Sandwich maker...
Bought for £15 from T.J.Hughes, used quite a bit until the novelty wore off (this coincided with me being fed up of burning my mouth on jam hotter than the surface of the moon). Currently sits at the back of the cupboard near the oven (just in case anyone wants to break in and steal it from me). Probably won't use it again. Or throw it out...
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:24, 30 replies)

The crap 'gadget' (although I can think of a better words)
in this story does not appear to be the sandwich maker.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:30, closed)

the oven?
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:35, closed)

Try again.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:36, closed)

T.J.Hughes? that's just silly...
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:40, closed)

Yeah. My oven is crap too.
It's the darnedest thing! The food coming out of it is always so *hot*! I mean, you should be able to just take it out of the oven and eat it right off. Feckin' thing.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:36, closed)

i think maybe my issue here is with jam. does it need to get so hot?
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:37, closed)

Because it's made of sugar.
Off topic slightly, but toasted banana and nutella sandwiches are amazing. You should wait for them to cool down.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:40, closed)

well, yes, but still, does it have to get THAT hot? i mean, it's just ruining it for everyone... (Me)

Sigh, fine, I'll 'wait' for food... tut and such...
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:43, closed)

Go and read a physics book
about specific heat capacity
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 14:21, closed)

And about the surface temperature of the moon
(which, according to Wikipedia, averages 220K at the equator)...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 14:41, closed)

But it's over 105 degrees celsius during the 'day' (~13 earth days), which would make for quite hot jam. Pretty cold at 'night' though.
(MayorBoris, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:31, closed)

The key word is "averages", here
In sunlight, things on the moon will heat up to 120 c; in shadow they'll down to -230 c or so.

"Hotter than the sun" would have been a better, if rather hyperbolic, phrase here.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:33, closed)

While all this is true,
it would have detracted from the snide nature of my comment. And I'm feeling quite snide today...
:)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:50, closed)

You bought a woman for £15?

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:26, closed)

If she was that cheap
It was probably your momma.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:30, closed)

Oh no you didn't!

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:31, closed)

I've been unable to use a Breville
Since meeting your momma.

Her minge looked just like an opened cheese toastie. Yikes.
( Dervel OTBC, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 16:41, closed)

did it contain leeks?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:23, closed)

lies!
cheese, leek and ham toasties are delicious!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 16:15, closed)

lies!
How is that possible, they have leek in them.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 16:42, closed)

i like leek
and they can do fried egg toasties, too
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 17:38, closed)

A sandwich toaster. You know, you just forget you've got one. And it just sits there on the top of the cupboard collecting a layer of greasy fudge. And even if you do see it you just assume it's broken, you think if it's working I'd be using it all the time, but you don't and it just sits there. Then one day, you get an overwhelming desire for toasted sandwiches, you know? And you get it down and it works, and you can't believe it, you know? And then you make every kind of toasted sandwich there is, you have toasted sandwich parties. You make Marmite and cheese, chocolate and acorns, then as quickly as the desire comes, it just goes. And then you put the toasted sandwich maker away. And, you know what?

You don't miss it.
( JebediahSpringfield, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 17:15, closed)

Until the next time the cycle repeats...

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 17:43, closed)

So you mean...
Chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich?
(GoodLord doesn't have time for sigs., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:29, closed)

protip:
when you take it out the machine, stab a few holes in it. then bite one end and blow the steam out.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:38, closed)

Like some kind of savory flute?
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:58, closed)

Ok, so I got Home and dug out the sandwich maker. It still works. Obviously. Through learning valuable lessons today I decided to 'leave it a bit' and 'read up on something or other...' turns out after 5 minutes they're not too bad and I don't have burns. So thank you b3ta people, however sarcastic your help. It did indeed help. Phew etc etc.
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:02, closed)

Sandwich maker?
Is that a breadboard, with integrated knife-holder?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:09, closed)

I sold a sandwich on Ebay once
I came as part of a set that I bought from Woolworths, and I already had one, so decided to sell it. I used the strap-line:

"mmmmmmmmmmmmm toasted sandwiches!"

I sold it for £15.
(Nitrous Nitrous, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:32, closed)

"Hotter than the surface of the moon"
Have you tried plugging it in?
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Wed 5 Oct 2011, 11:13, closed)