i drank heavily though the night and into the day
and that evening, i woke up on the sofa, splitting headache, feeling sick, with a brand new gleaming full suspension mountain bike in my lounge with a painful memory of entering JJB sports.

bastards wouldn't take it back the next day as well. nearly had a heart attack riding that fucka back home (fucking kirskstall bastard hill)..... £550 down the pan... :*(
( northernwifeb3ta is going to Dubai in December :D for "work", Thu 9 Jun 2005, 21:34, Reply)

Sex
Only joking. Although I did buy some novelty condoms for the hell of it recently, from a pub bog. Hoorah for posh wanks!
(Mr_Jums, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 20:57, Reply)

I bought....
to my utmost shame, a giant inflatable penis that you fill with water at the bottom, so it never falls over.

My drunken friend persuaded a drunken me to buy it. Hed bought it whilst drunk. And so had the person hed bought it off.
(Attention Whore, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 20:44, Reply)

Pissed one afternoon in Covent Garden - can't remember why
Found these green snakeskin effect high heeled boots for only £5 - I couldn't understand why they were so cheap.

Obviously now I know - cos they're basically horrible. I still wear them sometimes to amuse my friends and confound strangers in the street. They make me look like I'm trying to look like a cross between Mick Jagger and Gary Glitter, which can never be a good thing, especially as I'm a girl
(sticks Errol flynn in female form, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 20:35, Reply)

Expensive, ill-advised millstone
I bought a 1950's Coventry Climax 'Featherweight' portable firepump from Ebay, late one night and pissed. Unfortunately, it's only portable if you have very strong mates and it doesn't work.

I haven't worked out what I would do with it if it did work anyway. If anyone knows how to start one of these, can they please let me know? I'm starting to get desperate.
(Nagra III, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 20:34, Reply)

A Pizza
Off the pizza parlour fella who another drunken guy said looked like Deco.
(Fuzzy, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 20:15, Reply)

not so much bought....
18th Birthday a couple of days back; got more than suitably lubricated before supposedly staggering back in a haze to my mates house.

Woke up in cold sweat, still gassed, and declared my hair as an excessive nuisance whilst negotiating a bowl of coco pops. Cue cutting off every last fibre from my scalp with kitchen scissors, and then running over the whole thing with a mach 3 for good measure. In my inebriated state I thought it almost stylish, but realising it had traversed the realms of "scary cool" baldness, and into the "oh christ theres something wrong with him" baldness, me and my hat have been rendered somewhat symbiotic, it's only adjournment from its ceaseless clasp of my head being when i take rather belated trips to the shower. Incidentally, during the whole charade I had the theme from animal hospital running through my head, which slightly worries me.

Still, a week of looking like a nutcase and then I'll be good as new.... I think
(colonelcustardscataracts, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 20:14, Reply)

Not exactly drunk as such, but...
..while clubbing, back in the day, I had a propensity for shiny glow in the dark things.. On more than one occasion I spotted some washed up hippy selling Clippers or other tat with a few blobs of UV paint daubed on them and immediately realised that I JUST HAD TO BUY THEM FOR EVERY ONE OF MY MATES...!! Needless to say, my more level headed friends were often underwhelmed by my thoughtful gifts. :-(

Still, at least it was always easy to find my lighter in a darkened room, bloody thing usually looked radioactive..
(Hairy_matt, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 20:00, Reply)

damn demon drink
whilst at uni, drinking snake bite and black (cos thats all we do) stumbled back in to my room in halls and decided to perouse the delectable delights of ebay. Cue the music and i pass out, wake up in the morning face on keyboard, with qwertyuiop firmly imprinted on my face. I stare at teh monitor and to my horror ive only gone and purchased a fully working replica delorean from back to the future! fired off a couple of hasty emails explaining my 4 year old bro had been "messing" with my comp and got out of it! dude was not happy tho cos i bid 40 grand D0h!
(Roland_of_gilead, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 19:48, Reply)

Had an amazingly stingy mate
who insisted I coughed up £3 yes £3 for 1 Sour Cream and Onion Pringle crisp! Hmmmm Bastard
(shitstirrer, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 19:43, Reply)

a ride
on thomas the tank engine outside wimpy, seemed like good value and only cost me 50p.

I also bought some food from there, my shit smelled of onion and sauce for a week.
(funkatron, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 19:29, Reply)

Tesco
I like to do a spot of late night shopping after a few jars and the last time this happened I woke in the morning to find I had purchased 5 carrier bags' worth of Tesco's Economy trash. The receipt reckons a week's load of shopping cost just £25. Aye, I'm a thrifty drunk. Whether any of the edible produce was worthy of eating or not remains to be known. Still, got a ton of bin-liners for next to nowt.
( Fictional Emma, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 19:04, Reply)

Not me buy my brother
We were with school on a german holiday and my brother ended up with a 12 inch rubber cock hanging from his dorm. He later found out that he had named the cock Deric and that was why he had drawn a face and bow tie on it.


odd
(The Magical Mr Q *is now banishing kittens*, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 18:50, Reply)

Drunken purchase
While on holiday in New Zealand I was on a wine tour of Hastings/Napier.

I woke up in the morning having 'Tasted' a lot of wine with 1 and a half crates of wine in my possesion.

18 very nice bottles of wine, but a pain in the arse to carry in the rucsac for the rest of our journey through SE Asia.
(Blessed Rolo, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 18:22, Reply)

3 crates of mozzarella
.
(~Sunny~, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 18:21, Reply)

In Greece
After a heavy night of drinking, my associate and I went to the only place still open that sold food and we were both starving. We ordered 2 things that looked like vegetable/ham and mushroom lattice pastry things and started to munch. After eating those 2 and then going to buy a third, we both realised that it was just a pastry shop. We sat their eating empty pastry at a bloody pastry shop pissed. Must have looked so gay!
(paintboy, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 18:15, Reply)

Re Mollusk - Useless drunken purchases
Oh! I have just read the " 'Ol Durex" purchase tale from Mollusk!
I too have done that, except my wife found them!

And the odd thing was there was one missing, but it wasn't me who "lost" it!

*sighs and goes back to massaging scissor scars on mancumber*
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 18:08, Reply)

Another...this time Facking London.
Don't remember anything I bought to be perfectly honest... But was woken up by a maid day after payday in St Georges Hotel - Regent St ...Approx 36 pound coins on the floor and a kids barbie bike in the bathroom? (WTF???) The room I was in was in fact a suite with a 12 seater boardroom. I then go down to the hotel reception where all the staff just snigger at my questions of "Where the f#ck am I and did I ride into the hotel on this (holds up kids barbie bike)? Not getting many answers I then proceeded to nearest cash machine where I thought I could find out some more info on my night out... But only discoverer my available funds (After payday) were -£340.00. Meaning that I had in fact blown my entire wages along with my £1000 over-draft and another 300 notes to boot! This of course had a long-lasting, damaging effect on me and decided that life in soho was just too much so I quit my job, checked myself into my parents where I had the "fear" for a number of months.

So if anyone sold me a kids barbie bike in soho one summer evening in 2004 or know's how i managed to spend a few grand in one night, then please do let me know!!

Yours,
A Blunder!
(eurrrrrggggggghhhhhh Cunting /talk, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 18:07, Reply)

Drunk Purchases
Vile kebabs.

Why? Is there some drug in beer that makes me crave compressed elephants leg covered in a sauce which can only be made from the underpants of skanky russian whores?

Damn you, Mr Kebab and your vile sauce
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 17:56, Reply)

SUPERMARKET FUN
PISSED SHOPPING!!! YAY!

The rules are simple and can be played with 2 or more players...

1) get drunk. The more pissed the better.
2) find a 24 hour supermarket (i use ASDA)
3) with the change in your pocket you must then split up and then find the most random object in the supermarket.
4) regroup
5) compare random products.
6) the winner is the person with the maddest object.

I have won a few times with coconuts, spoons, cat litter and tins of spam.

ADVANCED RULES!!!
Shoplift instead of buying items.
The winner is the person who gets arrested last.

ALSO YOGHURT WARS

Basically, get those silly bloody crunch corners (or fruit corners) and remove foil.
The basically skim the yoghurt as far as you can down the aisles... pointless but fun.


ALSO TROLLEY RACES and WIND THE SECURITY GUARD UP.
the first is obvious and the second can be applied to most supermarket games (except advanced rules pissed shopping)...

Just make it 'look' like you're stealing and when approached you must run...

When caught you then humiliate yourself and the security guard (works very well in a full on 3 on 3 yoghurt war!)
try and get as much youghurt on the security guard.

Sorry for length...
(Kayozz, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 17:53, Reply)

Tickets to Star Wars: Episode II
*cries quietly to self*
(GirnsieBabes- Ring baloney once! Ring baloney twice! Hey-ya, Kutztown sure is nice!, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 17:50, Reply)

Most recently: A Furtive tshirt. I cant really afford it, but hey-hum, it's in the post.
Most rubbishy thing ever: A volkswagen badge. That I watched a mate nick. Which I proceeded to lose only hours later.
( Smokey Bacon Crisps smell good, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 17:39, Reply)

I bought plans for K9 from Doctor Who
Pfft.
( Laughing Boy, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 17:36, Reply)

well..
My local pub has an internet terminal. When rat arsed at 2 in the morning I bought a 60,000 dollar customised BMW M3 in florida over Ebay.

I live in germany (where they make BMW M3s).

I did the math in the pub at the time - eg shipping costs, import tax, etc and at the time it made perfect sense.

the next day reality set in.

it is a really nice car though, if a little bit "pimp my ride".
( pregnantfridge, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 17:31, Reply)

Historical hats
One night me and my friend were sitting around with little to do, so for a laugh we decided to go on ebay and search for various random items. The wine had flowed quite a bit, and so without giving too much thought we found ourselves the proud owners of a WW2 German steel helmet, and a fantastic-looking Ming Dynasty General's helmet that only cost £4.79...

The next day we were laughing over our purchases, and (still not really believing how cheap this 300 year old helmet was), and decided to go back to the item's page to check. Thankfully, it really was only £4.79- unfortunately, that didn't include the £59 postage for it to be shipped from China :(

Still, it came and it's pretty cool. Have a picture of my friend wearing it;


( Shrub Rocketeer is a twisted emotional husk, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 17:28, Reply)

I think that would explain the existence of this
I'm not getting drunk again until this auction has finished.
( useful_idiot, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 17:28, Reply)

Shopping when drunk.
I think i have a phobia of doing my food shopping unless im wasted in some form or another, usually pissed out of my face at 2am coming back from random places. Its fun! i treat it like a big mission. im sure the staff at costcutters think im nocturnal or wierd or something.
(Salbo_baggins, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 17:05, Reply)

Gin and eBay are bad:
A small bag of shredded newspaper (£6) and a big beetle in a glass box with only half a body (£12). I also bought a wheelchair from a carboot sale when I'd had four bottles of wine. It cost me £65 and I lost it by crashing into a river before I'd even got off the sale site. :-/
( grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 16:55, Reply)

Just remembered another.
Damn you 24hr Asda!

A cheese knife, twelve finger rollsm, a pack of turkey ham, a pound of cheese, a twix, a bottle of milk and a copy of Jerry McGuire on VHS.

One of my mates pulled the best one. He went out to get us McD's with one of our other mates after a very heavy session on the booze. Turns out he'd made a detour on the way to McD's and bought a Honda car for 28 grand. He lost his deposit when he sobered up. :-)
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 16:54, Reply)

Drunken purchase?
A flat in cocking Eastbourne.
.
Nearly three years later, I'm still here.
.
Arse.



Nice flat for sale in a prime south coast location, if anyones interested.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 16:51, Reply)