Kinky sex
Just don't get it. I mean I know people who enjoy all sorts of naughtyness. I had one mate who was into bestiality, necrophilia and sadomasochism.


I told him he was just flogging a dead horse.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:13, 4 replies)

The Naughties
There have been vanishingly few decent bits of music, film, fashion... anything else that defines a decade.

Technology hasn't come on all that much. The leaps forward don't seem to be nearly as drastic or quick as they were in the 90s. Look at computers - the difference between a 1990 home PC and a 1999 home PC is immense. You could use a 2000 PC today with ease.

Ok, so my internet goes several thousand times faster and I can even get the internet on my phone but what for? Facebook, twitter, my fucking space? It's all social media and banality. The web may look amazing compared to what it was in the 90s, and the technology behind it may be amazing but it's all a load of bollocks. All the technology of this decade has done is mean I can tell the whole word when I'm waiting for a bus or going for a shit.

Bring on the next decade, I might leave the 90s then.
( CowJam, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:12, 6 replies)

Eastenders
real life is tough and difficult enough, why would I want to spent hours a week escaping into the same shit? When I want escapism, I'll not watch fake real life, I'd rather watch something honestly fake.
(DrTeeth, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:11, Reply)

What a fetid cauldron of seething hatred
this QOTW has turned into.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:10, 7 replies)

Angelina Jolie
I don't get it. I don't dislike her, or hate her or anything. I just don't see the goddess that everyone else does. I just see a lonely little girl with some issues to work out. That whole thing with keeping vials of Billy Bob Thornton's blood with her while she was married to him? That's not normal behaviour, you can call it bohemian or eccentric, but it's indicative of some serious abandonment issues, as well as the tribe of children she's intent on raising. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, she has the means to help these kids, so why not, but I just don't see her the same way as everyone else I know. I think she's damaged goods, and probably a bit dangerous.
( BlueHaze Chutney. All good., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:09, 5 replies)

Sex.
Specifically early morning sex.

Specifically grunting like pigs at 6 o fucking clock in the morning sex. When your daughter is trying to sleep in the next room.

I REALLY don't see the attraction.
(Melody was not PMSing on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:09, 22 replies)

Veneration of parenthood
To be a parent, you just have to be able to stick it/get it in the right hole. It's not clever, or hard to do. So don't expect respect if your kid is a c*nthole, just because you managed to build them.

The respect comes if you're a good parent (i.e. the kid turns out happy and not a complete blight on society).
(Mumm-ra, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:06, 2 replies)

My spleen
I've got to be careful that this doesn't become a list of pet-hates. They're similar but not what we're after here. Things that i don't understand the attraction of are:
Michael MacIntyre (sp?) - laughs/smiles at all his own jokes and talks in a silly accent. Never made me laugh.
The skinny jeans/pointy shoes/t-shirt & cardi combo/un-gelled Morissey haircut Bethnal Green look - you all look the same and all look like queers. Fuck off.
Pork pie hats on fat blokes - makes you look even fatter
Prison Break/Lost/24 - never ending shite
Gavin & Stacy (and everything else those two unfunny cunts have made)
James Cordon - fat giggling knobend
The 3rd lane of a 4-lane motorway - where every ignorant cunt in a people carrier drives his/her little darlings on the M25. Fuckheads.
T4 - pisspoor shite of the highest rank
I can't think of anything else right now.
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Russell Brand
I have a whole load of things I don't understand the appeal of, but let's start with this annoying little tosser.

He reminds me of the sort of person no-one but simpletons and sheltered, otherwise friendless girls liked at university - "He's so ZANY!" - I tired of his whimsy before I heard the end of the first sentence I heard him begin, and I find his stubbly tranny without a dress appearance tiresome in the extreme.

He's the sort of person that stupid people think they like simply because he's on television all the time.
(suckfake Frisky biscuits, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:57, 3 replies)

Scott Fucking Mills
Seriously, what is the fucking attraction of a smug, self obsessed cunt? Why the fuck did Radio 1 put him on the drive home? I'd sooner grate my own ears. And as for the 'hilarious' becky as well, I'm impressed she manages to get to work without doing herself an injury.

Fucking oxygen thieves.
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:50, 3 replies)

Meaningless abbreviations
What's "Init. Form. E."?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Why not just call this, "things I don't like", and be done with it?
Instead of dressing it up a bit.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:46, 2 replies)

I'm going to have to say it
lolcats.

Sorry, but a picture of a cat with "hilariously mis-spelt" captions just isn't that fucking funny.
(d371ght back again since, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:39, 8 replies)

The force
It's just a hokey old religion and no match for a good blaster.

Yrs,

H Solo
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Law
I used to work as a solicitor specialising in helping those whose original convictions may have been in error, but then I went blind and now I just can't see the appeal.
(Sir Harrington Titsmith disgraced himself on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Jacket Potatoes
LIKE WTF Jacket Potatoes!!!!

You get a bland, tasteless experience and when you question it the people say "Oh well its ok if you put a truck load of beans, cheese and other crap over it it tastes great".!!!!

Now if i were to eat a lump of shit and said "its ok I covered it in champagne and chocolate sause so it tastes great" youd complain but that is pretty much what people are doing with them.

"Yes your 80 year old Grandmother's vagina smells of piss and shit but if i eat 4009 polos first its not so bad giving her oral, infact its quite minty".......

I love Veg and Potatoes but never seen the point in eating something so bloody boring just because "it tastes good with things on".
(snarf81, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:34, 11 replies)

Three word Replies
Don't understand it
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:31, 5 replies)

Diagnosis Murder
is ace.
(Sir Harrington Titsmith disgraced himself on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:27, 1 reply)

Blunt pencils
They're pointless.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:15, 2 replies)

Finding fuckin' Nemo
Gasp, yes, I said it, I don't like one of the Pixar animasterpieces.

Now, I for one love watching films and can usually appreciate them for whatever content they include, so this isn't one of those "It wasn't funny" rants (I for one loved Wall-e and that wasn't hilarious).

It's just that it isn't... Anything. It's well animated but it's such a nothingy film that totally lacks Pixar's usual penchant for subtext and allegory (Monster's Inc being a comment on the energy crisis, Wall-e being about the environment, etc) as well as being devoid of original concepts (Oh, a fish with a short memory. How did they think of that one?) and it's totally devoted to the belief that a turtle who sounds like a stoner is the pinaccle of clever film making.

The only part I even remotely enjoyed was watching the seagulls talk in different languages on the DVD extras.

In short, it's bullshit, and I cry whenever I see it on the IMDb top 250 list.
(Uhmfhshhghd, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:15, 7 replies)

football
overpaid ponces running around after a ball.
OK i can understand the attraction if *you* are the one running after the ball, or if the ball chaser is a 6 year old progeny of your loins, but seriously.... 90 minutes of this????
(essexfriend, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:11, Reply)

Dizzee Rascal
Just some illiterate tw*t with a lisp talking about how great he is, Well I've got something to say...... FU*K OFF YOU TALENTLESS CU*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S if you ever care to re-invent yourself then next time dont choose a name you cant even pronounce with your lisp.... Dithy Wathcle... nob.
(Elvis The Kestrel Squaaaaaark, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:10, 7 replies)

Aston Villa
They wear pink and powder blue.
Their fans have ONE song! ONE F****** song!
They live in the past...reminiscing about former glory days.
Emile Heskey.

(O'Neil is OK though)
(pastcaring trembling in a corner....., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 15:03, 2 replies)

pubs
What people want:
- a nice conversation with their friends
- a lovely alcoholic beveredge of their choice, served in the right glass, at the right temperature and accompanied by their favourite kind of nut/chip/olive/tapas
- their favourite music playing in the background
- comfy chairs
- safety and no fine for drunken driving
- a clean toilet
Where to get it: at home.

Instead, people seems to prefer pubs to fulfill the above-mentioned needs, yet this is what they get:

- a semi-dark room filled with smoke and other undefined but horrible smells
- either badly served foamless beer or sour wine in a glass that still has the previous girls lipstick on it
- a ruined voice and ears due to a failed attempt at conversation over the loud and obnoxious music.
- wobbly barstools
- the risk of ending up either dead (because some drunk crashed into your car) or fined (for drunken driving), or both (in case you drunkenly fell off a wobbly barstool)
- peanuts that have been in closer contact with the toilet than you'd ever want to be yourself.

Seriously, can someone please explain me what is so good about pubs that you'd be willing to put up with all that for?
(Poezestrepe, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:56, 18 replies)

Big tits!
What's the point? More than a handful is a waste. As they get older they get lower, ending up swinging around like a couple of saggy ballons filled with tepid water.
(pastcaring trembling in a corner....., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:54, 11 replies)

I won't be alone
Loud pubs/bars - Does anyone actually like being in a place where they can't hear anyone else without ripping a vocal cord?

Girls covered in shit loads, or indeed, more than a tiny bit of makeup. I hate the stuff. It looks bloody stupid up close and it's just lies, really.

Jet black/platinum blonde hair and a bovril tan. You. Look. Stupid. Come to think of it you look stupid with any colour hair and that obviously fake tan.

The Sun. The Mail. The Mirror - Big phat fuck you. Rags that I wouldn't wipe my arse with.

Reality TV/ celebrity wank/ The Twat Factor - The world would be a better place without.

And finally, people getting in a rage about things that don't really matter.
I'm going to go and give some money to charity.
*rage*
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:54, Reply)

dog coats
for women of a certain age, putting coats on dogs is very popular. these women are fucking idiots. why would a dog need a coat? nature has already given it a perfectly good fur coat.
and hats? little boots? christmas outfits? wtf?
every time i see one of those little ratlike terriers wearing a tartan coat or, even worse, a yellow sou'wester, i want to slap its owner very, very hard.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:45, Reply)

HD TV
Looks exactly the same to me
(xerophytic has no idea, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:45, 2 replies)

Oasis
I really never got the whole hype surrounding Oasis in the 90's.
(Andino, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:43, 2 replies)