Dear angry IT support guy
you should have tried harder at school.

Yours

Everyone who has had to deal with you miserable fucks.
(el perro grande, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:24, 42 replies)

Pffft
Ask us a sensible question and we wont be miserable, If a PC is a tool of your trade, learn how to use it. If I hired a builder who was holding his hammer by the thick end or trying to unscrew something with a saw I would consider him unqualified to do his job, same rule applies. We are there to FIX problems not tidy up after people who cannt do their jobs.
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:27, closed)

I find the IT peeps are usually the people I get on best with in companies
Probably because they've usually got the mental age of a ten year old like yours truly.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:30, closed)

The irony in this post
is palpable
( Kroney, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:35, closed)

Ah, yet another person who does not understand the meaning of the word irony. Keep trying, you'll get there eventually, bless you.
(el perro grande, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:40, closed)

Actually,
telling people they need to try harder at school whilst using the poor grammatical structure you did does qualify.
( Kroney, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:43, closed)

I would check the end of your first reply before pointing out the mistakes of others.
(el perro grande, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 18:00, closed)

Not to mention
the fact that IT is quite highly qualified - unlike most of the desk-jockey jobs they provide support to.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 18:21, closed)

I call bullshit
Helldesk isn't highly qualified. You might find a couple of down-and-out CS students but most of them will be reading from a script/knowledgebase. The 2nd liners can be awesome, though.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 20:52, closed)

You're an idiot.
www.google.co.uk/search?q=define%3Airony
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 8:17, closed)

Irony
Irony: that odd taste you get when you have a nosebleed.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 10:53, closed)

Dear cuntwipe user,
We're the monkeys greasing the wheels of every large company and most of the smaller ones. Just because we don't dribble all over you like other people in your life doesn't mean we're not deserving of some fucking respect.

Computers are an incredibly important aspect of business life, and it's your responsibility to make sure that you know how to efficiently use the fucking things before you start bitching about IT being a bunch of lazy fucks. You wouldn't drive your car to work in first gear and then chew out the mechanic/dealer, would you? No, you'd be properly cunted in the fuck and you'd deserve it a) for being a thicko and b) for not educating yourself well enough to use the tools you're given.

We fix the computers, we maintain the network. We balance your daily oh-gosh-woopse-I-forgot-my-password retrieval routine against the back-breaking push for security and we put up with your inability to stick to basic rules. You refuse to even try to understand the reasons why we do the things we do and then you bitch at us for doing them.

On behalf of every miserable IT worker out there,

BBP

PS: I tried bloody hard in school. And university, and then at the MSCE/CCNA/CCDA exams. And Every. Fucking. Day. to put up with cunts like you who make the job utterly painful. And I fucking well succeeded too, so double-fuck you!
(blueberrypossum wants to Jaffa your Cake, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:38, closed)

It obviously wasn't hard enough. Never mind.
(el perro grande, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:51, closed)

Hope you know what you've done
I get the feeeling you may have angered a few of the B3tans with that comment.
(langers, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:38, closed)

I thought I might, what I didn't expect was for so many to rise to such an obvious dig. Has amused me for half an hour though.
(el perro grande, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:42, closed)

"I was only joking haha you fell for it lol"
Oh dear.
( Richard Shitheels, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:51, closed)

I wasn't joking. It has amused me though.
(el perro grande, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:54, closed)

I get the impression
that a piece of paper with 'please turn over' written on both sides would amuse you.

You seem a bit... thick.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 2:20, closed)

Point? Relevance?
Sorry, I responded with knee-jerk type from half my life away.
I'm not sure if this is supposed to be funny or trolling but what I do know is that it's pointless.
Assuming you're remotely serious: I'm an IT type, I didn't have to try in school, people who got lower grades than me earn more and I support them. I don't care -- I can learn fast and work efficiently which is something that people who slag off IT can't do.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 18:55, closed)

I
Should have tried harder in school.

Luckily I was born with an incredibly logical brain and the ability to learn fast - unlike, it seems, the many thousands of desk jockeys that seem unable to use the tools of their trade - i.e. that computer thingy in front of you.

I'm not in support, I was (am) a programmer and now IT manager for the largest printing firm in the world. I was in support for some years though.

Here's a few instance of people that really should have tried harder in school:

1.) The chap who phoned (angrily) because his computer was running 'slow', and somehow it was my fault. Nothing to do with the fact that his computer had been on for around 4 months, running Windows 3.1 with 118 (yes, I counted them) instances of M$ Word v6 open on a machine with 8meg of RAM.

2.) The lady who shouts at me (to this day), for the errors one of our suppliers make when our automated system loads their XML file into our database with an incorrect invoice amount in it. Apparently, "It NEEEEEDS to work correctly", and it's seemingly my job to sort out every IT system in the world should it come into contact with her at some point in her painful life.

3.) The chap who screamed at me (in a very camp voice, it has to be said), that: "Of course, I've checked the bloody cable; do you think I'm an idiot?" when he suggested that MS Excel had caused his monitor to stop working. Upon arrival at his desk, I simply plugged the power cable back in and it started working.

Still...I can't complain, it was fools like these that kept my wages high, and pushed me into a job with even higher wages so I can now write the programs or manage their jobs for them, 'cos they are too lazy or daft to realise what is going on.

So...please keep it up.

The more people there are in the world who can't be bothered to learn the tools of their trade, the longer my (and my colleagues) wages stay high, and the longer we can maintain the moral high(er) ground.

Thank you.
(dchurch bah, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 18:57, closed)

Club!
When I was a young un back in the 80's I went into IT support.

Did a few years dealing with self obsessed fools who could not operate a simple PC.

Got into back office support and then research work.

Have had a whale of a time doing a fascinating and rewarding job for the last 25 years.

I could retire early tommorow if I wanted to, but I enjoy the job too much. Its just so much of a buzz.

So OP, next time you take the piss out of that pimply twat because he treats you with contempt, remember, its because anyone who struggles to use a simple PC deserves to be a wage slave until they are 65, and also remember, that pimply twat will usually retire 15 years before you and spend the rest of his happy geeky life in the Bahamas not at all worried about what you think of his spelling or grammer.

Another mohjito anyone?
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 20:04, closed)

'grammer'. Ha ha, awesome.
(el perro grande, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 14:03, closed)

Computers are gay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 19:17, closed)

Haha
People working in I.T. support haven't had to learn anything.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 21:11, closed)

the irony
it seems to me, is that you've made the IT support guys angry.

lol. Seriously: L O L.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 1:31, closed)

Dear el perro grande

I did quite well at school, thanks - which is why I have more letters after my name than you have braincells. Please do not think that because I'm good with computers, I'm bad with everything else - for I'm quite willing to nail your arrogant and presumptuous ass right to the shithouse door in any intellectual arena you might choose.

Computers are a part of your job - essential tools in your trade, which you really should be able to utilise. The fact you cannot do the job you're paid for reflects poorly on you, not me; were you interchangeable grey-faced cubicle-monkeys capable of flicking an on/off switch without getting it wrong nine times out of ten, my role would not exist, and thus you would not feel the need to whinge about it like a butthurt little baby girl.

Your network exists because I know my trade. If you don't like it - you have a biro, and paper, and stamps. Get fucking writing, you stupid Luddite cunt.

Yours,

Network admins.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 1:54, closed)

Come back
when you have letters BEFORE your name. And grey-faced? No need to be racist, i'm grey and proud.
(el perro grande, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:51, closed)

'come back'?
your implication being I'm somehow unworthy to stand in your presence? I've just read through some of your past offerings, out of idle curiousity, and you seem to be a terminally-unfunny, borderline-illiterate, spectactularly boring nonentity. The chances of you having progressed much beyond GCSEs are vanishly slender, and the implication that you hold a doctorate is frankly laughable.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 15:10, closed)

Laughable maybe, but true. 'spectactularly' wrong there old bean. It would seem to at least one person here, you, that I'm not that boring. You actually seem quite interested in me, is there something special between us? Got any pics?
(el perro grande, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 15:41, closed)

bollocks
I would imagine you've got a crappy McQualification from some dreadful ex-Poly, and are exaggerating for all you're worth. Your complete inability to form a coherent sentence, as demonstrated in your previous 'witty' anecdotes, argues strongly against anything more.

Some observations, from your previous postings:

1) You were a 'young wannabe punk rocker' trying to get some action, in 2001 at the earliest (dated by your shitty choice of music). Presumably - unless you're some late-starting spotty virgin - you were 15ish at the time, give or take a year or so, and thus did not at this point hold a doctorate.

2) In 2007, you had a job earning 'crappy money' (not what you'd expect from a PHd graduate), which you'd held for two years.

There is neither time between your abject failure to get action in 2001 and your commencement of employment in 2005, nor afterwards, presuming you left said employment in 2007, to gain both an undergraduate degree (three years) and a doctorate (typically, three years).

Ergo, you are a lying sack of shit.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 16:56, closed)

Imagine, presume, give or take... However you want to dress up your attempt to somehow prove I´m lying, you are wrong.

It was actually 4 years undergraduate, 4 years for a doctorate. Most (not all) people going into scientific PhD will have a masters. Given that the majority of EPSRC projects are funded for 3.5 years, very few people complete in 3 years as you have wrongly assumed. Even then there aren´t many places in the world you can get a doctorate that quickly, 3 years is a minimum. You really don´t show a good understanding of how it all works, why would you use your estimates and presumptions to conclude I´m lying?

Call me sack of shit or whatever you like, you are wrong.
(el perro grande, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 21:53, closed)

keep going...
A doctorate is three years, standard. I know this for a fact, as I have a good deal of experience in higher education. Yes, you can spin it out - most do - and yes, you an compress it, if you really have to.

That all aside - by extending the time-frame, all you achieve in respect of your 'doctorate' is to move is from 'improbable', to 'impossible'. Unless, of course, you were planning this exchange years in advance, and the dates and time you've previously given are false. Which still means,one way or another, that you're telling fibs.

Either way, you're a liar, and a fraud. How is JMU these days, Poly-boy? Does it even resemble an actual university?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 23:11, closed)

You know it for a fact? Then why is the majority of funding now offered for 3.5 or even 4 years these days? That is not three years standard is it? A very small minority finish in 3 years. Maybe that was the case when you were at uni, 3 years was the standard in the past. Of the 12 people who started their doctorate at the same time as me a grand total of one handed in their thesis on the three year mark. I also think you are forgetting that you then have to wait for a viva in order to fully complete a doctorate.

As for your reasoning based on the times of my stories, complete rubbish. The crappy money I mentioned was during my PhD, something you would have realised if you read the post I was replying to. Wrong assumptions, again. Unfortunately for you in this case repeating yourself over and over will not make what you say any more right.
(el perro grande, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 12:23, closed)

here here
touchy people these it support guys
(imallamallama looking forward to llamageddon on, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 10:36, closed)

It does strike me as being a little bit odd
that considering how many people use computers in this day and age, so few people actually have an understanding of how they work. The point and clickety nature of modern operating systems does nothing to help this. I'm not suggesting that everyone start using lynx as their main browser, but if computers are that important to you, why not invest a little time in understanding what is going on when you click on something. It's no wonder IT support people get stressed when a user's coffee cup holder has broken again.
(danceswithferrets is leaking sanity, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 14:49, closed)

I think there's a happy medium somewhere
A lot of people own cars, and I feel this is where the happy medium exists: most people can replace a tire, refill the windscreen washer fluid, check the oil etc and know not to feck the engine up by using the incorrect gear all the time. But intimate knowledge of how the car engine works is something left to the professionals.

Cars have been getting gradually easier to maintain due to blinky lights telling people the oil is low, etc too.

Hopefully as time goes on, we'll reach that state with computers - they'll be simple enough for the average person in an office job to do their thing, and people will have enough knowledge to check cables and suchlike when things stop working. You'll always get twats who think they're above that, but life isn't perfect.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 11:11, closed)

I reckon most of the people who act as though they are above checking cables, using the universal 'turn it off and back on again' and such like are usually using the act as a face saving mechanism. Too full of ego to admit they just don't know. Not just with computers, but anything. The amount of time you can save by saying to yourself 'I don't have a fucking clue here' and going and asking someone who does is immense.
(el perro grande, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 14:31, closed)

So, which are you?
Too proud to admit you don't know, in which case you're wilfully ignorant, or someone who admits they don't know, in which case you admit you need people who aren't as intelligent as you?
(the truth, of course, is that you're a plain troll or a Doctor with an inferiority complex -- but that's not as much fun)
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 18:25, closed)

I don't know why the answers continued for so long, it seems to me the first reply was spot on.
"If I hired a builder who was holding his hammer by the thick end or trying to unscrew something with a saw I would consider him unqualified to do his job, same rule applies."

If you do not understand the basics of computing, and you work in a job which relies on using computers, you are a thicko.
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 10:06, closed)

But I can't log on
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
That didn't work?
....hmmm looks like your password hash has become corrupted. I'll just reset it and see if that fixes it.... hmmm.... no, looks like the profile is corrupted... I'll just rebuild your account... Your email's gone? OK, we'll just redownload it. OK, all better now?

Why did it happen? Not sure exactly. The server must have glitched out and corrupted your profile.

True story.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 12:40, closed)

Haha!
Into the teeth of the storm!
( Zuowan, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 7:45, closed)

...?
You are taking the piss out of the IT geeks.
On B3ta.

This does not strike me as wise.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 13:56, closed)