I'm scared of posting anything on QOTW
Because if it's remotely wrong or irregular or unacceptable I'll be pilloried and vilified.

Some people might take it further and attempt to contact my employer. Some people might assume that I constitute a personal threat and some people might attempt a lesser assumption of authority.

Who knows? If you think you do - do it for the post count.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 19:31, 48 replies)

I hate people who use a dash instead of a semicolon - it's very lazy.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 19:35, closed)

^ upset

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 19:49, closed)

[reply 2367790]

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 21:08, closed)

I would suggest that contextually it is more appropriate.
I am not presenting an alternative.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 19:50, closed)

[reply 2367789]

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 21:08, closed)

semicolon comma
( .Yeti., Fri 12 Sep 2014, 19:57, closed)

mnnng

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 20:08, closed)

Joey!

( .Yeti., Fri 12 Sep 2014, 20:23, closed)

you punctuation-fail Deacon

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 9:10, closed)

Go on then: explain to me why, in your view, there should be a semicolon rather than a comma between the two clauses above.

( .Yeti., Sat 13 Sep 2014, 12:15, closed)

Because it's replacing ", then" where "then" is acting as a conjunction.
Actually, I've changed my mind. But you're still a Deacon

*Joey spazz arms and mnnng chin*
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 12:40, closed)

I've never heard that rule and I wouldn't give it the time of day from a glow-in-the-dark Casio watch.
*belms and gurns whilst waving hands around in a flid motion*

I used to live less than a mile away from where Joey Deacon lived. It's not contagious though.
( .Yeti., Sat 13 Sep 2014, 12:55, closed)

a semicolon to replace a conjunction is pretty basic stuff
www.grammar-monster.com/lessons/conjunctions_and_semicolons.htm

*deacon hands, full belm and spazzy shuffle*
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 13:09, closed)

The first clause is not an independent clause, though.
It's dependent on the second clause for the resolution of the conditional.

*Monty Python fish-slapping dance*
( .Yeti., Sun 14 Sep 2014, 18:27, closed)

that's why I changed my mind
*slavic dance with kicking and shouting and fur hats*
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 14 Sep 2014, 23:17, closed)

[reply 2367791]

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 21:08, closed)

Even worse
When it's an 'n' dash and not an 'm' dash.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 21:18, closed)

*eye twitch*

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 22:10, closed)

I fancied the girl out of Hanson

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 9:11, closed)

You mean 'en' and 'em'.
Get it right...
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 22:12, closed)

Look mush. The accuracy of his punctuation becomes inconsequential
when the best that his vocabulary can produce is "do do".
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 12 Sep 2014, 21:27, closed)

[reply 2367778]

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 19:54, closed)

Good lad.
It's IMPORTANT. We need to get this message across.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 19:59, closed)

[reply 2367788]

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 21:03, closed)

sweet dubdubs

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 22:50, closed)

Beware any innocuous looking links in any gazzes you receive.

(spl00sh!, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 22:24, closed)

I am scared of Dr Shambolic
His name is enough to bring me out in a hot flush.
(maggied Riding the Gravy Train on, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 8:08, closed)

^ gay

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 8:32, closed)

name hideous face
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 10:54, closed)

a
flush pants
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 13:21, closed)

that's probably the menopause
On the bright side, at least that means you won't get to inflict your ridiculous hippydippy parenting fails on any more unfortunate children.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 13:21, closed)

Mayonnaise makes an excellent dip
You ghastly prole
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 14:43, closed)

"dip" from shop-bought mayo? yerr ... you're well posh

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 14:55, closed)

Who said it had to be "shop bought"?
Projecting again...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 18:13, closed)

hahahahahaha fucking hell

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 18:18, closed)

^Very upset.

(SlantedScience, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 20:39, closed)

[reply 2368205]

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 14 Sep 2014, 23:34, closed)

Here you go sweetheart, a basic one for beginners
If it's too difficult, try asking a 3 year old to help

www.realsimple.com/m/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/basic-mayonnaise-10000000663046/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 13 Sep 2014, 21:42, closed)

ouah t'as raison ... au niveau des sauces françaises j'suis vachement nul
mmmmnnnnnnnnngggg
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 14 Sep 2014, 3:03, closed)

I can't be arsed with Google translate
so I'm just going to assume that this is an admission that you like sucking off Frenchmen.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sun 14 Sep 2014, 7:01, closed)

he likes their tasty homemade mayonnaise

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 9:04, closed)

^thinks "dips" are dead posh like^

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:21, closed)

^ knows nothing about being posh ^
ask your wife what "bougeois" means, eh?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:25, closed)

"bourgeois" you thick cunt
dunno where you're going with this, pet ... prolly best you stick with your classy mayo dips and fancy dress spin-the-bottle parties and leave grown up stuff to the grown ups, eh?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:48, closed)

it was a typo, you utter spastic
we've all seen the pizza pics. your idea of haute cuisine ain't exactly that haute, shall we say.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:56, closed)

oh god you thick pleb

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 13:47, closed)

if you had guests who were polite enough to eat it
they would have been tramps that you invited in for the purpose.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 14:47, closed)