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This is a question Conned

swiftyisNOTevil writes, "I have recently become obsessed with the BBC Three show 'The Real Hustle' - personally, I think of it as a 'How To' show for aspiring con artists."

Have you carried out a successful con? Perhaps you hustled a few quid off a stranger, or defrauded a multi-national company. Or have you been taken for the wide-eyed, naive rube that you are?

(, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:02)
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More eBay fun
The beauty of eBay is that it gives you near-total anonymity, and the indicators of who you really are happen to be a great deal of effort to report and follow, which means even if you tell the Police, eBay or whoever chances are nobody's going to give enough of a shit to follow that thread through to an actual identity.

The key is not to make it easy for people. Make it as difficult and as complex as possible, put doubt in their mids if it's even worth following through. A simple 'sell a good and never send' it will get you banned and possibly prosecuted, but something like the following worked a treat -

Actual Story
Back when I was a lad of 17, I picked up a broken PS2 from a pawn shop for some pissant fee of $20 or so. I immediately went home and flogged it on eBay as an 'ex demo model' and fetched over 12x what I paid.
I found a buyer, and sent him the dodgy PS2. When he told me it refused to load discs, I claimed that it must've been damaged in transport and he should've gotten insurance (which he should have, ALWAYS GET IT or people like me will fuck you over without breaking a sweat). When he was unhappy with this answer, I explained that as I was a minor, under Australian law any contract I enter with an adult, THEY have to honour it whereas I do not.

Now at a cursory glance of the law this is true, you'd basically have to consult and pay a lawyer to get technical on why it's not the case, and that'd cost you.
I expect he thought this through and came to the same conclusion, he dropped it after a week and just took the loss.

Now see I was legally in the wrong, but it's about working the person on eBay. I created doubt as to who was in the right, and as to if it was worth pursuing.

I bought a second PS2 for my loungeroom with the money, off eBay ironically. It worked great.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 14:12, 35 replies)
Sorry, i don't usally give negative comments...
... but even by my lax standards that's extremely cuntish.

Did you ever think, maybe that guy was buying a present for somebody, maybe it was for his kids, i don't know his circumstances but all in all you are a cunt.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 14:15, closed)
that's a bit pathetic, mate
seriously, you needed a ps2 so much so much you had to nick money from a stranger?
a second hand dreamcast would have given you plenty of good gaming for little money or did you just want to feel clever about yourself?

it's fairly well known that ripping people off on ebay is reasonably doable. the reason most people don't do it isn't because they're not as clever as you, it's because most people don't feel the need to steal. especially not from someone who is most likely just an ordinary person without masses of money to spare and who probably doesn't deserve being ripped off.

in general, even if there is no danger of being caught, people keep themselves honest. the reason for this is related to how they see themselves, and how they want other people to see them. I imagine you like to see yourself as pretty smart and maybe you want other people to see that you have money, maybe you want status. a lot of the people on b3ta that read your answer will probably think you're a nob.
my best guess is that you're probably a bit of an idiot who doesn't really think about the effects of his actions.

being able to rip people off isn't actually the same as being able to deal with people well, and not caring about the effects of what you do is actually a bit sociopathic.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 15:01, closed)
Fuckin hell mate,I'll tell you who was conned...
Your mum, by the abortion clinic, seein how you survived.
Can't blame you for wanting to get back at the world eh
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 15:28, closed)
Actually you were wrong
The terms and conditions for ebay state you must be over 18 to buy and sell on ebay. By signing up in the first place you were in breach of their terms and so the buyer would have won any action through ebay.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 15:45, closed)
Are you labouring under the mistaken impression that anyone will find this amusing?
I'm afraid you simply come across as an utter cunt.

I genuinely hope you get violently mugged in the near future.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 15:47, closed)
^All these^
It's depressing that you behave like such a twat; more depressing that you don't recognise your twattishness for what it is; and heartbreaking that you seem to have mistaken that twattishness for admirability.

What a contemptible little person you must be.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 15:50, closed)
I'd like your house to get repossessed
and for you to have to sell your arse to survive.

You cunt.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 15:56, closed)
well done
*claps sarcastically*

You ripped someone off on eBay (so clever! how DID you manage it??), and then acted like a dick when they gave you the benefit of the doubt. And then boasted about it.

As the great Lionel might say, if he read this thread:

'You're once... twice... three times a complete cunt-brained twat.'
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 16:14, closed)

You're just a bit of a moronic twat then.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 16:21, closed)
snivelling little schoolboy shit
"Now see I was legally in the wrong, but it's about working the person on eBay. I created doubt as to who was in the right, and as to if it was worth pursuing."

should read

"I havent started puberty yet and all the big boys in the showers point that out regularly. i am inadequate on several levels by crying "paedo!" to anyone who comes near me."
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 16:39, closed)
People like you make people like me angry.

Now please kindly fuck off from our website.

Edit: and I hardly ever de-lurk, but you got my back up good and proper.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 16:43, closed)
I agree with everything that's been said so far.

The stupidest thing you've said though, was about it being a great deal of effortto catch ebay crooks. I've just finished prosecuting a 22 year old who thought he could hide his kiddy porn downloads from the police. He had computer skills that take years of loneliness to develop, apparently. And it took our expert all of thirty seconds to catch him. And you give ebay far more info than he ever gave his paedo mates.

If the aussies are anything like the brits, they've got the skills to nail you for theft in about an hour.

You'd plead guilty, your life would be over job-wise. His girl left him, but I doubt you even have one.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 18:21, closed)
You really are
A complete cunt
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 20:46, closed)
oh hahahaarrr
wow what a funny little person you are. It's pricks like you that give ebay a bad name. I hope that the bloke you conned out of his hard earned cash is a member of b3ta and sees what you have done and comes round to show you exactly how annoyed he is and then takes your ironically great working PS2 in compensation. Cunt.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 21:49, closed)

Pretty much my train of thought reading through your story.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 22:00, closed)
I'm a lurker rather than a poster
But even lurkers have to call people cunts sometimes.

Well done on ripping someone off who's probably too skint to buy their PS2 brand new from a shop. Next time you need to steal some money off a stranger, why not mug an old lady on a lonely street? If you time it right you'd probably get away with that too.

Absolutely despicable behaviour.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 22:43, closed)
I wanted to reply and say "cunt"
But it was so nice to see everyone already had.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 23:12, closed)
Smeg Feltcher
You sir, are a Quim of the highest order. I sincerely hope that your knob rots in the most appalling way known to man. You are indeed a smeg feltching arse-wipe.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 23:57, closed)
You're actually proud of this?
This is a humour website, not a "who's the biggest cunt" competition.

Obviously a lot of the stories are made up. I hope this one is too, and the humour is in the angry replies.
(, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 23:59, closed)
Well there's plenty of humour in the replies for me at least... I never thought I'd get such a reaction with my first two posts. I'm loving it...
I s'pose it's only right that I address some of you wonderful people who've taken the time to read my story and give your opinions.

Tomfantastic - Well, I decided my lounge needed a second Ps2, so I went to the pawn shop and was unhappy with the prices so voila, a plan was formed. Pretty simple reason, but thanks for all your redundant psychological analysis anyway.

Golddust Nice try buddy, no cigar. eBay doesn't want minors because their whole system is based around contracts that are technically legally binding. If minors sneak in, they can get away with murder so to speak. So I was violating eBay's ToS sure, could've had that account (one of about seven) banned, but my position with the buyer still stood.

Happy Phantom No, I just posted a true and relevant answer. It's in the question, verbatim - "Have you ever conned a stranger". I probably won't get mugged either.

Disasterprone I like your stories.

Enzyme You're not the first man who's heart I've broken.

IHROOC - Uh. If it were actually meant to read that, at least I'd make sense. You're way off regardless. Much love.

Goon Not too worried about making people like you angry bud. Sorry.
I think I'll stay on B3ta too, I like it here. Like it even more now I've finally de-lurked.

Exiled Youth Can't you read? I didn't say computer experts couldn't track me down, my point was that it's VERY UNLIKELY TO HAPPEN over some mickey mouse pocket change when the same resources could be used to track down people like your paedo friend, or catch multi-thousand dollar scam artists.

It's relatively more effort than taking a copper to a shop that sold you a dodgy item, see? Or even just posting a description of a local con-artist up at the cop-shop / area you saw him.

Rickaaay Assuming he's a member here, and reads this, how exactly is he going to 'come around'? *rollseyes*

Everyone else jumping on the bandwagon - Your time is appreciated. It's made my morning. Now I'm off to Uni, but I'm hoping there's some more delicious, hilarious uproar by the time I return.
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 1:59, closed)
Oh, you tedious little gobshite...
No-one liked your initial post very much, and I'm fairly sure your woefully-inadequate attempt at a comeback will be met with similar disdain.

A five year old child could have accomplished your retarded little 'scam'. Ripping off a trust-based system is no more complicated than parking in a cripple bay - anyone can do it, but most people choose not to.

You may think you've annoyed the people who have responded to your drivel - myself included. You haven't. All I feel when I read your pitiful, self-indulgent shit is utter contempt.

EDIT: also, when struggling to appear intelligent, one should avoid school-boy errors such as using
"who's" instead of "whose".
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 3:16, closed)
whether or not he's a complete cunt, I don't think we need umpteen bloody replies when one or two at most will suffice. For a start it's bloody childish, and ganging up isn't cricket, nor the spirit of B3ta.
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 3:45, closed)
I'd just like to say..
..how much I appreciate the "Ignore" button.
Goodbye, you arrogant little twat.
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 12:24, closed)
"It's all about working the person on eBay"
You pathetic, self-deluding, little shit. Fancy yourself as some sort of smart con-artist? You are just a bottom-feeding little creep who makes life this a bit more tedious for the rest of us.

Cretinous thieving cunt.
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 14:40, closed)
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 15:11, closed)
what's that term...
...for someone who posts inflammatory stuff on the interwebs looking for a bit of attention?

Tiny-cocked? Tragic? Twelve years old??

Hmmm... it definitely starts with a 'T'.
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 15:58, closed)
you can come up with as many witty put downs as your "bumper book of witty put downs for kids (large print edition)" can muster
but you're still a cunt
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 16:44, closed)
You're the reason why John Q Public mistrusts sellers and generally eyes eBay with suspicion, thus reducing the profit of genuine sellers like myself.

Very poor show.

/ignore :)
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 17:01, closed)
Actually, I found your post relevant and inspiring
Nah, only kidding, I think you're a cunt n all.

Fuck off and die
(, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 18:17, closed)
Like everyone else here
I wanted to say what a complete an utter cunt you are - but obviously it's a bit pointless as you are clearly a sociopath who has no understanding of right and wrong.
The fact that you find it amusing to be rebuked by every single person who has bothered to reply clearly indicates an individual of diminished capacity who struggles to relate to normal individuals. As such you don't have the intelligence to take on board these comments and adjust your behaviour accordingly.
I sympathise with your plight. It must be difficult going through life having everone around you thinking you're worthless scum.
All I ask is that you take yourself out of the gene pool. The world would be a better place without people like you in it.
Oh, fuck it.
(, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 2:44, closed)
It all becomes clear now
Ah, so you're a student. A student into World of Warcraft. Riiiiiiight, that explains a lot.
(, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 11:23, closed)
Feeling proud?
Actually, it wouldn't be too hard for him to pursue it, all you did was bluff him. Ebay's customer service procedure's a complete arse (like yourself), and it's incredibly arbitrary... but in an open and shut case like this, if he used Paypal, it'd refund his money to him straight off.
(, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 12:58, closed)
This is an absolute riot...
calamarain - That was the point. *rollseyes* It's more or less the basis of conning people on eBay.

Surferosa I am a genuine seller. The best part is my primary eBay account has 300 positive feedbacks and one negative. Ironically, the single negative wasn't even a con!
However, I'm also an opportunist.

Creamy Discharge - You're confusing 'everyone around me' with 'everyone on this particular bandwagon, who whilst happy to usually do things in extremely poor taste saw a chance to take a moral high ground for once, making extreme hypocrites of them all'. Lucky for me I'm not worried what you lot think because, er, I'm a sociopath right?

pandora peroxide - i just answered the QOTW, truthfully, and on topic. I never expected such a response given the general quality of people who inhabit B3ta.
Also you're wrong on all three counts there, but I can think of a few T words to describe myself. But, I'll just put terrific since the rest are more or less just synonyms anyway.

Everyone else who pulled out the thesaurus just to come across as verbose and superior - I'm probably better looking and in better shape than 99% of you , so that makes me in the right. Piss off.
(, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 14:09, closed)
er, I guess psychoanalysis is a bit of a harsh word for my post!
But I was interested in why your desire for a ps2 was bigger than any empathy you might have felt for the person you were ripping off. Your reply just says "I wanted the ps2 because I wanted it".
Which isn't really a very revealing answer. I guess either you don't really know why, you don't want to say why or it really is just that simple. But if the trivial desire to own possessions is stronger in you than sympathy for other people then that does make you sound a bit cold (possibly a tiny bit sociopathic, who knows).

On the whole "stupid people deserve fleecing" topic, I'll just say that you should be glad that the majority of people don't think that way. However smart you are, there will always be people smarter than you.
Similarly I'm very glad that most people don't believe that "weak people deserve beating up".
And I don't feel that way because I'm afraid of being fleeced all the time. I'm neither weak nor stupid and I would do just fine in a dog eat dog world. I just don't enjoy stealing from people.
(, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 19:48, closed)
Leyxia lives in Australia
Surely that's punishment enough for her (I'm guessing) crimes!
(, Thu 25 Oct 2007, 4:14, closed)

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