What
is your favourite song?

I tend to flit between a few. at the moment I think it might be Echoes by Pink Floyd, although Funky Tonight by John Butler Trio is sitting at a close second.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 14:05, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A poem wot I rote while waiting for the QOTW to change

Question of the week;
Can we have a peek?
Will it make us shriek?
Or does this one just reek?

Is this week's unique?
Or is it just antique?
If it is I'll shriek!
And in my pants I'll leak.

Question of the week;
Has it reached its peak?
Do we get to speak
‘bout trips to Mozambique.

What is it we seek?
Better prose technique?
Meeting with the clique?
Or in search of critique?

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 13:25, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

...
Inspired by enzyme's post below...

As if Peter Andre wasn't enough, I just LOST THE GAME!


ha!



(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 13:09, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

People ask this every year, but...
I'm going to Leeds Festival, and we're buying food individually - too many people have too many food issues.

Anyway, what should I take with me?

I was thinking bacon, beans, pot noodles, dried fruit, some sort of bread, and biscuits.

Any other suggestions?

Edit: by the way, I've been before, but I'm trying to be more self-sufficient this year and not get fleeced at the food stalls.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 12:20, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

...
I currently have "Mysterious Girl" by Peter Andre going around my head. I've no idea why.

But I don't see why I should be the only one to have to suffer it. Hopefully I've infected a couple of you now. HA!

*drums fingers on desk while waiting for new QotW*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 11:46, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A Top tip has just reminded me
my brother's girlfriend's boss had hiccups for 5 days last week.

5 days!

fucking horrible!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 11:23, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF B3TA!
For your viewing pleasure, beckyjsbx and Madam Marlboro productions present the long await revenge sequel


THE MELANCHOLY TALE OF BERT MONKEYSEX




With special thanks to Kes.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 10:00, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thursday Morning
Good morning everyone, and a thoroughly fluffy Thursday to you all from a significantly less windy and wet Hong Kong!


(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 4:58, 105 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

People on here
I thank you for saving my sanity. Might crumble again tomorrow - touch wood - but for now I thank you so very very much.

Off to bed now.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 2:37, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I think
Pensioners should be banned from normal supermarkets, and have their own little versions, where they can push in at their own will.

Thing is, they'd keep pushing in front of each other, until they finally starve to death, unable to get served because some grey haired cunt has shoved in front of them.

Ultimately, this would result in some kind of Logan's Run situation, and if this means we're going to see 70's era Jenny Agutter with her norks for all to see, then that's not necessarily a bad thing, is it.

Edit: Yes, I did get 'pensionered' in the queue at ASDA today.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 0:36, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

bloody myspace
If anyone knows how to set the padding on a profile box on a myspace music page (the table differs from that of a normal myspace page, that much I know) without fecking up all the other boxes, please for the love of god share it with me cos I've been hacking the fuck out of the damn page all evening and the 'genre' line of text is annoying the hell out of me and I refuse to go to bed until it's fixed. And I'm hungover.

And IE6 is shit. As is all IE. Damn inconsistency bollix.

Oh, um, hi. Hope you're all fluffeh and lovleh. Bah.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 23:48, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

what the fuck?
My radio has just spent the last minute broadcasting Radio 5 live about twice as fast as it should be, everyone is very high pitched.

Shit!! the Goat was right, tinfoil hats at the ready and off to the chaos bunkers, the world is going to end!

Anyone else had some odd shit happen today?
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 21:24, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

B3ta Meet Polo Shirts!
Right everyone, as per here:

www.b3ta.com/features/phalliclogoawards/

The one above the big yellow Pontins one, 'PTC' has generously donated about 20 - 25 of their polo shirts to me for my charity event I did earlier this year, and I can distribute at my mini-bash in London here:

www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/15559

So anyone who fancies one (have both black with white logo, and white with blue logo), let me know and I'll bring some with me.

Gaz me if you want a pic of them, if you're pretty, then I might provide a pic of me modelling it.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 21:06, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right
I got Napoleon Dynamite out of Blockbuster land last night, as everyone had said it was absolutely brilliant, that I had to watch it, and that it was the best thing to come out of cinema for years. Imagine my suprise when it started out as total and utter monkey wank, and continued in this fashion until I made it stop an hour later. Is it just me and my other half who found it an complete and utter waste of our lives, or are there other people out there who agree?

Thank you for your time.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 20:26, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mini bash peoples
I've updated the calendar to ask where we want to go on Friday. Finsbury park itself is massive, so do we want to go hang out in the park if it's nice weather still or go straight to the Old Dairy? Clendrix has been lovely and given directions on calendar post :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 19:30, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ban them from public transport.
Who? Pensioners, that's who!

Went shopping in town today with my eldest. Would rather have pulled out my eyelashes individually, but "school stuff" must be purchased before the little blighters go back.

We got what we went for (as well as soaked 'cos it's pissing down!) and hopped on the bus to come home.

It was fairly busy but my daughter and I got a seat downstairs. We got three stops and the bus went from "fairly busy" to "packed to the roof". Two elderly women got on and we, being polite well-mannered young ladies (no, really!) stood up to give them the seat.

Did they thank us? Did they buggery fuck. No they did not.

One of them looked us up and down and sneered (and I mean sneered),

"I should think so too. We're entitled to these seats, you know. We're pensioners."

Now I don't know about where you guys live, but here in Edinburgh killing pensioners on the bus is rather frowned upon. So I didn't. I was sorely tempted, but I didn't. I turned the other cheek (actually, I exchanged raised eyebrows and rolled eyes with my daughter and said none of what was racing through my head). But she wasn't finished. Oh, no.

"My taxes paid for your education you know," she announced to me from the comfort of the nice warm seat I'd given her. More raised eyebrows between my daughter and I. Eyes were rolled (it's amazing how far they can roll on a moving bus!) but a dignified silence was maintained.

"I said, my taxes paid for your education, you know. In case you didn't hear me, since you didn't bother to respond," quoth the old bat in the see-through rain hat. To whom I was determined not to give the satisfaction of an answer.

My beloved, wonderful, intelligent and resourceful daughter then proved that she is, indeed, TheWeeWitch's progeny.

With a completely straight face, she announced,

"I'm very sorry madam, but I'm afraid we don't understand you." Only she said it in French. Which I can't spell. So I've typed it in English, which I can spell (mostly). A lady sitting behind them very kindly told the old ladies what my daughter had said, adding for good measure, "I think they're French."

The old bat's face was redder than a very very red thing. My daughter and I then had to stand all the way home, not saying a word, stifling our laughter, until the old buggers got off. At the stop before ours.

We're still chuckling now, some time later.

I am a very proud mummy, let me tell you.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 6 Aug 2008, 18:18, 20 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Evening one and all
I saw some jellyfish today.
However none of them were buying tents in Millets.

What haven't you seen sealife doing today?

( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 6 Aug 2008, 18:11, 187 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

for those not sick of my bathroom saga, here is the latest:
the plumber has been in today and finished off his work.

nothing leaks
the shower is hot as hell and twice as powerful
the towel radiator isn't going to fall of the wall as I had feared, it looks good and works a treat.

yay for having hot water again, and for all bathroom related fears to have disappeared!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 14:35, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just landed in the UK
After setting out at 6:30am spanish time.
There was a total for 5 hours delay from the supposed take off time to actual take off time.

Pissed off? Just a bit.

*sigh*
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 14:06, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Goat's predictions
Glutton for punishment idiocy that I am, I've been looking at The Goat's profile. I noticed this:



Given his penchant for back-editing, I thought it might be useful to have a cached screenshot. Just so that, in October, we can ask him exactly what planned chaos he foresaw...

If he's right, I'll... well, what kind of forfeit should I undertake?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 12:04, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Things that cheer you up
I feel hungover and rather annoyed. Had a blazing row with my girlfriend who is clearly insane. I can fully qualify her insanity with actual events should anyone care to listen. Still, she has a magic pussy. It keeps drawing me in.

So, yes, things that cheer you up. Links, stories, little thoughts etc are welcome.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 11:58, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

We interrupt this cozy and fluffy board to bring you a rant
As some of you know, I had an interview on Monday for a promotion at work. Well, I say interview – it was a range of activities including a 10 minute presentation followed by an interview, a one hour written exercise on how I would save the world, and a 40 minute role playing exercise consisting of me finding a nice way to say to a colleague “stop being a cunt and sort the mess out that you’ve created. Please”.

Anyhow, usual procedure in these cases is to let the candidates know on the day how they’ve done. There were two of us in for it. Or so we thought.

It actually transpires that we can’t be told anything because there was a third internal candidate, who didn’t turn up. This person has a special arrangement where she only works term time, because of childcare responsibilities. Fair enough, I’m all for flexible working patterns. However, what I object to is the fact that she was notified of the interview, but opted to just not turn up on the day, citing ‘childcare’ as the reason. In fact, I don’t even think she rang in before hand – HR appear to have just realised that she should have been there and wasn’t, and have eventually got in contact with her.

The result is that she’s threatening to get the union involved if she’s not given a chance to go through the assessment process, citing her current position as being ‘at risk’ as the reason. This has the knock on effect that I, and my colleague, are being kept in the dark until this is sorted. Which may be next week, or it may be September.

My problem is this: If you are a reasonably intelligent person, put yourself forward for a job and are invited to an interview, which presumably you accept; if you then fail to turn up on the day shouldn’t this automatically cunt you in the fuck? Especially if you fail to notify HR that you can’t attend for whatever reason? Doesn’t this demonstrate a lack of professionalism on your part? And if childcare was the issue, then THERE’S A FUCKING CRECHE JUST ACROSS THE BLOODY ROAD YOU DOZY COW!

Sorry for rant, I’m just sick of being pissed around.


As you were, peeps. Cakes and kittums all round.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Aug 2008, 11:34, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is it just me
But whenever I hear the name "Gordon Brown", I sing "Texture like sun..." To myself - nobody else knows.

I am well aware that this is clearly showing my age, but it keeps me happy (inside)
(conanow, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 8:40, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)