Francis cocking Wilson the Sky Weather presenter...
..delivering his weather report in the style of a Doctor informing a mother that her first child is stillborn.

You're telling us the bloody weather not informing us we have cancer you oily cock.

I can't even watch him for 5 seconds. Never have.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 15:29, 2 replies)

Uri Geller
Utter dog turd of a man.

He's a total parasite trying to get some publicity off the back of the death of Michael Jackson. I couldn't give a toss about Jacko, but watching Geller on the TV at the time, trying to make out he was some sort of close personal friend, was completely cringworthy, and false.

I hope he dies in a fire
(igotdamaged, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 15:25, 3 replies)

To all those...
...bemoaning those others who, like me, are talking full advantage of the opportunity to vent spleeny fluids about the mystifyingly famous fuckwad of their choice, I'd like to say:

1) We're answering the question posed this week. You aren't.
2) Fuck off.
3) Come back.
4) Fuck off again.

I think that about covers it. Oh, and fuck off.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Your
mum.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 15:10, Reply)

My time-saving technique.
Instead of hating individual celebrities, I hate fake tans and botox.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Kerry Motherfucking Katona...
...as previously mentioned, that will always be her middle name in my world.

Need rant? Then go here.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Joe Swash
For being on children-based quiz show "What do Kids know?" and cheating by looking at the answers on the kid's card. Come on, Swash, that's low.

Also he's a fucking idiot with a punchable voice. And he believes in ghosts.
(Bezerker, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:52, 1 reply)

Is it bad...
...that I'm clicking through every page of answers, doing a Ctrl-F to find every single mention of Russell Brand, then clicking "I like this"?

Ooh, look, another one. I like this.
(Guy Debord cette mauvaise réputation..., Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:41, 4 replies)

Jenny McCarthy
Because of her anti-vaccination lunacy. And the Pope for lying about condoms. People who know better and lie anyway, basically.

Don't have the energy to hate people off the telly who are a bit crap - I just don't watch them, mostly. But people who spout shite that kills people. That's worth hating.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:38, 2 replies)

Peter Andre
I don't really hate him, because I don't know him. But I hated that song he did with the really offensive lyrics about sleeping with your wife or girlfriend or something. He only really popped into my mind because he's doing a book signing at my local tescos today (srsly), as I type. My wife got held up in traffic because of that. Arse.
(SquidFish, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Bill Gates gets my vote.
I bought a computer with Vista.
( Lemmy Caution Everybody relax - Caution is here., Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:21, 10 replies)

Cheryl Cole (Again)
Putting aside for the moment that the quality of the products from that Britain's Got Retards-esque bag of old toss speaking volumes of her ability to judge levels of talent in others, total lack of any talent in-and-of-herself and the fact that she's simpering at me twelve fucking times over from the magazine stands when all I want is a packet of fags, what gets me most is that WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT HER TO SPEAK WHERE OTHERS CAN HEAR? Take that shampoo ad, for example:

"Dooooooooolllll? Laieeeeeeeeeeeefliss?" What's that then Chezza, your coversational style? Here's a tip, go take an English for non-English-speakers course. Then fuck off.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:06, 1 reply)

Chris Moyles
I'm sure there are plenty, and will be plenty more posts in which Moyles is the object of our dissaffection.

However, his show merely shadows that of the days of Chris Evans on Radio one. The difference being that Evans' show was pretty groundbreaking, close to the knuckle, witty and had an endearing quality about it, mainly due to the fact that no member of the show slagged people off thinking it was funny. Their humour had nothing to do with belittling people who call in or so-called celebrities - unlike those on the Moyles show.

Meanwhile, Evans is shoved onto Radio 2 while that fat, greasy, bitter damanged git gets the Radio one spot.

Bring back Evans. All is forgiven.
(dchurch bah, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:02, 10 replies)

Bitter, failed performance artist, failing barrister and psychopath...
Sebastian Winnett. Check out the tracing on his homepage : sebastianwinnett.com/Homepage.html
( lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Fri 5 Feb 2010, 14:00, 4 replies)

Golden Arches and Coulrophobia
Famous People I hate? Instead of giving you a list of people which are already on here 1,000 times I’ll do something different and take you back to the late 80’s when a wee me was only interested in one famous person… Ronald McDonald.

As it was swingin’ 1989 my sister was very much into Jason Donovan and Kylie, I was still a little too young to care, my thoughts were more linked to my stomach, specifically the mascot of the best place to eat in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! We were never really taken to Maccy D’s when we were little, my mother didn’t really approve of fast food, so my only chance to go would be if one of my lucky friends had a birthday party there. Well one wonderful weekend I received an invitation for a McParty and my heart did somersaults, not only was I going to be able to get a Happy Meal but I was also going to be able to meet Ronald Mc-Bloody-Donald!

Restless nights lead up to the party and finally when the big day arrived I was giddy with sheer unadulterated excitement. My mum dropped me off in my little frock and I tentatively placed my foot over the threshold of the Golden Arches… I… was… in. Much screaming and merriment ensued and once we had all suitably stuffed our faces with burgers and cake we were racing around burning off the energy playing hide and seek. Madly giggling with the birthday girl we had discovered a perfect hiding place underneath a table and awaiting being found… all of a sudden a big pair of yellow gloves appeared and pulled me out from under the table. I was lifted up, past the stripy socks, past the yellow suit to… the scariest face I had ever seen in my life! I recoiled instantly, bringing my hands up to my face. This wasn’t right, he wasn’t the jolly, small Ronald McDonald I knew from the cartoon pictures on my Happy Meal box, this was a big man with blood red lips and yellow teeth, right in my face - he was horrifying. I screamed and struggled as he guffawed and chucked ‘found you, found you’ and waved his arms in my face, he smelt of stale cigarettes and sweat, this was not my beloved Ronald. I looked over for help but the mums were busying themselves chatting and eating the remaining cake, they couldn’t give a crap that they had left the kids with this… monster. He started bouncing me up and down asking where the birthday girl was and I knew at that moment I was either going to cry or lash out, I chose the latter. I squeaked ‘put me down’ but he didn’t seem to hear or care, so I did the only other thing I could think of and kicked him.

As a child you don’t know much about testicles but now I’m older and I like to think a little wiser, I can categorically say that I’m 100% sure I kicked him square in his McNuggets. He dropped to the floor and exhaled painfully and I darted across the restaurant like a demented squirrel to the mums. ‘I don’t like it, I don’t like it’ I howled and pointed at poor Ronald who was now attempting to compose himself for the other children. He staggered over and tried to find out what was the matter with me, but it was too late, the damage had been done. I was petrified and only wanted to go home. My mum was called and I was taken early and I’ve never felt the same way about clowns as I did before that day.

Damn you Ronald McDonald, you are entirely responsible my crippling fear of clowns, you ruddy plum. P.S I'm sorry I kicked you in your 'special parts'.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:54, 16 replies)

John Terry
Not actually him but this entire bloody circus surrounding his affair right now. A footballer cheats on his wife and we're supposed to be surprised? Come on! Next you'll be telling me the Pope doesn't like gays! Oh yeah you did that last week...

But what really gets my goat is this dicsussion about whether he should retain the captain's armband. The fact that it's even being questioned makes the implicit suggestion that he should somehow be a shining example of virtue for everybody.

The very notion that professional footballers should be role models makes me nauseous.

EDIT: Gets even more ridiculous given this:
www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/john-terry-voted-dad-of-the-year-1709667.html
(originally posted by Avast on /links)
( pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:39, 5 replies)

This weekend...
...may be my last on Earth.

For one afternoon every year it becomes completely apparent that my dearly beloved is one of those foreign type people with her weird foreign ways. Yes, we may be getting married later this year. Yes, we may be looking round for a bigger place with a room we can – hopefully – convert into a nursery one day soon. And, yes, after years of the kind of relationships that caused the sort of hurt, pain, and punch-ups you’d usually associate with the final few scenes of a Rocky movie, I finally know with absolute certainty that this is the one!!! But all that goes completely out the window for one weekend every year. This fucking weekend.

Last year was bloody awful. Ended up having my angelic little sweetheart screaming: “YOU FUCKING ENGLISH CUNT!!!” at me at the top of her petit little lungs just prior to launching into a rendition of some load of old bollocks originally sung by Shirley Bassey or Tom ‘you’ve got a bunch of pubes on top of your head’ Jones. Then she demanded I leave the flat for a bit on account of my general English cuntiness and the fact I wasn’t too much into the game between a load of blokes wearing red and another load wearing white on the TV. This was during the half time interval. THE FUCKING HALF FUCKING TIME FUCKING INTER-FUCKING-VAL!!! Fuck knows what would’ve happened if England actually went on and won the fucker...

...I may have actually woken up the next morning dead (if you know what I mean).

Yep. It’s the rugby. England vs. Wales. Or, to put it another way, Those Imperialist Pig Dog SCUM Oppressors vs. The Peaceful Musical Druid Nation of Gentle Sheep Herders Who Welcome the Sons and Daughters of Every Other Nation of the World (except for the fucking English) into their Lush Green Valleys with the Quaint Road Signs and Village Names Written in Fucking Klingon.

Now, I suppose the English and Welsh rugby teams are famous in their own circles. (Personally not my cup of tea, all this picking up the ball and running with it while simultaneously attempting to rip the throat out of your opponent, well, it’s just not cricket). But I’m not too sure which team I should be hating. If England win, my usually loving, tender girlfriend will probably end up stapling my English bollocks to the wall before she goes out on the hunt for some Welsh cakes, some Welsh rarebit and a pint of Brains. But, on the plus side, and England win would be pretty damn amusing to me. If Wales win, she may just settle on rubbing in how superior the Welsh are at the fifteen aside game for the next few months while I get on with the important business of ignoring her and counting down the days til the proper World Cup with the round ball starts in the summer.

It’s all a little pointless, really. The Mrs. and I will still – despite the result tomorrow – be out and about flat hunting on Sunday. We’ll still be getting married later this year. Let’s face it, hating celebs is pretty damn pointless. Who gives a shit at the end of the day what some fucker you’re never going to meet says or does that you find annoying. If it annoys you, just turn the TV off, tune to a new radio station, or put down the newspaper. Hate... life’s too fucking short.

And as for which team I ‘hate’ more, England (cuz if they win I’ll have a load of aggro from the Mrs.) or Wales (cuz, well, I am English at the end of the day and it’s in my blood to want the team in white to win, even though this may lead to a little Welsh shoutiness on a certain street in North London)....

All I can say is here’s hoping for a draw... How about a QOTW about which celeb/historical figure we admire most instead??? Or, alternatively, which celebs got the biggest cock???
( SpankyHanky, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:36, 21 replies)

My 2p
Alan Carr: Fuck off and die under burning plastic, you annoying, whiny histrionic cunt.

Ant & Dec: You're not the new Morcambe and Wise, or the Two Ronnies for that matter, you're just cunts with too much media exposure.

Peaches Geldof & Fearne Cotton: FUCK OFF!

Joe Pasquale: Someone cut-out his vocal cords, ASAP.

William Hague: "Smug" made flesh. No wonder he used to work for Andersen Consulting - a well-known shower of cunts.

Gary Stringer [Reef]: JUST...FUCK...OFF.

Pete Doherty: Just hurry up and get your inevitable squalid drugs-overdose done with, please...

Jan Moir: Poisonous Professional Homophobe. I hope you contract Ebola. HIV is too good for you.

The Gallagher Brothers: Two fucking hyper inflated egos', not befitting from Beatles copyists.

Bono: Santimonious Cunt.

Nick Griffin: Simply Does Not Deserve To Live.

Paris Hilton / Victoria Beckham / Colleen Rooney / Cheryl Cole / Etc: Intellect Vaccuums who should go on a sponsored oxygen starvation diet for the good of the world.


And finally Bawling Chav Cunts who delight in playing shit R'n'B off their telephones in public, the should all be rounded up & forceably repatriated to an Island previously used for Anthrax testing...
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:23, 4 replies)

Steve Fucking Jobs
I hate him. He's everything that's bad about uttlery disingenuous corporate figureheads. A smiley face and a "Hey, I'm just one of you geeky guys!" persona masking a ruthless, egocentric desire to rinse as much money as possible from the often unquestioning captive audience that worship his overpriced products.

A man who did nothing but marketing and shouting at people in the early days of Apple. Now he just shouts at people. Admittedly, that's behind the scenes, yet he pretends to be everyone's favourite geeky uncle in his public appearances. Like Disney and Nintendo's public image, Steve represents the very worst kind of consumer-exploiting capitalism.

He promotes ultra-locked-down 'appliances', that just happen to spew revenue directly into his pockets, as being what people 'actually' want, when really his approach just creates a population of dumb users who still have no clue about the potential of the machines they buy - because Steve tells them exactly what they 'should' use those machines for. He wants to promote goods for people that are scared of computers, yet he doesn't take away that fear. He just gives them dumbed-down devices, because according to his methodology 'it's what they need'. It's dictatorial. It's patronising. It makes Steve even richer.

Contrastingly, I love Bill Gates, even though Windows is still horrific. Why? Because Bill still reviewed code, even when he was running the richest company in the universe. He also pays for something 30% of global malaria research. He's just committed billions to vaccinations in the third world. IMO, whatever wrongs Bill did with MS, he's righted them all a thousandfold.

I doubt we'll ever see Steve doing the same. Mostly because he doesn't care as long as you PAY MORE MONEY and LOVE HIM.
(Tont Tont Tont, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:21, 7 replies)

TV executives
BBC and Channel 4 chiefs seriously need to realise that when choosing TV presenters, "Gay" and "funny" are two different things.

Therefore there's no need to put Alan Carr or Graham Norton on every fucking programme you churn out.

Just mincing across the stage and living up to an outdated limp-wristed stereotype does NOT mean they should be plastered all over our screens.

Julian Clary did the same act more than 20 years ago, except he was funny AND gay.
(Barry Subchimp, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:18, 5 replies)

Ricky Hatton
Come on lad, you're not a real athlete. You're a shot fighter who eats to many pies and drinks to much.

I used to like you Ricky - I've been watching you fight for years but, as everyone with a little boxing knowledge knows, since the Kosta Tszyu fight you've never been the same. You've never shown the dedication to a healthy lifestyle that someone in your game needs to show. You're planning on one last fight and need to lose 3 fuckin stone!!! That's not right is it Ricky? It can't be good to continue piling on the pounds and then battling for 10-12 weeks to lose it again. I can't think of any other professional boxer who had a similar attitude outside of the ring. Also, do you need to fight? Really? Even with 2 MASSIVE losses I still consider you to have been a good fighter but come on; enjoy your money, enjoy your promoting, your mrs, your kid, enjoy your life!

You're chasing glory and recognition. You got both already mate, be happy with that. I'm sure you're a lovely, lovely chap but the fact that you are putting yourself at risk for one more chance at the bigtime is silly. Fair enough, you lost to the two best P4P fighters out there, but the way you lost speaks volumes.

I don't want to hate you Ricky but fuckin' hell you're a stupid twat.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:08, 3 replies)

People who waste time on internet forums explaining
exactly who they hate.
(MrKipling43, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:03, 2 replies)

Before the QOTW implodes...
Have a happy kitten.


(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:03, 5 replies)

Aw...
...sounds like there's a distinct lack of hugs round here. Let's get some love going in the room.

If you dislike celebrities this much, go on a media strike. Get rid of the TV (no license required, you can watch all the good stuff online anyway), stop buying tabloid newspapers and (especially)celebretard magazines and fill your time with something more relaxing / less irritating instead.

Celebrities are like fairies, if you stop believing in them they lose all their powers.
(rampants, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:02, 6 replies)

Vic Reeves.
aka Jim Moir.

Just.not.funny.

I can't remember ever hearing a witty line uttered from his mouth, neither can I remember seeing a sketch that had any wit in it. I do remember sketches that made no sense, so that people could laugh and when you ask "what's funny about that?" could look at you like you just shit in their ear and say "oh, don't you get it?". Very clever Vic/Jim whatever, but some people are not sucked in by that drivel and done-to-death *comedy* tactic.

On top of that, the twunt owes me a pint. I was playing with my band some years ago, when Jim comes up in the break and being friends with our singer asked if he could sing a few numbers in the second set. Up he comes and starts singing a load of crap "in the style of a club singer", whislt stomping around like a downs on mdma, when a friend of mine plants a nice, shiny, full pint up on the stage in front of me. I smile appreciatevly, and a few seconds later the song ends. Vic doing his usual "look at me, I look like a mong" act, throws the mic stand down on the floor.

Sadly, my pint was in the way of the floor and so it was no longer a pint.
I look at him, and he at me.

Just when I thought I heard the words, "Oh shit, sorry about that mate, let me get you another one. What was it you were drinking?", I realised that I was, of course, mistaken and the tight-fisted cnut had actually said no such thing, and instead had simply walked off stage.

Twunt.

To top it off, despite having got rid of the TV some years ago (never bothered replacing my old CRT when it finally gave up the ghost after too many house moves), he lives about 4-5 miles from me, and even if I pop to the local shop he seems to bloody show up.

There is no escape.
(dchurch bah, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:01, Reply)

I fucking hate every cunt
but here's some that really should just fucking die NOW.

No apologies if any of these are already dead and I missed the obit as I don't read papers/watch much telly any more.

Peter Mandelson - Cunt

All elected politicians - cunts

Anyone who has ever bought Heat magazine or similar, die you vacuous cunts.

Anyone who has ever bought Nuts magazine or similar, there's real porn on the internet and it doesn't cost the rainforests.

Anyone who has ever been in or even watched any reality TV programme, you perpetuate the shit and deserve all you get you cunts.

People who walk really slowly in front of you, or stop for no reason - just fuck off.

Cyclists riding on the road when there's a cycle path 2 yards away, or not riding in single file when people are trying to get passed.

Anyone involved in architecture or the construction industry - why can't you build something that doesn't fall apart the second you try to open a door?

The landed gentry - give us back our land you pointless cunts.

Anyone in PR or marketing - what is the point of your existence?

Bill Oddie - stick those binoculars up your arse.

Everyone who has anything to do with Top Gear including the viewers - you are responsible for Jeremy clarkson you cunts.

Jeremy Clarkson - WTF?

Anyone who has ever had anything to do with soap operas including the viewers - why do people care about shouting cockneys/northerners/scousers/australians. Read a fucking book.

Anyone in the printing industry who has anything to do with "celebrity" books including the cocks who fucking buy them. Literature should never be about profit, we wouldn't have Dante or Milton if those cunts were in charge back then.

All manufactured music acts. Music should be about expression and creativity not about the money. If you've got nothing good to say then juast fuck off and work in KFC. Also talking about guns or "bitches" is not big and it is certainly not clever.

Rupert Murdoch - Right wing cunt.

Anyone who has anything to do with the Daily Mail - including anyone who has ever bought it. After the euro elections they questioned whether the UK was becoming more rascist, after banging on and on about asylum seekers for the past 5 years is it any fucking wonder you fuckwitted shit eating mother fucking cunt scrapers.

Anyone who has anything to do with "sensitive" documentaries about human deformity. Fuck me up the arse, why?

Human traffickers. Call them what they fucking are. Slavers.

Anyone who has anything to do with any of the following industries and their customers. GM, agro-chemicals, fast food restaurants, arms industries, biotech companies, oil, farming (industrialised). Thank you all for fucking the planet for us.

Any one with the first name Dermot, Gus, Olly or Rupert. You just fucking know they will be a slimy untrustworth cunt.

Anyone involved in banking including the cunts in the branches and call centres. Just for going out of your way to be fucking difficult.

Anyone who uses their fingers to do quotation marks.

Les Ferdinand. GRAR.

Leslie Ash.

The roman emperor Octavian.

All Hollywood film stars.

Middle class kids who pretend to be "urban" or whatever shit they call working class these days.

Anyone who says "The customer is always right" - you're not - you're a cunt, and a wrong cunt at that.

Anyone religious.

Tony cunting Blair.
and his dad Lionel.

Jeffrey Archer - pretty much the forerunner of Mandelson.

Michael Jackson - here's one for the Jehovah's witnesses, do you realy want you and your kids to go to the same heaven as this fucker?

Anyone who thinks this is our country and "they" should fuck off home.

Boris Johnson.

Arthur Scargill.

The Thatcher family.

The guy sitting opposite me with a third in computer science and delusions of adequacy.

People who don't close their mouth when eating.

and

You, ya twat.

In fact the only ray of sunshine is that Jade Goody died last year, thus proving that cancer is a rather effective cure for racism.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 13:00, 12 replies)

Jordon aka Katie Price aka Tangoman
What a pointless, talentless joke of a woman. The woman marries in order to get some column inches. What is she famous for apart from for being famous. Some people actually look up to this woman, i mean seriously are they taking the piss. This woman needs shot in the face! Ok rant over but i really just hate the woman with a passion!

We also have Piers Morgan, talentless wanker.
Louie Walsh, little poison dwarf.
Sharon 'i can shout louder than you so are therefore the winner' Osbourne.
Jade Goody, just because she is dead doesn't make her less of a moronic twat!
Jodie Marsh, a complete horror of a woman, again famous for nothing.
Eamonn Holmes, smug prick, we know you support United Eamonn now shut the fuck up about it!
David Cameron, again utter smugness, would love to knock that guys teeth down the back of his throat.

I hate a lot of people, i could be here all day but i suppose i should stop getting angry and get on with some work.
(Dr. Gonzo, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Alistair McGowan
What can I say? There are some good impressionists out there. Alistair McGowan is not one of them, in my book.

Why? Well, a good impressionist, for me, can mimic someone’s voice perfectly, whilst also getting the mannerisms down pat and, thanks to clever makeup and costume, manage to look a bit like whoever they are impersonating. A bit like John Culshaw (Tom Baker – sublime) or Rory Bremner.

Alistair McGowan does not fit this equation. No, Alastair McGowan sounds a bit like whoever he’s doing, with unmistakeable traces of Alistair McGowan filtering through. Alistair McGowan also looks like Alistair McGowan dressed up as someone else and sounding a bit like Alistair McGowan pretending to be someone else. It just doesn’t work. Even on the radio, if I’ve tuned in to some programme with him as a guest and not realised he was on as a guest, and he’s in the middle of doing an impression, I immediately think, “Alistair McBloodyGowan”.

The droopy-eyed, draught excluder-eyebrowed twat.

Whilst I’m on the subject… Phil Cool. Fucking brilliant impressionist, but about as funny as a trip to the clap clinic.

And that Les Dennis was shit as well.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 5 Feb 2010, 12:50, 1 reply)