Street signs!
Recontextualising such a common fixture as a street sign has a huge effect. It is simultaneously inconspicuous and memorable.



I wish I could take credit for this one, but the best I did was stick a red reflector sticker on a deer crossing deer's nose.
(Random Ferret, Thu 3 May 2007, 18:05, Reply)

Apartheid
Cape Town, 1987. My mother and I had just landed at DF Malan airport and had been collected by Dad and were en route to the Rondebosch district of the town travelling along one of the longest and straightest roads I've ever seen.

Either side of the road was flanked by 9 foot high concrete walls, which couldn't be seen over. Behind the walls lay a massive shanty town, which was home to millions of black South Africans, at this point denied the right to vote and subjected to massive unemployment and social problems. Sentiments were understandably frayed. The following slogan was daubed on the wall in three foot high letters:

"FREE NELSON MANDELA!"

Someone had probably risked their life to make such a public statement as it was no trivial act of vandalism. Had the SA Police caught him or her then a life ending beating would have probably ensued.

Clearly, a very brave soul indeed.

However, someone else had come along and arguably exposed themselves to even more danger than the first graffiti artist. They had rolled up to the side of the road and in an act of extreme but foolhardy bravery had added:

"WITH EVERY 20 LITRES"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 3 May 2007, 17:46, Reply)

politest put down ever.
In the toilet of the Bodleian library in Oxford, there used to be a piece of graffiti that said "Arabs fuck off home", to which someone had replied:

"Dear boy, I think you'll find cubicle 2 is the venue for xenophia and racist bile. This cubicle is reserved for literary jokes and whimsical wordplay. Hope that helps."

Probably funnier when viewed through the lens of a 10 minute shit break three weeks into 12-hour a day finals revision, but what the hell.
(BiffTannen, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:53, Reply)

Just realised
i still had this on my phone!


(ALFIN Hasn't urinated since, Fri 4 May 2007, 15:51, Reply)

Body graffiti
I wounded my knee, and my own girlfriend(!) graffiti'd this delightful picture around it...

( ivystopia Last seen on, Mon 7 May 2007, 21:34, Reply)

Absolute genius...
I lived in Hyde Park - Leeds - through my degree, and the best graffitti that i have ever seen was on the wall next to Jacksons.

There was a cartoon of a woman in a crown with her thumbs up... with the words ''Big up the Queen Mam, being dead is mint'' written under it.


It still makes me laugh now.

:D

Edit: Found a picture of it!


(cake It's about bloody time too, Fri 4 May 2007, 12:10, Reply)

MC Hammer, I blame you.
I've seen this around in a few places, yet it still makes me giggle like a schoolgirl on crack.


(is0lati0n, Fri 4 May 2007, 6:14, Reply)

My first post!...
                                                                                         o
                                                                                         o
                                                                                        o
                                                                                       o
Don't beam me up yet Scotty I'm doing a po o o o
.
( skullface, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:50, Reply)

In a toilet in Staines..
1st time I'd ever been compelled to whip out my camera in a public toilet!


( Pixieelf got his 1st front pg. when MJ died! Double Whammy!, Fri 4 May 2007, 10:30, Reply)

Bacon.


Brilliant.
(fishyfishyfishyoooh Tonight I will be Miss Saigon, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:27, Reply)

I am 9" Long and 2" Thick

(To which is replied)

Are You A Ferret?
( SolidGoldChimp, Thu 3 May 2007, 21:02, Reply)

Old one


An old e but a good e
( two_hats_shakir is going break dancing after his tea, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:58, Reply)

Malcom X Is A...
Although I don't condone the acts depicted within this story, I can't help but admit that this is the single greatest work of vandalism I have ever witnessed.

In Bury, my home town, there is a building in a district called Elton, which used to be run by a company called Vanguard. Several years ago, the company went bust and the building was left derelict. It was a fucking huge warehouse type building, halfway up a large hill and in plain view of anyone travelling through Elton.

So, in some sort of pique of righteousness, someone sprays "MALCOLM X IS A GOD" on the wall of the building, in letters about 10 feet high.

This stood proud for several weeks, until someone came along and, in a different colour, sprayed over the word "GOD" and replaced it with "COON".

It now read "MALCOLM X IS A GOD COON"

This stood there for several weeks again, until the original scribe crosses out "COON" and replaced it with "GOD" again.

It now read "MALCOLM X IS A GOD COON GOD".

Again, several weeks went by, and sure enough, a retort was made.

it now read "MALCOLM X IS A GOD COON GOD COON".

This repeated itself over the course of about 3 months, until finally the second scribe came up with the retort to end all retorts, and this ladies and gentlemen is the greatest piece of graffiti work ever:

"MALCOLM X IS A GOD COON GOD COON GOD COON GOD COON GOD DAMNED COON"...
( PMGT -Bacon., Fri 4 May 2007, 1:36, Reply)

Bergen, Norway (November 2006)

(quimdaloo, Mon 7 May 2007, 16:11, Reply)

Cathedral
I have noticed a rather shocking amount of graffiti in the toilets of my local cathedral, all the usual religious nut shit, but some of the responses made me giggle.

"GOD HATES FAGS" replied to with "Then why is it called a 'glory' hole?"

Quite a few on abortion including:
"ABORTION KILLS INNOCENT CHILDDREN" then scrawled underneath "Can we abort the guilty ones?"

A foetus dripping blood with the words "STILL FANCY TAKING THE EASY OPTION?" followed by "But it looks so cute!"

"HELP GOD OUT- SPIT ON A NIGGER" then "David is 32 years old, lives with his parents, and twice daily masturbates furiously over porn, while shouting about job theiving 'darkies.' For £5 we can buy a knife and put him out of his misery. Sponsor a racist today."

There were quite a few others but none spring to mind.
If you press "I Like This" I'll draw a massive cock on the picture of Jesus.
( Paedosmile service with a grin., Sat 5 May 2007, 12:14, Reply)

Ow, my neck!
So there I was, in a toilet cubicle at Uni. And, as you do, I began idly looking around. I happened to look right - and spotted, neatly etched on the grouting between the very shiny tiles, this phrase: "In case of emergency, look left."

Well, you would, wouldn't you. And if you did, you'd find, exactly opposite, the immortal words, "I said, in case of emergency, dickhead!"

I pissed meself. Luckily, I was in the toilet, so that was all right then.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Fri 4 May 2007, 0:14, Reply)

Glasgow University Library toilets..
Next to the toilet roll dispenser someone has written:

"Social science degrees - please take one"
( Fudgebags will wear you like a glove, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:46, Reply)

Gloucester....

(obesevegan wont pay for b3ta credit crunch etc excuse, Wed 9 May 2007, 9:41, Reply)

In a pub toilets in Islington
Someone had written the classic

IRELAND FOR THE IRISH

To which, in a different hand, some wag had written beneath:

PECKHAM FOR THE PECKISH
(qwghlm, Fri 4 May 2007, 13:58, Reply)

On a poster in a maternity ward featuring a picture
of a newborn child was the advice "The first 2 minutes of life can be the most dangerous".

Some wag had added "the last 2 can be pretty dodgy too"
(Redbull_(UK) pfffft, Fri 4 May 2007, 14:38, Reply)

Someone e-mailed me this ages ago
A personal favorite and a touch of genius...


(Stanlington Jobsworthy Smythe Last skived off work on, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:21, Reply)

Bangor University, IT block, 3rd floor, blokes loos
On an open day, popped in for a Barry White, and it said on the back of the door "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Cru 4eva"

The irony that they shortened "Crew forever" to save space was not lost on me.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Thu 3 May 2007, 17:38, Reply)

Found this stuck to a wall
on the stairs from Tower Bridge to the riverside the day that it happened:


*slightly tweaked for clarity
( NomDePlume fo shizzle my nizzle old bean, Thu 3 May 2007, 19:13, Reply)

David Shrigley
not quite graffiti but the same idea of urban intervention is the artist David Shrigley's stuff, ie.

( octopus footwear raaa, Sun 6 May 2007, 23:17, Reply)

Mum's are nice
Written on toilet wall 'My mother made me a homosexual!'

Added underneath: 'If I gave her the wool, would she make me one too?'
(fatharry, Fri 4 May 2007, 10:54, Reply)

Ha ha
Saw this scribbled in a turlet last week, and it just tickled me the right way;
"i hate 2 things in life, irony and graffiti."
(Young_Chauncey, Thu 3 May 2007, 21:13, Reply)

OH NOES!!
whilst drunk, at the weekend, after hours in the pub I work, i ventured into the freshly painted gents loo's!!

i scribbled, in tiny letters, on a pristine surface, and Im not proud of this by the way,

'yay, first post'


B3TA is a BAD INFLUENCE!!!!
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Tue 8 May 2007, 11:46, Reply)

Saw this little beauty in a toilet at university
I study Psychology at Goldsmiths in South East London (well for just one more month of my final year now, thank god!) which is predominantly an Art centred uni, so obviously is full of pretentious preening arseholes that you associate with Art and Drama degrees.

Smiths is the uni's Student magazine, which as you would imagine in this sort of environment is always full of guff revolving around "ironic" crap written by these conceited bellends who think they're the wittiest people alive.

Anyway that's enough backstory, the piece of graffiti I'm sharing with you goes as follows...

"That guy froms Smiths with a fancy hat is a cunt, I hope he gets raped."

Someone (most probably the fancy-hatted protagonist himself) had crossed out "raped" and replaced it with...

"given an award."

Luckily karma exists, and some other amusing vandal has added...

"for being raped the most."



Thats my B3ta cherry popped.
(kinky jon, Sun 6 May 2007, 19:23, Reply)

Travel Inn Hotel Room
Walked into my room, where I found the bible open on the desk where someone had signed on the first page:-

"All the best, Jesus"!!



Pure Genius!
(nick_wheelho, Fri 4 May 2007, 15:51, Reply)

At Newcastle Uni:
"Call me on xxx-xxxx for a good time. I'm eight inches long and two inches thick"

"... are you a ferret?"
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 4 May 2007, 8:58, Reply)