fucking chavs. need a definition?
HKLP (holds knife like pen) scum.

Eating takeaway food on public transport

Chewing gum (admittedly I have chewed gum from time to time ergo – I am a peasant)

ASDA

Children with pierced ears

Eating crisps (see chewing gum)

Stella Artois

Restaurants with pictures of the food on their menu

Three quarter length trousers on blokes

ARGOS

Showing too much cleavage/thigh/leg or wandering around the town centre on a sunny day with no shirt

Hair ‘scrunchies’ worn around the wrist

‘Leisurewear’

Spitting

Sniffing

Lambrini

Driving around in a tarted up Nova playing drum and bass and saying ‘innit’ a lot

Football shirts

Love bites

Wearing your slippers to the shops

Asking people to remove their shoes in your house FUCK OFF this is not the 1700’s I do not have clods of fucking manure stuck to me

Smacking children

Smoking in public places (awaits flaming) and yes I used to smoke

Tracksuit bottoms tucked into socks just what is is that about

Impetigo

Tattoos

Hen nights – pissed up braying tarts, lovely

Eating in supermarket ‘canteens’

Rolling up the end of the toothpaste tubes – gladly this is a dying practice due to plastic tubes

Musical doorbells

Plastic fucking butterflies on the outside of your chavvy bastard house

Gold jewelry

Covers for phones ipods etc

Excessive Christmas decorations

Eating a donner kebab in the street

People who put harnesses on bull terriers

Eating at a Harvester ‘Pub’ - whats with the fucking wooden spoon nonsense. And i'll pay AFTER i've eaten thank you.

People who crunch ice cubes

Artex

Laminate flooring

‘settee’ it’s a sofa you fucking pleb

‘Spag Bol’

Monobloc where you used to have a lawn and now you park your Vauxhall on it

Vauxhalls

The Welsh

Fat people (see ASDA/ supermarket ‘canteens’)

Drinking from a can of lager on a train

Fluffy toys on the parcel shelf/dashboard

The vast majority of frozen food (except peas obviously)

Marrowfat peas

Americans

People who don’t like seafood – invariably scum

Bingo
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:10, 45 replies)

furthermore
carrying keys with excessive key fobs and widgets on them

wearing a shirt darker than your tie

women dancing in their bare feet

women walking home after a night at some cattlemarket in their bare feet

arguing in public

wearing a black tie to anything other than a funeral or formal occasion

pre-tied bow ties at black tie do's

put your fucking flabby midriff away woman

excessively styled hair

'popped' collars

"i aint done nuffink" and other such double negatives, split infinitives etc

car plates with an unusual font - zapf chancery all in caps - classy

getting married in a novelty setting or costume
(unless of course its a vegas elvis wedding chapel - but only if you are not american)

wearing tights with peep toe shoes

not being able to use chopsticks

... i really do have to stop
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:11, closed)

Aaaaaaaannnnnnddddd...... breathe

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:24, closed)

+ people who use 'fucking' as an adjective

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:02, closed)

spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be - I want you to be a self-rightoeus cunt.
And it seems my wants are met.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:53, closed)

Now do one about using soft recreational drugs.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:19, closed)

Fuck off, cunt.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:22, closed)

This makes you sound
like an uptight humourless asshole and a snobbish prick to boot

You can't beat a list as an answer to a QOTW(*)


(*)you can
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:26, closed)

tick to many boxes for you prof?
3rd twat on ignore
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:29, closed)

ANGRY LITTLE INTERNET MAN IS ANGRY GRRR POUND FISTS ON KEYBOARD

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:44, closed)

for once, spot on.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:51, closed)

Knob you are one
(TheManHimself Beer Drinkin', Breath Stinkin', Sniffing Glue, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 21:57, closed)

the worst thing is that it's not even an original list
just some self-important toss that's been fished out of the bin and warmed up again

see www.b3ta.com/questions/driventomadness/post1750022
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 21:54, closed)

So what else do you like about Britain?
Or is there nothing left?
(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:27, closed)

Fuck off you illiterate spastic.
ONE thing you love, and ONE thing you hate.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:35, closed)

He can't spell 'jewellery' either, which is a bit embarrassing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 13:25, closed)

Hahaha ^this
That list just reads as the pampered, snobbery of a middle-class wanker
( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 12:14, closed)

I can't see this thread ending well.
But it's no RancidRodent (mostly due to the lack of noncery, which as it doesn't appear on this list must be something he approves of)
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:43, closed)

could you put me on ignore too please.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:46, closed)

^lol

(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:48, closed)

alright
cheers
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:53, closed)

Cogito ARGOS sum

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 12:55, closed)

Having made about 3 visits in the last 15 years,
I don't remember Harvester ever requiring payment before the food arrived.

I assume you do realise that a list of this magnitude makes you out to be some sort of cunt?

Reading over it again, how is impetigo "chavvy"?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 13:02, closed)

staphylococcus aureus is a very common bacterium

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 13:59, closed)

Until now, I'd never realised just how low my standards were.
I suppose I'd better kill myself.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:23, closed)

well-spoken educated people only ever get Staphylococcus platinus
because geold is saowh orrfully valgar, y'knaow
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 18:25, closed)

And all this time I thought
chavs were people of lower socio-economic strata that insult and assault innocent people as a way to express their personal sovereignty.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 13:55, closed)

ty + Rings
(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 13:59, closed)

you can get middle-class antisocial dickheads with massive entitlement complexes too
most university towns are full of them
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 18:27, closed)

waaaaa!

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:00, closed)

You seem like an intolerant prick

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:03, closed)

18, woo!
Although the Artex isn't by choice (whoever owned my house previously thought 'decorating' was synonymous with 'cover it all in textured multicoloured shit').
( gone, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:10, closed)

I've started holding my pen like a knife
What do you say about that, hey?
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:27, closed)

Well,
Stop living in fucking Hull then if you dislike it that much.
(McChinaman banned, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 17:29, closed)

Love it!
You are in my head! I could have written all of those hahaha
(superfly78, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 17:36, closed)

One presumes that this is your vehicle, sir.

(McChinaman banned, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 17:47, closed)

Christ. Imagine how dull it must be to be you.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 17:59, closed)

this thread deserves some kind of award for services to dourness and misery
possibly made out of lead, cast into the shape of a tower block
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 18:48, closed)

Three quarter length trousers in blokes?
I always associate these with swimming coaches and paedofiles, with the further assumption that the Venn diagram shows a significant overlap.
(ubergeekian, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 18:37, closed)

People
that make lists should be used for vivisection.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 19:42, closed)

Going for the big 500, eh?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 19:46, closed)

Just remember the young offender's mum

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 21:23, closed)

Top tune!
Taken any more MASSIVE DRUGS, today?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 21:43, closed)

You forgot
People who can't read the brief.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 9 Oct 2013, 22:23, closed)

i love all that stuff too

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 8:42, closed)

Monoblocs?
They're not chavvy:

www.audioaffair.co.uk/product_4588

;-)
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Thu 10 Oct 2013, 8:54, closed)