I don't understand the attraction...
of people saying they don't understand the attraction.

Can't you just accept the fact that sometimes in life someone else will like something that you don't? Is it really that difficult?
(Flap Burger hasn't really got a burger made of flaps, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 8:02, 2 replies)

My Grandad
He had, what would now probably be termed a form of Autism. Anyway, in WW2 he was conscripted and ended up in Monty's 8th Army in North Africa. He showed an aptitude for logistics and sorting things out so was transferred to the Logistics Coorps where he was a sort of warehouse manager. It was odd though, despite dispatching numerous lorries loaded with supplies and munitions to help support the front line troops efforts, he never really understood why the fighting was occuring. I guess you could say he never understood theatre action.

(sorryfor length, but hey its cold outside).
(kitescreech still here, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 7:52, Reply)

Football, real and american
I don't get them either. I'm american, and thik ours is stupid so I'm and outcast. None of it makes sense and I used to play in high school. Now real football is even more confusing, it's boring too. I can easily kick a ball in a big ass net, but is someone's in that way, I'm aiming the ball for his nuts. Every time. That's prolly why I got cut. And you're giving me a card?
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 5:55, 2 replies)

Sickipedia
I mean, its the same jokes over and over. Why is the latency so high? Does everyone love typing new variants of jokes? I don't get why. Even though I be merkan, I do get the jokes, but I read them all a long time ago. It's really just a current event updater and source of news now, like david schwimmer dying. Oh, and where Maddie is, which is at least 50 Fritz-esque basements. Sorry for trailing off. Please tell me what the attraction is.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 5:44, 2 replies)

Christmas
I'm sorry for the length. It was meant to be a short one but I got set off on a rant and couldn't stop.

I hate christmas for a few reasons.

1- the fucking crass over advertising which have started around now. For fucks sake there's 2 fucking months left before christmas, I don't give a fuck about your jolly holly or your fucking nintendo wii backstreet abortion game for 90 quid. I really couldn't give a toss.

2- The hype that morons seem to join in on, even more so when I mention I hate christmas. "Oh, you grinch." "scrooge" "get into the festive spirit you fat bastard." Fuck off.

3- People being nice just because it's christmas. Here's an idea; be nice for the full fucking year, not because it's the birthday of a fairly nice chap who lived a long time ago.

4- Christmas day itself. Wake up, spend time with family opening presents and shit. I can get behind that. It's about 2pm when my problems with christmas day really start. The food's been finished everything's boring and the only thing that's left to do is get horribly pissed until you pass out so tomorrow will come faster.

5- the dicks across the road who have too many christmas lights on their houses. It's tacky, expensive and too bright for me to fucking sleep. You shits.

Halloween annoys me too. But I can avoid that by sitting in with 8 cans of kestrel, discovery channel and a baseball bat incase any little shits egg the house.

The sea Don't go in the sea, it's full of shit that will sting you and kill you.

People who moan and bitch about chemical ingredients in food and claim to eat "all natural" food. I'm not saying we should all live off of processed sugar and synthesised protein in a lab but don't go the other way and eat stuff you grew in the dirt in your garden where the neighbours cat probably shits on your carrots. Also, nature's a fucker. Nature is full of shit that will kill you, make your shits sting and become fluid. Even if you want to do it, stop telling me like it makes you a better person. I don't care.

Metrosexuals. What the fuck is wrong with men being men and women being women? Men are meant to get dirty, play sports, fix things, break things, dance poorly and enjoy blowing shit up. Men are not meant to spend an hour getting ready, having a bath with candles and those fucking bath salts, bitch about their friends behind their back, bitch about their feelings (whatever happened to the strong silent type?), drink that bland alcopop horse shit and dance well.

American football. I excluded baseball because I can't stand cricket either, but that's because of a robbing in jamaica I experienced when I was younger. It's too slow. 5 seconds of action, 1 minute people standing round discussing what to do next whilst some commentator breaks down the play into the most boring building blocks ever. times this by 20 for each team. Then comes the end of the quarter and with it the start of 20 minutes of adverts which is more time spent on adverts for shit you don't need than is spent watching the sport.

The smoking ban. I get why you might not want to smell stale smoke and I can concede that's fair play. However the smoking ban has gone too far. The latest research has disputed the fact that with proper ventilation second hand smoke is harmless. We knew this before the ban came into action, but that wasn't good enough. The smokers had to be made social outcasts and forced outside. Why not have the choice to be a smoking pub or a non-smoking pub? Why not give adults the choice to smoke or not? Instead of scare-mongering people into the belief that they'll die if they sit near a smoker for 5 minutes while he or she has a cig. Present the facts as they are and let well informed adults make the choice of whether they want to go into the smoking pub or go down the road to a non smoking pub.

Waking up. Sleep is massively under rated. It's free, fun and good for you. I enjoy sleeping, don't wake me up at 10AM on a saturday morning after I've been out because "I'm sleeping the day away." Fuck the day. It's too bright, there are too many idiots awake in the day and I'm just going to be bored in the day now. At least if I'm asleep I'm entertaining myself for free.

Other people, with their happiness, their healthy relationships and their good looks. Fuck them.

Length? well, you can understand why I'm not in a relationship when you see it.
(Hitler's other ball. R soul., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 4:54, 20 replies)

Spanky Hanky
I really don't understand the attraction. I don't think he's at all funny.

Frankspencer is much better.

That is all.
(it would be funny if they were the same person, huh?)
(Monkee girl not a monkee, not a girl, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 3:59, 6 replies)

I'm not sure that the example given
in the header really is something that 'everyone gets'.

Personally I find most Ricky Gervais lesbian porn revolting.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 3:16, Reply)

My grandfather
invested heavily in hydroelectric power, and supported the idea very strongly (he was a well-known businessman). This was despite the fact that one of 'his' projects flooded a game preserve where he took clients and friends on hunting trips.

When anyone raised this apparent incongruity with him, he was wont to reply "Frankly, my deer? I don't give a dam."
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 3:15, Reply)

Hair colour
I don’t understand why international female film stars and supermodels use home hair colouring kits.
I mean, they endorse the product, so of course they would use them at home surely?

Why can’t they pop down the hairdresser? Are they short of money? Perhaps they can’t get out of their houses because of the 10,000 paparazzi camera flashes going off in their faces. I really feel sorry for them. At least I can afford to go to the hairdresser. So I guess I'm better off than a supermodel. Yes?
(Monkee girl not a monkee, not a girl, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 2:54, 2 replies)

People who just don't understand the attraction of things...
What the hell?

It's like you know, whatever and shit. Shit and stuff etc.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 2:36, Reply)

People who don't "get" Twitter
Twitter is used to share information. It's all about the people you link with. I live in China and am into politics so I link to Westerners living in China, politicians and journalists. Sometimes they might do a "Had toast this morning" tweet, but more often they post interesting links to news stories or photos, or anything interesting on the internet. You can have discussions or ask questions and often get a knowledgable reply. I've got to know a fair number of people in the city I live in purely through Twitter.

Idiots who link to celebs, do an @stephenfry tweet and then get offended because he doesn't reply only have themselves to blame.
(McChinaman banned, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 2:32, 2 replies)

i dont get the meat puppet nonsense
i post here every bastard week

i am not bloody 'flidmong'
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 1:23, 5 replies)

what a miserable lot
meh
(goorf, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 1:05, Reply)

Poys/Pois - WTF
Get to fuck, you fucking faux hippy cunts. It's for kid's and mongs to entertain themselves for fucks sake.
(Teamspunk Is putting the spunk in steampunk, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 1:00, 4 replies)

Facebook
well not all of it just the become a fan section. I dont need to know that 3 of my friends are now a fan of orange juice. Or that this certain person have become a fan of methadone. Oh now that's i've thought of it farmville as well its just boring and monotonous when you really think about it,
(beneathawindowssevensky is like a psychaldelic bus ride through the mind, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 0:43, Reply)

I have just...
Clicked onto my profile to change somat and realised it's my b3ta birthday!

As I do understand the attraction in this, I shouldn't really be posting this here, but I am happy.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 0:01, 1 reply)

My wife
Told some mormons to fuck off the other day. I wasn't there. She's always telling me about that happening. I never get to see a tract shun.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 23:34, Reply)

Bringing up stuff that happened...
years ago and/or stuff that has nothing to do with you in an attempt to 'hurt' someone.

Just makes you look pathetic :)
(Melody was not PMSing on, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 23:09, Reply)

Award ceremonies
Just heard that Katie Price is favourite to win "Celebrity Mother of the Year".

Give me strength.

Why does the BBC send a team on a jolly to the Oscars every year to report on American film awards? To quote a previous winner: "Frankly my dear, I don't give a shittingcuntingfuck".
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:39, 1 reply)

ADHD
Nobody had it when I was at school. They were just hypperactive. Now they get told they've got ADHD, and act up to it. It's just an excuse for being a little git.
(youwhat? braaaaap, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:31, 4 replies)

Twitter
Tried it, hate it.
(DownhillGardener no-one does it like that anymore, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:23, 1 reply)

SingStar
I hate to sing, yet people insist I'd enjoy SingStar if I were drunk with a bunch of friends. Face it, drinking isn't going to change the fact that I'm singing a bad cover of some chart-topping bullcrap all so I can win at a game that a baby could cheat.

Now Guitar Hero, there's a game to play drunk!
(ElGranto, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 22:20, Reply)

Jessica Alba
I mean, I understand that generally female actors who are also sex symbols tend to have a lot less of a public personality than male ones. You look at George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, they all have distinct personalities. Most female sex symbols don't.

Some of them were just born without them, look at Jessica Biel, or indeed Jessica Simpson, they just seem like they're naturally boring people. Jessica Alba seems like her agent turned to her at some point in her early career and said "Jess, can I call you Jess? Great, you're really taking off, but I think people find you too independent and thoughtful, can you dumb it down? Maybe glaze over your eyes slightly so you look dead inside? That's it, perfect, now you look like a zombie whore."

So yeah.

Still would though.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 21:44, Reply)

Birds
They look nice (some of them) but they are thick.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 21:40, 8 replies)

New Year's Eve
Organised happiness at its worst. Everywhere packed, even the pubs charge entry, no taxis home, basically everything that would ruin any normal evening all concentrated on one night. And just when you think it can't get any worse you have to link hands and sing Auld Lang fucking Syne.
(lolwhites, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 21:36, 4 replies)

The hero worship for the Foo Fighters
Just a dull formulaic band (and not the "next Zeppelin")
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 21:25, 8 replies)

The Snark mentions liquorice (does that differ from liquorish)
This i do not get. Surely it is well documented that this foul substance tastes exactly the same as licking a dogs bottom.

As a child someone producing a box (remember sweets in boxes) of Allsorts was enough to make me run*.

I cant go Ouzo or Pernod either. Disgusting tart fuel for rough bints on package holidays.

*Probably saved me a good bumming from nonces though.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 20:48, 13 replies)

Inappropriate high fives
just fuck off , trigger fingers is bad enough but at least I can just look blankly at you , but high fives ?

Fuck off
( fudboy high ideals and crazy dreams, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 20:44, 2 replies)

is it just me
there's been a few posts about Ricky Gervais. I wasn't mad keen on extras but i've see all three of his stand up's and i think they're excellent. (i refuse to use LOL)

is it just fashionable to slag the successful now?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 20:19, 12 replies)

Curb Your Enthusiasm
I tried so so hard... just couldn't see the attraction...

backlash about to start I'm sure!
(whatktdid, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 20:17, 5 replies)