the post below reminds me
i used to have a holiday job as a letting agent. most of the properties were in manchester, but we had a couple of blocks in liverpool. this particular day i'd been sent over to do something at the liverpool blocks and was happily on my way back to manchester. i had been allowed to take the boss' super-posh jag* as the others were out on viewings; i had a lovely pipe opening drive on the motorway ahead of me in the sunshiiiiiine; all was well in the world of swipe. but on the way out of the block, you had to jump out of the car to open the barrier, so i did.

then drove back to manchester. bliss. only when i arrived back at the office did i hear a plaintive miaow from the back, and turn around to see that a fucking scouse cat had crept in whilst i had the door open...

my boss was furious that the journey had taken me 2 hours longer than it should have done. when i explained i'd had to take the cat back, he wanted to know why i hadn't just dumped it at the side of the road. as if anyone would do that!

* the next time i got to take the jag, i had a mother and kid that i was taking to look at a house. we got in, and the little girl piped up, "ooh it's like daddy's car." to which the mother actually replied, "no dear, daddy's is a custom made aston martin. these are just mass produced." needless to say, they didn't like the house very much...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 9:58, 52 replies)

my colleague took a range rover in to the garage because it was making an odd noise every time he slowed down
turned out there was a cat under his wheel arch ... dunno if it was a mass-produced cat though

also ... without going all Clarkson ... Aston Martins aren't "custom made" ... they have options and personalisation like any other factory-produced car
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:07, closed)

I'm not going to like this
until I know the cat is OK
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:10, closed)

the cat was fine
I think they even returned it to the owner ... possibly without mentioning its proximity to a rapidly spinning rubber wheel of death.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:13, closed)

Aren't they a bit more "hand made".
i.e. the panels are hand beaten and the engines manually assembled from some hand machined parts?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:14, closed)

Ask Rotating wobbly hat - he used to work there

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:23, closed)

I'm sure there's considerably more skill and faff than a Vauxhall Astra ... but they're not hand beaten ... it's not the 1950s

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:29, closed)

Mine was hand-beaten when I parked it in Wythenshawe.
Fucking cunting Manc kids.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 12:48, closed)

No

( Ghoti Fingers, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:58, closed)

The last cars that were built like that were the last ones to roll out of Newport Pagnell.
If I recall correctly, they were still doing Vanquish S after 2000 and those had all of the hand rolled panels etc. but the engines haven't been hand-assembled since the V8s of the previous generation Vantage (when the one person who had built it would anoint the engine block with his own personally engraved badge). But even these vehicles suffered from the encroachment of the Ford Spare Parts Bin touches like column stalks and window switches.

The cars rolling out of Gaydon today do have a practically limitless choice of colour combination for cabin leather/seat leather/dashboard finish and a ridiculous choice of external paint name ("Dr Bez Silver?"), leading to some truly horrific combinations by people who thought they had exquisite taste. But the only significant options I can think of was the stereo (Radio 5 live strength or Drum and Bass Strength?) or heli-tape applied to the bumpers ward off stone chips.

If this was 15 years ago it would be quite possible the snobby tart's hubs had an old school 80s V8 a la Living Daylights.

Back in those days it was possible to specify anything you wanted so long as you coughed up for the full engineering costs, and that's when you see cars at NP being carefully taken apart so the old tan leather and walnut wood interior DB7 would get a tasteful update of carbon fibre steering wheel and purple chrome interior and an iPod dock at the whim of a Saudi prince who thought nothing of dropping 200 grands' worth on a car that was only worth 50 to begin with. And don't get me started on the Sultan of Brunei.

This is not that unique though. Overfinch do the same with Range Rovers. Jag now have their own setup for helping the overmoneyed customise their new cars, but these are stock cars reverse-modded

(this post has been revised a lot, mainly due to the fact I can spell but I can't type that well first time around)
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:20, closed)

get away with your facts and your first-hand knowledge

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:22, closed)

No place for it on QFTW
soz.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:37, closed)

you internet ruiner

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 16:53, closed)

well, you've ruined my internet experience for the foreseeable future.

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Tue 26 Aug 2014, 21:49, closed)

Heh - 'Gaydon'

( Pig Bodine., Wed 27 Aug 2014, 13:40, closed)

i'm sure it was total and utter bollocks
she was neither intelligent nor pleasant, a real snobby tangerine tinted WAG type. she just wanted to put down the estate agent.

although in the interest of being strictly fair to those who do not deserve it, it was about 15 years ago, so she may have said some other make of car and i've forgotten exactly what it was.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:40, closed)

and it's the duty of every decent human being to denigrate estate agents at every opportunity

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:58, closed)

Well...
That lets you off the hook then.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 10:59, closed)

technically i was only a letting agent, or a "residential property lettings negotiator and property manager" as it said on my cv
i never did sales.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 11:06, closed)

lettings negotiation is sales.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 11:19, closed)

most of us don't bother to discriminate between the various sub-genres of the untermenschen

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 11:34, closed)

^ worse than hitler ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 11:39, closed)

if he'd concentrated on estate agents, solicitors, and recruitment consultants he'd have been the hero of the 20th century

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 11:41, closed)

all true

( Glovington, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:30, closed)

:(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:53, closed)

^This.
Them and The Ginges.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 27 Aug 2014, 12:43, closed)

the bloke who did the conveyancing on our last house was a ginger
and he had one of those Beadle beards that fat blokes use in an attempt to redefine their chubby chin.


:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 13:03, closed)

i went to highgate cemetery the other day
and saw beadle's grave, amongst others. the end.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 13:27, closed)

but on the other hand ...

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 15:08, closed)

Yeah, but we're ALL worse than Hitler.
FUHRER OF OUR HEARTS!
ANSCHLUSSING OUR AFFECTIONS!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 27 Aug 2014, 12:41, closed)

what's german for spider anyway?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 13:28, closed)

(^(^;;^)^) SPINNEN!
(^(^;;^)^) LOS TEAM SPINNEN!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 27 Aug 2014, 13:40, closed)

spinnen is a much better word than spider
i like this
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 13:48, closed)

I was once told by a wise old sage
That if your job title ends in 'agent' but doesn't begin with either 'secret' or 'news' then you can consider yourself a cunt.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 11:43, closed)

Then you'd need lubricating agent,

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 26 Aug 2014, 13:26, closed)

So,
your job title is 'Associate'?
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 14:29, closed)

No
my job title is "sanitation fixture technician"
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 15:00, closed)

if you work hard you could be Technical Director of Sanitation

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 15:27, closed)

Talking late at night on the internet (edited)
I think I made a mistake. Placeholder. Carry on.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 26 Aug 2014, 21:35, closed)

It is difficult to tell tell difference
The only thing that struck me in the Aston was the handbreak onthe othere side. Apart from that you could be in a Jag or even a Mondeo Ghia (similar layout to the jag).
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 17:33, closed)

Same number of wheels.
How can two things have the same number of wheels, ffs?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 17:35, closed)

So your experience is different?
I found the seats in the Mondeo Ghia to be very similar to those in the Jaguar XK -- the Aston was, of course, covered in better leather but not an awful lot different.
If the cars don't share parts then kindly share -- otherwise I assume you're talking out of your arse.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 18:17, closed)

I wasn't making any kind of point...
...so I dunno who you're arguing with.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 12:37, closed)

I can't tell whether I'm in your mouth or your arse.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Aug 2014, 17:37, closed)

If you were in his arse you could hear him asking 'Are you in yet?'

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 1:34, closed)

I couldn't make that out amongst the unfathomably dull observations about automobile interiors

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 7:26, closed)

top internetting

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 10:03, closed)