
Rachelswipe says: My niece - after months of begging - was finally allowed to get a hamster, and her grandfather was utterly horrified to learn that it had been called "Nipples", a pretty good name for a pet if you ask us. Alas, it was only the more mundane "Nibbles" - what have you misheard or misunderstood, with truly hilarious consequences?
( , Thu 28 Aug 2014, 21:35)
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Still ... at least I don't come from the only English county that's more chippy and backwards than Cornwall.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 9:58, closed)

we were actually living in lancashire when my brother and i were born. my dad insisted that we drove back over the border to be born in halifax, so that "one day we could play cricket for yorkshire".
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:02, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:04, closed)

but if yorkshire had been its own country, it would have come 11th in the olympic medal table at 2012.
suck on that, mill-boy.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:06, closed)

only you and Australia have such a dearth of culture and achievement that you base your self-worth on playing games
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:11, closed)

in reality we were just on the border and halifax was the nearest big maternity ward. even if a man would really make his wife drive for 3 hours whilst having the vaginal equivalent of an orange being yanked out of her nostril, what wife would put up with it?
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:15, closed)

No we wouldn't, we were there at one point during the games but had dropped out of the top 20 come the final medal table.
You can't be a proper Yorkshirist unless you get the smug, self congratulatory pedantry right...
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:43, closed)

some people think that the lancy tudors won the wars of the roses. those people are FOOLS.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:47, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:16, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:29, closed)

but I can affirm we'd rather be caught wanking in the school playground than be associated with a third-world county like yours.
And don't even get me started on Cheshire.
( , Sat 30 Aug 2014, 21:29, closed)

A pair of backward northern monkeys arguing over which patch of shitty irrelevant wasteland is shitter.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:06, closed)

just because us monkeys waddle down here and take all your jobs and houses
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:12, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:19, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 10:24, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:02, closed)

It was a humourous reference to one of last weeks answers.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:08, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:12, closed)

You don't.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:15, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:17, closed)

When you look from genuinely desirable places in the south-east
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:20, closed)

i wonder why...
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:28, closed)

unless its general un-focused upset
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:36, closed)

is a sheaf of noise meter readings for a high court claim.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:01, closed)

it's not like it inevitably comes top of quality of life surveys and best employer polls
Mnnnnnng.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:25, closed)

Outside the colleges, the place is a fucking hell-hole. I was lucky to get out without being stabbed.
But don't get upset. I'm sure the council estate you live on is LOVELY.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:33, closed)

Is it the mating call of an upset retard?
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:00, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:15, closed)

This is where I live
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 11:45, closed)

you couldn't buy a shoebox in town, love.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:01, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:03, closed)

tenants rent
also, wimbledon? hardly the royal borough.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:05, closed)

I bow to your greater expertise of the property sector.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:13, closed)

internet victory. most important and pointful of all the victories.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:22, closed)

walking to the corner shop to buy sticky and almost out-of-date battenburg slices must be so much more fulfilling
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:05, closed)

I genuinely don't get it. Who is the audience?
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:09, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:10, closed)

I'm sorry this makes you sad. I buy their beer too.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:17, closed)

but the beer thing makes you sound a bit... rapey.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:18, closed)

and invites them round his house so they can use his playstation.
He's been doing it for years. All the local parents warn their kids not to go near him.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:24, closed)

Secretly they must be pleased that their dick dad steers clear of them.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:51, closed)

but this ... this is just totally fucking unacceptable on a public messageboard
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:10, closed)

i have duly peeled it off the outside. the inside is... ok. bit soggy.
mr kipling angel slices are much better.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:14, closed)

but the cartesian symmetry appeals to my inner autism.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:19, closed)

but it doesn't have an inversion centre.
Unless the cakes I consume conform to certain symmetry operations, my family will die.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:28, closed)

it comes in paper bags that are so impregnated with syrup that you have to prise them off the counter
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:34, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 14:40, closed)

Some poor cunts are probably expecting tins of spaghetti hoops and getting organic spelt.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 15:40, closed)

best places to live.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2582467/Skipton-North-Yorkshire-named-best-place-live-Britain.html
No point linking the Sunday Times, as I am sure you don't pay the online subscription.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:09, closed)

( , Sat 30 Aug 2014, 11:41, closed)

I'm moving there immediately.
( , Sat 30 Aug 2014, 13:35, closed)

You might get a bit of shock though - it's not midlands council estate prices here.
I suppose there's Help to Buy.
( , Sun 31 Aug 2014, 10:07, closed)

dunno if you're serious or throwing a marshmallow but that looks about as attractive a prospect as a holiday in Miami in rainy season
( , Sun 31 Aug 2014, 11:39, closed)

You are deluded about where you live. I can't blame you, I would be too if I had to live there.
( , Sun 31 Aug 2014, 13:56, closed)

450k buys you a four bedroom detached in Godawful or a two-up-two-down terrace in Cambridge.
mmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnng!
( , Sun 31 Aug 2014, 14:14, closed)

Detached house Zed index (Cambridge): £488,334
Detached house Zed index (Godalming): £827,125
But don't let that stop you getting defensive about the value of your shabby ex-council semi.
( , Sun 31 Aug 2014, 14:26, closed)

This is the first detached house in that list that's actually in Cambridge and not one of the surrounding commuter villages:
m.zoopla.co.uk/home-values/browse/cambridgeshire/cambridge/#/home-values/trumpington/barrow-road/
( , Sun 31 Aug 2014, 14:29, closed)

it's your choice to live in a dreary commuter village with nothing but country pubs and the local Am Dram society to entertain you ... I'm sure the quantity surveyor and bank manager neighbours have some fascinating anecdotes while you're all waxing your Volvos on a Sunday morning
( , Sun 31 Aug 2014, 14:47, closed)

www.surreylife.co.uk/out-about/places/godalming_where_to_eat_shop_and_visit_1_1644637
( , Sun 31 Aug 2014, 14:26, closed)

Here's another crap place in a crap survey if that makes you feel better about your subhuman hovel www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/ten-best-places-to-live-in-the-uk-solihull-comes-top-8938636.html?action=gallery&ino=1
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:21, closed)

to appear like I'm not just obsessed with him.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:34, closed)

I'd be eligible to play. The fact that I'm a slightly shit cricketer only enhances my claim.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:09, closed)

Call yourself a Yorkshire lass, FFS.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:15, closed)

i was born there, but i never lived there, i got dragged off down south and then back up to cheshire and then back down south... i'm like a poor little waif and stray :(
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 12:17, closed)

it's very pretty and you've got manchester in one direction and the peak district in the other... what's not to like?
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 13:36, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 13:41, closed)

You could be scouse
Eating rats in your council house
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 13:45, closed)

Your dad's in the nick,
You can't get a job,
'cause you're too fucking thick.
( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 15:33, closed)

You find a dead rat and you think
( , Sat 30 Aug 2014, 14:54, closed)

( , Fri 29 Aug 2014, 13:41, closed)
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