I have a feeling...
That this QOTW might mention a few B3tards' secret love of some TV shows / movies etc. that are 'so bad they're brilliant'.

Ladies and gentlemen...I present...

Prisoner: Cell Block 'H'

I used to watch it.

Religiously.

For the love of flowery wank it was a steaming pile of tortoise poo...but I loved it so.

What the hell is wrong with me?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:36, 14 replies)

There is nothing better....
than army crawling around your front room when somebody knocks on the front door and you can't be arsed to answer it. Or hiding in the curtains, trying to sneak a peek without getting caught.



I also like to piss the bed for warmth.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:35, Reply)

Two main ones
Linkin park

They are shit, I know they are shit, but I still find myself blasting out their crappy faux-angst ridden noise with a great big shit eating grin on my face.

Bad Movies

Really trashy horror, lack of plot, lots of gore and wooden acting are a must.
There is a point where a movie is so bad it become a work of genius
Dead and Rotting comes to mind straight away

But there are films so bad that there is just no saving them 28 weeks later is beyond help for example.
(Barry Chuckle has gone out in the thong to feed the pigeons, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:31, 13 replies)

Pants tiem!

I reserve a little time every day to just sitting in my pants. It's enormously relaxing, and I usually do it during Richard & Judy, -even though I hate that smug twat.

I also used to work very close to home, so would pop home to watch Loose Women. DOUBLE PANTS TIEM! (What's really scary about this is that I actually developed a crush on the jowly one ...Carol?)

Try it, it's nice.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:28, 7 replies)

Apparently this is a bad one in England...
...I like to watch "Lovejoy".

In my defense, it used to come on right after "Sherlock Holmes Mysteries" on Monday nights. So no, I don't have a thing for Ian McShane- although I do think he's a damned good actor in "Deadwood".
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:25, 3 replies)

Picture the scene of a family dinner…

A nice Sunday roast…everybody is polite – no elbows on tables, no speaking with mouths full and a veritable plethora of ‘please’ and ‘thank you’s…

The present Mrs Pooflake smiles sweetly at me as I compliment her on the meal, and both Mini-Pooflakes are resplendent in their displays of impeccable table manners.

The meal is finished, more thanks are thrown about…I offer to take the plates to the dishwasher and suggests to my sweetheart that she takes a well deserved rest as I pour her a glass of wine and begin clearing up…

I get to the kitchen with the plates etc…have a swift look around…

Then SCHLUUUURRRRPPP! – I gorge myself on the surplus gravy / remnants from every plate, licking them clean with a frenzy like I was a rampant Labrador round another dog’s ringpiece.

Everything is then popped into the dishwasher…

The perfect crime
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:18, 10 replies)

I like to
look in the mirror or relective window at the gym
and watch myself working out.

Narcissistic? Moi?
( Trollman, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:17, Reply)

I watch awful awful sky channels
and cry my eyes out.

Notably the episode of It's a Miracle recently with a dog who worked with kids in a cancer hospital, and the dog also got cancer, but the dog survived! And all the kids were motivated to beat cancer too.
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:16, 1 reply)

reading the last page of a book
before you start reading the book properly.
i've always done it, and it has never ruined my enjoyment of a story, as i've always forgotten what i've read about 10 minutes later.

drives my parents and boyfriend batty if they see me do it though.
( ascorbate, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:16, 4 replies)

Hours of Fun
I give a colleague of mine a lift home every night, and he likes to wait and have a cigarette while I go get the car. However, when I pull up and he walks to the door, I reverse a few yards back. When he gets to the door again, I drive forward a few yards.

Every day.

My record is 14 times back & forth before he secured the door handle. I'm going for 15 tonight.
(FerretTrout be illin', Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:16, 4 replies)

at random
- Hair metal: my iPod's stashed with Van Halen and Def Leppard
- The Sun online - always some titty slideshows
- Kim Kardashian: thick as shite but a whole lotta woman
- Pot Noodle. Love 'em.
- Picking my nose. Nothing beats a big glutinous bogie that you can roll around for ages until it becomes hard enough to flick. Semi-crisp ones are good too.
- A KY handjob from the missus if she's feeling generous
- Eating an entire packet of biscuits with a cup of tea.
- Forget beer. Gimme a Remy Martin XO cognac
- A weekly manicure from my wife. She also plucks stray back hairs with tweezers once a week and I love it.
- Taking a day off each month 'sick' and spending it whacking away to YouPorn and listening to Radio 4
- Getting fat and bald and not giving a fuck. I'm married now
- Never sending birthday or Christmas cards to anyone, not even my family.
(frankspencer, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:14, 5 replies)

Watching Button moon and still thinking it's awesome
It's great having kids - you can watch all the old programs without people thinking you're weird...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:12, 1 reply)

Monday to Friday
I always make sure that I take my daily shit at work.

This way, not only do I save money on loo paper at home, but I'm being paid to shit.

Makes me giggle to myself whilst I'm sitting there.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:09, 8 replies)

Well...
I post answers to this thing called "Question of the Week" on a website called "B3ta".

There's nothing better than hitting that "post this message" button and watching your little snippet of text float to the top of the list like a turd that contains more than the requisite amount of trapped air, safe in the knowledge that no one else will ever find out that you pos- oh wait.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Pissing in the shower

(androoh, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:04, 6 replies)

When I do my weekly shop at Easter time
I buy two creme eggs.

I put one at the front of the conveyor belt and one at the end.

I can then eat the first one in its entirerity at a leisurely pace while packing up my shopping.

I can then eat the second one on the way home.

Doesn't get much better than that.
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:04, 1 reply)

Perhaps the most guilty pleasure of all...
When the Jack Russell terrorist insists on curling up behind my knees in the night, I secretly delight on farting on her hard enough to make her emerge from the covers to go sleep somewhere else.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:02, 1 reply)

New Wave Of British Heavy Metal
...it's shit, and I love it. Angelwitch! Jaguar! Sweet Savage! Diamond Head! and more - all playing at the Dog & Spanner in Kettering, this Tuesday night! Only £2 in! May as well be....

I once did a six CD compilation of NWOBHM, and did copies for some mates (and indeed Ashley at Earache Records). It went down splendidly, apparently it was on the Earache stereo for ages. Even today, at the tender age of 38, there are few things that make me happier after another morale-sapping day at work than to drive home with the stereo up loud playing some crudely recorded thirty years ago type NWOBHM racket.

I've never worn a Saxon t-shirt though.
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:01, 10 replies)

hot-air trousers
It's usually quite cold in our office, so I periodically go to the handicapped toilets (where everything is lower), tuck my trousers into my socks, unzip and then direct the hand dryer down my trousers so that they fill with hot air and bathe my pasty white legs.
And occasionally I have a wank.
(frankspencer, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 12:00, 6 replies)

World of Warcraft
well if its cool enough for Mr.T to advertise it, then thats good enough for me !

Still feel like an 18 carrat gold geek though. :)
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:58, 2 replies)

Somebody has to be there - I don't know why she is still married to me
What do I do for fun? - turn on the heated passenger seat in the car and slowly up the control as the wife gets more and more uncomfortable. Keeps me happy for hours - she still hasn't sussed it

the car? its an estate - so of reasonable length
(conanow, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:58, 4 replies)

Wh........
I only went for a wee!
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:58, Reply)

I like to sing
when I'm driving.
Loudly, and to anything from Radiohead to Death Metal.

On more than one occasion people have stared at me, thinking I'm shouting at them, whilst I'm happily growling along to the latest In Flames album.
( Cawl, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:57, 5 replies)

First Page - Woot!
Im guilty of f5 on Thurs.
(TAZ220 Not giving a toss since, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Guilty Pleasure?
B3ta.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:55, 3 replies)

Neil Diamond
I am 42 years old and think that Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond is the greatest song ever written. It's here, in its own special little folder on my PC, tucked behind all the porn and well out of sight of prying eyes.

Have at THAT Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Same thing with more words and the Best Smiths Joke Ever HERE.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:54, 3 replies)

yay
first

Guilty pleasure ? Well, Im really into my rock/metal, but I do have a soft spot for 80's stuff like "Erasure" and The "Pet Shop Boys".

And I also enjoy Eurovision, in a non-ironic way.
(kitescreech still here, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:53, 3 replies)