An odd tale
This takes me back a few years.

Basically, i was 5, and he was a year older.
We were playing on those old fashioned wooden horses in the garden.
He was the highly succesful black team, i was the modest white team, with very few victories under my belt.
BANG BANG! He loosed a salvo of shots
BANG BANG! I came a cropper, and tumbled
BANG BANG! What a racket
The bugger had shot me down.

I have no siblings, so instead attempted to make a comical jest, based on the lyrics to a "popular music" track. However, i have failed. Please further inflate my only child ego by clicking the "i like this" icon...now.
(Nyphur, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 13:01, Reply)

Revenge is a dish best served smack in the f*cking face
After years and years of suffering pain at the hands of elder brother - incidents including being slammed off my parents bed on to a the outstretched leg of a camp bed (aged 5, 8 stitches by the spine), having a fish knife thrown into my skull (aged 8 weeks, 4 stitches) thrown down a flight of stairs into the porch window (aged 6, multiple stitches in multiple wounds), repeatedly suffering spinal injuries due to the 'alphabet game' (I'd be bundled to the floor, kicked into a small ball and then have a chair placed on my back. He'd then go through the alphabet and, at the letter R he'd push the chair down as hard as he could so I'd go ARRRRRGH so he could continue from S onwards - educational you see?) and punched through our open front door only to sail over all three steps and onto the non-soft concrete floor (aged 12, 9 stitches in the back of the head) I decided to challenge him one night to a pillow fight.

His spotty face filled with glee as he charged towards me with his duck feathered filled delight thinking he was about to give his little brother another sound beating. I caught him square in the face as he sprinted forward and knocked the cunt spark out.

He hadn't bargained on me sticking a 2 inch thick wooden bread board inside my pillow case.

To this day my favourite noise in the whole wide world is 'thunk'.

His violent and bullying ways never stopped though and he went on to join the police.
Coincidence? Bollocks.
(Let's all have an asbo, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 12:31, Reply)

Where do I start?
Me an my younger brother always seemed to have run ins.

The two most memorable were the "bathroom incident" and the "javelin"

"The bathroom incident" was when bath was being run and he was sitting fully clothed on it's rim.
I tried a karate round-house kick I had seen in the movies and it connected firmly with the side of his head.
He fell into the bath ...
He was quite upset.

The "javelin" was actually a plastic tent pole that I, for some unknown reason, threw at him down our stairs. It hit him in the face.
He was quite upset.

I also used to do more psychological things like swap him two twenty pence coins for a single fifty pence. [Two coins is more than one!]
And get him to pay for "fixing" electronic toys that I had, um, previously removed the batteries from.

Aah, the joy of having a younger brother.
( coder.keitaro I like pies!, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 12:07, Reply)

Tra la la !
I was four and my lovely little brother, about 6 months old, was sitting in his highchair looking unbelievably cute (peachy baby skin, huge brown eyes and wispy blonde hair). I thought it might be fun to turn his cute little head from being a soft peach into a mushy tomato.

With my plastic spade.

To the tune of "Banana Splits" - Tra la la ..la-la-la-la.. tra la la.. la-la-la-la ! over and over again until the spade snapped.
Even though it must have really hurt, he didn't cry once but when I was finally compelled to stop due to the spade breakage, he looked up at me and said "La".
One of my friends snitched to my Mum and I got banned from playing in the sandpit for the day.
Small punishment methinks.

I'm so sorry Jamie, so so sorry.
( rabbitz, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 11:49, Reply)

Psychological Injury
Most of the post's for this brilliant question involve violence on one level or another. However, there can be more subtle ways of tormenting ones siblings.

Like when my brother had a milkshake that he didn't want to share with anyone until Mum made him give me a taste. So I took a nice big gulp and then deposited a mouthful of spit back down the straw. The look of horrified disgust as he sucked up my spittle far outweighs the beating he gave me afterwards. I still chuckle to this day.
(firesnake, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 10:34, Reply)

back in the
i) day, when i was a kiddie, my sister is 3 years younger than me, and we always used to throw things at each other, nothing chronic, just the usual gardening implements, power tools, sharp things.

ii) One time my sister threw a rock at me so I instinctive returned fire with what was in my hands, a knife, a similar thing happened with a spoon and my older sisters nose


iii) When i was a baby i was being bounced on my older sisters lap, threw my head back breaking her nose.

iv) my brother who is 20 years older than me hit me when i was 15, and being a rugby player and not wanting to look weak i chinned the fucker. and now his wife hates me
(Bored, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 10:25, Reply)

Big Bruvers
My brothers are 12&14 years older than me but when I was 4 I worked out that if I pulled with all my strength I could flip them off the rocking chair, mind you they did used to get me back with numerous tortures including wet finger in the ear and picking me up by the foot and bashing my head on the floor!!
(Smumps, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 9:21, Reply)

What was that for????
My friend and his younger sister were playing digging in the garden as kids, you know one has the spade and the other the fork and you jump on them to make them go into the soil properly.
Next thing my friend knows his sister runs inside and his dad comes out clips him round the ear, he`s sent to the neighbours as his parents drive off with his sister in the car.
Only to be told on there return that he`d jumped on the fork and put it completely through his sisters foot.
(Smumps, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 9:17, Reply)

Stole from her piggy bank
She had lost her key and I reckoned that anything that I could keep any coins that I could rattle out of the crack. Was young at the time but old enough to know that my parents probably wouldn't agree. Didn't ask.
(spinoza, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 8:08, Reply)

My brother
My brother and I would constantly fight as kids, now that we're older we're much more civil :)

But way back in the early 80's I thought he'd have some fun by riding on atop of one of those push along lawn mowers - it wasnt running so it was relatively safe (or so I thought.)

Everything was going fine until we were heading down a bit of a slope and he wanted me to stop the mower and let him get off - I didnt stop and he tried to jump off trapping his foot under the non-running engine and thus breaking his leg. A plaster cast and a month or two of guilt mongering, the kinda stuff ya do when yer kids eh.

-- Jim.
( Jimmer still not dead at, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 2:49, Reply)

Defacing the property
of an older sibling is never a good plan. So anyways, myself (at the time 13) and my brother (16) had just become the proud owners of a couple of BB guns (cheers mum and dad!). Now this isn't exactly a open and shut case of 'bullet in the eye'. Oh my no.
So we're running round the garden doing the whole SAS thing, trying to blast the balls off each other. And then... I decide to go and slip on the mildly wet grass, twist my ankle round, doubling it back round to my ass with an awesome "CRACK!". So off to the hospital we go. Diagnosis: fractured ankle. Remedy: surgery, with charming metal plate.
So I'm booked in to have the operation a week after the initial A & E visit and I'm chilling at home in a soft temporary cast waiting for my appointment. Without school to keep me occupied, I had found entertainment through drawing beards on the posters on my brother's wall, most namely that of Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters fame.
So my brother gets back from school, observes my handiwork, storms down and kicks my said injury off the coffee table. Worst pain I've ever felt. Week later, after the pre-op X-ray... amended diagnosis: broken ankle, multiple fractures. Remedy: another metal plate. Ow. 4 years later and we both went to see the Foo Fighters together, and subsequently met Dave Grohl. He already had a beard. I don't think he'd have cared anyway.
(Mr. Beef studio gash stylist, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 1:49, Reply)

Erm...
Well, it's what my lil bro did to me actually.

We were both small, I was 10, he must have been around 4, but he's a strong lad. When I was little I had a ponytail right down my back, and I don't remember why (I think it was unprovoked) but... there I was, sat on a chair in the kitchen, when he came up and yanked my ponytail. Hard. So hard I came off my chair, and my little toe got caught under the steering wheel of one of those plastic dashboard toys.

It bled like feck, and wouldn't you know, the wound has never closed? I swear. It's the joint on the inside, where the toe bends, and maybe it's just a deep scar but it still hurts like buggery.

Twat.

(I've not got a length to apologise for, I'm female)
(Deathway, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 0:57, Reply)

When my little sister pissed me off
I used to stick my cock in her mouth.
(Green Opal, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 0:34, Reply)

My brother and I used to fight when we were little.
We were both vicious little bastards and so our fights would go on for ages and often land one or both of us in casualty. This one day when I was ten and he was six we were having a spectacular scrap and he was winning. He was beating the crap out of me. In my defence I should say that being beaten up by your six-year-old brother when you're ten is a deeply humiliating experience which I simply could not allow to happen, and that is why I clobbered him over the head with a cricket bat. It was a great shot and I'm frankly amazed he retained consciousness, but alas he did, and went screaming to mummy.

It was at this point that I realised that although he had been giving me a sound beating up until this point, I had no physical evidence of such. Therefore, when Mum came to interrogate me I was going to be in Deep Shit. I did the only thing I could do - I bit my arm. I bit my arm so hard I drew blood, so that when she thundered into my room I could say, "See what he did to me! SEE?"

All went to plan up until this point, when my mum said, "You did that yourself, didn't you?" How did she know? My brother had lost a milk tooth a couple of weeks previously. I had a complete set of toothmarks on my arm. Bugger.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 21:02, Reply)

it never hurt him,
but i used to take great delight in making my brother kneel down, then i'd put a large (3 and a bit foot tall) plastic washbasket over his head, and it would touch the floor so he'd be hidden. then i'd hit it sideways, and he could do nothing but fall over. try it, kids.
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Sun 21 Aug 2005, 20:02, Reply)

.
There was that time at the beach where I hugged my brother, and peed.
(Cabus, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 19:07, Reply)

Little mother trucker
When I was about four my big sister was annoying me. So being a little fucker I smashed a piece of my new plastic truck off on her head, before telling my dad that it was broken when I opened the box. He complained to woolies, receipt in hand and I got a new truck.
(-mimo-, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 19:04, Reply)

Big Pig
when we were small I once wrote BIG PIG in my little sisters handwriting in very big letters on my mums dressing table mirror, I had used her best lipstick as a pen!
no one believed her when she denied it.

she got the blame for this for at least 15 years until she made me admit it at christmas dinner in front of everyone.
(Dr Worm, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 17:49, Reply)

Please Mr Blood Sucking Monkey
Pray, what were doing playing with your sister in the bath?

Facetious questions aside, I have a fine recollection of realising as a juvenile that an improperly grounded (or something) plug retained a bit of charge (or something) even after being unplugged. (To all you dirty physics geeks, it happened, and I don't care why), so I enjoyed myself by unplugging a kettle or whatnot and swinging it against my sister's legs. Repeatedly. For days. Cue painful shocks and interesting burns, and of course it was impossible to blame dodgy electrics on yours truly.
I also have a much clearer reaction of an attack on the twin-brains with a cricket bat by aforementioned sister. I cried, like the little girl I was never meant to be.
(underwhelmed, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 17:36, Reply)

Snowballs
I threw a snowball which I full well knew contained a stone at my brother, I was 12, he was 9.

Bloudy mess a bleeding nose makes on the snow....

Ewwww
(clarkson4sheephahaha, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 17:06, Reply)

My Little "CHAV" Sister...
My little sis is 3.5years younger than me and is a CHAV! we have always hated yet secretly loved each other. we ALWAYS fight, even now! (im 18 and shes 15)

When i was about 7, she was getting out of the car door at the child minders just after i had got out, i saw her hand in the way of the door so i slammed it shut, only broke one of her fingers though.

A few years later, we had just moved into a new house, we went into the converted loft and were playing, somehow i managed to push her out of the hatch and she fell (well she was pushed really!) and spent the rest of the day in casualty.

About a year later she annoyed me on the stairs so i stormed off into my bedroom and slammed the door, the virbrations made a picture in a frame fall off the wall and hit her on the top of her head, she only had a bad headache though!

shes now started fighting back as shes a chav and becoming wider than i am (im 6'1 and 16stone, a lil plump bt not fat!)
(mufin_man, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 14:55, Reply)

drugged my parents and then went shooting around the house
Or was that someone else - anyhow the devil made me do it.
(The_artist_formally_known_as_alz0r, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 14:43, Reply)

Why the dont let kids watch bruce lee
Watch bruce lee video - emulate - wood sticks still with nails in \o/ ahh impaling nails never felt so good
(The_artist_formally_known_as_alz0r, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 14:41, Reply)

It wasn't always my fault,
but my sister has been injured quite a lot.
Some of the injuries she's sustained partly or entirely through my doing:


- We were playing in the bathroom - she slipped in the bath and bit a chunk out of her tongue

- I pushed her out of a tree and she got a very deep cut from a branch she landed on.

- I hit a wardrobe in frustration and it fell on her.

- I slammed a door in her face and knocked her out.

- I pretended to punch her (to scare her) and slipped, hitting her square in the nose.

- I threw a piece of toast at her and it hit her in the eye - cue breadcrumbs in eye and a lot of screaming.

- I scalded her by knocking a boiling pot noodle onto her. (serves her right for eating that crap!)

She did get back at me once though, by knocking me out with a hockey stick.
(once_upon_a_time, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 12:39, Reply)

Cunning
I once persuaded my brother to hold a knife between the gas cooker hob and the spark mechanism jobby while I pressed the button. The shock made him throw the knife into the ceiling so hard peices of plaster rained down. I've never laughed so hard.
(donksta, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 12:39, Reply)

true painful revenge
GOing back to when my sister was about 16/17 we all knew her boyfreind was staying over as he fianlly got the balls to ask the parents, so to seek revenge for all the abuse and torture i had got from her, i removed the bolts from her bed-legs within ten mins of them 'sleeping' all you hear is an almighty smash, turns out, they had some fun, and the poor bloke got a broken support in his back as a result - (oops)
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 11:55, Reply)

I forgot one
I broke my older sister arm by charging into her at the fairground!! I think i could forsee what she was going to do to me so got my pain in first!!

PEace
(Bhougal...hang me upside down from a banana tree and call me BERTTIE BHOUGAL>>>Oh Yeah...!!, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 11:49, Reply)

supafly
i was always fighting with my older sister. she was the instigator and i just flipped. once i chased her into the back garden and threw a fork at her which stuck in her thigh. also remember a specific time when we were at southport fair and she poured itching powder down my back, i went bezerk and punched the livin shit out of her.

not so much injuring her but once she was oblivious, doing her colouring in and i cut her long hair with a pair of garden shears. she cried like a baby.
(TenderElephant, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 11:15, Reply)

my brother and I get along fine, sadly.
though he's abused me cumulatively over the years.
He farts on me. Twice a day. You could set your watch by it.
( trintrin has jam for blood, Sun 21 Aug 2005, 10:03, Reply)

I injured my brother
When he got on my nerves one too many times when we were playing on our Commodore64 I smacked him in the face with a controller pad and my dad thought I'd broken his nose.

Another time I also tried to kung fu kick him and smacked my foot into the doorframe, and my mum wouldn't take me to casualty because it was my own stupid fault.

So I got what I deserved for being an aggressive little girl.
( ibex (not ipod), Sun 21 Aug 2005, 8:16, Reply)