One-coat white paint.
One-coat, my arse.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:26, 15 replies)

Remembered the biggest one of all
Babylon Zoo.

Remember the spaceman song from the Levi's add, circa 1996? WE all thought it was some cool dance track and rushed out to buy it. That was my biggest disappointment.
(G-Lo, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:23, 7 replies)

Midnight
I remember being fascinated by the idea of midnight; it was some magical time that, as a kid, I was too young to experience (awake at any rate). I cant recall when it was, but the first time I stayed up over midnight I just thought "Is that it?" I dont know what I expected but it just wasnt special.

Now Im so old I rarely see midnight, Im usually asleep.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:16, 2 replies)

This one breaks my heart
Many years ago I was wandering Merry Hill and saw a Kerrang Kompilation CD for a few £. "Must be something decent on there" I mused and bought it. I stuck it on in the car and it was OK, some good stuff, some shite and one song that blew me away "So Into You" by The Wildhearts. I'd heard of them, but never heard them and they were amazing; a mix of Metallica riffage with Abba pop. Instantly I had to aquire all their stuff; it was bought and listened to and analyzed. Then a few months later Ginger (Main vocalist/guitarist/Song writer) was playing a solo acoustic gig in Rugely. So I got me and a mate a ticket and we went. One of the funniest gigs ever, with amazing music (the "Wank" gig if anyone was there). Absolute joy. Over the ensuing years I have seen both The Wildhearts and Ginger many times (Sonic Circus and acoustic), always a great show. And this year I saw him play the Marrs Bar in worcester and it was utter shit. Dunno why but he just seemed utterly disinterested and lost the audience with prolonged guitar noodlings. I was gutted.

*wavy lines*

That was in March and Ive only just started listening to his stuff again. I can honestly say that night something died inside of me. Its hard to say why I felt so disapointed; I know anyone can have an off day; and Kudos to the guy he did offer people their money back.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 11:10, 1 reply)

not disappointing at all really
played the first proper gig with my band last night and contrary to our expectations (after being told ridiculous things about not being able to use guitar amps etc.) it went excellently and we had an awesome time of it.

mildly disappointing were the act on after us. I liked their style, but they fucking loved themselves and everyone knew it.

they'd obviously thought long and hard about what hats and stupid regimental style jackets to wear.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 10:15, 3 replies)

I've just been for a little ride...
...to the shop, to buy some groceries.

I woke up this morning, and the sun was shining. I dressed in jeans and my best heavy metal T-shirt, got on the bike and went to Tesco (about 5 miles).

As I left the store, I noticed that everything was not as it should be.

In other words, it was fucking pissing it down.

A pair of jeans and a T-shirt, which I only washed yesterday, are now absolutely drenched. And so am I.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 9:53, Reply)

A few disappointments here...
When you finish a can of coke but somehow you still think theres a bit left and there isn't.

When someone told me to watch Skins because "It's Really Good"

Playing sports - Clean throught on goal, just the keeper to beat, and somehow you manage to send the ball into the stratosphere.

Also, disappointing other people can be fun.

You know when someone tries to argue with you and you just agree with them? That disappoints, because they wanted an arguement.

Teacher: DanS, you haven't done your homework
DanS: Yes sir, i'm sorry
Teacher: Your not sorry! Its not good enough!
DanS: I know sir, I'll try harder next time
Teacher: You won't! You'll just keep failing in life.
DanS: At the rate I'm going, I'll only ever be a faliure sir.
Teacher: Thats not the attitude to have!

Etc.
(DanS like you've never DanSed before!, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 8:25, Reply)

I'm currently 22
And I've wanted kids my whole life. I honestly cannot wait until the day I became a Dad. I know I'll be a cool, honest, kind and compassionate father. It probably stems from the fact that my old man was such a cunt. In a way, I want to make up for his mistakes. I vowed to myself from an early age that, when I did have a son, I would treat him the way I should have been treated, and made sure he never felt afraid or threatened.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down, I'll plan out activities with my unborn kids - I'll take them to the zoo as often as possible, I'll play football with them down the park, I'll teach them how to ride a bike, and I'll take them to Disneyland during the school holidays. I'll constantly learn new magic tricks and jokes to keep them amused and entertained. I'll tell them good, honest truths about the world - some people can be pricks, but it's best just to ignore them and be the best you can be. Never give in to peer pressure - never be afraid to follow your own road, and see where it takes you. Be kind and generous with people and they'll be the same to you, but be aware that there are some people who will take advantage of generosity.

I'll encourage them to paint, to write, to express themselves any way they want. I'll let them take up any instrument they fancy (I'll buy them a guitar at an early age, boy or girl). I'll never be too busy to play with them, and I'll constantly let them know how much I love them. I'll make sure they never want for anything, but I won't spoil them. I'll make them work for the things they want, and teach them that a day's labour can pay dividends.

I've even picked out names - Tyler for a boy, and Jessica for a girl. It's disappointing that I haven't experienced the joys of fatherhood yet, and I know it's on the far horizon, but I just know that it will be the happiest day of my life. It gives me something to look forward to, and it's something I've always been able to turn to during the dark times.

None of my friends think this way. Is it just me?
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 4:46, 16 replies)

Puberty.
Just... fuck you Mum.
I mean, really, all those fish in the sea and you just stood on shore with a wicker basket. I'm not an only child, so I'd expect some genetic compensation in ocean motion, if you get what I mean, but no - it wriggles like an unwanted anchovy in a pizzeria, dropped by some Glastonbury-bound NME bitch to a cold tile floor. Just step on it and watch me cry, it's all the fun you'll get sweetheart.


Length? *sniffs*
(sorry., Sat 28 Jun 2008, 4:06, 1 reply)

Sorry, no funny.
A few years ago, my mother decided to take us to live with my aunt for a month. Now there are a few problems with this which I will tell you.

1. I fucking hate the old bat!
2. She lives in Cyprus. The problem with this is that it's a hot country. I hate heat.
3. The most important of all: I would miss Toby.

Toby was my dog, I'm not exactly sure what he was, but he looked like a short-haired jack russell with doberman fur colour/pattern. I'd had him for as long as I can remember and we were best mates. Well, as best friends as you can be with a dog.

My mother left Toby in the hands of her then boyfriend. So anyways, we go to Cyprus for a month long "Holiday" (The month, fucking December, I had to spend Christmas and New Years with Hitler's Aunt) And, to be fair, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had my PS2 and San Andreas and I regularly disappeared either to the beach or to the mountains.

When it was over, we got home and I was eager to see the old dog. I got to the door, opened it and immediately knew there was something wrong. Toby always ran down the stairs, out of my bedroom, to greet me. Fucking Heath (Mother's ex-boyfriend) told me that he'd died the day after we left.

That was the most disappointing holiday, Christmas, and New Year of my life.

Apologies for lack of humour.
( Hokerou, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 3:42, 2 replies)

my 6th form leavers ball....
...just got back from it now.

The actual ball was good fun; drinking, dancing, talking - a good night.

The "after party" at Tramps nightclub in Worcester was shit however. Not that many people actually went and i left there at half two stone cold sober. bollocks

You here people going on and on about how good the "Prom" will be and how important it is, etc. It really wasnt that important, but a fairly good night anyway.

To sum up - Ball=Good, Nightclub= a big dissapointment(shit)
(Foulkesy123 The one and only..., Sat 28 Jun 2008, 3:29, 3 replies)

My First Drink
*dusts off, and reposts*

When I was but a young strapping lad of 11, my parents decided to take us on a family holiday. It was somewhere in Spain (most of my family holidays have been to Spain, and all the different locations have kind of merged into one in my memory). I was a typical 11 year old - still a child, full of wide-eyed innocence and a love of causing trouble. However, I was becoming aware of a number of things that seemed to be 'grown-up' activities, like drinking or smoking. Being naturally curious, I decided to try these activities at the best possible opportunity, to see what all the fuss was about.

Such an opportunity arose around a week into the holiday. To break up the monotony of lazing around the pool by day and eating out at night, my parents booked an entertainment night with dinner, dancing, and free bottles of wine for every table. I'm sure you can probably tell where this is going...

First up was the meal, then afterwards the adults headed to the dance floor to boogie. My parents took my sister up to dance, and told me to watch the table. Sensing my chance, I checked around me to see if anyone was watching, then, satisfied that the coast was clear, poured myself a large glass of red wine and hid it under the table.

At first I tried sniffing it. Uuurgh, it smelled weird. Then I tried a little taste, and discovered that it tasted worse than it smelled. However, I was a determined little bugger and I wasn't going to let that put me off. After checking that no-one was watching, I held my nose and drank as much of it as I could.

Hmmm...not bad, but I can't really see what all the fuss is about. Maybe I'll have another drink...

After draining a full glass, I poured myself another and managed half before giving up. Deciding alcohol wasn't all it was cracked up to be, I left the table to visit the toilet. On my way there, I found myself veering to the left slightly. It was strange, but by concentrating I managed to walk normally again.

I entered the toilets, and went into one of the cubicles. Still slightly puzzled over my difficulties walking, I unzipped my trousers and started to pee. All of a sudden, I noticed I was swaying. What the hell was going on? Why couldn't I stand still? The harder I tried to stop, the more I swayed, until I had to throw out a hand to stop myself headbutting the wall.

I leaned against the wall, trying to get my balance. Gradually, I noticed the room seemed to be moving slightly under my feet. What the fuck? Had the floor come alive? Had the toilet been hit by a really shit earthquake? This was getting weirder and weirder. I decided I'd better leave this room with it's travelator-style floors and return to my seat, where I could ponder this mystery in safety.

On leaving the toilet, I paused to have a look around. Now, I was quite shy when I was a child, and normally the thought of dancing would bring me out in a cold sweat, but for some reason I felt an incredible urge to hit the dance floor and strut my stuff. Some hitherto-unused part of my brain was telling me I was the best dancer in the world, and it was only fair to share my gift with the world.

So I swaggered onto the floor, assumed my best John Travolta position, and proceeded to dance like a bare-footed mong on a hotplate. I swung my arms wildly, waved my legs around and yelled "Wooooo!"

Man, this dancing was easy. I should've tried it ages ago.

At this point my Mum notices me and, having had quite a few glasses of wine herself, decides to head over and dance with me. Queue me being spun round and round by a mad drunken woman, both of us stumbling all over the place laughing like lunatics. When we eventually sat back down at our table, red-cheeked from exertion, she asked me if I wanted to taste wine to see what it was like. I agreed, and she let me take a drink from her glass. Yep - just as I remembered it. Still disgusting.

That night, when we got back to the apartment I rushed into the bathroom and projectile vomited red wine everywhere - all over the toilet, sink and floor. My Mum came in, shook her head, and said, "Jesus - I had no idea one little sip of wine would do this to you." She put me to bed and cleaned up the whole bathroom, and I could hear her and my Dad arguing about it - he blamed her for getting me drunk. She nursed me all the next day, through one of the worst hangovers I have ever experienced in my life.

My first experience of drink was a major disappointment. It took me another 5 years to truly experience the wonders of alcohol. And it's been a torrid love affair ever since...
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 2:08, 4 replies)

UK weather?
I'm off to the UK (from Oz) for a months vacation from next Tuesday.
I'm dreaming of one of those Indian summers, but daresay I'll be disappointed big time...
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sat 28 Jun 2008, 0:32, 5 replies)

Disappointment?
The day spimf got his icon.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 23:52, 36 replies)

My motto to life
The human race, on the whole, are a bunch of shits who will sell their parents into slavery for a penny.

Served me well so far.
(Chuckman, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 23:51, Reply)

my most recent disappointment
would be that for the last two weeks running i have had a top 5 QOTW by *clickage* but the front page goalposts have been moved

still - i do have my icon after all that unpleasentness *beams*

yes i know i am annoying

(thanks for the clicks folks it's the only thing that stops me digging up the bodies for another go)

what?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 23:42, 2 replies)

well. yes, actually
the fact that I'm not a millionairess plaything with cheekbones from tiffany's is a constant niggle.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 23:41, 8 replies)

Sorry...
Not this very morning i went to meet a friend...yes i have one of thoses...

Upon meeting her she exclaimed "God took your time! im all wet now"

Little too late did i realise it was raining...needless to say i was disapointed

I did say sorry?
(Wandering Nomad still wandering on, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 23:28, Reply)

I think i may have posted this before...
my 18th birthday party
no one remembered, no one cared, no one was here not even my parents, no friends to call
sat alone in the dark crying
slowly feeling my stomach try to eat itself as my heart sank deep into my bowels, thinking of ways to stop the pain
Still brings a tear to my eye to this day (10 years later) oh well nevermind eh?
( SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 23:10, 5 replies)

I once bought "How to become invisible" off of ebay for £2
It was simply a one-page document, which read, 'Hide behind things.'
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 22:55, 2 replies)

One day....
My mum is one of *those* people, who once in a blue moon goes insane and gives everything in the house to the charity shop. And then disinfects the toaster. This is an unfortunate character to have as a mother as a child who greatly values their limited possessions.

wavy lines


I had been eating Kellogs cornflakes for weeks, despite the fact that they made me want to do a sick. And, from the back of these cornflakes, I had collected the tokens. I had put the tokens in an envelope, sent them to Kellogs, and been rewarded with Thunderbirds 1, 2, 3 and 4. I was now munching my way through cardboard flakes for the grand prize of Tracey Island. And I did it. I sent my tokens off, and it arrived at my house in its shiny wonder. It even had a button that would send messages from the control room. It had taken months, and now I had everything I had ever dreamed of.



About a month later my mum went insane, and *tidied*.

I never saw it again. It had gone by the time we went back.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 22:42, 47 replies)

Constant Annual Disappointment
Along with about 2% of you, my birthday is very near christmas.

The 2%ers know what's coming next...
"Instead of two presents, we just got you one BIG present"

No, you didn't, you tight bastard. You just got one average present and conned me out of my rightful inheritance, or whatever.

If I'd been born in June, I'd have had at least 200 more presents than I have had.

To all potential parents: don't shag at easter, unless all your relatives are loaded. It will lead to a lifetime of disappointment and early-onset scepticism.

And all you "One BIG present" arseholes; go fuck yourself, you're not fooling anyone.
(Razors, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 22:42, 12 replies)

Last Night...
My year 11 ball
(or prom as sum twats like to call it! hello we're in england here)
couldn't be botherd to go to the actual ball in the first place
which im glad about cuz from what i've heard it was
worse than a year 6 disco
and the after parties had less drugs and half naked girls
than any other party ive been to in the last few years!!!!!!!


on the plus side i woke up with my girlfriend on one
side and a nice big traffic sign on the other which
i think will make a nice big clock
any other suggestions for what to turn it into?
(kristofski6992, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 22:22, 5 replies)

Glastonbury lineup this year
Didnt even apply for a ticket for the first time in 15 years. Emily Eavis has fucking ruined what was the scene of most of the greatest weekends of my life. I am watching the "high"lights at home with a beer and its the first year I have watched it and not wished I was there. What an utter-utter shite line up. What the fuck is Kate Gash doing there? Estelle? Eh? The Feeling? Jesus Cunting Christ. And Edith Pig-Jaw Bomman, yeah amazing, they were amazing, Jay-Z will be amazing tomorrow. Its amazing here. SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU. CUNT.
God im making myself angry. Will Young is playing. I'll say that again WILL FUCKING YOUNG. Emily Eavis you have dry-raped the arse of the greatest festival ever......
( DumbMonkey The penis mightier than the sword, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 21:58, 14 replies)

Many years ago...
I heard a new Red Hot Chili Peppers song on the radio. It made me snigger wildly, like a child, and as a result I loved the song. Here is a snippet:

Once you go you can never come back
I'm gonna take it on the other side
She wants to know if I'm still a slut
I'm gonna take it on the other side

Imagine my disappointment when I discovered the song is NOT about bumming!!
(BrainSurgerysFun, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 21:54, Reply)

Pabo, and most other, 'erotic items' shops...
I single Pabo out because after a somewhat 'interesting' start (which consisted of them sending me a video with several short hard-core porn films on it, and a thong that wouldn't even have fitted a 12 yr old, for no obvious reason) they then decided to bugger me around on our second and third orders.

For Christmass 2005 I ordered my wife some nice underwear, sexy but not tacky. I ordered it at the end of August, figuring plenty of time and I could hide it until Xmas.
End of September, no problem.
End of October, slightly worried, email them to get a reply saying they've just come back into stock, and will be dispatched immediatly.
End of November,very worried, email them to get a reply saying they've just come back into stock, and will be dispatched immediatly. Sorry, am I in a time warp here?
Xmas Eve, I'm in the local shopping centre spending money I can't really afford because otherwise she's getting books and cd's instead of romantic undies.
January... there's a box from Pabo. I open it with trepidation, but it is what I ordered.
So February 14th I give her some lovely wrapped undies. She gives me a big grin, and tries them on.

Now, my wife is a BBW but I do know her measurements.
The nice undertop I bought her, on the model in the catalogue it reached down to her navel, on my wife it was resting on top of her belly.
The bra I got her, the model had her breasts totally covered, on my wife it looked like pudding bowls on melons. (Lovely melons darling...)
The list continued...
Where the bloody hell did they find someone about 4ft tall and perefectly proportioned to model the full size clothes?

We discussed sending them back, but my wife said that if she lost weight she'd enjoy wearing them.

In the next 18 months we bought things from a few other companies, no clothing, and on the whole we had no problems. (One company, 'Love Honey' was in fact brilliant, and we got a 'device' as a free gift that was actually better than what we bought.)

Then, last summer, we made the mistake of trying Pabo again.
About £50 worth of fun, paid for with the order, and ordered online with a 'quote' of 21 -28 days.
Two months later, email them to get a reply saying they've just come back into stock, and will be dispatched immediatly. (Doesn't cut and paste save a lot of time?)
Another month,, email them to get a reply saying they've just come back into stock, and will be dispatched immediatly.
Another month, change to "if you want your money back, tell us and it'll be in the post".

It took until the start of this year, and the threat of involving trading standards, to get a cheque.
And it came with a letter saying "We're sorry you were disappointed with us, if you make a new order we'll give you a 50% discount if you send the cheque back."
It got put into our account.

If there is anybody out there who's got anything to do with companies such as Evans, please remember that busts don't stop at 38, and even big women like to look attractive.
(Walmart, in the US, does online up to 48hh, but they won't ship to this country... and they own ASDA.)
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Fri 27 Jun 2008, 21:35, 7 replies)

Losing my V-plates
I almost blurted out "that was it???"
(trippeh, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 20:31, 3 replies)

frankspencer
Just think of the most depraved activity you could possibly imagine and picture frankspencer's write-up describing his immense disappointment at how pedestrian he found it.

Now be disappointed that the bastard's no longer around to write it.

:'(
( djtrialprice, Fri 27 Jun 2008, 20:18, 13 replies)