Was I too harsh?
I have a friend who constantly asks to borrow $20 on a Friday. It got to the point where I started to give him $30 if he cleaned my apartment on a Friday. He does a FANTASTIC job of cleaning my place (it's small and I keep it clean and tidy during the week - he just does dishes & kitchen, cleans the bathroom, vacuums).
I also pay him to do odd jobs for me, like moving my stuff from my old apartment to my new one, putting up shelves - that kind of stuff.

Last night, he asked to borrow my car (not a problem as I can drive my boyfriends other car), but I asked him to park it in my parking spot at home as I was staying with my partner and he would take me home in the morning so I could get ready for work etc. My friend assured me he would.

I got home, showered, got ready for work and walked over to my carport. Car not there. Walked around the apartment complex for 10 minutes, while calling my friend to ask where the fuck he'd parked it. Turns out he'd parked it in his girlfriends carport...BUT, until today I didn't know exactly where she lived. I ended up getting the bus to work, fucking furious at my friend.
He apologized etc etc, and promised to unpack my boxes (which I'd paid him to do). I got home tonight...boxes not unpacked but 3/4 of a bottle of vodka was gone, 4 beers were gone and a pack of homemade elk sausages were gone.

I called him and told him that I feel he's taking advantage of my generosity, as I pay him to do stuff for me. I don't mind him having a beer while he's doing it, but don't leave me with none. And don't drink 3/4 of a bottle of my vodka and take food that's not ready to make (sandwiches or whatever). He said he understood, but as he's a friend I felt like such a heel having to say stuff to him about it.

I've never been in this situation before. Was I too harsh, did I do the right thing, or am I just a cunt?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 17 Jan 2009, 6:51, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

WTF??
Which friggin' dozy bastard commissioned the redrawing of the Mr Men? They've all got extra lines around their mouths and eyes and some of the Mr Men have been completely redesigned. Mr Nosey no longer has a big nose, probably so as not to offend someone or other and Mr Uppity has been renamed Mr Rude, probably because "the kids might not know what uppity means". <seethe>

Look at the original Mr Tickle story

and now this
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 22:04, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey you cool kids
Can I be in your gang please?

I've done a fair old bit on QOTW - check profile for proof - but somehow feel...well, unfulfilled.

I don't want to rock any boats, or impinge upon any monopolies...

Fuck all the niceties, I'm a fat git working lateshifts with virtually nothing to do and I need entertainment. Witty, erudite, scatalogical entertaiment. I'm going to be laid off shortly anyway.

To ingratiate (grovel my way into your affections) myself here's a question.

This week we've lost McGooghan, Montelban and Mortimer. They all begin with M.

Tomorrow?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 21:47, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So that was that.
This is still Off Topic.


( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 17:42, 127 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Springtime For Monkeysex and Althegeordie....
It kind of goes doesn't it?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 16 Jan 2009, 17:00, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

PJM CNN Newsflash
Che Monkeysex and and his army of revolutionaries continues to wage guerilla warefare on Offtopic.

HSH is said to be severely damaged as the guerillas from the CDC Popular front continue to advance meeting little resistence along the way.

Sources close to OffTopic report that a moderator has been crudely photoshopped.

*sounds of explosions and gunfire*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 16 Jan 2009, 16:03, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

QOTW??????
all 3 winners on the newsletter were photo entries

fuck you b3ta

that is all

yes, it's friday, and yes i've had a beer.
(Reverend Samson Fapohunda B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, B3tan, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 14:59, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hi there little man..


Edit: the writing was clearer in Irfanview (tesco value photoshop).
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 14:35, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Procrastination
I finally got around to plumbing in my new dishwasher and in the early cycles, it sounds a bit like Willy Wonka's Everlasting Gobstopper Machine (from the 1971 film)
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 14:28, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dear beloved leader and fearless revolutionary Hasslehoff

(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 14:04, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

when the revolution came
Who was the first up against the wall to be shot?
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:57, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Fucksock
Cunt
BOllocks
Asshat
Gurning Chimp
Fellated Monkey

I'm shit at drawing so indiscriminate swearing is my only hope

Viva La Revolution!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:54, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Apologies for my lateness but I was having a crisis in the REAL WORLD! SHOCK! HORROR!
Driving back from working this morning - had to take son #2 with me as he's got a sore throat and croaky voice and therefore can't irritate his teacher, instead he has to irritate me.
Hmm...

Anyway, also had my parents in the car - dental appointment, blah, blah, blah.

So, my darling eleven year old son blurts out, "Mum, what's a dido? Everyone at school says, You dido!"

Phew, I think, narrowly escaped that one...

"Darling, it's Dido and it's a name - she's a singer and there was also a woman in mythology called Dido married to a man called Aeneas - I'll find the story for you somewhere."

Oh, how middle class!

"No Mum, I got it wrong. What's a DILDO?"



................


My dad had (mercifully) nodded off in the warmth of the car.

My mother had to have the term 'blow job' explained to her some years ago so she sat silent.

I replied, "I don't know"

Well, what would you have said in front of your parents?

I then turned a rather felching fetching shade of scarlet as I attempted to stop laughing.

"You do know! You do! Mum! What's a dildo?!"

"....."

"Mum!"

"....."

"Mum! What's a dildo?!"

"Erm...what would you like for lunch?"

"A dildo please Mum. Dildo, dildo, dildo"



*Chickenlady asplodes*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:24, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anybody know who this lot are?
I want to find the Fiat advert they did a few years ago.

This
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:22, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hazzah!
My go :-)


(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:12, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh go on then
No need for rophypnol then

Very SFW.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:08, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Meh, I'll join the revolution just to be cool
That "best job in the world" is based on "Hamilton Island, where the temperature is warm all year round, is the largest inhabited island in the region."



Has anybody else noticed the massive fuck off island right next to it called Australia?
( Captain V, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 13:07, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For Monkey Bertsex
Which is your favourite revolution? Mine was the Russian Revolution.

EDIT: Piss, fanny wobble and cockglomp too.
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 12:57, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

On the off-chance you've not seen it
there's a Facebook group called:

"There's No Secret I Wanna Punch Slow Walking People In The Back Of The Head"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 12:52, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So,
I've not been sleeping properly for the last week or so.
Just as I drift off to sleep, I get this weird feeling in my ear, kind of a throbbing ache.

Continued in reply:
( Cawl, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 12:43, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

GOODBYE TO TEH FLUFFEH:
my pictorial tribute in the replies.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 12:33, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gah!
That new Coldplay single seems to be on endless rotation and it's bugging me. Not because I hold any particular hatred for them (I'm indifferent, they're just a bit dull in my view), but because the opening riff sounds exactly like another song - and I can't bloody well remember what it is or who it's by!

Anyone know what I'm talking about? And can anyone enlighten me as to the song? *EDIT* the song that is being ripped off, that is.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Jan 2009, 12:22, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bah.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/7832647.stm

I now reserve the right to refuse to work anywhere where there is religious iconography of any sort. EDIT: And still be paid.

This is ridiculous.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Fri 16 Jan 2009, 11:59, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)