In my friend's house, after she stripped the wallpaper off the walls,
she discovered this little gem hidden underneath:

"Hello! I hope you will enjoy decorating this bathroom as much as I did. When you have finished make sure to have a nice, relaxing soak. March 1999"
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:54, Reply)

Poor old Kelly
One of my favourites was on a bus shelter, "Kelly will suck your cock in return for a good ham sandwich". Not just any ham sandwich, you understand - it has to be a good one. Probably with mustard and fancy bread.

Wasn't sure whether it was an allegation or an advert.
(superscape blames it on the bogie, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:54, Reply)

On pub condom machine:
Buy me and stop one!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 May 2007, 16:52, Reply)

At my current office
they have been remodeling the building. As a result, what was once a normal bathroom stall is now handicap accessible- meaning that they had to make it a lot bigger.

So now there's an electrical/IT department room that has its door inside a bathroom stall.

There is now a sign on the door with the Batman logo that reads "The Bat Cave (flush twice to enter)".

Fucking engineers...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 4 May 2007, 16:49, Reply)

School desks
Ah secondary school desk graffiti, I remember two:

Ben Pemberton shagged Marianne without a condom

& my favourite

Dr Khan knows his beef
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:47, Reply)

Thisis a good one.
Apparently some farmer got fed up with the RAF doing low level training over his farm.

Backfired slightly, when all the pilots in the area started diverting to have a look at it..

www.targeta.co.uk/images/piss_off_biggles.jpeg
(inflateable, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:45, Reply)

On one of the study carrels in the biology library at my university some one has written:

"Biologists are Homos"

This has then been changed by someone to:

"Biologists are Homo Sapiens"
( Bobby Bob Bob also available on http://jbobw.deviantart.com/, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:38, Reply)

best ever
on two large dumpster bins, clearly seen as driving into Glasgow from the motorway

"Deed Bodies"

and

"Dugg Meat"
(Mildred is a slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:37, Reply)

In my school days
I saw a bit of desk graffiti saying "Jenny 4 Lee 4eva"

I spent the next three days being jealous of this Lee character and his 16 year old threes up.
( Kroney, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:35, Reply)

Drugs
In Southend high street around fifteen years ago, there was one of the governments anti drug posters taking up the wall beneath the train line with the slogan

"THE EFFECTS OF DRUGS CAN LAST FOREVER".

The additional line added by a local ruffian read,

"IF YA LUCKY"

Made me laugh anyway.
(Peacocke, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:33, Reply)

On a condom machine
"Don't do it! What would the pope say?"
( Zuowan, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:32, Reply)

Entirely accurate
Owing to our office's previous incarnation as a women-only health spa, there is a defaced sign downstairs that reads "Pool, Sauna, and Server Room".

This sign is in fact entirely accurate.
( TechImp is trying to be nice (with great difficulty)., Fri 4 May 2007, 16:31, Reply)

Free Deidre Rachid !!!
That was everywhere for a while!
(Untitled1, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:30, Reply)

Dave Yeeles is a big jobby!
In the RAF and there's a dude working on my base who (as the story goes) got called a big jobby one day. Now one of the first things you learn when you join up is that if people find out you don't like being called something then that something becomes your permenant name from then on. He didn't like it and now whatever RAF (or military base in general) you go to you can probably find "Dave Yeeles is a big jobby" written somewhere.
Any military types reading this, oh hell, anyone at all, please just carry on our tradition and write this whereever you see a blank surface.
Btw, for anyone that is curious, the guy is in fact a huge jobby.
(MauveGnome is watching you whilst you sleep, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:25, Reply)

On a billboard in Worcester in the early nineties
the Leah Betts "Sorted" poster - "Leah Betts died after taking one ecstasy pill, etc..."

Underneath in foot-high letters "Lightweight".
( Zuowan, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:24, Reply)

Longevity can be a problem.
In my lovely little village, down a little back alley, there is a little dog. And the little dog will bark at you as you walk up the little alley on your way home, and that will be that. So, obviously, some oik with a spray can wrote "Shut Up Dog!" on the wall. Only now there isn't a little dog anymore. Or a big dog. Or any dog. It's really sad.

Incidentally it also says "Criszena is a slag." That's been there since I was in primary school. "Criszena," must be well on thirty by now.
(FurtiveBiscuit, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:22, Reply)

Trainstations
Trainstation in North county dublin

"Anto's a wanker, but his ma's alright"

"I am plumber, my brothers in prison and I am proud"
(crapmonkey, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:22, Reply)

Squeeze...
There is one where I work, in the Workshop toilets.

if you were sat on the bog as such, there is the simple quote "Keep on Squeezin'", wrote on the door of the cubicle.

Made me laugh anyway...
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:22, Reply)

Continent
On driving back to Germany with my (German) girlfriend, who was moving back there from Ireland, we were met with a large sign :

HARWICH FOR THE CONTINENT

to which some wag had added

"Frinton for the incontinent"

I laughed so hard I had to stop the car, and then explain to a puzzled Fraulein that Frinton was well-known for its high OAP content.
( Stevedix http://www.stevedix.de/blog, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:20, Reply)

The story behind........TWIGS
At junction 27 of the M1 southbound, there, in large pink letters is the word "TWIGS". My best friend Paul* was hung upside down by his ankles in order to spray this immortal word on the aforementioned bridge.

What's so makes that the best graffiti ever you may ask ?

It's not so much the graffiti, it's the story behind it .....

Back in the 1980's, a group of my goth/rock pals decided to form a band, named aptly "The Secluded Twigs", Paul* being the frontman/ vocalist.

They never picked up an instrument, never made a demo and never played a gig, yet they were once the most infamous band in Nottingham with a huge underground following.

Nigel's* ("guitarist") philosophy was as did Tony James with Sigue Sigue Sputnik whip up a media frenzy over nothing, so they would do with the Twigs. Bogus European Tour posters being pasted all over Nottingham, escalating rumours of private gigs, "those in the know" ranting on about how they'd managed to get exclusive tickets and back stage passes to their gigs in Estonia, Hungary etc etc. People were desperate to get hold of bootleg tapes they'd heard "just the once somewhere" and before long, "those not in the know" were boasting about private invite gigs they'd been to and "how ace the Twigs were and how they hoped they'd never make it big time, coz they needed to stay underground in Europe and stay cool and credible"

Oh the joy !

The culmination of the Twigs' career was a private gig that was held in Sherwood Forest in 1989. Letters suddenly started pouring into Nottingham Evening Post from outraged people all over Nottingham, the majority of outpourings coming from pensioners who were naturally appalled and the most offened being an elderly gentleman by name of "Mr Daniel Ash", whose letter was the first to be printed. Infact all the letters got printed. The best to come was when "the twiglets" (fanclub) started to blab on about how they'd been there. at that gig. that was never played. and the Twigs had been awesome.

Oh were you ? I must have not seen you ?

The band "split up" not long after that and naturally half of Nottingham's underground rock scene were devastated. That was the end. Unless they decide to "reform" of course.

So, if you're ever lucky enough to see TWIGS graffiti, remember they were once the next big thing to come out of Nottingham.
Well they would have been had they ever existed.

*names not changed to expose the guilty.
( rabbitz, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:18, Reply)

Putting the "C" into "unt"
The simple addition of one horizontal line to the sign pointing to the village of "Lunt" has a) had me in stitches for about the last ten years and b) must have cost Sefton council a fortune in roadsign replacements.

Minimalist graffiti, always a winner.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:15, Reply)

pub toilets
I used to work in a pub back in Liverpool, nice place, decent punters. So we were a bit surprised / horrified to find that one of them had written the name of everyones favourite nazi hooligan scum "Combat 18" on the pub toilet wall.

The manager tries to get it off with bleach and a scrubbing brush, but after about an hour it's not come off, though it has changed a fetching shade of pink. Then inspiration hits him; a quick go with a pink highlighter and it now reads "Wombat 18".

it stayed up till they repainted, over five years later.
(eightAce, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:11, Reply)

Could be seen from a great distance and wasn't cleaned up for years
During the late 80's the largest multi story car park in town had "SLAGBONCE" written across the outside width of a entire level. Letters as large a car.
(Spokes, Fri 4 May 2007, 16:06, Reply)

Dutch humour?
Classic one in Dutch toilets:

Original text would be: "John was here"

The 'adjusted' text (adjusted by someone else of course) would be: "John wast heren"
(which means: "John washes men")


...
(Bassie999, Fri 4 May 2007, 15:59, Reply)

venice = Anti Emo
On the walls in Venice, in a stencil styley

Converse = Nike
Fuck The Cool

Yes...quite.
(Rockster77, Fri 4 May 2007, 15:54, Reply)

Made me giggle
I drive past an old boarded up pub every day, and someone had sprayed the words "arsey poo wank" in huge letters on the wall, not quite shakespear, but made me giggle like a schoolgirl.
its gone now.........i'm gutted.
Oh and the talented youth of kelloggsville also believe "dwayne is a wancer" hmmmmmmmm
(kellogg going slowly insane, Fri 4 May 2007, 15:54, Reply)

In a toilet at university in Amsterdam
" I sit here waiting and thinking of art.

The question is: should I shit or just fart? "
(Bassie999, Fri 4 May 2007, 15:53, Reply)

Just realised
i still had this on my phone!


(ALFIN Hasn't urinated since, Fri 4 May 2007, 15:51, Reply)

Travel Inn Hotel Room
Walked into my room, where I found the bible open on the desk where someone had signed on the first page:-

"All the best, Jesus"!!



Pure Genius!
(nick_wheelho, Fri 4 May 2007, 15:51, Reply)