Out of the blue
I got a multimedia message from someone I'd not heard from for years a couple of days ago. It was a brief mobile phone clip of a little brown man getting caught fucking a donkey and running off. Rather amusing but an odd way to break silence after such a long time, I thought.

What last surprised you*?

*apart from discovering that Bonzo has an unhealthy interest in everyone's bollocks
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:40, 272 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Plans for today?
On pc all day me, when get home, business plan anf cash projection stuff, whoopee. When did you last feel like saying whoopee?
Alt, Blackout lst night, any good? Just saw few bits.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 8:01, 121 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Can we just confirm that Al is a cunt?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 23:49, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

BATTERED IS A PRICK
Alt: BATTERED IS A PRICK
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 22:37, 70 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Just bin outside for a smoke, it's bastard freezing
Heat or cold?
Alt, The samba drummers are practising too, I might go home, the pub is no friend of mine tonight. Whatif anything has irked you about this evening?
Altalt, I've got the first Xmas party email, from my ex-workplace. Have you got anything Krismissy yet?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 19:46, 288 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Early evening still at work, all the Placids have gone home thread.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 17:12, 178 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Hey guys!!! GUYS!!!! It's me Naked Ape off the internet
I will have a new job soon and I might not be around much, so why not gather together here and remember the good times eh?

alt: Collections, did you ever collect anything, stamps, beer mats, guitars, stds?

altalt: piss play?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 14:42, 229 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Hey guys!!! GUYS!!! over here!!!!!!
It's me, you know, me - Monty? Yeah that's right, off the internet.

How about this for a story:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11753050

Despite making rubbish records he comes across as alright, I think. He's self-deprecating and knows only too well that he only sells to blobbing birds.

Who else is alright that you wouldn't expect?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 13:16, 167 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Following on from Battered's request
Lunch?

Alt: Good weekend?

AltAlt: Best film you've seen this year?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 11:47, 164 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Celebrities.
Following on from Monty’s latest name drop…

I’ve had an argument with Ainsley Harriot, made a TV advert with Courtney Cox and even gave Linda Robson directions once.

What celebrity interactions have YOU had?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 10:22, 232 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

What is this? Shit thread day?
Well far be if for me not jump on a bandwagon. Speaking of which when was the last time YOU jumped on or off of a moving vehicle?

Is that the kind of level of shit dullness we're aiming for today you fucks?

You want an Alt. Well you aint fucking getting one cos I've got a sore head and just reading the first two letters of your pathetic usernames makes me want to fucking puke and smash my face into the puke stained carpet repeatedly until I get fucking brain damamge and hopefully forget I ever signed up for this fucking place.

Alt: When did you last make a cayke? Was it nyommy?

Altalt: Call someone a cunt or something.

EDIT: someone Mince
EDIT 2: Mince Windy Pig

Altaltalt: Outside of dangling a piece of string in front of him or playing some extreme 'peek-a-boo' how would you keep all round flid and knob-jockey 'Windy Pig, y'know, from the internet' entertained? I'd start by cunting him in the fuck.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:43, 120 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

That's quite bad. And confusing.
What's confused you recently?
Alt, what's been bad recrntly?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:16, 14 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

In what isn't a euphemism but probably should be..
...I have to take my mum to the vet's this morning to have the cat put down.

What are YOU doing that isn't a euphemism, but could be?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 8:14, 14 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Y'seee da ting is theres a significant period of that nigth I have no recollection of whatsoever
There was this short fella and we were drinking cloudy cider in this posh looking pub, might've been a bank in the past. I needed to pee as the last time I'd gone had been at these plastic outdoor jobbies near whitehall, so we had to take a photie obvs. So I still needed to pee as this is after the plastic jobbie and having broken da seal I was pissing like a racehorse and the cloudy cider wasn't helping, so I went tot he toilets.

When was the last time you had a pee?
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 23:46, 10 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'm cooking roast beef. Just for me.
Tell me of your recent gluttony.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 20:05, 85 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

That was always going to be a shit thread, so here is a less shit thread
I believe in miracles baby, I believe in you dadadaddaddddddaaaaa
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g26e89xV1HU
What do you believe in?

Alt: Sherbet Lemons, I’m partial to Rhubarb & Custards, what are the best sweets ever?

Alt:alt: If you had the day of tomorrow and you could do anything what would you do?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:42, 165 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I could really enjoy eating a few sherbet lemons.
But I don't have any and I can't be arsed to go to the shops.

Most noncey looking television detective?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 18:17, 21 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

NEW THREAD
Who's the nonciest male nurse you know?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 17:53, 7 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

NEW THREAD.
Who's the rapiest person you know?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 17:37, 16 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Don't know what to do with my Sunday

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sun 8 Sep 2013, 10:18, 148 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Oi Oi Savaloy
I can’t be arsed to wade through that thread
Sound off like you’ve got a pair
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 7 Sep 2013, 21:27, 58 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'm looking forward to christmas now... I'm gonna do a christmas dinner and watch muppets christmas carol tonight.
OH BOY

alright?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 7 Sep 2013, 17:41, 176 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

laughing my head off
www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/News/Man-74-shampoos-genitals-on-Bedford-bus-after-having-issues-with-his-briefs-20130903121453.htm

well worth a read....
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Sat 7 Sep 2013, 11:58, 149 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Morning, it's not pissing down, party and gig tonight, planning breakfast and a dump.
What's Saturday got for you?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Sat 7 Sep 2013, 7:57, 11 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I might go to the cinema tomorrow. What should I watch?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 21:06, 125 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

What position are you in right now...
In the fantasy football?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 21:02, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Fine, I'll start a new thread
I've totally over-cuted lately. Today I got a new guinea pig (although this is still dependent on the other guinea pig getting on with her) and a Spiograph set and a set of brightly coloured pens. Yesterday I played with a puppy.

I'm working up the endorphins, people

So, what have you done that's cute or twee lately?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 19:02, 103 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Book Thread
I'm coming up to the end of the first Game Of Thrones and I really love this book.

I really like reading, I never started reading books [for pleasure] until I was about 18 or soo, but since then i've always had a book on a go. I'm a slow reader, takes me about 2m a page, but most of the time it's great. I wish I could just consume a book in a few days or a week like normal people, there are so many books I want to read.

This looks good: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00987MQRQ/ref=oh_d__o01_details_o01__i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Rather than recomend a book, how about an author? Grayham Joyce is dead good.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 16:16, 102 replies, latest was 11 years ago)