As Fister asked me what's new, I shall tell you
On Saturday, and again yesterday, I had my back doors smashed in. Literally, we were burgled Saturday and they had another (unsuccessful) bash yesterday. Back door was FUCKED. What real-life instances are euphemistically appropriate to you? Has Kroney ever actually dropped some kids off at the pool, for example?

Alt: I've lost a stone so far this year. Amazing what can happen if you quit drinking, eat less and exercise more. What have you lost?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 10:09, 14 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I saw a mini feature thing on Django Unchained and despite Tarantino* being one of the biggest pricks ever
I want to see it. So that's TWO films in a single year that I think look good.

What do YOU think looks good?

*people like me who are really into 'film' always call actors and directors by their surnames. It's what we do, yeah?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 8:41, 195 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So, National Lottery tickets are going up to £2.00 each
A tax on the stupid, a chance for high street bookies to take advantage or a sensible move to make those on a limited income review their squandering?

Alt; Something about something else.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 20:29, 46 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

u good?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 18:15, 223 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

FUCKIN' 'ELL MUST I DO EVERYTHING?
So Solid Crew are reforming! What would you like to resurrect from the past?

alt: fuck off and die yeah?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 15:22, 112 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

This thread is designed to do Chompy's head in.
NEWSLINK*:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21040026

What was the first record/cassette/CD/cassingle you bought and do you still have it?

*to a really gay article
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 13:41, 188 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

The MP for vauxhall in London, in the wake of this helicopter crash has said "the river is the motorway for helicopters"
What the Fuck does that mean?

I just had a guy bring the pub and, without introducing himself or anything just said "got any jobs mate?" and when I said no, no he just hung up. Chances are he's one of those benefit scroungers making no effort. Tell me a story about you applying for a job. Try and at least make it vaguely interesting.

Alt: what is your favourite?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jan 2013, 12:05, 181 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

They eat horses don't they?!
So it seems meat processing plants in Ireland aren't cleaned properly, and as a result people are in uproar at eating another animal other than the cow.

What's the worst thing you've had in your mouth?


Alt. I'm due an upgrade for my phone soon. Which should I get and why? Are you happy with your mobile device?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 11:03, 116 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Rev Fister suggested that the TV program he thinks of when he thinks of me is "Mastermind"
suggest a TV program that best describes another B3tan.

alt: I got kicked out of bed for twitching last night, what annoying habits do you have?

altalt: What IS that on your forehead?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 10:14, 123 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Dzien; dobry z Polski. Jego zimne ponownie. Nic dziwnego. Przynajmniej jest sroda, tak w kierunku koniec tygodnia. *
As a teenager, I got in to more than my fair share of trouble and got away with hardly any of it. What childhood misbehaviour did you manage to hide from your parents?

Alt: I recommend that Alan kills himself today. What do you recommend another B3tan does?

EDIT: Anyone who has a ‘candleday’ today has the intelligence quotient of a cockroach and has an unhealthy sexually deviant interest in small Thai boys.

* I don’t speak a word of this stupid language, so yes I used Babelfish. What of it? Here is the English version for you: Good morning from Poland. It’s cold again. Unsurprisingly. At least it is Wednesday, so heading towards the end of the week.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 16 Jan 2013, 8:01, 159 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Pricks?
Or not pricks?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Jan 2013, 20:34, 53 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Oh wow.
Face space are going to make some sort of announcement.

What will it be?

Alt. Most underwhelmed you've ever been?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Jan 2013, 18:39, 56 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Party essentials
The bff and I are planning a shared birthday party, and this is the first party I've ever planned I think.
What do you feel is a necessity for your shindigs?
Must have foods? Drinks? Themes?

Alt Worst party idea you've had
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Jan 2013, 16:33, 102 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

NOO THRED
clothes maketh the man. discuss.

My finger feels better after i got the scab off, how does your finger feel?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Jan 2013, 15:14, 239 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

New Thread time
So, Christians are deluding themselves that this mornings victory and pitiful compensation payout to the mong faced air hostess means that they are within their rights to be bigoted despite the other three cases being rejected out of hand.

What do you think ought to be done about people wearing crosses and refusing to marry gay people and why doesn't it apply to the muslims with their ray guns and sheets on the head?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Jan 2013, 13:41, 195 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

look it's a new thread!
I just got shit for something that wasn't my fault. When did you last get in trouble? Was it your fault or are you an innocent man?

Alt: Who is looking forward to the 6 nations? I certainly am.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Jan 2013, 11:47, 173 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So, Battered is going down the pan.
Why should Battered kill himself?

Alt: Give Battered a reason for living

Altalt: TV has hit a new low in a lifetime of lows, with new series 'Utopia' starting tonight. As I understand it, the premise for the programme is that a mythical graphic novel is behind some crazy goings-on. Can you actually believe someone commissioned such a whopping heap of shit? I can, because TV execs are cunts, as are the viewing public. As is you and all you hold dear. Just fuck off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Jan 2013, 9:11, 333 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So, HMV is going down the pan.
I have many happy memories of buying records and tapes in the big HMV in Oxford St. Then dropping down in to Soho to buy some grumble mags. A couple of hours in Foyles in the military section. Ah! shopping ain't what it used to be.

Tell us what was better back in the old days.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Jan 2013, 7:56, 88 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright OT what's happening?
haha yeah like I'll get a response
( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 15 Jan 2013, 0:17, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Harters is a massive bender and an internet weirdo to boot.
Discuss.

Alt: Jeff, this thread is for you, ask an alt.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 22:22, 67 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright fuckos
what's new?
keeping up with your resolutions?
developed any new theories? diseases? recipes?

alt best thing to happen thus far in 2013
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 19:13, 129 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Useless shit you've bought
What pointless gadgets etc have you got cluttering up your loft/garage/kitchen etc? Still using that George Foreman Grill/Tassimo coffee maker/steam cleaning mop etc...?

Tell the class about your knobbish shopping errors so we don't make the same mistakes as you, you stupid fucking wanker.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 16:26, 151 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

January Thrift
Lets face it - everyone is skint in January. Tell us your money saving tips

Alt:
Stupidest thing you've done this year
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 15:09, 213 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Stunned needs to be careful at work:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21013103

If you were sacked, what would you say to people? Would you tell them the truth?

Alt: best way to resign?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 13:37, 6 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Thread deletion is worse than Whisky chat
Discuss
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 12:30, 151 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Good morning, citizens of Waqqquistan.
Good weekend? Mine was great! I saw my kid, had loads of fun with her and gave her Xmas gifts at last.

Hang on, no. The other one. Stood outside her house fruitlessly ringing the doorbell and then trudged dejectedly home. Later on I went to see some ice sculptures at Canary Wharf - they were fucking rubbish and looked like nothing so much as gigantic recreations of foul gift-shop tat. I was expecting to see a ten-foot pewter dragon holding a 'jewel' or a ceramic shepherdess. Bizarrely it was hugely popular, with massive queues.

Good week ahead? I do hope so!

I'm having to keep a diary for the first time in my life. Were you a teenage diarist in your youth? If so, I bet you have a 'blog'. I hate you, you self-important lackwit. According to the paper this morning 80% of teenage girls keep a diary. Surely that's bollocks as at least 60% of them are illiterate.

Alt: Do be quiet, there's a dear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Jan 2013, 8:23, 88 replies, latest was 12 years ago)