Make yourself comfortable...
Ralf Little - weasly streak of piss self satisfied. Mancunian life-lottery winner - he didn't earn any success he probably lifted it.

Gary Rhodes - the child catcher of cookery.

Lauren Laverne - I want to like her, I feel that I *should* like her but I just can't bring myself to swallow her self satisfied professional Northerner dilettantism.

Ian Hislop - I love Private Eye, agree with his stance on a whole host of issues but the bloke is about as welcome on my TV as Myra Hindley at a fun day at the local Primary.

Alan McGee - Scottish cunt. Should be teaching Business Studies in a failing Glasgow comp.

Bono - potato faced tax evading dollar whore dressed up with a RED cunting veneer of philanthropy. Twat.

Vernon Kaye - a collection of hair, teeth and suits. No discernible talent.

John Lennon - misogynist with a bong and a guitar. Dead now, let's move on.

Stella McCartney - pie faced Veruca Salt. Yeah, you made it with your talent not your surname.

Caitlin Moran - from her Wikipedia entry: "Critic and columnist at The Times. She regularly contributes to the Times' Alphamummy blog". She doesn't do what she says on the fat faced tin.

Everett True - Blah blah blah Nirvana blah blah Kurt blah blah and is now turning into Jonathan King for as my great Grandmother used to say "the life you live will tell on your face".

Peter Mandelson - slowly bumfucking the life out of the country since 1992.

There're loads....
(dlg, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 21:39, 4 replies)

Mike McClean is a Dirty Cunthole!
and told me to "shut the fuck up" under his breath after I had been forced onto the stage with my friend at a panto production of Peter Pan.
I was 10.
(Goodbye Doggy is re-sealable for freshness., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 21:37, Reply)

Lady Gaga
pretty average singer dresses like a twat in order to appear "eccentric"
All i have to say is if you're gonna dress like a twat at least make it practical not like shoving a net curtain over your head then stumbling about.
(stitched, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 21:31, 1 reply)

Phil Fucking Collins
For various crimes including:

1. Glorifying a thieving thug in "Buster", who was responsible for the train driver's death, and trying to make out he was some sort of Gor Blimey folk hero.

2. Informing his wife of their divorce by sending her a fax, and then letting a 24 yr old researcher "console" him. Dirty old goat.

3. Being sort of responsible for that advert with a bloke in a fucking gorilla costume.

4. Being such a smug tosser he just had to play at both the UK and USA Live Aid gigs. ("Bob Geldof's put Phil Collins on a plane to Philadelphia. There's nothing going on there this year, we just wanted the cunt out of the way" - Ricky Gervais about the 20th Anniversary of Live Aid.)

5. Having a smash hit called "Another Day in Paradise", all about homeless people, then fucking off to Switzerland to become a tax exile. The taxes on the £130million that slapheaded cunt is worth would help a lot of people at the bottom of the social spectrum, and wouldn't exactly cramp his style either. He wouldn't even miss it. That makes him a cunt.

6. For his insipid, shitty hotel background music. Listen to some of his big hits from the 80's they all start the same way, they might as well be the same song. There's some claves in every fucking intro that really get on my tits.

7. Nonce Sense.

8. Whining from afar about the state of the UK. If you choose to go and live abroad because you are greedy, you should have your UK passport revoked. Fuck you Collins, your opinion is worthless until you return and pay your way, like the rest of us.

There, that should do it. The sentence is death. NEXT!!!!!
(Rsoles, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 21:11, 4 replies)

Not people I hate, but people who hate people but then complain when they've gone.
I've never watched X Factor, Britain's Got Talent or any of that guff, so all I know about them is the conversations at work.

Now this is what I don't understand, there was this whole Jedward thing. I've only seen them on the TV once but everyone seemed to be obsessed with them a while ago. They seemed sure they were shit and annoying, which I agree with for the little I saw, however they were the only act on the show they talked about.

Everyone hated them, yet seemed to lose interest with the show as soon as they left.
If fact one girl I work with is going to see XFactor live (it should just be a mass gassing) but they only people she can remember from the show is Jedward.

Dumb fucks.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 21:03, 2 replies)

Nicky fucking bastard twatface in love with the sound of his own voice condescending jizzy pissflap Campbell
No Sir, I don't like him.
(joe is troubled Got all married and teh stuffs, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 21:02, Reply)

Lady fucking gaga as well!
Talentless, random consonant shouting trannie weirdo
(Darkpie 3.243F6A8885A308D31319, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:55, Reply)

I once had a
terrifing dream obout Nigel Havers driving a van like a right mad bastard - can't stand the smug plonker these days.

And I once saw a dog that looked exactly like Rory McGrath, so not that keen on him either.
(tyrefire2001 Is it a fast ship?, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:55, Reply)

I don't know their names and can't be bothered to look them up
But I hate the people responsible for bringing us the following mind numbing crap.....

Big Brother
X factor
Britains got talent
Pop Idol
Strictly come dancing
that Ice skating thingy

and as for actual people who I know the names of;

Gok Wan - utter twat
Gordon Brown - Fuck off you useless cunt
Camilla horse face bowles - although she must be quite talented in bed to lure anyone away from a MUCH better looking woman
Dennis leary - Stole Bill Hick's material and made it completely un-funny
Anthony worral thompson - possibly the only chef who could put you off a nice meal simply by talking
Ant + Dec - big headed cock munchers

many more should be mentioned, but I can't be bothered to type them all out.

Although, on the opposite end of the scale, 2 people who I actually enjoy watching are a Mr. James Martin and a Mr. Stephen Fry.
(Darkpie 3.243F6A8885A308D31319, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:54, 1 reply)

How curious..
I don't own a TV(through choice, decided it was 99.9% rubbish and a waste of time and brainwaves). I don't even glance at magazine racks(saw a copy of Heat or somesuch a few years back and confirmed it has no relevance to me whatsoever). I put a home made cd or ipod on in the car as having listened to various radio stations, found most to be similar in nature to TV).

Calm and zenlike? You betcha. Don't even know who half these people are, and am not getting the feeling I am missing out.
(Carmen Dyslexia, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:54, 3 replies)

Cilla Black
You haven't lived in Liverpool for about 300 years now, so drop the over-faked accent.

'Surprise Surprise' gave me nightmares as a kid, nightmares that you'd turn up one day at my school and sing. In that voice that sounds like a thousand ragged fingernails running down the roughest blackboard.
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:52, 2 replies)

News Anchors & Political Actors/Musicians
I am appalled at all these news anchors who have their heads so far up the Toothless One that they believe they are the story. It is always amazing when they have some expert on that disagrees with them and get offended because the anchor (smarter, better hair, can read copy written for them) isn't getting the proper respect they deserve. I mean, the news is secondary, the show is all about them.

Second, actors/musicians who think I give a rat's about their political views. Who cares what these drug addled drop-outs think? They can barely form a complete sentence, and expect me to fall in line?

I can only quote the sage Alice Cooper on the subject: it's "treason against rock 'n' roll because rock is the antithesis of politics. Rock should never be in bed with politics."

"When I was a kid and my parents started talking about politics, I'd run to my room and put on the Rolling Stones as loud as I could. So when I see all these rock stars up there talking politics, it makes me sick.

"If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we're morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal."

PS: Al Gore has got to be the in there somewhere - bloated, self-serving whiner of the first degree who has latched onto a dubious issue and is soaking all the money out of suckers that he can, while living in a mansion, flying a private jet and apparently eating everything placed before him. He's just a populist preacher for a new religion seeking money and power.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:50, Reply)

Ricky Gervais
The Simpsons has never been the same since you 'wrote' and 'starred in' that shitty episode a few years back. I think you infected all the previously good scriptwriters with whatever disease you have that makes you an unfunny one-trick pony. Yes I'm fast approaching 40 but I used to enjoy watching this gently entertaining programme with my daughter, until your truckload of humour-killing talent-draining fuckwittedness crashed into the studio.

I would pay good money to see many overweight people do that stupid 'Office' dance on your face. Whilst wearing cricket spikes. Smeared in pigshit and bleach.

Tosser.
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:49, 3 replies)

And the famous person I genuinely hate the most...
George Dubya Bush.

I really don't think I need to explain that one, do I?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:41, Reply)

Adam West
He knows why
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:38, 3 replies)

Oi, I haven't finished yet
The housewife's favourite geriatric - and that's just his joke book - Bruce "look at me I'm Sammy Davis Jr" Forfuckingsyth.
(The Jannie, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:36, Reply)

Frank fucking Sinatra.
Similar to Elvis in oh so many ways- started out good, ended up a horrid parody, egocentric and megalomaniacal, yet somehow beloved.

To me he personified everything that's truly horrid about Vegas and Atlantic City. Tacky, over-the-top, gaudy, relying on glitz and glamor rather than true talent... a one-man suckfest.

Here, have a double dose of nausea! www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt_E-iY6f58

By all accounts he was an arrogant dickwad besides in real life. But be that as it may, if the radio plays anything by Old Blue Eyes, I immediately lunge to switch it off- he has the same effect on me as the sound of a dental drill.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:20, 8 replies)

Russell Brand
I could end this at "nuff said", but given the admonition in the question, I shall expand. At length.

rant/
Russell Brand is an oxygen-thieving, talent-free waste of his father's ejaculate.
He achieves the rare combination of being unfunny, smug and pseudo-intellectual with an almost supernatural ability to make my blood boil at the very thought of him.
Against stiff competition, he turned out to be the very worst thing about the new St Trinian's movies.
Despite having hair styled by 240 volts and being a furry streak of piss with no dress sense, he has somehow gained a reputation as a ladies' man. I can only think that he must be able to lick his bushy eyebrows.
His one redeeming feature is that he has a face I could never tire of hitting.

/end rant.

Apologies that length prevented me expounding on Piers Moron, Jonathan Woss and Simon Cowell.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:14, Reply)

"Westwood"
Or "Tim" to his mum - with whom I wonder if he converses in the same 'ghetto' style as he does with every other poor sod who has the misfortune of being within earshot.
I really resent being made to squirm in the comfort of my own home, but this faux 'gangsta' has me clenching.

Who shot Tim Westwood? Don't know, but I'd like to shake their hand.
(i.charlius *Two Ronnies Theme*, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:10, 5 replies)

no naming names...
but boybands and RnB singers. they're clogging up the charts with their incessant crap, we're due a change. we need metal. we need rock. we need... pretty much anything but what we have at the moment. unless some new guys show up singing opera and become a hit, the charts can't get much worse in my eyes.
(venort apparently exists, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:05, 1 reply)

Anti Nazi League.
So which 'Nazi' people are they raging about these days? The real ones are all dead so that means that they are all raging against nobody. Distinct lack of washing and predominantly populated by crusty juggler types.

Their demo's against the BNP seem to be self defeating by dressing up in all the gear that makes them alienate themselves against the average member of the public who see them as some kind of hard core lefties that love to sponge off society. Look chaps, the 1970's were a very long time ago and standing around a brazier whilst waving a flimsy cardboard slogan looks, well, crap. Even the Tories look slicker these days.

Wankers.
(pissflaps. FSPW, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:01, 3 replies)

Has anyone said this yet?
Piers Morgan having a career is an actual, proper, honest-to-god travesty of justice.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 20:00, 3 replies)

And another thing
With just one exception, anything Ricky Gervais has done has made my flesh crawl. The exception was the "dentist seeing dead people" film whose title I've forgotten, which I found really funny.
(The Jannie, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:57, Reply)

Doctor What
David Bloody Tennant. He's got the acting skills of a plate of custard.
(The Jannie, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:52, 3 replies)

Jockish turd-burglar "interior designers"
Who employs these tossers? Is there some coven of brain-dead harpies constantly writing to the daytime TV people saying "what we'd watch all afternoon would be crap diy, preferably presented by some poncy brownhatter with a pantomime Scottish fairy voice. We'd also like it to have an arbitrary and artificial time limit and be imposed on some poor mug who doesn't want it"

Send them doon the Sarry Heid on a Se'urday nicht and see where their shit designs get fitted.
(The Jannie, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:47, Reply)

Do cartoon characters count?
First on my Must Die Now list is Spongebob Squarepants.

Aside from the irritating face they gave him, there's the godawful voices of him and Patrick. I hear them and feel instant revulsion. I've tried watching it with my kids, but I just can't get past the voices.

But worse than that... far worse than that...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyOoTfb-JqU

This is responsible for my kids having discovered Tiny Tim. And now that grating falsetto can often be heard echoing through my house as they think he was hilarious.

*rampage*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:32, 2 replies)

Anthony Worrall Thompson
Not only does he have a cuntish name, he looks like something from Lord of the Rings and has an awful gremlin-y voice.
(elless, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:30, Reply)

Nigella Lawson
1. that inane grin
2. her oversized jugs
3. her food tastes like shit
4. the people she get's over for her 'impromptu' gatherings in the middle of making a tv programme
5. Her father
6. they way she couldn't wait for her old man to pop his clogs so she could hitch up with a multi millionaire (she moved in with him 9 MONTHS after her hubby had been laid to rest - kerching!!)
7. her hair needs a good wash
(pastcaring trembling in a corner....., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:14, 11 replies)

Elvis fucking Presley.
Yeah, I know, everybody loves Elvis.

WHY?!?

Okay, back when he started getting famous he was a damn good performer. But doesn't anyone remember what he gradually mutated into? He was a fucking joke before he died, a bloated assclown parody of himself that no one took seriously anymore- until he died, whereupon he became immensely talented and loved by all.

He was a fat hillbilly hick with a god complex. The only bad thing about him dying was that it took him so fucking long.

On the other hand, I have to admit that he's posthumously given me many a chuckle as I glance at the tabloids in the supermarket...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:14, 9 replies)

This woman not only does she have an annoying voice, annoying eyes, annoying head wobble, annoying hair, annoying clothes and everything else but in her infinite wisdom the better half decided to teach our nipper some baby sign language, whilst it does work and is useful, the bloody dvd seems to be on repeat for all the hours that jnr is awake and if it is not on she asks for it.

I suppose any dvd that a kid is obsessed with is going to be annoying though
(bluehamster, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:07, 1 reply)