Popcorn
Dunno if it's common, but my heart sinks when I'm in the cinema and someone sits near me carrying a skip full of popcorn and a vat of Fanta, then proceeds to crunch their way through it while I'm trying to watch the film. Then they insist on slurping up the last drop of their fizzy, sugary caffeinated beverage through their straw as loudly as possible. Then they unwrap their sweets very, very slowly, as if that's somehow going to deaden the sound.

At least when people talk you can tell them to shut up, but they get their food in the foyer. Who ever starved to death during a film FFS?
(lolwhites, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:01, 10 replies)

Apparently
it's common to put the toilet paper a certain way round, and I always used to change it round in my boyfriend's mum's house. She always changed it back though, she thought i were a bit common for him i think.
(rosie-pie, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:00, 2 replies)

Gah
"Can I have a lend of that?" No, but you may borrow it, you common oaf.
( paulieg La, la, la, not listening, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:59, 1 reply)

Manager
I FUCKING HATE WEARING TIES SERIOUSLY THEY ARE JUST FUCKING ANNOYING AND IF MY MANAGER SAYS PUT YOUR TIE ON ONCE MORE IM GOING TO FUCKING MAKE HER EAT MY TIE!

Thanks for listening :o)
(jigsaw Meh... Is it Friday yet?!?!?!, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:59, 9 replies)

.
Being concerned with what is common, and what isn't common is so déclassé.
(ohmyliver, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Here is a bit of a pet hate of mine
I used to work in Chester at a popular Telecom provider who happens to be British. As a temp I worked with a broad cross section of people (posh students and some ne'er do wells as well).

Now for anyone who lives in chester knows, there is a rough estate called the Lache (pronounced like lace but in a Sean Connery Accent)

I was chatting to this one guy (Glenn) and we got chatting to about where we were from and he said he was from Chester and lived in the Lahshay, at mention of this place I had no idea where he was from till one of the other guys piped up with 'Don't you mean the Lache?'

To which Glen gave a silent nod...

I've got some other stories about Glen and when the appropriate QOTW comes up I'll post them!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:55, 6 replies)

Common
Sometimes I wear my slippers to go out shopping and will also mispronounce certain words.


I'm not because common, its because I have Alzheimer's.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:50, Reply)

Slough suburbs
No one actually lives in Slough - people will tell you they live in Cippenham, Eton Wick or Windsor..

Do these people think that by making up a slightly posher suburb it will make them sound less common? Probably happens with every big town..

And yes, I do know that Slough is a complete shit hole
(mejt, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:45, 6 replies)

Common?
I'll show you common.

Look at these cunts, living off rubbish, bindipping and naming their kids after holiday destinations.

SCUM.


( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:38, 3 replies)

Sneering at the lower classes.
Now that's PROPER common.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:37, Reply)

Lunch at the mall.
Our house only had mirrors, no looking-glasses. We have lunch in the middle of the day and dinner at night, but use serviettes and often eat pudding with a single implement. Confused? That's me.

One of my great great etc grandfathers was transported here for something or other. A few generations before that another forebear got condemned to death for stealing a bull from the New South Wales government and then selling it back to them. In pieces. Sentence commuted on a Christmas Eve by Lachlan Macquarie. Thanks, Lach old mate, you were a good bloke.

So being common I was eating lunch at a shopping mall the other day (sliced beef soup from the Vietnamese) when fiftyish woman sat down right in front of me.

To call her stocky would have been an understatement. A good head of red-brown hair, quite nice if it had been cleaner. She clutched a large sized malted milk, a bag of hot chips from the cheapest place in the mall and a container of that brown salty stuff they call "gravy".

She peeled the lid from the gravy container, took a glace at it and licked it - on the inside. Not once, five or six times, taking particular care with the crusty bits around the edges.

I didn't hang about to see if she got her money's worth from the inside of the container.
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Big Screen
Pubs with those white banners out the front advertising 'Big Screen Sports', 'Live Sky Sports' and variations.
They might as well put 'This place is full of slopey-headed, shiny track suited, loud mouthed, sweary, tattooed, pissy lager drinking dole scum.'
Be a big banner though.
(Alf N. Safety - refusing you planning permission on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:32, 1 reply)

Lavatory
I work in a smallish building in a car park in an airport, renting cars to people. We get to see all sorts of people mooching past. I even saw Noel Edmunds once. Oh and the Hamiltons!!


We were outside having a fag break one time when a rather large welsh girl wandered up to us and said 'ere, you got a toilet in there?' I said yes indeed we do, and she then proceeded to yell at the top of her voice, in a broad welsh accent,

'MA!! MA!! I'M GOING FOR A PISS IN'YERE!!!'


Oh it was funny.
(Hovercat, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:32, 1 reply)

Pigeon Chavs
Me and Mrs. Bad_Dogg moved into our house nearly two years ago and the it was a nice quiet neighbourhood.

We live in an old picturesque terraced cottage with a quiet old lady on the one side and a pigeon fancying family on the other.

I get home one day minding my own business when I hear a blazing row between the mother and the 18 year old daughter. It soon becomes clear that she's pregnant (the daughter). Much arguing insues with liberal uses of the 'F' word.

Anyhow, to cut a long story short, the parents move out and leave the daughter and her chap to live in the house which is for sale. Now these 2 can argue, every other word is f*ck, and they've got more dogs than the RSPCA. Sometimes the arguement will spill out onto the street with him storming off saying f*cking this, f*cking that and her shreiking something you can't understand. Some days he'll say something classy like he'd f*cking hit her if she wasn't f*cking pregnant.

Now these 2 are what I call common!

We keep hoping someone will buy their house, but it's an overpriced sh*t-tip that will never sell, let alone in the current climate.

Other things I consider common are:
- Bacardi Breezers
- Ford Focus (Fords in general really)
- Staffordshire Bull Terriers

I'm getting quite snobby in my old age ;)
(Bad_Dogg, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:31, 11 replies)

Judging by the invite
The future parents-in-law think she is common
invite

Any idea why?

the bride
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:31, 6 replies)

People who say "illuminous"
To describe something brightly-coloured. Usually their high-viz Kappa trackie jacket. Even if it is a word, you only ever hear chavs say it, so therefore it is common by default.
(claireyfairy There's a smell in here that will outlast religion, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:30, Reply)

living vicariously
Women who dress like their teenage daughters. Urgh.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:28, Reply)

"Off" instead of "from"
as in, "I got it off, John".

Try telling someone they're wrong and they'll laugh at you.

rafter (is not common)
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:24, 8 replies)

St. Evenage
Those people who call St. Evenage Stevenage.
FFS he is the patron saint of chavs after all.
(Alf N. Safety - refusing you planning permission on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:21, 1 reply)

Part 4
Basingstoke, Swindon, Milton Keynes, Borehamwood, Fareham, Gravesend, Nottingham, Birmingham, Trowbridge, Andover, High Wycombe, Slough, Northampton, Colchester, Sheffield, Luton, Bedford, Corby, Bexhill, Crewe, Newbury, Coventry, Leicester, Grimsby, Telford, Merthyr Tydfil, Staines, Tamworth, Didcot.
( lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:20, 5 replies)

I am from common Essex stock
Prince Charles is talking to his mummy and asks about a forthcoming engagement in Essex. He is not sure what headware to take with him, but HRH Mummy gives guidance.
The following week he travels to a lovely little town called Braintree in Essex and arrives at the engagement in his gaz guzzling vehicle. He steps out of the car, with a piece of dead fox millinery – tail hanging down the back like Davy Crockett.

The crowd go into a frenzy, and throw sticks, stones and items from his Duchy of Cornwall range of expensive goods for the common man. He returns to his vehicle, quite distressed and unsure of exactly what happened.

When he returns to the palace, he asks HRH why did she recommend that he wore a piece of vulpine millinery?

She said “You will never be King silly boy. I said “Braintree in Essex – where the fox hat?” “

(say it out loud like the queen would)
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:18, 1 reply)

British teenagers who...
...wear a "tux" to their "prom". Ugh.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:13, Reply)

I used to think Tom Jones was quite common
but then somebody told me that it's not unusual.

_sorry
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:09, Reply)

The term The Credit Crunch.
It's a major recession. Sorry.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:07, 2 replies)

A girl I work with...
...says "arksed" instead of "asked" and "was" when she should say "were". It's like nails on a blackboard. She's thick as pigshit but that's no excuse for lazy grammar!
(claireyfairy There's a smell in here that will outlast religion, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:06, 2 replies)

Spoilt kids
I get the impression from reading a few posts that the people who are posting now may have warranted a story about themselves in last weeks QOTW...

And battered, call centre operatives are common?

Why is that? because of their job? or just because your snobbish attitude?

\rant
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:04, 1 reply)

My home town
...which i left as soon as humanly possible for the Big Smoke of the city lights is the most common place on earth. Whenever i visit home though i am reminded that i am the only one who seems to think this. The place is a dump, its full of tracksuit-wearing yobs, the nightlife is atrocious (and yet despite this the biggest nightclub charges more to get into the place than half of the good clubs in the nearest city. And its a cesspit of granny-fanny. I have seen more fights in that place in one night than i have in the entire social life i have had in the city) The council are more bent than a seven bob note, and the police are like those you would see in a deep south america hick town. Crooked and bored. Yet despite this it claims to be a cultural hertage town bristling with history and sites. It isnt. Its a common as muck hell hole full of graffiti, pompous arsewits and scum. And i'm glad i dont live in its narrow minded streets no more!!


[/rant]
(Overdrive fucking loves you!, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 10:02, 7 replies)

Army Surplus shirts....
As an alternative minded teenager in late nineties and early noughties, I was particularly fond of wearing an army surplus shirt with German flags on each sleeve (the modern German flag, I'm not into Nazi memorabilia).

After owning said shirt for a few years, I plucked it from the drawer one day to discover bare, dark green sleeve where the flags used to be. My mother dearest had decided that it looked common, and spent about an hour unstitching and removing the patches while I was out.
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 9:56, Reply)

A sure sign of the lower classes
Those people who hold their knife like a pencil. There are lots of them about - just have a look around you, next time you're in a café.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 9:52, 6 replies)