I got a moment of very mild pleasure from glancing across these answers and noting what worthless lives you all have.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 13:13, 3 replies)

Last
That little shiver you get as you finish doing a wee.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 13:01, Reply)

Singh

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 12:36, 3 replies)

singe

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 12:22, Reply)

ninj

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 12:22, Reply)

cringe

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 12:19, Reply)

orange

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 12:15, Reply)

whinge

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 12:12, Reply)

ginge

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 12:11, Reply)

fringe

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 11:59, Reply)

minge

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Coming LAST

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 11:18, Reply)

I like spelling things wrong to upset pedents.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 9:18, 7 replies)

Speed bump
The road near my house is straight and flat with a 50km/30mph speed limit. It's tempting to speed, but I know that there are kids on bikes, walkers, dogs, rabbits, pheasants and even sometimes deer. Last night there was a BMW right up my exhaust pipe, obviously frustrated. Eventually he'd had enough and overtook me, just as we got to a speed bump. He'd accelerated to go past me, so hit the bump with a bang and bounced over it. As he sped off into the distance a big chunk of something fell of his car, and I could see sparks flying as something metallic dragged along the road behind me. Poetic justic, I thought.
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 8:18, 9 replies)

Having an 82 million litre salt water pool
Gives me much joy also
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 7:30, 1 reply)

Most days
When I fight Mr. T and make him cry and beg for mercy which I won't give until he licks own ball sack (well flexible that Mr. T is) and then go home and have an eightsome with all the super model girls that just hang around my place and want me to be their boy friend and then I remember that I am welll hard.


Such joy.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 30 Jan 2014, 7:27, Reply)

One of my favourite moments of joy,
Telling the waiter it is not cool to touch the wine bottle to my glass. Managerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 23:29, 3 replies)

Last Sunday walking the dog,
there was bracing wind, dramatic Turner skies, loads of birds flocking about overhead, and when we were only five steps from the car it started to chuck it down with rain. "YES!!!" went both me and the dog.

Oh, and that feeling of taking your socks off when you get home after a rave.
( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 17:36, 2 replies)

Just heard this
God if she sang it just for me

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8elWF31oQCA
(roysin, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 17:14, Reply)

Jimmy Savile always used to go on about how much he disliked children
Just sayin'
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 15:27, 18 replies)

That moment
when a child realises that Santa doesn't exist.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 14:58, 5 replies)

Just a "handful" of things that made me smile recently.
- A huge giant poster for Robocop in my local cinema.
- "figuring out" ghost notes on my bass.
- Having enough hot chocolate powder in the tub for a cup!
- Finding Dan Reed Network's Ritual on YouTube.
- Looking forward to some Singapore Chow Mein from the Chinese.
(Mitchell Gant, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 14:22, 1 reply)

Raindrops on roses
dog fingering mods'es
Aussies in meltdown
People with Downs

These are a few of my favourite things

when the Accord bites
when the Liemallows
something something lah lah lah lah TDS
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 13:57, 9 replies)

Joy at the misery of others, I serve you a pea....

Several years ago I took a few days break to visit Byron Bay on the North Coast of New South Wales. As the sun was setting I was sitting down near the beach when some young, what would described in Britain as Chavs but what we wIould refer to in Oz as bogan scum bags where playing a game of car jumping in the beach front car park.

For the uninformed this involves someone driving the car at a reasonable pace, around 20 or 30 km/h, in a straight line while someone runs at the car head on, jumps on to the bonnet, then the roof, then the boot and off the back.

I will admit that some of these guys weren't too bad at the pointless game.

There was one young bloke, the loudest, wankiest, pants around his knees, wearing jeans on a 35 degree day, pathetic haircut, young fuck knuckle of the group and he was up for his turn.

Although I can't actually remember it lets say for the sake of the story it was a poo brown Honda Accord, and quite possibly driven by Mr. T and as had happened a dozen or so times before, the aforementioned greatest disappointment possible from an orgasm, started his run towards the car, and as he took his first leap on to the bonnet got tangled in his own pants causing him to stuff up the take off and have his legs swept from under him and subsequently upended by the Honda, bounced off the roof head first and landed in a crumpled heap behind the car.

A complete totach!

Oh, how I laughed. As I trotted over to take a closer look at the fallen dick head, who was bleeding from his face, but, not in the copious amounts one would expect, then I saw his leg. Most legs run up and down from the hip to foot but, this leg now had a 90 degree bend at the knee, sideways. I almost wet my pants from laughter.

I think one of his vacant compatriots summed the situation up best when he said as his mate lay there possibly about to die,

"fuck man, I wish I had videoed that"
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 13:23, 3 replies)

Dipping my feet in the sea
When your feet are hot and stuffy, and you wander down to the beach, roll your trouser legs up and remove socks and shoes, then go and stand on the edge of the sea so the waves just roll over your feet. Utterly blissful.
It's even worth getting sand in your socks for!
(teasus likes tea, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 12:37, 5 replies)

Alarm
My alarm goes off at 6.10. This morning I woke up, hoping it was around 2, but decided to check my phone for the time. It was 6.09.
( Lord & Lady Pants, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 11:02, 9 replies)

Last September I woke up one Thursday morning hungover, tired, fed up, didn't want to go to work ...
... and then remembered it was Saturday.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 29 Jan 2014, 10:03, 10 replies)

All these Kit-Kat stories reminded me of the time I persuaded a thick queer to
test the melting times of various chocolate bars when placed up his arse. The kit-Kat is by far the quickest to melt.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 20:49, 9 replies)

a lady I was rather taken with a couple of months ago
sent me a text today saying she had just discovered she had chlamydia and that I should seek out the local sexual heath clinic
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 20:06, 2 replies)