Trolling on the internet
Why would anyone want to do this? There is absolutely no benefit to insulting and swearing at a stranger on the internet. If you don't agree with someone's opinions, ignore it or argue with them rationally.
(mariam67, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 18:29, 7 replies)

I don't understand dressing in black past the age of 15
Don't get me wrong, some of my best mates are confirmed metalheads and I've been known to dabble on occasion (Cult of Luna FTW) but that doesn't mean you have to live it 24/7 does it? Black combats, black boots and a (usually faded) black t-shirt emblazoned with the indecypherable logo of some obscure Norwegien band is the daily uniform suited to and all situations. I have a friend who hasn't owned a pair of jeans in 12 years. And they go out in all weathers in the same stuff. Hot summers day? Black t-shirt. Depths of winter? Black t-shirt. Talk about leaving me cold, how do you not get hypothermia?

Also, get a haircut and have a shave. And stop looking down your nose at me because I'm able to listen to Avenged Sevenfold without gagging. Getting all judgemental over listening to a band from your particular genre. Imagine that.

I hope that should you wish to flame me it's because you don't understand why I don't understand living a genre of music.
(Rilux might be pregnant and has bum-aids, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 18:24, 5 replies)

Flight of the Conchords
Is this supposed to be funny?
see also'Curb your enthusiasm'.

There's a lot of hate for 'Twilight'. Is it really that bad?
(kilt101, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 18:22, 4 replies)

Friends
Worst show ever.
(mariam67, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 18:05, 1 reply)

WHAT THE SHUDDERING SHAG?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8316687.stm

WHY? She cannot sing for toffee, her voice is grating and irritating, so much so I'd rather have La Roux on loop for 5 hours directly into my brain (she's another singer that gets my goat)

What the hell is wrong with people?

Edit: For anyone who hasn't heard it or even if you haven't seen the video of her dancing in her jimjams look here..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMiy_UsrPDs
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:44, 1 reply)

J-Pop
I was a manga and anime fan back in the 90s when the previous wave hit the UK, only to eventually recede in the face of tabloid squawking about animated video nasties. As a trainee weeaboo before the term was even coined, it made sense that the music of mainstream Japan would hold equal fascination and novelty for me. Nope, its day-glo cheeriness, insipid lyrical content and latent disposability rubbed me up the wrong way even back then.

I gave it a proper chance, but it did and continues to do nothing for me. It always seemed weirdly incongruous that an anime about massive fucking robots would be bookended by some waif squeaking about the vagaries of love against a backing track that would embarass a Eurovision entry.

It seemed mystifyingly bad in the 90s, and it appears to be even worse now. Dunno. Maybe my irony gland has packed up.
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:42, 2 replies)

Slash Fiction!
Why the hell do people want to read/write about two people that don't exist or they don't know boning each other up the arse?!
(Melody was not PMSing on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:41, 2 replies)

Obama
I'm sure he's a lovely man and very kind to kittens. I'm equally sure that he's not much more of a leader than a bottle of beer. It's nothing to do with his politics, since I was never going to be fond of them. It's just a bit boring that people love him so much.

And this one might be unpopular- hen nights. I love a good party, or even a really bad party with lots of booze. But I genuinely cannot understand the penis rulers, pink fluffy wings, the 'I'm a slut for tonight badges' etc. It looks very cold, and I'm not really a massive fan of single sex gatherings. Luckily I'm not really yet of an age where I've had to worm out of many. Plus who in hell wants to be a hen?!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:35, 3 replies)

Twilight
Vampires are supposed to be dangerous blood-suckers. Not sparkly over-sensitive twat-bags.
(justforlaughs, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:24, 2 replies)

Spray tan
Sorry if its already been said, too many replies to catch up on.
What is the attraction of being sprayed orange and looking like an oompah loompah?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:15, 1 reply)

F**K
People when typing swear words but replace letters with *'s.

If your going to say fuck, say fuck.

Now please fuck off!
( Thickey, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:08, 5 replies)

getting tenuous now
I was watching The New Avengers the other day, I thought it was the original Avengers, and because of that, I didn't see Emma Peel
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:07, Reply)

Death Metal (and related genres)
Can someone enlighten me as to how people can listen to someone screaming "Rawwr rawwr rawwr" into microphone?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:05, 15 replies)

I hate being kidnapped
by a load of crazed necrophilliacs who murder me, then jack off over my still twitching corpse.

Leaves me cold just as much as it turns everyone else on.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 17:00, 3 replies)

Reinventions
of old QOTWs. Either have a Part 2 (like last week), or don't bother.

Inspired by
www.b3ta.com/questions/huh/
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:54, 1 reply)

The phrase
'nom nom nom'.
For the unfamiliar, this is a thing that idiots say when they are trying to convey that they a) find the item under discussion delicious, b) have just eaten something delicious, or c) are hungry. It's moronic. It is just so repellently twee. It makes my skin crawl. Also, everyone I have ever heard say this or seen type it has been a fatty.

Oh, and coriander. Fucking hate the stuff.
(jennymnemonic, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:51, 4 replies)

computer games
Now, letting your kids hide in their rooms for hours on end on a console until they get rickets because they see so little daylight should be classed as a form of neglect.

My grief is with people who mock computer games like they're some kind of niche perversion. These people will happily watch a DVD for 2hrs, but playing a video game for 2 hours is just as entertaining and has the added bonus that it's interactive. And the work that goes into creating a new game is on par with some movies. Yet if you say you played a game for 2 hours, they label you as a geek.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:45, 2 replies)

Furries.

This sort of thing gives you the horn?

You animal fucking freak.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:35, 12 replies)

RIGHT you slack jawed retards. This is it. Typing words like a child on b3ta.
Nobody, nobody ever thought you were cute when you were 14 years old in a shell suit and Reebok Pumps saying words or phrases like "Luffly" and "Awwwwww. Yous are cutes!!" did they?
So why do you harp on like this now when you're 30, overweight and sat in an office in Dudley?

If you ran your hot air balloon on a gut through a tub of glue, dived into a box of the fluffiest feathers and looked like a fucking Ewok (I'm tailoring this to the target audience), nothing would change. You'd STILL be that fucking freak talking like a mongoloid.
If you rolly-polly fitness fighters spent ONE HALF HOUR speaking like "Ims goin on to da intranets!" you'd either get your heads filled in off some ASBO wielding thugs, or questioned over whether or not you have dodgy photos on your laptop.
And this would be one of the rare times I helped out those little ASBO fuckers. You fucking freak.

"Teh". You FAT, FUCKING, RETARD. That better be a typo.
That was shit 7 years ago. Now it's making b3ta, a one time bastion of glorious internet look like an AOL chat room.


And kittens don't talk.
SPASTIC.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:20, 20 replies)

excessive facial piercings
i dont really get it. i'm assuming it's an attention seeking thing but it's not particularly shocking* it just makes you look - well a bit manky.

*i did see a pic of a bifurcated penis held together with seemingly half a plumbers toolbag. there was a brief shock reaction but that quickly melted into simply - why on earth would you do that?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:13, 6 replies)

Fireworks
They're just lights that make a loud noise in a freezing field! and they're all the same!!
(Clashrock is being stalked by his brother on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:09, 5 replies)

NASCAR
Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
( cackers, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:05, 2 replies)

You Won't Like Me When Im Angry
Peter 'Fucking' Kay, quite simply the broadest, unfunniest, wanksock of a comedian I have ever had the pain of sitting through. I could quite easily pull his nails off with pliers whilst skull fucking him with the femur of a small Somalian child.

Don't get me wrong, Phoenix Nights was a little bit of a gem, but with every painful new DVD release and TV show it becomes more apparent that the success of Phoenix nights was down to Dave Spikey.

He's loud, obnoxious, unfunny, arrogant, steals other comedians jokes and fucking ugly. He's the McDonalds of comedians, he's found a recipe that agrees with the retarded masses and he just recycles and recycles it to death (there must be at least 20 varieties of the Garlic Bread joke). I could quite happily massacre by association, slaying down anyone with a dvd, book, mug, keyring, ringtone or Peter Kay branded chipmunk (available soon).

Catchphrases suck dick, Peter Kay loves the cock and his mum takes it up the Arse.
(McJuurgensHaircut is authorised and regulated by your mum., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:04, 1 reply)

Hmmmmmmm
A disturbance in the force I feel. Much anger in this QOTW there is.

Anger leads to hate, hate leads to fear, fear leads to s-u-f-f-e-r-i-n-g...

A Jedi you will be not...
( SpankyHanky, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:00, 11 replies)

downloading content for a mobile phone
Well, pix, video clips and ringtones. They're overpriced and don't see why people pay for it. Games maybe, they're an interactive bit of distraction when on the bus/train (and turn the sound off).

But songs? transfer them onto the phone from your computer. Same goes for wallppers.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:57, 3 replies)

How to turn me into a murderer (quickly)
There’s something that’s absolutely guarenteed to have my eyes glazing over and my head slumping forward faster than rohypnol-spiked good looking girl in an Essex nightclub (which is really fucking fast if you have to ask). Its when someone gets out their new mobile and starts showing me all the fantastic, facinating, life-affirming features. Oooh, this one’s got bluetooth! MY FUCKING GRAN’S GOT BLUE TEETH! YOU DON’T FIND ME SHOWING OFF ABOUT IT! Ahhhh, this one’s got a touch screen! SO FUCKING WHAT?!? DO I INVITE YOU ROUND TO MY HOUSE TO SHOW YOU HOW TO PROGRAM MY FUCKING DVD PLAYER?!? NO!!! WHY?!? BECAUSE IT’S REALLY FUCKING D-U-L-L, THAT’S FUCKING WHY!!!

And the coup de grace, the momement my killswitch engages and I rip the fucking phone out of my mate’s hand and proceed to beat them to death with it, is when they start showing off the hundred or so ringtones...

For fucks sake, you heard the Spanish guitar ringtone on a fucking Nokia? Its enough to give you rabies.
(Pastabator earned his brown wings with your girlfriend on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:52, Reply)

I just don't get
1. Not Reading

Why are some people so proud of the fact they don't read books? As in ever. There were a couple of people I went to Uni with who hadn't read a novel of any description since English lessons at school. These people are also mildly obsessed with the crappy "lifestyle" magazines.

Nothing beats the escapism of a good book, especially one like Unseen Academicals which I got last week. And have read twice already.

2. Television

Or more specifically, advert-filled lowest common denominator television. In the 20-odd pages so far this has been ranted about far more eloquently than I ever could, so I'm not going to re-hash the topic again. I've not had a television license for the past couple of years and I don't miss it one bit. Except possibly Mythbusters and Bones... ho hum.

3. Twilight

There is no limit to my distaste for this series of vomit-inducing, badly written attempt at fiction. I still haven't forgiven the friend who told me it was "good."
(Meya, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:39, 8 replies)

Remixes
I don't get remixes. They've been around ever since I was knee-high to a shortarse, and I've never figured out what pleasure there is to be gained from them. Granted, some give a song a whole new feel, but they account for around 0.00000000000001%. The rest seem to consist of;
- Thudding beat
- Thudding beat stops, then starts again
- 30 seconds later, very dull bassline begins
- 30 seconds after that, tiniest sample of the guitar begins looping
- Vocals begin, synthesised to buggery so it sounds like the song's being performed by a talking birthday card
- Drop in the bit where it sounds like it's being played down a phone
- Gradual realisation that that's it for the next eight minutes, and all the interesting bits of the original track have been stripped out.

I realise the remix used to be handy for filling up the space on the other side of a single or justifying the 'bonus' CD of a Greatest Hits, and maybe this is where my bafflement has come from; I grew up having rubbish remixes foisted upon me by the likes of the cassingle (some CD singles boasted up to SEVEN remixes of the same track, all dull as balls), whereas ver yoof these days can cherry-pick the tracks they want online and leave the filler behind. And maybe remixes have got better these days because they're being made for love of music, rather than because the artist can't be arsed to write a B-side.

Actually, it gets worse; Do you remember the fad around 8 years ago of everything being remixed by Stargate? These people took any old cack (a prime example being Toploader's 'Dancing in the Moonlight') and provided a 'remix', which consisted of them occasionally stopping the track and muttering "Here we go" in the gap. Then getting paid. The bastards.

N.B. Yes, I am fully away that I'm completely wrong and I obviously haven't heard the storming new Basement Contrast Audio Dog remix of the latest Rex the High Jaxx Bullies track which is currently 'killing it' - Let's just say for argument's sake that I have heard it and consider it to be in the 0.00000000000001% of good ones, along with Fatboy Slim's 'Brimful of Asha' and the 12" mix of MC Miker G & DJ Sven's 'Holiday Rap'
(costas, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:28, 7 replies)

Second time coz i read the question wrong
Im at work so must list quick
Lady gaga
Ford Ka's
Whiskey
films by orson welles,
michael jackson
or warhammer 40k
(Original Badman Is easily amused by the word chumbawumba, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:26, 5 replies)

I don't get.......
fans of:- The Office, X Factor, Loose Women, reading the daily mail, why dogs drag their arses across the carpet (and why it amuses me so much), xbox players who pay for a subscription to play online, dickheads who enjoy reading everyone's facebook statuses (especially at weekends) and then telling all and sundry - get a life, have you got nothing else to do? Mathematics, old people doing shopping in the supermarket on a Friday - it's young people's pay day so fuck off and do it on a Monday - any day actually other than Friday or Saturday, mobility scooters, nosey bitch neighbours who accuse you of stealing POT PLANTS!!!! Oldies obbessions with:- gardening, garden centres, Alan Titchmarsh, knowing species of plants..... anything fucking plant related! Why now when any "celeb" dies we have to have 24 hour coverage via sky news, hypocrites who say smokers should be denied access to the NHS etc etc - we pay enough in the taxes so let us smoke ourselves to death.... Piers Morgan, tree huggers, greenpeace, relgion......... that's it for now......
(Pumba Look for the red flashing light again... no!!!!!, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 15:16, 1 reply)