Who wants free shower gel?
www.squishedfull.co.uk/

I just applied and am getting one sent to me now :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 10:22, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hi Guys,

Looks like you lot have all been busy bees this weekend.

I've a busy week ahead but will try to catch up by the end of the week.

The way things are looking, I may well virtually abandon the regular, boring QOTW in favour of this fine, new institution.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 9:59, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

G'morning!
I'm just reporting in that my new job seems to be b3ta-friendly, and not that busy.
( Cawl, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 9:33, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Seeing as I seem to be here first
Let me open my doors today and invite you in.


( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 9:32, 289 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Nearly happy b3ta birthday to me...
'tis 2 days to my b3ta birthday. Nearly a year of unending drivel, swearing and, erm, other stuff... Doesn't time fly?

Have some cake everyone...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Jul 2008, 0:34, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Counting Crows are Quite Simply the Best Band... EVER!
That is all I have to say. I fear a large headache tomorrow! :)

Alright all?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 23:40, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

oooh, how coy!
Reading the rapid decent into pr0n below reminded me that I wrote an 'erotic' story for a bloke I was having a rather torrid and pointless fling with a few years back.

Lo and behold, I still have it on my 'puter. I opened it up to re-read, and was amused to discover that I had felt it necessary to asterix out the rude words, as in 'c**t', 'c**k' etc.

It strikes me as fairly ridiculous to be so fricking coy with someone I was boffing in hotel rooms on a regular basis.
(G-Lo, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:49, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

'Nice'
Erotica... after having been referred to as 'a dirty horrid boy' and a 'sick puppy' (although these make me immensely proud) I gave 'nice' pron a go.

Erm, it is a bit long though. I don't seem to be able to be nice in 500 words. Twisted yes, nice, no.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 20:11, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cringe-worthy erotica
I just thought I'd share with you my first attempt at writing erotica. I wrote this nearly 7 years ago. It's amusing, but as far as erotica goes, it makes me cringe when I read it.

I wrote this when I was corresponding with someone on an Internet Dating site. We were discussing wet legs and how we were to dry them. This caused me to get out my erotic pen and scribble down this story. When I sent it, I never got a reply back (which probably says something about the story you're about to read).

Enjoy (the story's in the first reply).
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:47, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

can it be fluffeh tiem now plzkthx
Just because I feel like sharing pics of fluffeh beasts from work. Feel free to add your own.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:18, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OK, here goes
Segments in reply folks.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:12, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Would anyone object
if I posted a really lengthy tale?
I've got 11 pages of A4 handwritten that I hope you would enjoy and I would like to share it.
I could do it in installments like Dickens!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 16:54, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

short story in reply
might have slightly broken the 500 word thing, sorry!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:45, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello?


I'm not sure if anyone's around, so I thought I'd set up a new home.
( thealternativefact, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:38, 291 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Happy Sundays
I wish I had more time to read all the stories that have been posted here this weekend. What I have read so far is excellent; even Zapiola's brilliantly twisted pieces. I think I maybe a little less than constructive at work tomorrow...

Anyway, here's a short piece that I've refined from something I started writing a while ago (loosely based in fact), that seemed to be going nowhere, until the "Tales of..." topic gave me some inspiration.

In the reply.
( Moey, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 15:09, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My cockateil is so fecking 'hard
that she eats rape for breakfast.

That is all.

(rape- canola seed)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 14:48, Reply)

Just to say thank you to everyone .
I have had lots of fun reading everyone's stories and even writing my own.
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:56, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Poor old Mark Webber.
First ever Red Bull front row, and 2 corners in he spins.

Masa just span too.

But Hamilton got a blistering start...

EDIT: And DC's out.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:05, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fluffeh fluffeh kittehs
I try to write pron. This is what happens.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:01, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Since we seem to be in an erotica phase at the moment
here's a bit for you.

Maybe.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 13:00, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Now *this* is creepy.
Posted in replies as usual...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Jul 2008, 12:57, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

532 words
and probably a little shit... but meh.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 12:21, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all
how is everyone today?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 10:56, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh well!
If K2K6 is brave enough to have a go then here is mine.

Nothing to do with this weeks qotw but it does have the word fear in it several times.

It's a lot longer than 500 words but I couldn't think where to cut it.
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 8:26, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A short Tale of the Unexplained
By Kaol, age 22 and a half.

Story in reply, as seems to be the Done Thing.
( Cawl, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 3:48, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)