I found a tenner once
Yeah so it's got no story and has no anecdote at the end but fuck it...I was up a tenner!

Oh I found £20 once too, still not long or funny but quite awsome!

EDIT - 5 minutes after this post I found a fiver in my room and I don't know where it came from.....huzzah!
(puggs, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 16:58, Reply)

Get along littl' doggies
My Mum loves skipraiding, she can't walk pass one without have a quick look to see what "treasures" have been left out for her to discover. So we weren't surprise when my brother Weazal and I were called to look at her latest find, "I thought I could use the flex for something, tie up the bush or something in the garden".
Said flex was attached to.........a homemade 3 ft long electric cattle prod.
Found in Norwich, a city known for Mustard, Sale of the Century, and Delia Smith getting pissed up at footy matches, not giant herds of wandering cattle that need a little bit of an electric poke to get them back in line.
Oh the fun trying to explain to her why someone might have built it.
( Not just a hatstand inflamed in the membrane inflamed in the brain, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 16:54, Reply)

I found this whilst being bored
www.b3ta.com/board/1
( FreudianSlap, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 16:21, Reply)

somethings should never be found
Was reading through these replies I remembered finding what some may call treasure.... It's not so much what i found but where i found it

i shudder as i type this one

When I was little i used to be posted off to my nan's for the weekend (most weekends apparently) so my parents could have alone time which would explain why 1 of us turned into four! Anyway I must of been 5/6 and during one of my weekend stays at my nan's i was put to bed as usual and in the room where i slept was a secret staircase anyway i was told never to go up there... well even then didn't respond well to the words no, don't and i'm warning you.. so i went up there and found a tin one of the those you get at christmas when people don't know what else to get you but a huge tin of crap biscuits.... well when i finally opened it contained porn playing cards and a few packs of them as well as some porn magazines...not something you expect to find at your nans - thinking back they were possibly spanish i make this assumption as to the big black permed hair and mostaches!!!

Unfortantly didn't manage to put them back exactly where i found them - which led to a strange conversation with my step-grandad about secrets and how my nan didn't need to know about them

unfortunately can't remember if i did tell my nan about them but the tin was never seen again and i started staying with my other nans!

no weapons or cash but disturbing
(thesickandwrong, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 15:49, Reply)

not so hidden 'treasure'
growing up on a military base next to a runway gave me many opportunities to find interesting objects abandoned in the field near my house such as:

-documents that seemed important and official but were probably just packing slips
-traffic cones
-'Danger! High Voltage!' signs, one of which i still have

and my favourite: finding brightly coloured tiles in a ditch when i was about seven. I took them home and showed my mother who informed me that they were asbestos taken off the buildings in a renovation project and that I should put them back where i found them. pity. i've always wanted bright orange asbestos siding. ;___;
(froffee, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 15:27, Reply)

2 treasures for the price of 1!
While working for the military a few years ago in Berlin, I was given the task of cleaning out some of the barracks clubhouses prior to the military pull out and handover to the Germans.

One such Club had a cellar that had been used in the 70s, then closed up due to safety reasons. I was given a broom, sacks and a mop and asked to clean it out.

Stepping into there was literally like going back in time - grafitti on the walls "T Rex forever", "David Bowie I love you", etc and psychedelic paint on the walls.. fantastic.

In this cellar was a door that was locked - I asked the manager for the key and he said it was "lost", giving me a wry smile. Reason he "lost" the key is that we had to hand back everything in a clean state, and this room was right underneath the kitchens, where they had previously discovered that the fryers had been leaking for the past 10 - 15 years. After much begging, he said he would try and find the key, which he did.

We unlocked the door and opened it, to be met with the gut churning sight of a blackened filthy room with sagging greasy ceiling, full of scary ancient defunct kitchen equipment. As the room's centrepiece stood a 4 foot high 10 foot across dark brown lard stalagmite full of millions of dead flies, several dead rodents and a bucketfull of assorted dead beetles and spiders.

We closed the door and threw the key into the forest.

apologies for hairyness of arse.
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 13:33, Reply)

When I
moved into halls in 2003 (Bath Uni, coincedentally), I found something rather less than a treasure in the plughole of my shower.

yes, the previous occupant had long curly black hair that meant I nearly flooded the room about five times before I worked out what was going on. removing it nearly made me vomit.

not exactly a treasure, but... er... umm... bite me.
(rob_187 Ooh, Faye Dunaway!, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 12:32, Reply)

We found a rather expensive grandfather clock
while playing away at another rugby club. Well, I say found. Stole is possibly more accurate.

Our committee made us bloody return it too. Do you have any idea how much effort it takes to nick a 6 foot, heavy-as-fuck clock? No. Didn't think so...
(Rushy, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 12:04, Reply)

the joy of find-yness
Rifling round my mate's bedroom one day when we were utterly bored, I located maybe 1/16 of weed and a gram of speed. We had a good day.

And, recall as a child of maybe 7 or 8, going for a wander up the road with my two mates. We found a small wood and investigated. In a big hole under a tree we found, to our delight, hundreds of golf balls.

We immediately returned home to get carrier bags, which we filled up with golf balls. Much fun to be had, until we realised later we had absolutely no use for them and were now stuck with a couple hundred golf balls.

No idea why they were there. We took them back in the end. Maybe they're still there.
(sporky, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 11:24, Reply)

Truth, honest.
Mum decided to have a garage sale, emptied the loft and all the cluttered draws and found two watches. Only an original Breitling diver, with - mint condition.the radioactive glow-face, post war. Brother stole them, not spoken to the cnut since.

No need sibling tight-ery
(Jetboy75, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 2:28, Reply)

Non-pc war banter
Was clearing out my grans attic not so long ago and discovered my late grandads wartime diary from 1943. He was stationed in Cairo in a hanger fixing machinery with the locals. Here is an exerpt that brought a tear to my eye:

"Punctuated a good afternoons work by taking part in a 2-frontal attack on Abdul (one of the wogs) using elastic bands. Consequently reduced him to a state of typically 'woggy' rage"

God bless the WWII international comradery.
(Fat_Baz_turd, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 0:23, Reply)

Pentium 3 550mhz
Complete except for hard drive, found at the bus stop outside Bon Marche in Nottingham. This was about 3 years ago and 550mhz was still pretty quick! My sister's using it now.

My gf also reckons she found the best hidden treasure ever as well when she was about 6/7. She used to go round a friend of the family's house, they had 4 boys. Boys being boys would love nothing more than digging up their enormous back garden. She used to regularly find little smurfs in different poses around the garden along with old bits of plate. She was always suprised, as were the lads that lived there that these smurfs were a planty in their mud. Those were the days of finders keepers and she gained a modest collection of Smurfs. Thinking back though, the boys must have buried them there in the first place - so why were they suprised and why'd they let her keep them? Who knows, and who cares eh? Smurfs rock. The collection has now been lost.
(Sharp-Eyed Sharon, Sun 3 Jul 2005, 0:06, Reply)

Typical
Was rummaging in my mad uncles house (rents had fucked off for the summer) if found this raging queen of a fawn sitting in a pile of snow, in my uncles wardrobe.

he kept crying and then talking about some snow queen.

what was i to do? I dropped a rock on his head when he wasnt looking and stole his wallet. £10. result!
(Attention Whore, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 23:08, Reply)

Woo!
I work in a pharmacy/chemist that recently changed ownership, and I was cleaning out all of the stuff left behind by the family that had owned it for decades. So, I was given the delightful task of cleaning it all out.

One of the first things I found was a very large quantity of cocaine marked with a warning- "Potentially habit-forming. Use with care."

It has since dissapeared...hmm...
(Fodqou, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 22:53, Reply)

My uncovered treasure
1 - Whilst looking for x-mas prezzies as a kid (Ok, I was 16, but I love x-mas), my dad's rubber dress, blonde wig, and magazines named "Tranz". Considering he's 59, 20 stone, bald, and a gruff Scotsman makes me smile when he has a go at me for being a slacker.
2 - A bag of magic mushrooms outside my flat door in Withington.
3 - A photo of a baby, found in a toilet in club in Nottingham, whilst having an E pooh. I now carry it with me at all times and show folk my baby photo. It's worth it for the look on people's faces when they ask whose it is and I say I haven't a clue. Come on, it's like pretending to be a paedo!
Oh, whilst we're at it, if anyone uncovers my lost sanity it seems to be still missing after Glastonbury.
( gadjie, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 20:23, Reply)

hidden treasure my arse
When I was younger I worked on the buildings. One cold winter we were working in Peterlee and had to shift a load of bagged sand from a house we had previously dropped it in. On entering the house a rather shitty smell hit us, but no poo to be found anywhere. We started to carry the bags of sand outside and as I picked up a bag from the middle of the stack the smell became much stronger. Thinking I'd stood in something I checked my boots. Nope, no poo there. Mate standing beside me says, "God something REALLY stinks here." Again we check our boots, (me still holding the bag of sand close to my chest with my arms tight around it). I drop the bag into the wheelbarrow and am hit by the most disgusting whiff you can imgaine. Some dirty bastard had shit on the sand bags, the dropped another bag over it, only for muggins here to pick up the bag and smear himself with foul smelling shit all down his chest and arms. Bastards wasn't what I called them.

Oh and as a nipper me and some mates found half of a full grown alsatian by the railtracks near us, top half only, neatly sliced through, and no back end to be seen anywhere.
(Tyrion, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 18:54, Reply)

I robbed
A laptop off some guy in a City pub. Turned out it had secret data from MI6 on it. Result!

Oh, and apparently the Labour Party is just one backbench revolt away from taking the country into the Soviet Union.

Yeah, and they're going to set of a bomb under Greenham Common to spark the Revolution.

I also found that I'm stuck in the plot of a Frederick Forsyth book.
( Martini? What is this? 1972?! (steveee), Sat 2 Jul 2005, 18:42, Reply)

Treasure
When we moved to our new house, I went upstairs to my bedroom to be; and low and behold, stuck the the radiator was a MICKEY MOUSE FRIDGE MAGNET.

And I still have it, even to this day.
(the pencil bird flies at sock time when the carpet fleas are young, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 17:57, Reply)

screen saver fun
My treasure was when i discovered that the 3 or 4 monitors that sat behind my wood work teachers desk had no password protection.

cut to register, and half way through all the moniters screen savers poped up with 'mr Smith is a rape victim' (name changed of course)

oh how we did laugh!

humour at its most sophisticated!
(viva_le_boosh, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 17:52, Reply)

a cardboard lady
When we were taking out the old fitted wardrobes from my room we found half a cardboard cutout of a woman in a bikini staring back at us.

God knows how it got there or what happened to her legs. We did have a lot of fun making her 'peep' over my neighbours hedge though.
(theforcesofevil, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 17:02, Reply)

Two 70s porn mags under the floorboards
were discovered when re-wiring a socket.

I was about 14 and my arm ached for months.
( Black Moon Not cracked, I'm all up to be., Sat 2 Jul 2005, 16:01, Reply)

.
When I was a kid I once found thousands of 'liquorice bullets' scattered under a tree at my uncles country property. I couldn't believe my luck, what a treasure!

They didn't taste right so I showed my mum, she informed me they were actually possum poos.
(Brundy, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 15:57, Reply)

In my bedroom
one time I was moving everything about, just for a change. And under my monkeys cap, this guy lives on top of my cupboard, there was £40 in cash. I have no idea where it came from and iv never asked anyone els in the house about it.
I still keep checking under his hat every now and then....just in case
(Moofster, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 15:43, Reply)

2 kilos of blasting powder
My great uncle was a road builder in the 1930s-60s in Italy. He was also pretty active in the wartime resistance to German occupation. After he died we would stay at his (now empty) farmhouse in the Italian Alps during the summer. Always fun, as we would find all sorts of stuff stashed in his outhouses and sheds - bullet making equipment, distillation gear, hundreds of bottles of hooch.

A couple of years ago and about 12 years since he died we were rooting around in the attic of an outhouse and came across an ammo box. In it were two kilo sacks of blasting granules in original packaging - they looked maybe 50 years old. The granules were all black and shiny and gravel like. And a bit exciting.

I guess Uncle Charlie had used them for blasting through the roads he built way back when, which ran through mountain terrain. And decided to keep a few (whether for fun or wartime sabotage, who knows?)

So we put a few granules on the ground outside and chucked a lighted stick at them. There was a fizzing and a really bright flame. Fun. So we piled up some more and lit the end of a long stick and stuck it in the middle. There was a delay and then a loud fizz and a mega bright flame, smoke and a sulphurous smell. But nothing too scary. Though it sort of burned an image into your retina for a while - like when you look at the sun.

So we piled up the best part of a quarter of a sack in the middle of the back yard and tried again. There was a delay, and nothing much happened. So I got a smouldering log from the fire and used the stick to push it towards the pile. When it got there, there was a pause, then a slight fizz, then the most apolcalyptic bang/flash/whatever. The log disappeared (whether blown up or blown away, who knows), the flash nearly blinded us. The echo reverberated up and down the valley. And a small but perfectly formed mushroom cloud lifted slowly into the air and hung above the house, as if to signify to the world that this was where the mad bombers of the Peidmont were hiding out. Thank f*ck there are not that many police in the remoter parts of rural Italy...

After contemplating the fun that could be had from packing the stuff into bottles or pipes, we collectively shat ourselves at the prospect of really overdoing it, dumped the remainder in a bucket of water and chucked it into a hole in the ground.

Fun whilst it lasted, though....
( automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 14:16, Reply)

MAgical World Of Happiness
I once stumbled into the magical world of eternal happiness where everyone loved me and I loved them. Then the damn alcohol left my bloodstream and I found a monster hangover.
(Birdman, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 13:15, Reply)

Sorry, another porn story...
Whilst surfing the interweb a few years ago i stumbled across the unlocked 'backdoor' to a well known pornsite, que me spending a couple of days downloading 200,000+ flash and image files for free - marvellous !
( JJ, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 11:57, Reply)

Just wondering...
Has anyone done a 'Magic Lamp' post yet, complete with wishes, Robin Williams-voiced genie and a magic carpet?

If not, I'll... ah screw it, can't be arsed, too much packing to do.
(jonh, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 11:54, Reply)

more pr0n
Yet another addition to the pr0n files... in Grade 6 (about 11 years old) my class went on a school "camp" in the city (hey, we were from the country, it was totally exciting) and stayed at a "youth hostel". In my room my insane friend Rhiannon and I found a copy of Fiesta, which I kept for fucking ages. That "It happened to ME!" story about the chick who got spitroasted by about fifty guys was burned into my brain forever...
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 11:43, Reply)

Polyfilla-Porn
Moved into halls in 2000 (Bath Uni, in case anyone's interested. Probably not) and while I was putting stuff into the drawers in my desk I thought to myself, "I keep some interesting stuff under my drawers, I wonder if there's anything in here?"

In case you hadn't already guessed, there was! ("no shit?!" I hear you cry) Anyway, I found not only a copy of Mayfair (is there any better kind of treasure than free porn?) from 1997, but also a half-empty tube of Polyfilla. I know not whether these items were related, but needless to say I didn't touch either of them with bare hands.

Oh and a Southern Comfort banner under the drawers in the base of my bed, which is now adorning my wall with its whisky-ey goodness.

I'm not going to put in a crap length/girth/curvature/viscosity-style pun, I'm merely going to say that if your ego ever needs boosting, I can fully recommend being asked to stop because of excessive length :-)
(jonh, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 11:31, Reply)

i was helping my dad put the garage roof on
what better way to do something 'manly'. ahem. he told me to put some of his old trousers on so i went into the drawer he told me to and at the bottom was a copied dvd simply called 'ass cleavage'. its treasure because i darent watch it. brrrrr.
(hamstrungbarber chris, 1990, united kingdom, Sat 2 Jul 2005, 11:12, Reply)