i once met the queen,
then i realised it was actually, A queen, and my arse was bleeding, damn acid
(fwack bang on it, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 23:10, Reply)

Queen Beatrix
My Grandfather won the highest civilian award in the Netherlands, and had lunch with her Majesty, Queen Beatrix (mind you, he's a Dutch citizen, like my father and I).
(Boomtown Rat, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 22:45, Reply)

Mistafeesh
Reminds me of the time when my great, great, great, great, great Grandma was wooed by Napolean. He too gave a watch that contained an image of himself. Bloody great looking watch it must've cost him an arm and a leg, shit at telling the time though, only had one hand.
(Lt Columbo, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 22:33, Reply)

My Uncle
Is named Charles, is pushing on 60 years old, is balding, has a tendency to pretend he's actually scottish by wearing kilts despite speaking with an accent so english as to be stereotypical, had a father who was in the navy, and is currently married to someone his parents didn't approve of.

I comfort myself with the knowledge that he at least has normal size ears and some semblance of a chin, not to mention a genuine man-sizefd hand shake.

But really, I'm quite distantly related to the Earl of Glasgow, not that I get anuthing for it.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 22:31, Reply)

my godfather
oh and my godfather is the son of an earl, and thus has an hon. in front of his name. is he royalty though? he has dogs and a range rover and both his kids went to boarding school so maybe. and he manages an estate on which to hunt.
(RooRooRasputin Lover of the Russian Queen, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 22:21, Reply)

Princess
my sister's godmother's lesbian life partner (that sounds a lot more distant on paper) is an indonesian princess. but of nowhere special, some really tiny place, no idea where.
but i have met her on many occassion, she usually comes with presents.

pop goes cherry
(RooRooRasputin Lover of the Russian Queen, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 22:19, Reply)

Teeth and toffs
One of my best chums is a Fijian princess whose full name translates as 'Princess Flower Wood Marie Little Tiny Pieces of Sharks' Teeth'. She's just called me from the 'Throne room' (the khazi).

I also used to go out with someone who claimed to be fourth in line to the Irish throne. It's been defunct for a couple of hundred years and they've been over here for longer, but try telling that to a load of old would-be-blarney toffs.
(whatswiththemonkey, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 22:19, Reply)

The missing red carpet
There were two large red carpets rolled up in the corner of the assembly hall. We hastily hid one of them and left through the back entrance from which we came; after all, the hall was locked off and we didn't want to get caught trespassing. T'was a heavy bugger. We dragged it to an obvious and far from brilliant hiding place below the platform where the drummer was placed during concerts. After school, we had a laugh and went home. That was the end of our inane prank.

Or so we thought.

Arrived the next morning to learn that the entire faculty had spent several hours grooming the entire school area in search of the missing red carpet. At the end they were forced to roll out just one carpet which extended half way down the outside stairs and only half way to the royal car. The queen mother walked several metres on non-royal(!) pavement. Actually, she probably didn't mind. The principal did mind, though. Humiliated and furious and much wanting to catch the perpetrators, expulsion would have been a likely outcome. Paranoia set in, not entirely unjustified. Several years later, a girl from our class told us how close she had been to ratting on us. She still thinks we overstepped a line there. I still think it would have been hilarious to have been a fly on the wall. As it was, I didn't even meet the queen mother, so obviously this answer doesn't qualify.

For that I apologize. And for the girth. And spelling.

(BTW: This took place in Denmark, with Danish royalty. You may think of them as equivalent to English royalty, only with less colourful habits.)
(spinoza, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 22:01, Reply)

ME!
I'm very distantly related from Italian royalty (when it existed that is).... So give me a swan to eat!
(mr.BIG I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 21:49, Reply)

Not me, a family member,
I wont tell you the full story of my Great Uncle's encounter with the Queen. You will either know it or it is readily available on the internets.

I'll just tell you his name:

Michael Fagan.
( Inigo Montoya Would wear you like a hat. A HAT!!!, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 21:27, Reply)

Maaaa
I have also had the pleasure of meeting the very fine king of puck. I even made a website for him.

(King Puck is a goat, queen puck is a little school girl. Gotta love Irish Festivals eh?)
(oeb, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 21:24, Reply)

Oh, just remembered another one, although I was only six at the time and not personally involved:
In about 1992, Prince Edward came to open my high-school's (then) new arts centre. So the usual tight security measures were employed before his visit and the accompanying ceremony; sniffer dogs, sweeping the place for explosives, making sure everyone curtsied properly for HRH and didn't suddenly start singing the Internationale, that sort of thing. On the day, he's standing around for some reason (I forget why) and starts talking to someone in the parade.

Prince Edward: Hello there [or something along those lines], which school do you go to?
Girl in parade: Northgate.
Prince Edward: Ah, which one's that?
Girl in parade: ...that'd be this one.

What makes it even more stupid is that the building had "NORTHGATE ARTS CENTRE" emblazoned on it in huge letters....
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 21:23, Reply)

Rock \m/
I once met Brian May

wait, wrong queen isnt it, damn

David
(442, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 21:19, Reply)

Blue blood
My girlfriend is direct descendant of Korean royalty.

That is all.
(Squash, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 21:19, Reply)

Almost...
The day I was born, the Queen mum was in the same hospital after getting a fish bone stuck in her throat, so I was in the same building at least, can't remember any of it though

Princess Anne also shares my birthday

Exciting, eh

David
(442, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 21:18, Reply)

I knew a lass in halls who was related to the Marquis of Nottingham
which was not actually unusual, as lots of people there were aristocracy of some kind. The lass in question was very nice, and not at all unattractive, but she was thick as two bull's lugs and conversations with her invariably had a backing track of crunching mental gears.

I, on the other hand, discovered that I was related to one of the porters.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 21:03, Reply)

His Racist Highness the DoE
I was standing at the back of the group when getting my Duke of Edinburgh gold thingby at St. James's Palace. Although Steve Rider did the actual presenting Phil himself turned up to potter round the room grinning cadaverously and shaking hands with the non-threatening short people in the front row.
He's absolutely miniscule; probably barely up to my chin (should I have wished to be that close to him) making him about 5'2". Had a look of drink about him (at about 10 in the morning) too.

I was also once working at the counter of the kitchen of a restaurant past which the Queen was driven. She was sitting down in a car so I have no idea how tall she was.
( wingpig wish I'd known about liquify eighteen years ago, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:54, Reply)

Luxie
Had a few drinks with this guy at uni. Not really much to say, nice enough bloke, fairly quiet seeming. Always called him Luxie. Used to drink in Reef and the Hogshead.

If there is a prize for dullest Royalty related posting, I think I am in with a chance here.
(Ocelot, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:49, Reply)

i met princess di
i was 8 and in harrods, waiting for the lift with my dad and my brother. she walked past us with 2 bodyguards and smiled at us as she passed us. not as great a story as an aquaintance of mine, who was kissed by her when he was in hospital, having his colostomy bag fitted.
( evil pixie, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:43, Reply)

We just met your mum!
When i was in primary school I met the queen. We had to sing to her in Leicester square after some opening or something. The thing is that our school had a school holiday in St David's the following week and as it also happened to be St David's day Prince Charles came to visit St david's cathedral. The end result was that instead of meeting Welsh people on his walkabout, the Prince of Wales was chased by a bunch of 11 year old kids from Westminster shouting "we met your Mum last week" all the way.
(kitandholly is dangerous when bored, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:42, Reply)

Saddam Hussein
I know he wasn't royalty as such, but he might as well have been.

My granny was a reprter during the Iran/Irag war, living in Baghdad. On her birthday Saddam gave her £100 and a watch with his face on it, and took her out to dinner.

She said he was very charming. He was trying to sweet talk her into writing nice things about him, and apparently succeeded with several other journo's.

But my granny rocked (in fact, as her name was Janet, I amalgamated Granny and Janet and called her granite). She saw through it all and carried on writing truthfully. Although she kept the watch and the money.
(teasus likes tea, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:29, Reply)

The Queen Mother...
...once popped round for tea one day. I wasn't expecting her so I had nothing ready, so I told her she could relax on the patio whilst I prepared something. She did just that, and for the next half hour or so she sunbathed topless in the back garden whilst I set about putting together a couple of bowls of strawberries and ice cream for us to have.

We were nearly finished, when, in a humorous moment she slopped cream over her baps and, thanks to Mr Kodak, I was able to capture the moment for eternity.
(Lt Columbo, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:29, Reply)

Encounters eh...
The Queen came to open a new building at the school opposite us (private school of course)... she came in her limo thing and when she came out about 200 people lined up at our fence booing, fingers and all, a couple behind the barriers turned and said everyone was acting 'like a bunch of Nazis' WTF? they got abuse hurled at him and they left, further booing ensued until we left for end of break... some teacher at my school looks like the Queen, if that counts... Buckmyham Plaice
(neorockz :), Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:26, Reply)

Honourable Hector
My Mum is a self-employed bookbinder. She used to do some work for a lowish meber of the royal family called hector. We called him honourable hector.

One time she was trying to get him to pay for some work she'd done for him. She'd paid out for materials etc, and he hadn't got around to coughing up for some months.

In desperation she said she really needed him to pay as we were totally skint. Apparently so was he, because he'd just bought a jumbo jet.

Our version of skint was having to eat weevilly oats and not much else. His was only having a couple of grand in his pocket right now.

I'm not bitter or anything though.
(teasus likes tea, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:23, Reply)

My Mate Kris
was at a pub, and saw Princess Annes daughter, the 'punky' one. She tried to push by with the usual 'don't you know who I am' bollocks.
He replied 'Yes.' and poured his pint over her. It was not all bad news though, he bought another pint shortly.
(BigAndyBee, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:16, Reply)

I met the Queen
...and he wasn't very funny, always said Graham Norton was overrated.

Can I also just say this is possibly the wankiest QOTW I've ever seen on b3ta.
(The Graduate Adding to the confusion since 1974, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:03, Reply)

Never met royalty i'm afraid..
.. but I do spend a unholy amount of time on the throne ;-).
( bluemeat has been best of all the animals since, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 20:00, Reply)

theiving get!
hal901 wev all seen billy connely. material thieveing charlatan!!!

back to question: i have a restraining order from all royalty. im not allowed to talk about it. fucking freeloading cunts....
(Formaly Over say's hello, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 19:46, Reply)

I once
bought a Royal with cheese at McDonalds.

/coat
( RedWine President of the S.C.U.M., Thu 3 Aug 2006, 19:40, Reply)

When I was tiny
we lived in Royal Deeside. One day, the Queen was going to pass through on her way to Balmoral, so everyone in the village came out to wave hankies and flags at her. All I can remember is a big black shiny car, and my mum bought me a balloon. It was red.
( Maladicta, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 19:36, Reply)