Shameful... but profitable.
I worked for a small company owned by a greedy bastard Asian bloke. He tried to pay me $30K (back in the early 90s), against a forecast profit of a couple of million for my blood sweat and tears.

His brother, the other director told him not to be a twunt and pay me $50K - an OK base pay back then for a sales director. My marriage was going sour and well, horny young fella that I was, rather liked the look of the greedy twunt's wife so kept checking her out and getting caught by her while doing it.

Long story short, I got called out to the factory by her one night as she was running our mechanised production solo that night. There was some half-arsed fault that could have been cleared in about thirty seconds if she could be bothered. However, she had ulterior motives.

I was bent over the machine's control cabinet fixing the fault and the next thing I know there are some lusciously long Asian fingers giving me a back-rub. I stood up, smiled awkwardly and was kissed by the softest and most luscious lips I had the fortune to sample for many a year before or after, popped a spectacular boner which she fondled in a most intriguing manner, followed by the soft words "Wanna go upstairs to the office?".

We went up to my mezzanine office where we snogged on and groped and explored one another's body, followed by the filthiest and most crotch-dampening non-orgasmic 69er my disenchanted emotions and under-exercised libido could have possibly imagined. Looking down and seeing my knob, balls deep in the boss' wife's mouth was utterly divine retribution for him being a cheap cunt.

Needless to say, our forbidden love carried on for a while. We went to hotels and fucked like wild animals. We fucked in my car, on my desk, on the accountant's desk, on the stairs, in the store room, in my house, in her house. That tight little body and those Bai Ling style nipples had me blowing loads like a BP oil well (albeit white). She was a greedy little cum-addict.

Next time I asked for a pay rise, I copped another $50K thanks to her recommendation that I was a 'hard' worker. Our illicit affair didn't continue for much longer actively, but we had some truly memorable spontaneous fucks all over the building and elsewhere for a good many years thereafter.

Me? Greedy? Hell yes! Emotional, sexual and financial gratification all from one under-serviced Chinese hottie? I seriously don't think work life gets any better.

Well, it certainly hasn't lately.
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:05, 50 replies)

I absolutely believe every single word of this
and I will personally fight anybody who even dares to suggest that it sounds like adolescent Reader's Wives drivel wanked onto a keyboard by a sweaty virgin.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:10, closed)

Your belief is not my care.
Been there, spunked on that.

Am 41 years old, on my second wife and first son.


** Edited because earlier punctuation caused it read really, really obscenely...
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:18, closed)

You really
might want to consider how you phrased that.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:20, closed)

i believed the reply more than the story :-)

(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:22, closed)

Hmmm....
Now that I read it back, after your comment... well... eeeeeeek!
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:22, closed)

I'm eighty six and sitting on a unicycle.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:54, closed)

Seat on or off?
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 9:05, closed)

Who knows.
I'm 86; I've slid all the way down to the tyre.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:15, closed)

All your stories seem to have a common theme.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:11, closed)

Only one previous post...
... and it was about the shitty first wife... who I was ignoring while doing the above. :)
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:19, closed)

And that
b3ta.com/questions/fetishes/
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:22, closed)

Oh goodness!
Forgot that post.

That's wife #2 and mother of my son.

What can I say? I have a preference for a certain kind of lass - and non-Anglo, non-Euro is certainly core to it.

Am well happily married, monogamous and loving it.
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:48, closed)

Credibility and coherence?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:53, closed)

He appears to be Jay from The Inbetweeners, only slightly racist.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 18:50, closed)

Errmmm
If you where claiming a salary of 30K, and you where a sales director, then why the hell would you have anything to do with the machinery or factory process or even be able to fix a fault? I mean, I know it's just a lead-up to a highly dubious tale about fucking and that - but you could have made it a little more beleivable by saying she wanted to go through a new product line with you, or check sales figures or something....

And yes, I'm well aware that this is probably the smallest hole in the fabric of this particuarly poor peice of fantasy
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:23, closed)

Ugh...explanations.
Long story.

Hired by 'nice' brother as a sales rep at his PC company. I arrived unproven having come from a retail computing firm. He gave me a job and a chance. I proved his guess that I was a good rep and capable of more. He gave me a bigger chance and we developed another brand which was sold to the cunty brother. I was given the option of staying with 'nice' or going with cunty, to increase from $25K plus commission to $28K plus plus plus. I took the extra.

Sales Director? In name only until later years. It was front because of the nature of the business.

Being a Chinese controlled business, economy (i.e. excruciating cheapness) was the order of the day.

The machinery we purchased was more than 'cunty' could deal with. I already had a tech background. We sodded off to [a place in EU] in '95 to buy it. The man was a complete danger around anything electrical. Three phase stepper motor? Why not plug it back in while it's live? (Berger Lahr, if you must know.)

Believe or not, it's 100% fact.


The part that was omitted, is the bad bit.


She was interested to leave him. I wasn't interested in a long term relationship as I felt my marriage could be salvaged (stupid, stupid young man I was!). She reported to me that she was pregnant and I explained "not impressed" or similar. About a fortnight or so later, she didn't come to the building for a while. Cunty pointed out to me that she had miscarried and would be away for a while more. Ouch.

When she returned, a couple of months later, there was animosity in the air. We talked about things and calmed the situation down. However, as anyone who has been involved with someone, there is a pretty darned good chance that if the opportunity presents itself and there is still something to it that, well, something will happen. We took the time to let things happen for a good many years afterwards until Cunty's gambling eventually levelled the firm.



Speaking of poor, "this particuarly poor peice of fantasy", please consider learning to spell and punctuate a little better.


Cheers!!
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:34, closed)

I take no view on the truth or otherwise of the story
I accept that it is perfectly likely that some people who post on QOTW will also have led interesting and varied sex lives. Many won't have done. But some will.

I would say though, that if you need to go to this length to explain yourself (and for me actually, it really is a case of tl;dr) you probably got something quite wrong up front.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 17:06, closed)

tl;dr
Ref point re: trolls lower down...
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 17:18, closed)

Okay, fair enough
Sounds slightly more plausable with the added detail, but frankly if you're going to post about your sex life on QOTW then you should probably make sure that it's funny or well written. This just wasn't. Frankly it read like a pretty crap wank-fantasy. Where you expecting people to be impressed that you screwed your bosses wife? If the story is bullshit, then it's kinda pathetic, and if it's true then frankly it has very little to do with greed so.... just comes across as you boasting about the amount of sex you've had.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 18:47, closed)

Oh, for heaven's sake.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 21:21, closed)

I am loathe to agree with a dick in a hat
but I very much agree with the dick in the hat.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 22:47, closed)

He just sets off my gaydar...
[ping!]
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 14:21, closed)

Hooray! This is fucking brilliant.
By the way, commiserations on having to work for an Asian.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:25, closed)

They're OK.
The little red envelopes of tax free goodness to celebrate some life events are quite entertaining.

It was a good schooling in what to expect in dealings with Chinese-derived racial groups as I now import tech goods from China for a self-employed living. Not for the faint-hearted or the dopes who think they can get a good deal on Alibaba and the like.
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:53, closed)

Implausible and boring
well done, most qotwers only manage one of these at a time.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:26, closed)

Oh dear
You really shouldn't post stories that involve having sex, it angers the trolls.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:45, closed)

So, I now see!
Lesson learned too late. That will teach me, won't it? :)
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:49, closed)

I'm afraid so
If you went back and edited "Chinese hottie" to "enormously fat munter" they might understand what you mean, but as it is you might as well try and describe what "purple" is to a blind man
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 16:57, closed)

Enormous munter...
Reminds me of an issue of Viz with a comment that went something like "haystack with cunts"... [shudder].
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 17:20, closed)

I once described purple to a blind man
he cried then asked for smoke on the water.
(Bushcricket, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 17:32, closed)

Haha!

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 7:49, closed)

Where do you want me to hang these blinds?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 17:33, closed)

"spectacular boner"
Heehee!
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 17:04, closed)

My girlfriend's a supermodel too.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 18:17, closed)

This looks legit.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 19:37, closed)

A twist in the tale...
Something interesting to point out here. The ending of your story was a twist - when you mentioned "Chinese" - because at the beginning you described your boss as "Asian".

Therefore - even if you hadn't mentioned a salary in dollars, this description gave you away as American anyway :)

You may or may not know - when we British describe someone as "Asian" then we refer to people who originate from South Asia: India, Pakistan, Bangladesh. Therefore as a British reader, reading your story, I imagined your boss' wife to be an Indian hottie!

On the other hand, you Americans use "Asian" to refer to people from the Far East - which we British call "Orientals".

Both are from the continent of Asia - but are very different races.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 9:57, closed)

Just one more thing............
...... do you think he might be Australian instead?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 10:26, closed)

He appears to be a misogynistic illiterate with a chip on his shoulder, it's entirely possible.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 10:37, closed)

Dreadful racism!
Ban AB!
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:31, closed)

Racist Chip?
No, not racist. I exercise sexual preference. Much in the same way you suck cocks at Piccadilly. It's just your preference. And don't forget to wipe your chin before your mam sees you - she's ever so curious why it's so crusty each Friday evening late.

Chip on the shoulder? Well... about some things, but mostly about awkward folk who usually speak out of their rather well felched posterior. Somewhat like you, actually.


Third stall on the left, Friday, again? Peetie sends his regards and reminds you to use gloves to remove the lamp from the luminaire this time as the smell of burnt hands on his knob rather puts him off his game a little and he knows how much you do love 'moisturiser'.

Ciao, baby.
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 14:48, closed)

So you're homophobic as well as racist and misogynist? A full house!
Way to undermine those unreconstructed antipodean male stereotypes.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 15:17, closed)

This reasoned thought-out response is all the evidence I need to disprove my theory.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 14:26, closed)

wow, a nonracist Aussie?

(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 10:35, closed)

Thank you.
Yes, dear oneinthepink, I am of that dreadful group once described by William Rushton in "Pigsticking: A Joy For Life" as 'The Lost Tribe' - an Australian.

And bloody proud of it.
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 14:55, closed)

You might be proud. The other twenty million australians are deeply fucking embarrassed.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 15:18, closed)

Hello yes you are talking absolute bollocks unless you happen to be a massive racist yourself.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 14:34, closed)

Dolt.
$ = AUD, (USD being the new South Pacific Peso);

Asian = India, etc in UK but not in the rest of the world;

Chinese = Former resident of China, or derived therefrom, somehow, but usually by rumpy pumpy (as opposed to anal sex which begets lawyers);

"Orientals" = A term usually used prior to the collapse of the League of Nations, save for retards in Cornwall and the odd Yorkshireman (wait, aren't they all odd?)... Or are you really older than Croesus' nutsack AND Methuselah's jizz rag?


American??? Wash your mouth out with Marmite and Old Speckled Hen! Twice. Simultaneously! I'm Australian or even Antipodean if you so desire to sound like Lewis Carroll (but hopefully you do not practice his reputed desire for kiddy fanny), but not a 'merkin.


Indian hottie? Wait until there is a question about shaking a chubby Sikh in a carpark. Awesome knee-trembler, that. Magnificent lady. 1980-something? Her nickname was "Hoover" and went to a rather respected girls' school in Blighty as her folks were a touch well off. I think her brother went to Eton... or some other place where young men's intestines are perforated.


Bloody hell... I thought reporting a root with a payrise would slip through b3ta like corn through a goose, but fuck me, it has garnered waaaaay too much attention. Holy [something] of [something]!

'Nite all!
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 14:41, closed)

www.b3ta.com/questions/greed/post1173734
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 15:15, closed)

Well....
Your answer was basicaly an excuse for you to jump up and down going "look at me! Look at me! I've had sex I have!". No relevence to the question and not particularly well written. Wether it's true or not doesn't even matter, it's kinda lame, and it's replies like this that get on peoples nerves. I like QOTW, I really do. I love reading about people's stories and tales, be they funny, moving or both. Thing is though, we have a reputation here on QOTW for posting lots of sex lies, and its stories like this one here which give us this reputation, so yeah - its going to garner lots of attention, from the talk crowd who figure we're all sweaty handed wank fantasists and QOTW people who are a bit fucking bored of this junk. If you really feel the need to exercise your "erotic writing skills" I'm fairly certain there are better websites out there more suited to your needs.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 15:16, closed)

I apologise if I have offended you by thinking that you were a Yank :)
Sorry! I did not realise that Australians also referred to Oriental people as "Asians" :) Thought it was just the Americans.

But that's no need for insults.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 22:10, closed)