardware person assembly programmer. Say goodbye to life, after nearly a year working my nuts off, I resigned,took a much needed break. Hooked up with some old mates ex uni and we went rail backpacking round Europe for a month.

Nearly two weeks in and its a bit: which day is it? where are we? as to save money on accommodation we took overnighters to travel on some legs, crashed on seats, and you don`t sleep very well.

The strange bit was timing, we`d been gassing about school hols and everytime I went to Southend I`d bump into mates from school. Jonesy said the same when he used to go to Whitby or Scarborough. " Oh well at least there is no chance of bumping into anyone on this", we should have realised that making that declaration changed the fabric of the universe.

Scenario, above conversation, on express going through Germany to change onto express going to Milan. several beers, fitful kip.
Arrival Cologne 630am, four red eyed intrepids dwarfed by back packs stop in the underplatform corridor to have a look at the train display.

The sound of Estuary suddenly erupting behind me says "watchoo bleedin` doin` `ere, checking up on me?" to which my mates fold up and go "wrong!" " wosso funny? wot you bin sayin abaht me?" Its Alec Thomas, BBC world service Network Ops Manager, my old managers boss. Nice guy nicknamed smart alec, spiv in a suit, etc.

Told him the story, He was in Cologne for an international wavelength allocation conference. Sadly we had under half an hour before the Italy train, not staying in Cologne so no time for a gargle later.
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 12:13, Reply)

Beer, conentration camps and sucide bombers..........................
About 2 years ago, I was a member of an UOTC while at uni. For those of you who dont know what an UOTC it is a university officer training corp. pretty much army cadets for uni students. So we basically run around with rifles and pretty much get pissed every evening.

But anways every year we have a 2 week summer camp (yes it does sound gay), this year we spent 1 week in some mock village learning how to assault and clear buildings (was very cool).

And the 2nd phase we spent a week doing adventure training exercise in Bavaria. Rafting rock, climbing, you get the idea.

Anyways on one of nights in Bavaria we were getting pissed as usual. however this night we had to dress up in costumes, anything we wanted. Those without costumes would be punished. Most probably down a dirty pint or something.

Either way im a light weight, and not know for my "pub fitness". And i had no costume, ………….fuck.

So being the resourceful lad I am, I tried to make do with what ever I could find.

Newspaper, string and duck tape.

So I did what any normal person would do and make a suicide bomber jacket. Using paper rolled into packets connecting it with string and taping the whole thing to my hoody.

The affect looked awesome, quite a few people thought it was cool, some were not impressed.

So the night went ahead ,got pissed, had a laugh, got rid the vest at the end of night. Went to bed worse for wear.

Next day my group had an R n R day (relax and recreation i think, i cant remember all the acronyms). So we spent it visiting a concentration camp.

A very solumn experience and i recommend everyone visit one if the have the chance.

on the coach back from the concentration camp to the base. One of the guys gets a text message saying theres been a terrorist attack in London.

That date July 7th.

The night i spent dressed as a suicide bomber getting pissed July 6th. I felt pretty shit and ashamed.

Its not all bad one the guys had a wank right after visiting the concentration camp. So at least im not the only one going to hell.

Length.... big enough so i dont piss on my feet.
(Poo_Pipe_Pirate, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 11:27, Reply)

133225 to 1?
My best friend and I share exactly the same birthdate, (29th June) not beyond the realms of possibility I grant you, but consider this. His partner and my wife also share a birthdate (29th July). I would love to know the exact odds on that, if there are any mathmeticians out there.

Long time lurker, but first post.

Length? I can only speak for half the calculation...
(fonzy, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 11:22, Reply)

Spoooky coincedence with Monporn's post...
Whilst living in Islington, myself and my flatmates were ambling in a hungover manner in the direction of King's Cross station, when we spied a moorhen crossing the road on a zebra crossing. Thinking this was quite sweet, we stopped to watch it totter across.

It was about halfway to the other side when some cunt on a motorbike deliberately swerved into it and turned it into moorhen twizzlers. Really put a downer on the cuteness, that.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 11:16, Reply)

Not spoooky any more...
My friends and I are CONSTANTLY saying the exact same things, at the exact same time, in the exact same tone. It's become so common, we no longer react to these events with surprise, but rather just a mock-glare at each other and, usually again in unison, admonishing the other with "get your own wavelength!"

It got so bad once, a friend and I got "caught" in it. We kept trying to say random things in an attempt to break it, but KEPT SAYING THE SAME THINGS. It only stopped when she said something absolutely ridiculous, making me laugh.

Spoooky coincidence, or are we all just that similar to one another?
(Morgan is a damn dirty hippie, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 11:10, Reply)

Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner... THATman!
Ages ago I decided to try a little test in a restaurant...

After my meal I picked up the little bit of parsley they balance on the top and on the underside I wrote my name in black biro.

The waitress collected the plates and we ordered pudding and coffee. About 20 mins later I heard a voice at a nearby table say "There's writing on my parsley!".

So I piped up "Ah, that'll be mine! I wondered where I'd left it!". The waitress apologised while the couple upped and left the restaurant :-)

Not sure if spooky or just gross. Moral of the story, don't eat the parsley.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 10:08, Reply)

Seriously
Back in school, in my first year, I once had a dream that i was bleeding in my D&T workshop next day I had D&T first thing, I was using a chisel, and slipped, manage to take a fairly large chunk out of my hand, then I remembered the dream, it looked 'exactly' as it had done in my dream. I didn't have to do that lesson though, not all bad ya see.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 10:00, Reply)

last Saturday, I went to
Torture Garden, the world's largest fetish club. Not to leave anything to chance, they held the event in an old church. Although I'm not religious, it's always in the back of your mind. When the night had ended, we headed back to the hostel, whereupon on turning the light out, the biggest bolt of lightning and clap of thunder came forth, on an otherwise weather-free night. Spoooky.

Coincidentally, I have also been terribly ill and had the past two days off work paying for my sins. Though walking round Brixton half naked may have had something to do with that one...
( cheesebread at the third stroke, hammertime will be, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 9:58, Reply)

I met a guy once
He really liked walkers crisps... 3 days later, a walkers crisp packet floated by his house... spoooky eh?
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 9:49, Reply)

Virginised!
A few months back I won the runner-up prize in the B3ta "Slag Off Virgin" compo obtaining a PSP for me efforts. A few months later our company have now merged with the Branson, and I now work for Virgin. Oops, sorry boss.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 9:30, Reply)

spooky? just f*@king weird if you ask me...
well. ahem. i once saw a fox using a 'zebra crossing' on my way home from the pub. it was not wearing a top hat and a tie, nor was it carrying one of Boggis, Bunce or Bean's livestock. it was just an ordinary, mangy looking fox using a crossing. darn spooky if you ask me. it didn't even have a Che Guevara T-shirt, the cheeky blighter. it might be worth a nickel to ask banksy to mount a revolutionary fox on the wall natural history museum. preferably not near the lavatory; fox-pee stinks.
(monporn, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 9:30, Reply)

A shit story
I've always lived life with the belief that religion's a pile of shite, so I was visibly shocked last week after I took a dump and noticed my freshly departed turd had left some juicy brown skidmarks which formed an exact replica of the face of baby Jesus.
(Fatima Whitbread's hardon drugs and the causes of drugs, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 2:28, Reply)

I told you she was a slapper
Me and a couple of mates went to a party in South London and were making our way back to North London when we were pulled over by the filth.
They searched us and found a bit of weed on my mate so arrested him and took him back to the nick. Being the nice guys we are, my mate and I decided to wait for him to get processed and give him a lift home.
Whilst we waited we ventured into a 7-11 (this was a while ago) to get some food. After I paid for my stuff I turned around to see my mate standing in front of all the porn mags, flicking through a copy of Razzle. I made my way over to him and started browsing the top shelf mags as well. All of a sudden I stopped, transfixed by what I saw before me.
"Oi, Laurie, isn't that your bird on the cover of that jazz mag?"
"Well, yes, yes it is."
It took us about 5 minutes to stop laughing and pick ourselves up off the floor before we could club together our last remaining pennies to buy a copy.
The worst bit was that the mag was Nude Readers Wives and all the birds were rotten. One of them had a bruise the size of a football on her inner thigh.


On another occassion I was walking through Liverpool Street station at rush hour. I looked down and saw some passport photos. Being the nosy bastard that I am I bent down and picked them up. It was my mate Rich. I was able to give them back to him later that night.
(Stainer Has been treating objects like women since, Tue 13 Feb 2007, 2:25, Reply)

Mull Historical Society...
...It was so spooky. I'd just got out of my car after work, and gone into the flat. On the way home I'd been listening to Mull Historical Society's 'Loss' album. Imagine my shock and surprise to find the uppermost post on the B3TA board was about...
(spangledonkey I've got a mouse. His name is Gerald., Tue 13 Feb 2007, 0:52, Reply)

Mull Historical Society
went to see colin macintyre at an instore in manchester a few years ago, was the first time i'd driven solo on a motorway, and was listening to the first album (loss) on my MD player, as i got to the strangeways area of manchester the song "strangeways inside" came on.
not so spooky as much as it made me laugh
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Mon 12 Feb 2007, 23:06, Reply)

When I was at Uni...
... I walked into the bar on the first night.

Everybody was carrying A4 manilla envelopes. They had all been to India on their gap year. They all went over to the jukebox and put on the same record, 'Young At Heart' by the Bluebells. And they were all called Rachel, but none of them could spell it.

And three years later, they all became accountants!

Spoooky!!
(><(((">, Mon 12 Feb 2007, 22:59, Reply)

my stalker haunts my dreams...
I was at a club and got talking to a girl, we dated for a few weeks but i ended things because she got too serious too quick(wanting kids with me and looking at engagement rings) so i've not ended things before so i just assume she disappears and finds a new Squire. She ends up appearing at my house and telling my mum that we're still going out and is looking for a flat for me and her. So after a month or 2 she finally goes away after ALOT of freaky drama.

so 2 years pass, and i've not thought of her at all, one night i'm dreaming about her randomly, i wake up at 3am, look at my phone and a texts comes through a few seconds later.

guess who it was?
(squirejr, Mon 12 Feb 2007, 22:27, Reply)

when I was about 14,
i did work experience at a jet engine repairing place,and for a lot of the duration heard stories about the guy who was there before me, and how much they all hated him, because he did nothing, and took the piss the whole time. a few years later when i started sixth form i somehow got onto a coversation with a friend i had made, about work experience, and we where surprised to find out we went to the same place. then i realised that it was him! the guy they hated so much! he was chuffed to hear what they had all said about him eg.- "he was a little cunt! if i see him again im gonna run him down!" nowdays i spend most lessons doing nothing and taking the piss out of stuff with him.
(biggiantmat, Mon 12 Feb 2007, 22:00, Reply)

from time to time
I've looked at a building and knew I would work in it/spend time there at some point, this has happened about six times so far. Its a bit weird to say the least.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 12 Feb 2007, 21:54, Reply)

Superbowl
My older brother and I were watching Superbowl XLI, we'd sat down with our beers and snacks ready to watch the Bears kick in the Colts for the sole reason that a guy at work is a Colts fan and we wouldn't hear the end of it if they won (Still haven't heard the end of it now), when my brother says "I bet as soon as the Colts kick off the Bears return it for a touchdown straight away" and thats what happened, 26 seconds into the game. After that he said "I bet the first throw Manning makes is intercepted" and he was almost right on that one as well, the Bears guy could only tip it away though rather than catch it.
(OzEden is probably clinically insane, Mon 12 Feb 2007, 21:17, Reply)

stu moo
done that, wasn't kp as he wasn't playing when i did it, but was watching a match with my brother and predicted every shot played by the batsmen for an over

and jonbontempti, that's what i was dancing too as diana died (i didn't know anything about a crash at that point, it was when my friend's mam came down to tell us to turn the sound down)
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Mon 12 Feb 2007, 21:04, Reply)

Another stupid 6 degrees one
My wife's father's (now deceased) sister's widower's brother's wife's 1st cousin is the former US president Bush (i.e. the current one's dad). Seriously. I've met all of the people described above, except for GWB and GHWB. The cousin's last name is Walker, which is what the "W" in "George W. Bush" stands for.
Can't believe I've just admitted to this. Please still respect me, b3ta.
Owell, I guess being "family" gives me official license to criticize him, right?
(chase, Mon 12 Feb 2007, 19:28, Reply)