Matings calls
What is the mating call of a blonde?
- Ooh, I think I'm drunk...

What is the mating call of a brunette?
- Has that damn blonde left yet?

What is the mating call of a redhead?
- NEXT!

Gingers Unite, stand by me and give me a click in support of the Cause!
(Rumbling Bear rumbled on, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 12:37, 2 replies)

My best mate
My best mate is a ginger. I met him ont the first day of school and we hit it off straight away. He was very very ginger and had a full set of freckles and also, as if to make him stand out more he was at least 6ft3 tall by the time we graduated from school. But it never really bothered me we used to get up to the most crazy make stuff in school and what was really weird to was not once did anyone really bring up his hair in school to make fun of him. Mind you i have a feeling its becuae he came from quite a large family and his older brothers would give him some level of security. His older brother was headboy and he had to older very burly twin brothers on our house team. Anyway i have always had a thing for gingers myself and eventually i ended up dating his younger sister who had a full flowing head of red hair, im now married to this woman. But i'll never forget my best mate Ron i still see him all the time as hes now married to a girl i also was good friends with at school.
(redman89, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)

(Unpleasant) Protest Anecdote
Would have been an answer to previous question: www.b3ta.com/questions/shitstories2/

I had rather a lot to drink last night. I have just been to the loo to relieve my rumbling guts, and amidst the foul brew which poured forth, was a single, fully intact pimento-stuffed cocktail olive.

I have no memory of eating olives, let alone swallowing whole.

I must stop doing this on school nights.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Someone told me
That Gingers can't do Jazz hands
(Dwarfsmuggler Has hogtied Snow White, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 12:29, 6 replies)

G.I.(nge) Jo
My best mate is known universally as Ginge. His early life played out like a row of dominos all falling down:

As well as being a ginge, he was also brought up a Jehovas Witness. His mum used to take him knocking. Their circuit included our schools catchment area. We went to a rough school. In Cardiff.

You'd have thought getting fisted by your genes would be bad enough without your parents making it 10x worse...
(Stuffed Chimp, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Hey, Rob...
...when are we going to get YOUR story.

It is traditional for the person that suggested the topic to at least give it a go.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 12:08, Reply)

my nephew looked wounded when i referred to his ginger hair
in his strong glasgow accent he growled

'it's no gingurr - it's African Sunset'

!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Bloody Hooligan Classmates
There were three “red headed” people in my year at school. None particularly interesting, sorry.

G really really looked like one of the Riddlers. And people used to hum the theme when he went past. He was alright apart from when he told me he wanted to "ride" one of my friends. When we were in year 7. Yukky boy.


"


Another guy originally nicknamed “Ginger” (but pronounced like gingham) gobbed in the mouth of the dummy when we were doing first aid training.

A girl, who when I last looked at her Facebook photos had her boobs out with a shaved head at the Burning Man Festival.
( awayfromthenumbers, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Angry Ginger....
I am a ginger and I am pissed at the amount of people with ginger hair that allow themselves to be victimised at school/by workmates etc etc.I too took years of abuse before realising that I should not let people take the piss and it is all thanks to my mate H.

I sometimes class myself as a bit of an unlucky bugger as I have a number of genetic flaws including ginger hair. Apart from my hair colour I am also pretty tall (just over 7 foot tall last time I checked) and have a speech impediment. Thankfully during my college years I realised that if I grew it long my hair would not look as orange (OK I spent more time getting pissed or studying for my engineering course rather than the upkeep of my hair but meh).

Even though I had toned the colour down I still recieved a lot of mick taking and theres only so much that a bloke can take. After one night of particular bad piss taking I went on an all night bender that totally changed my life.

I woke up the next morning totally hung over and in a room with H an ex services bloke who had just quit his job and was looking into a few other forms of employment.

H taught me that you only get picked on if you let it happen, and from then on my personality went from a reserved kind of chap to one that could easily rip your arms off for something as trivial as losing a board game.

Eventually me and H decided to go into the logistics business together and have done pretty well, we have our usual banter and I know that my temper has got us into trouble a couple of times but meh you only live once.

Some would say that my quick temperament is not a good thing to have but I disagree, if I was still a meek individual I would have never nicked that sodding AT-ST.

Im also still pissed off that I never got a medal at the end of the film when I clearly did as much work as H. Kinda glad he got frozen in carbonate now.Also apologies for crap spelling as wookie hands aren’t that good on Logitec keyboards.

I’m off to get drunk.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 11:54, 4 replies)

I have Autumn Peach coloured hair
It gets me laid.

That's all you need to know.

length....that would be telling.
(pastcaring trembling in a corner....., Fri 26 Feb 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Loved this film when I was young.
Though everyone should watch it.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 26 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Ginger Haters Part 2.


Admit you like redheads and this one and his chum might take their clothes off. Unless you're so against redheads in which case you will burn in hell forever.

Now stop this nonsense and be nice to each other.

Jesus.
(Tugnut I got them all..., Fri 26 Feb 2010, 11:11, 3 replies)

Prejudice. A song by Tim Minchin. Look it up on Youtube
This is a song about prejudice
And the language of prejudice
And the power of the language of... prejudice
It's called
Prejudice

In this modern free spoken society
There is a word that we still hold taboo
A word with a terrible history of being used to abuse oppress and subdue
Just six seemingly harmless letters arranged in this way will form a word
With more power than the pieces of metal and that are forged to make swords
A couple of G's an R and an E an I and an N
Just six little letters all jumbled together have caused damage that we may never mend
And it's important that we all respect that if these people should happen to choose to reclaim the word as their own it doesn't meant the rest of you have a right to its use
So never under estimate
The power that language imparts
Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break hearts
A couple of G's G's unless you've had to live it an R and an E Even I am careful with it
An I and an N and in the end it will only offend don't wont to have to spell it out again

Yeah

Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger
Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger
So listen to me if you care for your health
You wont call me ginger less your ginger yourself
Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger

When you are a ginger life is pretty hard
Years of ritual bullying in the school yard
Kids calling you ranga and fanta pants
No invitation to the high school dance
But you get up and learn to hold your head up
You try to keep your cool and not get head up
But until the feeling of I'll is truly let up
And the word is ours and ours alone don't you know

Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger
Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger
So if you call us ginge we just might come unhinged
If you don't have a fringe with at least a tinge of the ginge
Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger

Now listen to me when I am looking for sympathy
Just because we're sensitive to UV
Just because we're pathetically pale
We do alright with the females
Yeah I like to ask the ladies round for ginger beer
And soon their running their fingers through my ginger beard
And dunking my ginger nuts into their ginger tea
And asking if they can call me ginge
And I say "I don't think that's appropriate!"

Cus only a ginger can call another ginger ginger
Only a ginga can call another ginga ginga
And all the ladies agree it's a fact once you've gone ginge! you can't go back
Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger

Yeah go ginge go you funky ginge

Yeah funky ginge mofo

Yeah you can call us bozo or fire truck
You can even call us carrot top or blood nut
Yeah you can call us match stick or tampon

But fucking with the G word is just not on
If your a ginger phobe and you don't like us
You gonna stand up to the fight if you want to fight us
But if you cut yourself you might catch gingavitis
So maybe you should shut your funky mouth

Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger
Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger

So if you call us ginge you can't winge if your injured
If you don't have a tinge of the ginge in your minge

Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger yeah
And you know my kids will always be clothed and fed
Cus pupas going to be bringing home the ginger bread
And they be pretty smart because they'll be well read
And by read I mean read and the other kind of read wooo

Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger wooo
Only a ginga can call another ginga ginga
Just like only a ninja can sneak up on another ninja

Yeah only a ginger only a ginger only a ginger yeah
Are you listen-inga I'm not pointing the finga
I'm just having a singa
I'm just reminding ya!

But only a ginger can call another ginger
Ginger
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 10:42, 5 replies)

TIP: Don’t go to Puglia on holiday if you’re a ginge and want to get laid.
As I’ve mentioned before I’ve got some Italian in me. No, my bowls don’t contain the evidence of a hot night of passion with that great big sweat monger, Luciano Pavarotti, his putrid testicle tadpoles mixing with my shit deep inside my sphincter, being shaken not stirred every time I switch arse cheeks on my chair like the unholy contents of a rigorously shaken cocktail maker.

What I mean is my dad’s one of those ‘forriners’. There were drawbacks growing up with an Italian surname. People thinking I could play football like Roberto Baggio, people assuming I could sweat the best spaghetti Bolognese they’d ever tasted out of my pores on account of having the recipe imprinted in my DNA, and later when I was older girls expecting me to live up to the ‘Italian Stallion’ tag, when what they actually got was the knackered old mangy Midlands pit pony with gout version of sexual intercourse.

But there was one major positive too. The extended family had a house over in Lesina in the Puglia region of Italy. And every summer during my teenage years and early twenties I’d fuck off over there for a free holiday. Italian beer is great. Italian girls are dirty as fuck. Food’s cheap. And it’s sunny. GET IN THERE!!!

After I’d finished my A-Levels a group of mates and I took our lives into our own hands and Ryan-Aired it over to Pescara Airport then made our way down to Lesina by coach. Included in this troupe of oily skinned, pimply faced, sex obsessed teenagers was my mate Darren.

And yes, Darren was a ginge. His hair was so fucking red it looked like he’d been the loser in a fight with a stegosaurus on its period and somehow during the struggle Darren’s head had become lodged deep inside the gigantic reptilian’s clout of doom. Darren also had the full body freckle pebble dashing as if a group of outsider artists had armed themselves with toothbrushes, dipped them in watery diarrhea, and spent the afternoon flicking poo at his naked body.

Anyway, we get down to Lesina. Darren’s already lobster pink and peeling, the hot Italian sun’s burning the living shit out of his weird alien skin.

We go out and find a bar and start drinking, as teenagers do. And – also something teenagers do – after a few too many beers we decide we’re God’s gift to women and possibly the most attractive bunch of go getters that have ever lived in the entire history of the world. So we start trying it on with the locals. By now it’s getting a bit dusky, one of my mates Ian cops off and disappears into the night for a quick fumble and fingering session down by the lake. Soon after another lad scores and departs with a fat Italian bird. Possibly an own goal, but a fucks a fuck, I suppose. And Darren’s becoming increasingly frantic. He’s not getting anywhere. The local Southern Italian girls are just not interested.

This pattern went on for pretty much the entire fortnight we were there. By the end of the holiday each of us had at least offered a stinky finger to the rest of the lads while proudly proclaiming: “Sniff that!” After a session down at the lake. One or two had actually done the whole dirty with a local girl. Much kudos and back slapping.

All except Darren. He hadn’t even had a sniff. And he was going a bit mental about it.

And on the last morning we were there I was having a coffee with one of my uncles who lived over there. He asked me how the holiday had gone. I said it’d gone well. He asked if I’d ‘got any’. I felt like saying: “Sniff this finger, Uncle!” But decided against it. I told him we’d all got some except for Darren.

My uncle said: “Ohh, he wouldn’t get laid over here,” in his fucked up Italian/Coventarian accent.

“Why’s that?” I asked.

And my uncle shrugs his shoulders: “His hair. His red hair. Round these parts people think it’s a sign of the devil... the pretty girls don’t want to sleep with Satan... ” and my uncle pauses, lighting a Marlboro. “Come to think of it, the same applies for the ugly girls too...”

That left me pretty speechless.

And that’s how Darren got his nickname from then until this very day: Always gets a few weird looks when you shout: “Oiiiii, SATAN !!!” Across a crowded bar.

True story.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 10:32, 6 replies)

Years ago
I used to have a best friend who was ginger. He used to dress weirdly, and to be honest his hair was fucking appauling, not just because of the colour, but he had the most horrendous mullet (if you've got ginger hair and you're a bloke, why grow it LONGER?), but this was nearly 20 years ago so most of us looked like tits anyway.

Anyway, as most people can probably attest, when you're young, you don't always make friends with the 'right' sort of person, and this guy was a bit of a bad influence on me. We used to do some stuff i'm really not proud of these days, and one particular day we even stole a substantial portion of cash. (I think my mother is partly to blame, but that's another QOTW)

Feeling pretty good about ourselves, we headed over to the local shopping arcade to enjoy the spoils of our victory. I was a dab hand at the old After Burner (anyone remember that?), and I was flying around like a young Maverick when my mate appears and tells me some copper is looking for me! Naturally I panicked, and thinking I was rumbled, I bolted for the nearest exit I could find.

I guess my friend tried to throw him off the scent or something, I heard a yelp from behind me and that was the last I heard of him.

I found a really old picture of him the other week content8.flixster.com/photo/10/87/50/10875058_tml.jpg
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 10:17, 1 reply)

All Giner girls...
are dirty.

All of them.

They love it and it's a fact.
(TheManofScience, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 10:16, 2 replies)

Stop the hate
www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6TYQaDthIY
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 10:07, Reply)

infectious
A friend of mine has a ginger wife, and a ginger daughter ... recently he grew a tash (for Movember) ... it came out ginger .. we suspect it must be catching.
(Simian Typewriter Supplies Pty. Ltd. is house hunting in the neighborhood of infinity, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 10:06, Reply)

handy retort
for we of the red persuasion.

'Hair dye - five quid. Facelift - 5 grand. Rather be ginger than ugly mate'
(hypnoticme is an anarcho-syndicalist commune, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 9:52, 2 replies)

Protest Anecdote
So anyways my last 14 days have been pretty brutal tbh.

It started well in all honesty. Went camping with some friends (NB: the journey there was a lot more harrowing than initially expected) to see the world cup. You know, the usual. But some cock-badgers couldn't take it that their team lost so they started setting fire to all the tents and running around all in black (reminded me of the last night of Reading festival).

So we all head back to school and there are loads of new overseas students who are making life hell, as well as several new teachers (though the glorified homeopathy teacher still has it in for me). Our school was hosting some event for the older kids and the rules were pretty strict. But, some flange-cannon put my name in and it is like a contract so I have to take part. Now everyone thinks I'm an attention seeking prick (including my best friend, who is a right foul git - he is ginger, so no surprises there).

Long story shortish, I had to fight a bloody dragon, which really pissed on my bonfire, but escaped as it nailed itself into a bridge.

I now have one golden egg. Any ideas b3tans?

HP
(satanstolemyteddybear Mu hõljuk on angerjaid täis, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 9:45, 12 replies)

I like the ladeeys of the red persuasion.
I like them with a sthlight lisp too (I know this is just my little kink) I also would like to add that they don't taste funny. Just like chicken.
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 9:35, 2 replies)

GINGER HATERS


Admit you like redheads and this one might take her top off. Unless you're so against redheads that you don't want her to take her top off...

Edit: well, it's almost over, so get your last shots in. Or if you think I'm attention whoring you can continue to mention that. Though really people, I'm from Nevada: where everything's legal, so you expect me not to whore it up?

Anyway, I think we should start a charity to get Donkey Gums on some sort of medication before he snaps and starts skinning hookers.
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 9:07, 28 replies)

Gingers stop whinging.
Racism, bigotry etc? I think not.

I doubt anyone with ginger hair has been denied a job because of it or has had a partner's parents get angry because they are going out with someone who has ginger hair or has been beaten up or spat at.

Humans will always make fun of other humans, whether very tall, short, bespectacled, skinny, overweight, posh, working class, the list goes on.

Unless it becomes abusive, (which I can't imagine it ever would be), then get over it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 8:53, 12 replies)

Social experiment
I bleached then dyed my hair flash gordon red for a family holiday when I was a kid. The pool chlorine made it turn a nasty orange colour but albeit not ginger.

The interesting thing was that people seemed to treat me differently, but on reflection that may well have been because I looked like a tit.
(British Steel was participating in awesomeness on, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 8:53, 1 reply)

A Narrow Genetic Escape...
My old dad looks a little like Patrick Moore's younger, slimmer brother. He's a short white haired blunt talking Lancastrian. There's a significant resemblance between us these days, as I'm touching the tail of 40.

He keeps himself looking reasonably smart these days, but in the 80's he had light brown frizzy hair, and proudly sported a pair of blee Ginger pork-chop sideburns.

I am so thankful that I didn't get those genes.
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 8:33, 1 reply)

Protest Anecdote
I've started a new illustration this week which involves a tiger, which leads me tenuously to the real story- that my brother was nearly responsible for a tiger escape. In Suffolk, England.

He did a year's work at "Africa Alive" wildlife park. The way that they feed the big cats (from their large enclosure) is: there are two gates with two electrified fences. The interior gate is just the right size for the back of a truck to reverse in to. They load the truck up with meat and use it to block the exit.

My brother was so busy chatting to the other guy in the truck that they forgot to put the handbrake on. The tigers leapt onto the truck, sending it shooting at least three meters forward. Luckily the tigers were too interested in the food at that point to notice that there was now a big gap in the fence. The truck had to be carefully driven backwards with three big cats clinging to the top of it...

Also, OT: Does anyone have any tips for drawing smoke and decay in colouring pencil? Ta. :-)
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 7:47, 2 replies)

It could strike at any time...


Be safe, use contraception.
(British Steel was participating in awesomeness on, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 6:59, 3 replies)

Gah!


Gah!
(British Steel was participating in awesomeness on, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 6:55, Reply)

Sufferers
Despite what most people say I don't think we'll ever find a cure.
(British Steel was participating in awesomeness on, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 6:52, Reply)

Ginger
Apparently it's caused by a defective gene or some such.

Also I've heard that most ginger people can't roll their tongues :o

Is this true?
(British Steel was participating in awesomeness on, Fri 26 Feb 2010, 6:52, 9 replies)