b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Iffy crushes » Post 1387516 | Search
This is a question Iffy crushes

Who would you like to have sex with who isn't probably top of everyone's list and why?

(, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 14:54)
Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1

« Go Back

My mum. Let me explain . . .
I’d love to try to bury my way, face first, back into the cunt she squirted me out of all those years ago, lapping up the last gritty mucal productions of her grey, mottled sagging clunge, with two fingers buried up to the knuckle in her quivering haemorrhoid-ringed arsehole.

Pausing only for another two deep, heavy snorts of amyl nitrate, after gently tracing her hysterectomy scar with my pulsing angry cock, I’d tear back into passionately tounging her knackered fuck-hole, bringing her to a fierce screaming orgasm, before flipping her round and stuffing my throbbing cock deep inside her greasy, pre-fingered anus, pumping her as hard as i could, her deflated tits flapping with each thrust.

Eventually, when her cries of pleasure turn to yelps of pain, i can take my excitement no more, and end up spunking wad after wad of my hot, creamy fucklove into her collapsed fudge tunnel.

In the back of my uncles Honda accord.

With my dad, knocking on the window, delivering a Meat Feast thin and crispy waiting to be savoured in my post orgasmic bliss, while my mum nips back into the house to put the kettle on.

With the grease from the pizza, i draw a heart shape on the window, fart idly, but realise that i am SO relaxed, i follow through, drenching the back seats if a quagmire of my stinking effluent.

Looking round embarrassed, i see my mum returning with the tea, but before she gets back into the car, she notices the revolting diarrhoea soaked back seats, her mouth falling open with shock . .

. . . or is it lust?

She climbs back into the car, and tells me “Don’t worry son. Don’t worry. We all have accidents from time to time.” and leans in to kiss me, to let me know that everything is going to be oK.

Our mouths meet, and open, our tongues exploring each others mouths like love-sick slugs, and she gathers a handful of the liquid shit we are both sitting in, making sure her whole hand is covered. She pulls my head back by the hair, so i can get a proper look at her sliding her fist, lubricated by shit, deep into her glistening, dusty cunt.

It doesn’t take her long to cum this time, she arches her back and lets out along animalistic moan, before pulling her fist out of herself and letting me suck her fingers dry.

“Happy birthday, son,” she says.

"I love you, mum” I'd say.

“I know, son,” she says, stroking my hair, “I know.”

Just . . the answers were getting a bit dull.
First time post, and all.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 17:27, 27 replies)
well done.

I got half way through the first sentence.

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 17:45, closed)
, says poster extraordinaire usename failed moderation.

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:36, closed)
I can't fault you for
factual accuracy, but I'm not sure what you're saying.
(, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 8:15, closed)
That's quite an act you've got there...
.....what do you call it?
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 17:45, closed)
Being bored fucking shitless at work.

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 17:54, closed)
ever thought about a career change?

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 18:55, closed)

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:07, closed)
well then stop thinking and start doing!

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:12, closed)
I think he was hoping for an aristocrats joke.

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:37, closed)
welcome and click
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 17:49, closed)

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 18:08, closed)
You know, I was never SpankyHanky's biggest fan
But even I'd say that's far too insulting to Spanky
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:12, closed)
Both put me off my tea

(, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 0:46, closed)
You'll fit in really well here

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 18:17, closed)
Never a more true word been spoken
Especially on QOTW
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 18:33, closed)
I disagree, but just cause Rory's a cunt.

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:55, closed)
^^^^ This ^^^^

(, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 9:09, closed)
^^this again^^^

(, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 10:06, closed)
shut up, frankspencer

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:06, closed)
Man, that was so shocking,
I might never be able to look at the internet, ever again.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:10, closed)
It's the goatse of QOTW.
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:52, closed)
Fuck off back to mumsnet

(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:33, closed)
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 21:38, closed)
I sincerely hope
this heralds the return of spanky
(, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 23:36, closed)
Spanky is still among us
biding his time.
(, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 9:09, closed)
I hope you're an orphan

(, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 0:33, closed)

The third reply already said your mum.
(, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 7:11, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1