Lists
QOTWs that are just lists of things. I much prefer the ones which have more scope for well put together stories. Isn't that what QOTW is really about?
(sleeping in is giving in, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Puns
Firstly, stretching the English language to breaking point just to make a phrase that sort of sounds a bit like another one isn't really punnery. Secondly, it's fucking annoying and you should all feel ashamed of yourselves.
(Boar is dreaming of get rich quick schemes..., Sat 17 Oct 2009, 11:14, 5 replies)

Abba
This isn't going to be a piece of shameless iconoclasty, so apologies if you're reading this expecting a rant.

I've heard it said, by a dj I'm extremely fond of,

"If you don't like Abba, you don't like music." Can't agree with this, I'm afraid.

I can appreciate the songwriting of Abba; the melodies are full of hooks, the harmonies simple but effective, and they've certainly produced some floorfillers. But despite this, and the depth provided by the complicated relationships within the band, they leave me completely cold. I can't explain it, friends have tried to get me to like them, but it doesn't work.

Mrs Milky wants me to watch Mamma Mia, but I expect I'll just nod off or something.
( milkybarnick is calming down Boris on, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 11:08, 3 replies)

Bukkake vids
If I understand it correctly, you are essentially paying to watch a bunch of blokes having a formation wank.
Not what I'd call erotic.

And more than a little gay, come to think of it.
(Big D, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 10:46, Reply)

I just don't 'get'...
Friends.
The silly, un-funny, waste of space American comedy (if you can call it comedy).

My friends rave about it all the time, and as soon as I say "But it's just not funny!! The Americans don't have a sense of humour!!" I get verbally puked on with my friends telling me I'm not open minded about comedy (and I am... I've seen more comedy than they've had hot dinners and I know who has a sense of humour, and it's deffinatly NOT the Americans)

Does anyone else see Friends as a waste of time, space, effort, money and resources??


(but don't get me started on the spin off, 'Joey'....)
(one-winged-angel-616 isn't as depressed as she sounds, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 10:40, 11 replies)

Right, don't think I've spotted this one yet
Cars, or more specifically car porn. Going all wobbly at the knees when you see some Aston Martin/Ferrari/whatever drive past/in a showroom/on Top Gear. The accepted social convention* for a bloke seems to be that you have to make cooing noises about how "beautiful" or "stunning" it is. I'll admit some cars look nice, but the don't take my breath away with their beauty.
I mean, there are people that talk about planes** or trains or some other subset of machines being beautiful, and they're 'sad' and so forth, but cars it's expected that this is done.

Oh, and while we're at it, does anyone actually understand all the technical nonsense which begins "V12 turbocharger" and then goes on in a load of terminology? Because my pet theory is that no-one does beyond "it makes it go faster" and it's all just the blokey equivalent of those L'Oreal adverts where there make up some impressive sounding words that mean nothing.

Ooh, that's ended up being quite long. Oh well.

*I think this question could have been renamed "What thing does society say you must like, but actually you don't?" Perhaps less snappy though.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 10:28, 9 replies)

The Coast Of Yemen
what's the point of him? Sure, he's made some funny pictures, but most of the time he just posts snide and sarcastic remarks on internet messageboards.

And what's with that name - "The Coast of Yemen"? I mean what sort of nonsensical bollocks is that?

Clearly just another egotistical prick using the internet as an outlet for all the witty things he thinks of in RL but can't say due to crippling social retardation

What a cunt.
( The Coast Of Yemen, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 10:26, 1 reply)

I just don't understand...
Unlike most of the posts here I'm not going to rant about the things I don't like I'm just going to spout about something I simply don't understand why it exists at all:

Sports News.

Why does it exist?

A section on the news dedicated to telling you the results of sporting events....

Who's the target audience?

Either:

A) You're interested in which case either you'll have watched the event, or won't want to know the result until you've watched it, so they prefix the announcement with "If you don't want to know the result look away now". What other program tells there EXACT TARGET AUDIENCE TO TURN OFF!

or

B) You don't give a monkies.

Either way why bother dedicating upto 25% of the news slot to it? Is there really nothing better to be reporting on in that time.

It strikes me that it's probably just spite on behalf of the news channel that they didn't get the rights to broadcast the full event. If that is the case it'd be far more entertaining to actually say that - "Now because those fuckers over at sky have go the rights here are the results, see you don't need to subscribe now do you"
( Jonoton, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 10:06, 2 replies)

I don't understand...
Why is everyone so obsessed with these little things?

Ok, I can rant with the best of them, I spend at least half of my waking hours whinging about something or another, don't get me wrong.

But what I don't understand is that a lot of people on here seem to be totally predjudiced and blinkered to a lot of things. A lot of people are saying "If you do xxx, you are a chav/stupid/a twat etc.", with no exceptions.

So, even if I'm a nice, well rounded, intelligent person who helps orphans on my days off and saves lickle bunnies by night - if I occasionally eat a crispy pancake, read a shit magazine, express a dislike for a certain type of food or laugh at the wrong person, I'm a chav and a twat?

(Not that this is ACTUALLY what I'm like, but you get the idea)

What intrigues me even more is that the people posting stuff like this also say how much they hate other forms of discrimination.


Just saying.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 17 Oct 2009, 9:55, 2 replies)

Backpacking
Sure, see the world. I can dig that. See the bits that are off the beaten track (because they're 'more authentic' apparently).

But seeing all that from a backdrop of hostels full of twatting-around-for-a-year students, airports and third world buses?

Why? Just why?

Hotels. Hire cars. Restaurants*. If you're going to visit a country that's poorer than you, then why the hell would you not do it 5-star? It's the only opportunity you're going to get 'cos it's all back out the window when you get back home.

*admittedly, I do fancy hitting east asia and living off food from market stalls, even though I guess it's the east's answer to a burger van
(Benjimawoo, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 8:03, 2 replies)

James Martin
Smug twat who doesn't deserve to be on the road, let alone on TV
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 6:48, 2 replies)

People who pigeon hole them selves in a specific musical genre
Basically people who refuse to listen to anything else beyond their shallow, ignorant tastes.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 5:05, Reply)

Nick Cave
I had the opportunity to meet him once, but passed it up as I almost vomited hearing the people suck up to him so much. Even the music media thinks his shit is gold. The real reason he had to bugger off to Berlin the 80s as he owed too many people money from his smack habit (allegedly).
(TimChuma, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 4:54, Reply)

I'm Scottish, So...
Football - uninteresting and not worth getting worked-up about.
Whisky - a foul, foul liquid.
Being anti-English - The last battle was hundreds of years ago, GET OVER IT!

I was kicked-out, obviously.
(sleekloon Curing Cancer one cell at a time., Sat 17 Oct 2009, 4:41, Reply)

I got stabbed in the back once.
I didn't see the point.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 4:21, Reply)

Cheryl FUCKING Cole...
I know none-of-yous will be in this category, but there are simply thousands of (dumb-ass) people out there who use the words - National Treasure - when referring to the odious, moody, talentless, half starved scragg-end, brat Cheryl Cole.

(have a cake Cheryl, it might cheer you up a bit)

Am truly mystified...

x
(Beejster, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 4:17, 5 replies)

pimp my profile
ooh look at me i can fanny around with html

too.much.free.time+geek=pointless(ugly)profile adornment/no life
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 2:56, 8 replies)

Schoolgirls. Or, to be more precise, fantasies about schoolgirls.
What the holy living fuck is going on with that? If there's one thing I learnt at school, schoolgirls are the nearest thing to a living incarnation of evil on this planet; their concentrated malevolence is mitigated only by the fact that they are typically as lumpenly pig-ignorant as schoolboys. Who in their right mind would want their genitals anywhere near that?

What sort of crazy would you have to be to be turned on by the thought of a schoolgirl? For sanity's sake, leave 'em a few years to grow into a woman's body, and hopefully connect enough braincells together to be capable of some semblance of human empathy.
(Astatine, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 2:22, 13 replies)

Birds Wot Got Flat-stomachs
I'd rather lose my mess on the discernible rise and curve of a naturally feminine belly than the featureless dishplate of some borderline anorexic.
(Twenty Camels, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 2:06, 6 replies)

Most people will disagree
But i really hate spaced.

It was plain shitness. with added shit
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 1:26, 6 replies)

spraying your skin orange
what is the mother fucking point?
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 1:06, 2 replies)

A popular one this...
Oasis.

Liam Gallagher sounds like a man being forced to sing his maths homework at knifepoint.
(gordonjcp, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 1:03, 3 replies)

Soap operas
Utter utter utter utter utter utter wank.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 0:59, Reply)

rubbing ground glass into one's anus.
Or wanting to see someone else do it, for that matter.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 0:50, 1 reply)

People who take pride in the idea that they 'dress well'
I see the point of fashion. Dressing like a twat for a fancy dress party is all good, Getting on your best togs for going-out is grand. Girls in short skirts in summer are aces. From a goonishly sixth-form sociological sort of perspective, I understand its role in social dynamics.

But what I don't get are the clothes-whores, the shoe freaks, the make-up obsessives, whatever subset you want to highlight. The ones who cast a sneering eye over everyone else's sense of fashion, as if dressing well is the epitome of human endeavour.

What puzzles me most is that it's all such a blind alley. If you yourself are the model for your 'artistry' (I met someone who described their fashion choices exactly like this), what happens to your own sense of identity as the years pass, and everything goes south?

None of this makes me angry in any way, just a bit bemused. It strikes me as such a superficial, hollow-eyed dead-end of a pursuit that I can only say, fine, have fun, but don't be proud of it for fuckens' * sake.


* - possibly inappropiately applied apostrophes notwithstanding
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 0:45, 3 replies)

megan fox
yeah, I can see the blow-job lips, but outside of that she's just your everyday half-thumbed freak.
(smorgasbord, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 0:38, 2 replies)