It's always a plus being a woman.
At various bars and clubs, I'll often get older foreign men coming up to me trying to dance. I generally decline, because I can't understand a fecking word they say. Once in awhile, when I'm running short on money or can't be bothered to bring any with me, I'll accept a dance from one of these said foreigners, but only if they buy me a drink. After the drink is purchased, we head back to the dance floor.

Now, these foreign men tend to throw down their "best" dance moves and they ALWAYS do a Michael Jackson-esque spin. In the middle of their incredibly unoriginal spin, I turn around and walk into the forest of people dancing, leaving the men dazed and confused and short 5 quid.

Give it a go ladies. It works every time. ;)
(Grass, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 7:05, 29 replies)

You sound like a real charmer!

(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 7:36, closed)

Hahahaha using people for your own gain FTW
I like to tell emotionally vulnerable girls that I love them and care about them so that they sleep with me, then dump them like a sack of spuds once I'm done.

That way, I get what I want.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 8:15, closed)

Well said.

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:16, closed)

^this
made me chortle
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:19, closed)

Stop giving away my secrets.
How else am I going to get laid in this brutal world of flirting and hotter men than I?
(JaxxKami, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:37, closed)

"Faint heart ne'er won fair maid"
Or the short answer: You're not.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:42, closed)

To be fair...
It wasn't really working for me prior to this.
(JaxxKami, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:45, closed)

Wow.
What a catch you are.
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 8:23, closed)

lol,
this is coming from the woman who has a post in her profile describing how her boyfriend regularly pisses on her :)

I'm thinking upper class here :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 8:28, closed)

So, it was you...!

( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 8:37, closed)

You could just
Toss them off in the bogs, you'd earn drinks and some for that!
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:03, closed)

You sound lovely
Fancy hooking up sometime?





*Does a Michael Jackson-esque spin and disappears into the crowd.
(Kip, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:18, closed)

pfft!

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:42, closed)

We may be losing focus here, Gents!
After all, they're only foreigners.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:26, closed)

You are Richard Littlejohn
AICMFP
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 11:01, closed)

So you'd never do this to a Brit?

( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 11:07, closed)

hehe, thats why i don't buy women drinks, get them to buy YOU one, then you know that your in.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 11:38, closed)

You haven't been 'in' for a while, have you?

(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 11:44, closed)

I see that your from the US and that is the totally done thing over there....plus no I have not been in for a while because I have been in relationship with mortgage for 4 years.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 17:24, closed)

Yawn
Trip trap over the bridge.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 11:49, closed)

Do blokes really fall for that?
If I buy a girl a drink I fully expect her to let me handcuff myself to her.

Or at the very least sign a legally binding contract that I'll be able to finger her in the bogs later.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 12:51, closed)

The best part
is when you age out after a lifetime of playing on your looks to get what you want, and find yourself alone, broke and without any way of recovering from either one because you've become such an unpleasant person to be with that no one will come anywhere near you.

That is, it's the best part for the rest of us who get to watch.
( Wanderer, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 13:20, closed)

This, this
and thrice this. Then you'll have to start offering anal just to get a peck on the cheek.
(The man with the flan swashed his buckle on, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:46, closed)

Be careful...
One day you'll get the same guy trying it on again, & you wont recognise him & mid spin, he'll stick his arms out & take your bastard head off! I've seen this done, in a bar, in Yeovil, but you weren't there, so fuck off!
(Dr Fishfinger Want's to see a fat man give a tit wank, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 14:05, closed)

Yeovil you say...
...in Chard we just fuck our relatives, none of this flirting bollocks.
(Corbo, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:11, closed)

Mmmm
What do you do if these "foreign men" do NOT do a Michael Jackson-esque spin? Fuck them for the £5 worth of booze you are trying to rip them off for?

there are names for your sort.......and they are about as pleasant as you sound.....
(TAZ220 Not giving a toss since, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 15:41, closed)

I notice some negative comments.
But this is, after all, what a hell of a lot of people do every day.
Personally, I applaud the OP for providing a service much like that provided by "The Real Hustle"'s "Jess" -- exposing guys who think the right way to start something worthwhile is to give a stranger money.
If you want to pay for sex then buy an hour of a whore's time -- if you want a relationship try just being a real fucking person.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 18:37, closed)

This isn't a tale of lesson teaching though.
This is a way of getting free drinks when she "can't be bothered to bring any money with her".

Least that's how I see it.

Good point on not expecting to 'buy' some girl with a drink. It usually takes at least 5 ;)
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 22:32, closed)

See my reply above.
If girls are stupid enough to fall for my pathetic lies, then it's their own fault and they deserve everything they get.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 8:59, closed)